Health Struggling with life and getting over my ex girlfriend?

t_94

Club Legend
May 6, 2014
2,598
4,266
AFL Club
St Kilda
Dude listening to this, you’re actually in a spot with plenty of upside, though it might not seem like it.

Career - you’re 25 with no dependents. Forget your career, it hasn’t even started yet. You’re in an amazing position as far as being able to forge a path you want. Many people can’t.

Have a serious think about what your ideal career would be. Get help with it. See a career coach. Speak to recruiters. I don’t mean “I wanna be an astronaut” stuff. I mean what’s a real, practical career that would suit what you want and are good at? People think about this stuff. There’s an industry devoted to working with you on it.

The good news is that an accounting degree and experience is far from wasted. You’ll be able to employ the skills you have in basically any role, company or organisation. Money really does make the fu**in world go round. If you understand it, it’s an advantage in absolutely any field.

Now changing careers isn’t that easy. And yes, I’ve done it. Depending on what you’re going into, you might need to take a major pay cut. You might need to do some unpaid work after hours to get experience. Is it worth it? If you want it, absolutely. If you’ve chosen it you may well even enjoy it anyway.

The great advantage you have is you’ve become aware that your career doesn’t fulfil you now. Lots of people gets distracted and don’t realise this stuff for decades. You can start crafting something now.

Anxiety - it sucks, but it sounds like it’s not debilitating. I mean, if you’re out playing soccer in a team, you have actually met girls and started a relationship, you’re a hell of a lot better off than some others. Keep working at it.

It can help to realise what you have rather than what you don’t have. Read about these things. Getting inspiration from what others have gone through isn’t meant to belittle your problems - they are absolutely real - it’s meant to give you an appreciation for what you have, rather than what you’re missing. We’re all missing things.

Here’s a quote from quadriplegic Beau Vernon. Strapping, knockabout 23yo footballer one minute, spine injury the next minute.

He spent seven months at the Royal Talbot rehabilitation hospital in Kew. After being shown around the facilities on his first day, he found himself alone in his room.

"I couldn't scratch my nose, I couldn't turn on the TV, I couldn't turn the pages of a book," he said. "I couldn't feed myself, I couldn't go to the toilet. In that instant, I broke down crying uncontrollably, thinking, ‘How did my life get to here?' "


If you’re into reading - or even if you’re not - try The Element by Sir Ken Robinson. If you can somehow find your element, you’ll be happy, dedicated and busy, it’s amazing how often the other stuff falls into place. As for girls, well... if you have a passion for something and you’re working at it, you don’t realise how attractive that can be.

Not aimed at me but great post. Thanks The Bunk.
 
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Tarkyn_24

Brownlow Medallist
Dec 23, 2006
29,898
25,552
AFL Club
Collingwood
gee whiz what a whinger
The bloke’s clearly having a rough time of it, or at least feels as such. Emotions can get on top of everyone from time to time and it can feel like the walls are closing in and you’re stuck in a hamster wheel - a bit of compassion wouldn’t go astray.

Definitely seen bigger sooks around the forum. He could be whinging about the occasional bogan getting in to the AFL members, for instance.
 

SHAKESPEARE

Brownlow Medallist
Jun 21, 2009
25,839
31,492
AFL Club
Hawthorn
Definitely seen bigger sooks around the forum. He could be whinging about the occasional bogan getting in to the AFL members, for instance.
I'm clearly having a rough time of it, or at least feels as such. Emotions in the AFL members can get on top of everyone from time to time and it can feel like the walls are closing in and you’re stuck in a hamster wheel - a bit of compassion wouldn’t go astray.
 

ash_1050

Club Legend
Nov 21, 2009
2,460
3,840
Melbourne
AFL Club
Essendon
Other Teams
Melbourne Victory and Arsenal
do things get better?
Absolutely they get better and they will mate, though you might feel down for a while which is totally ok. As others have mentioned you don't see it now but looking back you'll realise you've got a prime opportunity right now to make the most of your opportunities. A lot of good advice has been provided already, I'd add to that if you've got a spare few hundred bucks book a trip somewhere cheap abroad like Thailand, Vietnam or even Bali to have something to look forward to and get you out of your current environment for a bit. Alternately if there's a bit more of a budget book something like a Contiki trip and explore Europe for a bit with a stack of other similar people your age. It's a great way to socialise and you'll soon be focused on the future rather than the past.
 

