Discussion Struggling with Mental Health (Call Beyond Blue (1300 224 636), Lifeline (131 114))

LiterallyNobody

Cancelled due to poster being a Campaigner
30k Posts 10k Posts Cake Connoisseur SFA Daffodil Day Fund Raiser Harry Potter Fan Song Contest Winner - 5+ Rounds Shiny Penny
Jul 26, 2006
35,635
32,224
AFL Club
St Kilda
A few weeks ago I mentioned that I was never going to attend a St Kilda game at Etihad again and there was a reason for that. I put this in another thread but I think it makes more sense here.



Quick word of warning, this post will be long. It will be angsty and it will be very raw. It’s probably going to upset a lot of people but I have some stuff I need to get off my chest. If you do take the time to read it I appreciate that so much but if it sounds like something you don’t want to then skip it. That’s fine.



It starts .... with a confession.



I am in some ways a very toxic human being. I have an actual fear of death and at times it’s a relief because sometimes I hate myself so much it’s the only thing stopping me from taking my own life.



The worst thing about me is my temper. I’ve gone into this before. Check my posting history and you’ll see numerous melts on bay 13, on the general board song contest, on the Werewolf threads (if you don’t know, don’t ask, you don’t want to know).



You’ll see numerous name changes - started as One Eyed Sainter or OES, changed to Melter after a particularly rough period where I lost my s**t, settled on the one I currently have because it felt slightly more anonymous and I actually had to leave this site for my own sanity but I am getting ahead of myself.



This story starts a few years ago. On a day that we here refer to as Bad Friday. For most here it was the day that resulted in the awful game of football that spelt the beginning of the end for Richo. The day that made us realise that we were in no way on the right track. The day that we all never talk about because of the unspeakable horror we witnessed that day.



Well for me that day was the beginning of something else - the beginning of my intense realisation that not every supporter of the football club was a nice person - some were downright horrible.



I have to go back a bit more. I have a naturally loud voice. I have incredible difficulty keeping the volume of my voice down. At the football this becomes a real problem if people are seated near me.



Anyway in this fateful day a gentleman st kilda supporter sitting in front of me and his daughter (either that or he was a cradle snatching pervert but that’s none of my business *sips tea*) got my goat when the girl turned to me literally about five minutes into the game and asked me to keep my voice down. The thing that upset me the most was it wasn’t swearing or even abusing umpires or anything (which I have been rightly told off for doing in the past) - it was simply barracking. I think I may even have been cheering a good passage of play and probably talking to my wife (more on her later) and giving a play by play of the turn of events.



This upset me. It would upset anyone. I can hear you say “Why is this a big deal?” And the reason is because my ****ed up brain MAKES it a big deal. I go into darkness whenever this sort of things happened. And for the rest of the game I was fighting a losing battle trying to keep my voice down and trying not to lose my temper. This continued throughout the entire first half. I would mutter things like “hmmm better not talk too loud in case I get in trouble” and the like naturally drawing my colleague’s ire with every comment.



Midway through the third term there was a particular moment where I couldn’t contain myself and I actually said something along the lines of “oh, better not say anything in case I upset people”



The old campaigner (probably a nice bloke but to me he’s the catalyst for my hatred of this stadium so unfortunately he wears this for the rest of his life) turned around and said firmly “enough” and that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I immediately got up, said a goodbye to my wife and father and viciously stormed off while snarling something bitter like “yeah it’s enough. I’ve had absolutely enough.”



So what followed was a shameful twenty minutes of me making an absolute scene in public at shitihad stadium. There was loud swearing, punching of the concrete wall in the breezeway and utter loss of my senses with little regard to my surroundings.



I need to stress it is very very hard to talk about this. I know my behaviour was out of line and I know I was reacting in an unnecessary way. I don’t need anyone here to tell me I was in the wrong and the guy or his daughter were quite within their rights to tell me to settle down HOWEVER I will fight to the end of the earth for my right to say that how it started and what it started from irregardless of how poorly I handled it was inherently unfair.



I reiterate there was no swearing or anything. It was simply someone asking me to keep my abnormally loud voice down while supporting.



Now.... I know exactly what you’re thinking. El Duderino, why on earth is this such a big deal? Why can’t you just forget about it and not let it get to you?



