Competition SpudQoach™ Season 30 - End Of Season Reveal ON NOW

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3KZ is Football

Cancelled
Jun 17, 2008
19,673
22,332
In the grandstand at the Brunswick St. Oval
AFL Club
Brisbane Lions
Other Teams
Fitzroy Football Club


Your boy ND will be low key optimistic about his chances in the Season 30 edition of SpudQoach™

6. NaturalDisaster - 732.6


The Coney Island Warriors spearhead and Sweet FA admin hopeful NaturalDisaster in SFA competitions ending in 'qoach', having been bested by yours truly in another format that shall remain nameless, but most importantly ND knows and is likely to get a little hot under the collar about, some may even say melty. A lacklustre performer in previous editions of SpudQoach™ and his lack of complying with the use of the template nearly saw him met with the extreme prejudice others have found themselves faced with this season.


What a difference a season can make. Having spent a season now at such a high quality qooty side with the Warriors, he has clearly been able to differentiate, and gain a clearer perspective on just what really constitutes a top tier tuber.


There's a lot to like about Team Dumbarse in Season 30, even though we still find a couple of absolute clangers where he's fallen into similar traps to some of those Qoaches we have already highlighted in this mid season update, but overall he's selected well. So the clever stuff first, with players like Kennedy Parker set to spend his season down back, fellow Qoach GremioPower and former Hawks teammate Biggie playing more supporting roles in S30, not to mention the out of favour Dragon Cold Sober, he's kept his overall score manageable with all scoring under 30 SpudQoach™ points. Throw in picks like former Rats skipper Far Kern, Wonders recluse Coopers, teammate Freofalcon and the Bombers' Requiem all coming in under 60 SpudQoach™ points and we're looking good for a high finish. But there were some head scratchers among them, with the costly picks of Werewolf regular but SFA part timer 3KZ is Football on 87.0 SpudQoach™ points, and the Gumbies in and out NSWCROW with 83.7 SpudQoach™ points, and that's enough to set ND adrift from the leading pack. Then throw in former East Side Hawks teammate jackenny who is yet to register a game in S30 and has delivered a maximum 200 SpudQoach™ points so far, and that will probably be enough to see ND out of the mix for the title in S30, and most likely deny him of a podium finish.


Still, it's a vast improvement not only in result, but in commitment to the competition this season from ND, who has shown some panache for picking the potato, and is well placed to remain in the top tier of the draw come the completion of the S30 SpudQoach™ competition.
Get stuffed.
 

3KZ is Football

Cancelled
Jun 17, 2008
19,673
22,332
In the grandstand at the Brunswick St. Oval
AFL Club
Brisbane Lions
Other Teams
Fitzroy Football Club
3kz is football, seems unnecessarily melty today.

TheInjuryFactory
I’m exhausted. I didn’t sleep last night. I have to watch the Brisbane VICTORY over Richmond 15 times to eradicate the pain of our previous 15 consecutive losses. It wears you out after a while.
 

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TheInjuryFactory

Upper Murray Defense League
Aug 25, 2011
13,149
39,921
Perth
AFL Club
Fremantle
Other Teams
Coney Island Warriors, SFFC, Hajduk

Chippy has proved himself to be a potato connoisseur in his first crack at the Qoaching caper in this season's edition of SpudQoach™

5. Chipmunk - 675.8

Second year Hawks sensation Chipmunk is another of the S29 rookie class to throw their hat in the ring for the Season 30 edition of SpudQoach™, and would have been looking for bragging rights as well as looking to make a good fist of it in his first attempt at the competition. With a season to get his eye in, he carefully and confidently curated an artisanal blend of potatoes, although he was cautiously optimistic as to just how he would fare in his maiden SpudQoach™ season.


Well it turns out he fared quite well indeed, and finds himself the first cab off the rank for the top 5 at the mid season mark of Season 30's SpudQoach™.


So Team Chippy. A good blend of savvy unders picks, some quality middle of the road value picks and almost entirely bereft of clangers besides one of the gotcha picks of Season 30. So the gems would have to be the HOFers okeydoke7 & teammate Biggie on 25.1 and 21.0
SpudQoach™
points respectively, along with the trio of Red mist, The acurate one and Headless who all up come in at under 100 SpudQoach™ points in total for the three of them. Middle of of the road scorers like CALL ME SNAKE on 48.0 SpudQoach™ points, and perennial high scorers por_please_ya and Tigerturbulance who are both putting up quieter seasons statistically with 51.8 and 56.4 SpudQoach™ points respectively, and we are yet to find any real cracks. Really the only so so pick would be the Rats' Sparkle who was a good point of difference but is enjoying a strong season on 66.3 SpudQoach™ points. But it was the unlucky selection of suprise Round 2 Warriors retiree kdavva74 that has done the most damage, in a similar vein to what JoshWoodenSpoon did to squads across the ocmpetition in Season 29, as he is currently running on a whopping 181.0 SpudQoach™ points after looking like great value as a mid who had gone down back to kick off the season.


All in all, to finish in the top half of the draw on your first go is kinda nuts, but chippy is still firmly placed to climb the rankings and stands within a chance of making it onto the podium if all goes to plan for him and the top player's squads falter between now and season's end.

