Competition Stormy's 2020 Jumper Power Rankings

[Jones2ByrneJones]

G'day Guernsey Gurus and welcome to the second edition of Stormy's Jumper Rankings.

To kick things off, I'll be rating and discussing the home and away jumpers of the 2020 AFL season. I will consider a range of factors from historical significance and overall aesthetics to symmetry and ease of reproduction. The specific formula will remain secret until the end, but rest assured that the mathematics are correct and this is an entirely accurate metric to rank AFL jumpers.

Clash jumpers will be under extra scrutiny as they involve a Contrast Multiplier, where a team is measured by how often they are able to produce a sufficient contrast. For example, Brisbane's white and red jumpers can provide sufficient contrast in 16 out of 17 matches, therefore Brisbane's Contrast Multiplier is 16/17 or 0.94. Brisbane's Fitzroy uniform scores 94.5 points, however with the contrast multiplier comes down to 88.8.

Let the games begin.

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Ladder
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24) Gold Coast Home - 73.8

34) Carlton Clash - 58.2
35) Brisbane Clash - 54.5
36) Melbourne Clash - 51.1
37) Adelaide Clash - 42.1

 

[Jones2ByrneJones]

37) Adelaide could make a stew with all the spuds on their list, and they could stir it with all the spoons they've been earning. Sitting proudly in last place with 42.1 points is Adelaide's clash jumper.

The beauty of the white-based jumper is that it's white-based, meaning it has a high Contrast Multiplier, providing a sufficient contrast in nearly all match-ups. Unfortunately, this jumper suffers in every other way, from a terrible colour scheme to a historically insignificant design.

This clash jumper is the only jumper in the league to score less than 50 points and more than deserves the title of worst jumper in the league.

 

[Jones2ByrneJones]

36) Aesthetic and timeless, Melbourne's royal blue clash is a truly great football jumper and scores 91.3 points... or would have, rather, if it served its purpose as a clash jumper. It provides good contrast against just 8 home jumpers. Minor contrasts and minor clashes (or worse) are present in all of the remainder.

With a Contrast Multiplier of just 0.56, the total score of this guernsey is brought down to a meagre 51.1 and lands Melbourne in second-last. What could have been a top 15 finish has turned to failure. It's a real shame.

 

[1990crow]

37) Adelaide could make a stew with all the spuds on their list, and they could stir it with all the spoons they've been earning. Sitting proudly in last place with 42.1 points is Adelaide's clash jumper.

The beauty of the white-based jumper is that it's white-based, meaning it has a high Contrast Multiplier, providing a sufficient contrast in nearly all match-ups. Unfortunately, this jumper suffers in every other way, from a terrible colour scheme to a historically insignificant design.

This clash jumper is the only jumper in the league to score less than 50 points and more than deserves the title of worst jumper in the league.

Can you please forward to Andrew Fagan. They somehow made the previous white Guernsey worse by putting on that white crow and blue,red yellow cuffs.

 

[Jones2ByrneJones]

35) "Lions, Fitzroy and Bears" said Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. It should have been simple wisdom to heed - a red based clash for the Fitzroy side of their heritage, and a yellow based one for the Bears. Alas, we were blessed with this white-based monstrosity.

This guernsey has no real relation to the club at all. It's an awful amalgum of ideas, a poorly rendered fauxback. It has the Bears colour scheme but in the wrong places and the wrong proportions. It has the Fitzroy Lion as the centrepiece, but it's awkwardly placed and difficult to see on a busy background. It's like Lachie Nill and Huge McRubbish kicking 0.6 and 1.5 against Adelaide earlier this year. Lots of darts were fired yet nearly everything missed.

It's certainly not the worst design to grace a football field, but it's a poor effort that rightfully wallows all the way down in 35th place with 54.5 points.

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Ladder
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35) Brisbane Clash - 54.5
36) Melbourne Clash - 51.1
37) Adelaide Clash - 42.1

 

[Jones2ByrneJones]

34) Simple and elegant, yet indistinctive. Carlton have never been complicated in their approach to uniforms, and their clash jumper is no exception, featuring a plain guernsey with a monogram. However, what should have and could have been a distinct Carlton guernsey has become Yet Another White Guernsey in the AFL clash hemisphere.

It serves its purpose as a clash jumper and is favored accordingly, yet this jumper fails to reach the mark. Carlton's clash guernsey clocks in at 58.2 points.

jumping ahead...

24) Due to the severity of the Contrast Multiplier, the teams ranked 25 and onwards are all clash jumpers. The lowest ranked home jumper sits relatively high at 24 with 73.8 points. The Gold Coast Suns win the losing game with the most boring, utterly lifeless excuse for a football jumper.

A large corporate logo is the only design feature amongst the red base and yellow side panels. There is a gradient and rising sun effect inside the logo, and it's not awful, but it's not an easy identity to take pride in. Perhaps one day there will be a small amount of creativity and life in the Gold Coast Suns uniform.