And that my friends is where we arrive at the major issue here - that I am ****ed in the head and don’t have the ability to not let s**t like this affect me. There’s more to it I’m sure but I won’t bore you with the details of my crippling anxiety because frankly the nitty-gritties of that are not particularly pertinent to this story. Not yet anyway.



Anyway that’s the first time this happened. I put it down to a bad day. Bad Friday for me was nothing to do with the game. This day had been ruined for me by a combination of an unfair turn of events and my inability to deal with it. But sadly this was not the last time such an event would take place.





I need to now make a second confession - one that is probably more shameful to people here but is an integral part of the story:



I am a proxy Carlton member. In some ways they are my equal favourite team but really they are my second favourite team. Now a lot of you will be shocked beyond words right now and some of you already know this. Allow me to explain myself.



Being born in 1984, and being largely not interested in football until about 1995, I don’t have the same atrocious history with Carlton and their supporters that some of you have. To me, the only Carlton supporters I ever really knew were my mother and sister and her family who I saw occasionally. It was the Collingwood and Essendon supporters that were the arseholes to me.



As a result Carlton had always been and still are my second favourite team. A concept foreign to a lot of you I’m sure but still it’s fact. I won’t and have never shied away from that.



Why is this important? Because it brings me to the next point I have to make - I go to every Carlton game with my wife who is also a Carlton supporter. The thing is, my lovely wife absolutely loves football. Almost as much as I do. I’m not talking about just the saints. I love the game. I get into it big time. I watch every game that’s on. We don’t watch movies on the weekend. We watch the footy together. That’s just what we do.



One of the best things about going to Carlton games (I know you all just vomited in your mouth) is that I get to go see a lot of games at the MCG - my favourite footy venue by far. There’s something about that walk from the car park to your seat that just feels amazing. Especially for day games. Playing a Saturday or Sunday afternoon at the G. There’s nothing better. As saints fans we may get to experience this two or three times a year (never more than three since 2013) so going eight or nine times a year is something I take advantage of.



So the next St Kilda game I attended after this was the 2018 game against Carlton which amazingly passed without incident.



The following year I attended the first st kilda Carlton game of 2019 - initially we sat in the medallion club and for the second time the St Kilda supporters in front of me turned away and asked me to keep my voice down. I reacted slightly better this time. I remember I accidentally took the bag with me which had my wife’s phone in it so I couldn’t tell her where I had gone. And I refused to go back to my seat. Anyway blah blah blah long story short it was the second time this had happened. It disgruntled me and made me question ever going to another game at Etihad.



The next game I attended there was of course a Carlton game and again I was nervous (just as I had felt attending the Carlton Gold Coast game the day after Bad Friday) about what reaction fans would have around me. It was my birthday and I was extremely anxious about going. I even said to my wife “can I not go. I don’t want to be upset on my birthday” but in the end I just went and it turned out to be the game where Carlton won their first match with Teague in charge.



No event took place that day nor the next two times I attended games which led me to believe maybe I wasn’t the problem. At this point I was just as loud at these games as I had been at Carlton games and as this was approximately the time I came to the realisation that perhaps it was St Kilda supporters that were the problem. Certain supporters. Not as a collective. Three in particular (though the third I haven’t yet mentioned. Stay tuned)



A couple of weeks later we played Brisbane at Etihad - I’m sure you all remember how that turned out. Absolutely destroyed. Cameron kicked five; they kicked nine goals in the third and we didn’t give a Yelp.





Basically this is where I hit rock bottom as a human being. When my wife tried to convince me that I was being silly getting upset about the footy and it was just a game I lost my s**t (surprise surprise) and ended up walking around the corner lying in the middle of the road completely unaware of anything. A car was coming around the corner fast and I got out of the way just in time. It occurred to me at that point I didn’t care if I lived or died. Which is ridiculous because I had so much to live for. Was football really having such a negative impact on my life?



I decided the safest thing to do was ECO for a few weeks and it kind of worked... for now I would live vicariously through Carlton’s season as they were actually having more success than us at that time. And even when they lost they played exciting football losing two games to the bulldogs and Melbourne that were high scoring thrilling encounters.



A horrible realisation struck me when I attended the Carlton Melbourne game at the G and checked the score at quarter time between st Kilda and north in tassie (we were down seven goals to one) - I didn’t care what happened to St Kilda. Was I suddenly turned into a Carlton supporter?Was I officially over St Kilda? Was I about to be a turncoat flog?