Congratulations chippy and welcome to the mid season top 5 of Season 30 SpudQoach™
 

Red mist

Reynholm Industries
Jun 30, 2014
26,764
32,909
The Winchester
AFL Club
Adelaide
Other Teams
Tottenham Hotspur, East Side Hawks

Chippy has proved himself to be a potato connoisseur in his first crack at the Qoaching caper in this season's edition of SpudQoach™

5. Chipmunk - 675.8

Second year Hawks sensation Chipmunk is another of the S29 rookie class to throw their hat in the ring for the Season 30 edition of SpudQoach™, and would have been looking for bragging rights as well as looking to make a good fist of it in his first attempt at the competition. With a season to get his eye in, he carefully and confidently curated an artisanal blend of potatoes, although he was cautiously optimistic as to just how he would fare in his maiden SpudQoach™ season.


Well it turns out he fared quite well indeed, and finds himself the first cab off the rank for the top 5 at the mid season mark of Season 30's SpudQoach™.


So Team Chippy. A good blend of savvy unders picks, some quality middle of the road value picks and almost entirely bereft of clangers besides one of the gotcha picks of Season 30. So the gems would have to be the HOFers okeydoke7 & teammate Biggie on 25.1 and 21.0
SpudQoach™
points respectively, along with the trio of Red mist, The acurate one and Headless who all up come in at under 100 SpudQoach™ points in total for the three of them. Middle of of the road scorers like CALL ME SNAKE on 48.0 SpudQoach™ points, and perennial high scorers por_please_ya and Tigerturbulance who are both putting up quieter seasons statistically with 51.8 and 56.4 SpudQoach™ points respectively, and we are yet to find any real cracks. Really the only so so pick would be the Rats' Sparkle who was a good point of difference but is enjoying a strong season on 66.3 SpudQoach™ points. But it was the unlucky selection of suprise Round 2 Warriors retiree kdavva74 that has done the most damage, in a similar vein to what JoshWoodenSpoon did to squads across the ocmpetition in Season 29, as he is currently running on a whopping 181.0 SpudQoach™ points after looking like great value as a mid who had gone down back to kick off the season.


All in all, to finish in the top half of the draw on your first go is kinda nuts, but chippy is still firmly placed to climb the rankings and stands within a chance of making it onto the podium if all goes to plan for him and the top player's squads falter between now and season's end.

Congratulations chippy and welcome to the mid season top 5 of Season 30 SpudQoach™
Don’t tag me you squeaking floor squirter. X
 

Grand Uncle Horace

Brownlow Medallist
May 24, 2017
21,664
24,878
Old South Grandstand
AFL Club
Sydney

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TheInjuryFactory

Upper Murray Defense League
Aug 25, 2011
13,149
39,921
Perth
AFL Club
Fremantle
Other Teams
Coney Island Warriors, SFFC, Hajduk

Sensing a moment of great shame was upon him, Santoz hit the eject button on his account this week.


14. Santoz - 1284.8


An unmitigated disaster.

No, not Santoz' embarrassing, ham-fisted attempt at defrauding the sanctity of the Sweet FA competition and the innocence of the prestigious EKA Medal he was never within a bull's roar of contending for, but rather his utterly humiliating result in this season's edition of SpudQoach.

After an ordinary display in S29, the only way was up for the Bombers upstart. Yet he somehow even managed to fu** that up. You'd think he'd be an expert at this given the sheer number of absolute fu**en potatoes that have landed on his club's list, and yet here we are.

At the halfway mark of the competition he was still in with a chance of a middle table finish, so what went wrong?


Now to be fair, it's hard to compare SpudQoach™ competitions over different seasons, as there are always factors that can contribute to some unexpected score blow outs. Things like JoshWoodenSpoon's 'JerryRapidRiser' moment, kdavva74 packing it in after Round 1 this season, and a handful of other anomalies that no reasonable observer can expect a Qoach to predict. But in saying that, none of those such anomalies were to blame here. Just pure, unadulterated failure. Where do we start? Well this is one for the record books, as our mate Santoz now has the ignominy of the worst score in the history of SpudQoach™, eclipsing JWS' previous high water mark of 1234.3 in the very first edition of SpudQoach™. Not only that, but he also now holds the record for the biggest back half blow out which is quite fitting for a man who chooses to spend his time in a prison with a group full of horny, sex deprived reprobates. Anecdotally, there were wall to wall shockers across every line. Firstly, the selection of Bears recluse reggie was as surprising as it was ridiculous, while Kirkswan probably made more sense but bit just as hard, both players registering the maximum 200 SpudQoach™ points for not attending a single bounce in s30. The selection of TheHairyGamer as captain no less was another howler, delivering 256.8 SpudQoach™ points, the most for any skipper in this season's competition. Add to that the predictably costly picks of rank inactives Oddhawk, Coopers and This Is Anfield, and we are breaking new ground in SpudQoach™ folklore. In fact, the only picks that made any kind of sense were that of former teammate beez with 40.4 SpudQoach™ points after a quiet S30, and Hawks HOFer Biggie on 26 SpudQoach™ points as he too took on a reduced role at the East Side outfit for S30.


If only there was a badge for extreme failure. Maybe Chief can work something out for you mate.

Thanks for playing this season's edition of SpudQoach™.
 
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Grand Uncle Horace

Brownlow Medallist
May 24, 2017
21,664
24,878
Old South Grandstand
AFL Club
Sydney
The potato blight devastated Ireland in the 19th Century. Looks like the Santoz spud harvest was decimated.

My own crop will barely beat Santoz. We know the owners of the land that produced blight resistant spuds will not help us, the poor and unlucky share croppers.

But we impoverished farmers share. Sure Santoz gets "champed" a lot, but he does deserve a feed. Here is bowl of the good stuff.
CHAMP
1 recipe photo
 

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