
manangatang
Günther was slain in the catacombs
- Moderator
- #1

Sit down children; I’d like to tell you a story.
This story isn’t just about a man, but it does have a male protagonist. It’s a story about endurance; perseverance; self-sacrifice. Of love, laughter and skipping stones. Sit down, grab your teddy and put your listening ears on.
The light of a warm summer morning filters through the rich linen curtains of the bedroom, spilling gently over the resting face of the strikingly handsome man. It is 12:00pm midday on January 21st 2007.
This man has spent the previous evening playing some strange online cricket strategy game, but is yearning for more. His exhaustion and the late hour of his slumber is in part due to a lack of stimulation; the ongoing desire for another environment to share his brilliance proving overwhelming to his psyche.
Waking with the sense of ennui to which he had become accustomed, the man rolls over and somehow manages to lift his 24kg laptop (which is the style at the time) from the floor. He boots up Internet Explorer and begins to browse. He skips right past an article mentioning something about an ‘Apple iPhone’ – “that’ll never catch on” he grunts as he stumbles on and on through the internet brambles.
After a further 10 minutes of clicking and scrolling, the man stops. His jaw drops open with amazement. He has somehow struck upon exactly what he was looking for.
His eyes greedily consume text published on the website. Sure, it’s very clunky and unattractive, and there are no amazing modern features such as automatically loading player cards, but there’s something arousing about this website for this man.
It appears to be some text-based game – a game of chance, skill and craft all wrapped up into one. There’s apparently a community of people who post one to two times a week, with the central theme being rivalry and competition around this game.
They compete in ‘matches’ of a new and wonderful online game called Qooty, and their competition is expressed via one-sentence parochial 'team banter'. His eyes light up as he reads “Go Dragons”. “We’ll be sure to smash this mob this week!”. “The Seventh Wonders are the best”.
It's a warm day, but the sweat beading on the brow of this man is of excitement - as if his very pores are clearing room for this new phase of his life; his new identity; his refreshed id.
Such is his excitement that he can barely control his trembling hand as uses his wired mouse to click into a reply box and as he begins to type the following fateful words…
Sure, he’s been in this corner of the internet before – his first BigFooty post spouting the benefits of the Melbourne Demons playing Mark Jamar at full-forward – but this is DIFFERENT. This is a corner hidden in an unseen corner inside another corner, and it felt like it had been made JUST FOR HIM.
Within moments, a man who has named himself Deestroy steps forward and brings the young aspirant under the feathery wing of the Mt. Buller Demons. He steps into his first match thread feeling positively giddy with excitement bordering on delirium, and posts this…
Come on Dees, let's win this!
From that moment, he is hooked. Like a dehydrated man who has stumbled upon a deep pool of life-giving water, he throws himself into this new world with gusto. Letting the force and flow of its sim wash over him and give him new life.
Over the following 13 years, this man’s life changes in many fundamental and interesting ways.
He is drafted to the Gold Coast Suns with pick 7 in the 2010 AFL National Draft, so his life is uprooted accordingly. Oh, he enjoys his time there on the Coast, what with the women and the kebabs, but when the Geelong Football Club comes knocking in 2012, he is keen to head home to more familiar pastures.
Winning a premiership with Richmond in 2017 is a moment of glory and personal pride. He shares the elation with friends and family alike, after setting a calendar reminder to celebrate the win. They sip from the cup of real life accomplishment.
However, the one constant anchor through this period is his affinity with the corner of the internet he first stepped into on that fateful morning in January of 2007. It is where his spirit is housed – where he can truly be who he is.
It’s been a platform for his laughter, his tears, his triumph and failure. It’s played host to his catch-phrases and quirks. It’s been sanctuary for his dreams and creativity.
And now – in November 2020 – we celebrate the journey of Josh Caddy in the Sweet F.A. as he plays his 400th game of Qootball. In response to this momentous occasion, a man called Hate strides in and tells us of all that our protagonist has achieved thus far, excluding the S29 All-SFA team selection he so richly deserved!
~ s t a t s ~
Josh Caddy (aka Headless) | |
GMS | 399 |
Club(s) | DEM (399) |
HO | 79 |
K | 2348 |
M | 1174 |
HB | 2348 |
T | 357 |
FF | 177 |
FA | 256 |
G | 214 |
B | 171 |
D | 4696 |
DT | 17633 |
MM | 30/17 |
W-D-L | 208-2-189 |
x2 Premiership Player (S18, 26)
x2 All-SFA Selections (S25, 27)
Highest DreamTeam Points:
125 DT Points - Season 19, Round 05 - East Side Hawks vs. (Mount Buller Demons)
100+ DreamTeam Points:
x9 occasions
Highest Disposals:
33 Disposals - x2 occasions
20+ Disposals:
x63 occasions
Highest Goals:
6 Goals - Season 18, Round 14 - Sin City Swamprats vs. Mount Buller Demons
Highest Marks:
11 Marks - Season 18, Round 01 - (Mount Buller Demons) vs. Roys FFC
A remarkable effort for a one-club player, moving his way up the historical ranks of the league. From little things, big things grow. It is said that a song should be written to that effect. Perhaps Terence Trent D'Arby could write it or something.
Speaking of songs, such is this man's legend that a song WAS written, performed and uploaded to YouTube JUST FOR HIM. To this day, the masses tell his story through song and sing richly from their hearts in praise and thankfulness of his almighty league presence.
We thank him for his contribution to his club, to his teammates and to the entire league. Sure, he may not have the full-ground running capacity of Jason Castagna, but he makes the Sweet F.A. a brighter place for everyone. He is truly loved, even though he can’t quite get the tank to play off the wing.
And they all lived happily ever after.
The End?
No. Not the end.