A week later my son hurt his neck and had to go to hospital. As we were waiting for the doctor we watched the Geelong game together and it was a nice moment sharing this love of the same football team. He was getting excited when we were winning which was really cute. He’d never really shown much interest in football up until this point.



Next week as we know Richo got the boot and we won two in a row under Ratts before challenging Adelaide and then beating Freo in a thriller.



So this lead to the game against Carlton at the G. This was a hugely significant game because I felt at the end of the day I’d be happy whatever the result. Obviously I’d be happy if St Kilda won but if we lost, I’d still be happy for my wife that Carlton were finally showing improvement.



Only I wasn’t. I was absolutely devastated at the final siren. I realised at that moment that no matter how much I would be a Carlton supporter when they were playing I was a st Kilda supporter at heart. And any joy or euphoria I felt after Carlton games would be false - it was just short lived and wouldn’t compare to how I felt when we won. Or when we made finals last year. Or won a final. If we ever win a grand final I know that it will an amazing feeling - one I couldn’t possibly describe and that wouldn’t even compare to the false joy I would have at a Carlton premiership (even though I’d be there to soak up the celebrations with my wife)



I had the intention of going to all St Kilda games in 2020 but then Covid hit and we didn’t attend a single game. So instead we move onto 2021 - had the same intention but after just one game I swore right then and there it was third time unlucky for me and I would not return to Etihad to watch the saints. (I will break this rule in round 11 when I go with my mate to see the cripple fight between saints and north - we made this decision in round 3 when both of us suffered enormous defeats)



This was the most ridiculous one of the three and as you’ll shortly find out he was the one with the issue not me. After a particularly good looking kick went to a Melbourne player (as a number of them did)

I called out “good kick” and then upon realising my mistake, hastily tried to correct myself. The look I got from this guy was as though I said idolised Ivan Milat.



I realised in that exact moment three things :

  • I was not going to enjoy this night at all.
  • I needed to shut the * up for self preservation.
  • (Some) St kilda supporters are *******s.


At quarter time two people tried to move past him and he didn’t even let them past. The guy trying to get past actually called him out on it saying “yeah alright mate don’t move”

My wife turned to me and said “he’s the problem not you - don’t let him ruin your night”. But she knew that he would - and did.



Oh by the way if you are that supporter and you post here I don’t apologise for saying that - you are a ******* and you will forever be responsible for ruining my experience.



So that’s my (admittedly rather long) story about what happened that night to make me so determined to never attend a st Kilda game at Etihad again.
 
A few weeks ago I mentioned that I was never going to attend a St Kilda game at Etihad again and there was a reason for that. I put this in another thread but I think it makes more sense here.



Quick word of warning, this post will be long. It will be angsty and it will be very raw. It’s probably going to upset a lot of people but I have some stuff I need to get off my chest. If you do take the time to read it I appreciate that so much but if it sounds like something you don’t want to then skip it. That’s fine.



It starts .... with a confession.



I am in some ways a very toxic human being. I have an actual fear of death and at times it’s a relief because sometimes I hate myself so much it’s the only thing stopping me from taking my own life.



The worst thing about me is my temper. I’ve gone into this before. Check my posting history and you’ll see numerous melts on bay 13, on the general board song contest, on the Werewolf threads (if you don’t know, don’t ask, you don’t want to know).



You’ll see numerous name changes - started as One Eyed Sainter or OES, changed to Melter after a particularly rough period where I lost my sh*t, settled on the one I currently have because it felt slightly more anonymous and I actually had to leave this site for my own sanity but I am getting ahead of myself.



This story starts a few years ago. On a day that we here refer to as Bad Friday. For most here it was the day that resulted in the awful game of football that spelt the beginning of the end for Richo. The day that made us realise that we were in no way on the right track. The day that we all never talk about because of the unspeakable horror we witnessed that day.



Well for me that day was the beginning of something else - the beginning of my intense realisation that not every supporter of the football club was a nice person - some were downright horrible.



I have to go back a bit more. I have a naturally loud voice. I have incredible difficulty keeping the volume of my voice down. At the football this becomes a real problem if people are seated near me.