Macpotata

Norm Smith Medallist
Mar 22, 2017
7,234
8,259
AFL Club
Geelong
In all honesty, you won't give a flying fu** later on down the track. Every campaigner goes through hell in life. 1st response said it all. You're in way better shape than many 25 year olds. Hell is hell, no matter what. But better to be where you are than someone who can't walk, lost a son/family member etc.


Again, Craigos is spot on

'' You met a girl when you had no experience with women and now you have that 7 months experience to draw on for your next relationship ''


7 months experience and good times to draw on and take into your next relationship/fu** buddy. It will happen again, even if you think it won't. Without the s**t at the end, you wouldn't have got the good. Be thankful you had that, before you didn;t.


Join clubs, have fun. Knuckle down and work hard. Regroup. Life is all about answering the challengers and obstacles that get's thrown in our way.
 

Macpotata

Norm Smith Medallist
Mar 22, 2017
7,234
8,259
AFL Club
Geelong
Life doesn't pull punches for NOBODY. Rich, famous, no matter who or where you come from.



Everyone's been there and everyone will.
 

Run n Spread

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 2, 2013
7,532
5,190
AFL Club
Collingwood
do things get better?
Yes they very much get better. Control your own life and set in the direction you want to go. Nothing else matters. You have a great insight at your age you sensed something was wrong and you were correct.

Tip:

Don't date: Liars and fantasists (if something feels wrong it is) they will lie through their teeth

Drug Addicts: Nothing against whatever your substance but stay away from the hard core addicts. Drugs will only take precedence.

Anything else over to you. Don't try and please everyone else.
 

Caesar

Ex-Huckleberry
Mar 3, 2005
23,264
7,998
Tombstone, AZ
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
do things get better?
Things get different. When you look back in 10 years, some things will be better than they are now and some things will be worse. Some of the things that seem important now won't matter, and some of the things that don't seem important will.

Sooner or later we all get dealt a dud hand by life that we can't control. The only thing we can control (and judge ourselves on) is how we react to it. I remember when I had setbacks in my early 20s, I'd often go and moan to my dad about it. The only thing he'd ever say is "keep smiling and keep trying".

You can only move forwards. Every morning you wake up, and you start making choices about what you're going to do today. Some choices will align your behaviour with the person you want to be and the life you want to live. Others won't. You know which are which - we all do.

I don't mean to sound glib. Living your life making choices that are consistent with your own values is often hard, sometimes scary, and won't always work out. I just know that all my regrets come from the times when I haven't done it.
 

mr bagcroft

Club Legend
May 19, 2017
2,798
3,089
AFL Club
St Kilda
Yes they very much get better. Control your own life and set in the direction you want to go. Nothing else matters. You have a great insight at your age you sensed something was wrong and you were correct.

Tip:

Don't date: Liars and fantasists (if something feels wrong it is) they will lie through their teeth

Drug Addicts: Nothing against whatever your substance but stay away from the hard core addicts. Drugs will only take precedence.

Anything else over to you. Don't try and please everyone else.
VERY important addition to that list:
Narcissists!
Educate yourself and beware.
 

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Macpotata

Norm Smith Medallist
Mar 22, 2017
7,234
8,259
AFL Club
Geelong
You'll bounce back although you don't think so. This happens to everyone. You'll either end it with someone else, they'll end it with you. Or you could even get married/stay with that person forever.


It happens. Fortunes change.



Best wishes son.
 

tandino

Norm Smith Medallist
Mar 16, 2007
9,674
5,430
Showers Stand
AFL Club
Essendon
You're getting some great advice in this thread.

I hope you can learn from the perspective of others in this thread who have a few more clicks on the odometer. 25 is a brilliant time to make changes in your life.
 
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