Today, however, is a cloudy day for the Gold Coast Suns for wearing the worst home jumper in the league.

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Ladder
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24) Gold Coast Home - 73.8

34) Carlton Clash - 58.2
35) Brisbane Clash - 54.5
36) Melbourne Clash - 51.1
37) Adelaide Clash - 42.1

 

[magpiemaniac44]

36) Aesthetic and timeless, Melbourne's royal blue clash is a truly great football jumper and scores 91.3 points... or would have, rather, if it served its purpose as a clash jumper. It provides good contrast against just 8 home jumpers. Minor contrasts and minor clashes (or worse) are present in all of the remainder.

With a Contrast Multiplier of just 0.56, the total score of this guernsey is brought down to a meagre 51.1 and lands Melbourne in second-last. What could have been a top 15 finish has turned to failure. It's a real shame.

I hope they go back to this as their home jumper one day

 

[Jones2ByrneJones]

Let's jump up the queue to display one of the classiest jumpers in the AFL.

8) Dialing in at 93.4 points is the highest rated clash jumper of the year. Take a bow, West Coast Eagles. What a set of uniforms this highly successful club has produced.

While only young when compared to some other clubs in the league, the Eagles boast a proud history of many finals wins and premierships in the historic Wings. The jumper is the perfect blend of complexity, with the detail in the logo, and the simplicity in which it thrives. An historically significant design paired with a modern graphic. Just beautiful.

The perfect complement to their home jumper, this golden edition of The Wings can produce sufficient contrast in all hypothetical contests against nearly all other home uniforms in the AFL. Their contrast multiplier is the highest of all clash jumpers.


Any guesses or predictions on who finishes first? Who else finishes in the 30's?


======
Ladder
======
8) West Coast Eagles Clash - 93.4

24) Gold Coast Home - 73.8

34) Carlton Clash - 58.2
35) Brisbane Clash - 54.5
36) Melbourne Clash - 51.1
37) Adelaide Clash - 42.1

 

[Jones2ByrneJones]

 

[Gibbsy]

Keen for the next post to be #1

 

[Freight Train]

Let's jump up the queue to display one of the classiest jumpers in the AFL.

8) Dialing in at 93.4 points is the highest rated clash jumper of the year. Take a bow, West Coast Eagles. What a set of uniforms this highly successful club has produced.

While only young when compared to some other clubs in the league, the Eagles boast a proud history of many finals wins and premierships in the historic Wings. The jumper is the perfect blend of complexity, with the detail in the logo, and the simplicity in which it thrives. An historically significant design paired with a modern graphic. Just beautiful.

The perfect complement to their home jumper, this golden edition of The Wings can produce sufficient contrast in all hypothetical contests against nearly all other home uniforms in the AFL. Their contrast multiplier is the highest of all clash jumpers.


Any guesses or predictions on who finishes first? Who else finishes in the 30's?


======
Ladder
======
8) West Coast Eagles Clash - 93.4

24) Gold Coast Home - 73.8

34) Carlton Clash - 58.2
35) Brisbane Clash - 54.5
36) Melbourne Clash - 51.1
37) Adelaide Clash - 42.1

I have a strange feeling Freo will be in first, given it’s a block colour design and purple, in theory, have a unique colour.

That, or GWS.

 

[The Cheesecake]

I have a strange feeling Freo will be in first, given it’s a block colour design and purple, in theory, have a unique colour.

That, or GWS.

Or Hawthorn

 

[TheLoungeLizard]

Brilliant

 

[Jones2ByrneJones]

Keen for the next post to be #1

I'm afraid you'll have to be patient, skipper. All in good time. That said, I'll give you the #2 guernsey in the entire AFL.

Collingwood's home.

A masterpiece in simple geometry, the three pronged design is simple and timeless.

I have a strange feeling Freo will be in first, given it’s a block colour design and purple, in theory, have a unique colour.

That, or GWS.

Fremantle have a reasonably good score, but fall short in the history department. I'm not entering #returntheanchor territory, the new Three Chevron Design is a good go at something respectable, but the anchor/the terrible combination of four colours was endearing. The chevrons are simple and nice, and score well aesthetically.

Or Hawthorn

Not far off tbh

 

[Jones2ByrneJones]

How would historic guernseys rate amongst the current rotation, do you reckon?

I'll give you a teaser. Who could forger the famous Brisbane 2007 Clash jumper? What was quite clearly a terrible venture from every possible perspective was somehow given the green light by multiple people with authority. Obvious urination imagery aside; the colours were bad, the asymmetry was pointlessly abstract, and the gradients were ugly and unnecessary.

This shameful piece of AFL history conjures up 28.1 points in a wizardly effort at failure. Even the Paddlepop Lion ranked higher than this abomination.

I had to format the vertical axis to accommodate the lowly Brisbane, which shamefully highlights just how poorly they scored. Woeful effort.

 

[Dylan8]

Disappointing Thread of the Year