Anyway in this fateful day a gentleman st kilda supporter sitting in front of me and his daughter (either that or he was a cradle snatching pervert but that’s none of my business *sips tea*) got my goat when the girl turned to me literally about five minutes into the game and asked me to keep my voice down. The thing that upset me the most was it wasn’t swearing or even abusing umpires or anything (which I have been rightly told off for doing in the past) - it was simply barracking. I think I may even have been cheering a good passage of play and probably talking to my wife (more on her later) and giving a play by play of the turn of events.



This upset me. It would upset anyone. I can hear you say “Why is this a big deal?” And the reason is because my f’ed up brain MAKES it a big deal. I go into darkness whenever this sort of things happened. And for the rest of the game I was fighting a losing battle trying to keep my voice down and trying not to lose my temper. This continued throughout the entire first half. I would mutter things like “hmmm better not talk too loud in case I get in trouble” and the like naturally drawing my colleague’s ire with every comment.



Midway through the third term there was a particular moment where I couldn’t contain myself and I actually said something along the lines of “oh, better not say anything in case I upset people”



The old campaigner (probably a nice bloke but to me he’s the catalyst for my hatred of this stadium so unfortunately he wears this for the rest of his life) turned around and said firmly “enough” and that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I immediately got up, said a goodbye to my wife and father and viciously stormed off while snarling something bitter like “yeah it’s enough. I’ve had absolutely enough.”



So what followed was a shameful twenty minutes of me making an absolute scene in public at shitihad stadium. There was loud swearing, punching of the concrete wall in the breezeway and utter loss of my senses with little regard to my surroundings.



I need to stress it is very very hard to talk about this. I know my behaviour was out of line and I know I was reacting in an unnecessary way. I don’t need anyone here to tell me I was in the wrong and the guy or his daughter were quite within their rights to tell me to settle down HOWEVER I will fight to the end of the earth for my right to say that how it started and what it started from irregardless of how poorly I handled it was inherently unfair.



I reiterate there was no swearing or anything. It was simply someone asking me to keep my abnormally loud voice down while supporting.



Now.... I know exactly what you’re thinking. El Duderino, why on earth is this such a big deal? Why can’t you just forget about it and not let it get to you?



And that my friends is where we arrive at the major issue here - that I am f’ed in the head and don’t have the ability to not let sh*t like this affect me. There’s more to it I’m sure but I won’t bore you with the details of my crippling anxiety because frankly the nitty-gritties of that are not particularly pertinent to this story. Not yet anyway.



Anyway that’s the first time this happened. I put it down to a bad day. Bad Friday for me was nothing to do with the game. This day had been ruined for me by a combination of an unfair turn of events and my inability to deal with it. But sadly this was not the last time such an event would take place.





I need to now make a second confession - one that is probably more shameful to people here but is an integral part of the story:



I am a proxy Carlton member. In some ways they are my equal favourite team but really they are my second favourite team. Now a lot of you will be shocked beyond words right now and some of you already know this. Allow me to explain myself.



Being born in 1984, and being largely not interested in football until about 1995, I don’t have the same atrocious history with Carlton and their supporters that some of you have. To me, the only Carlton supporters I ever really knew were my mother and sister and her family who I saw occasionally. It was the Collingwood and Essendon supporters that were the arseholes to me.



As a result Carlton had always been and still are my second favourite team. A concept foreign to a lot of you I’m sure but still it’s fact. I won’t and have never shied away from that.



Why is this important? Because it brings me to the next point I have to make - I go to every Carlton game with my wife who is also a Carlton supporter. The thing is, my lovely wife absolutely loves football. Almost as much as I do. I’m not talking about just the saints. I love the game. I get into it big time. I watch every game that’s on. We don’t watch movies on the weekend. We watch the footy together. That’s just what we do.



One of the best things about going to Carlton games (I know you all just vomited in your mouth) is that I get to go see a lot of games at the MCG - my favourite footy venue by far. There’s something about that walk from the car park to your seat that just feels amazing. Especially for day games. Playing a Saturday or Sunday afternoon at the G. There’s nothing better. As saints fans we may get to experience this two or three times a year (never more than three since 2013) so going eight or nine times a year is something I take advantage of.



So the next St Kilda game I attended after this was the 2018 game against Carlton which amazingly passed without incident.



The following year I attended the first st kilda Carlton game of 2019 - initially we sat in the medallion club and for the second time the St Kilda supporters in front of me turned away and asked me to keep my voice down. I reacted slightly better this time. I remember I accidentally took the bag with me which had my wife’s phone in it so I couldn’t tell her where I had gone. And I refused to go back to my seat. Anyway blah blah blah long story short it was the second time this had happened. It disgruntled me and made me question ever going to another game at Etihad.



The next game I attended there was of course a Carlton game and again I was nervous (just as I had felt attending the Carlton Gold Coast game the day after Bad Friday) about what reaction fans would have around me. It was my birthday and I was extremely anxious about going. I even said to my wife “can I not go. I don’t want to be upset on my birthday” but in the end I just went and it turned out to be the game where Carlton won their first match with Teague in charge.



No event took place that day nor the next two times I attended games which led me to believe maybe I wasn’t the problem. At this point I was just as loud at these games as I had been at Carlton games and as this was approximately the time I came to the realisation that perhaps it was St Kilda supporters that were the problem. Certain supporters. Not as a collective. Three in particular (though the third I haven’t yet mentioned. Stay tuned)



A couple of weeks later we played Brisbane at Etihad - I’m sure you all remember how that turned out. Absolutely destroyed. Cameron kicked five; they kicked nine goals in the third and we didn’t give a Yelp.





Basically this is where I hit rock bottom as a human being. When my wife tried to convince me that I was being silly getting upset about the footy and it was just a game I lost my sh*t (surprise surprise) and ended up walking around the corner lying in the middle of the road completely unaware of anything. A car was coming around the corner fast and I got out of the way just in time. It occurred to me at that point I didn’t care if I lived or died. Which is ridiculous because I had so much to live for. Was football really having such a negative impact on my life?



I decided the safest thing to do was ECO for a few weeks and it kind of worked... for now I would live vicariously through Carlton’s season as they were actually having more success than us at that time. And even when they lost they played exciting football losing two games to the bulldogs and Melbourne that were high scoring thrilling encounters.



A horrible realisation struck me when I attended the Carlton Melbourne game at the G and checked the score at quarter time between st Kilda and north in tassie (we were down seven goals to one) - I didn’t care what happened to St Kilda. Was I suddenly turned into a Carlton supporter?Was I officially over St Kilda? Was I about to be a turncoat flog?



A week later my son hurt his neck and had to go to hospital. As we were waiting for the doctor we watched the Geelong game together and it was a nice moment sharing this love of the same football team. He was getting excited when we were winning which was really cute. He’d never really shown much interest in football up until this point.



Next week as we know Richo got the boot and we won two in a row under Ratts before challenging Adelaide and then beating Freo in a thriller.



So this lead to the game against Carlton at the G. This was a hugely significant game because I felt at the end of the day I’d be happy whatever the result. Obviously I’d be happy if St Kilda won but if we lost, I’d still be happy for my wife that Carlton were finally showing improvement.



Only I wasn’t. I was absolutely devastated at the final siren. I realised at that moment that no matter how much I would be a Carlton supporter when they were playing I was a st Kilda supporter at heart. And any joy or euphoria I felt after Carlton games would be false - it was just short lived and wouldn’t compare to how I felt when we won. Or when we made finals last year. Or won a final. If we ever win a grand final I know that it will an amazing feeling - one I couldn’t possibly describe and that wouldn’t even compare to the false joy I would have at a Carlton premiership (even though I’d be there to soak up the celebrations with my wife)



I had the intention of going to all St Kilda games in 2020 but then Covid hit and we didn’t attend a single game. So instead we move onto 2021 - had the same intention but after just one game I swore right then and there it was third time unlucky for me and I would not return to Etihad to watch the saints. (I will break this rule in round 11 when I go with my mate to see the cripple fight between saints and north - we made this decision in round 3 when both of us suffered enormous defeats)



This was the most ridiculous one of the three and as you’ll shortly find out he was the one with the issue not me. After a particularly good looking kick went to a Melbourne player (as a number of them did)

I called out “good kick” and then upon realising my mistake, hastily tried to correct myself. The look I got from this guy was as though I said idolised Ivan Milat.



I realised in that exact moment three things :

  • I was not going to enjoy this night at all.
  • I needed to shut the fu** up for self preservation.
  • (Some) St kilda supporters are *******s.


At quarter time two people tried to move past him and he didn’t even let them past. The guy trying to get past actually called him out on it saying “yeah alright mate don’t move”

My wife turned to me and said “he’s the problem not you - don’t let him ruin your night”. But she knew that he would - and did.



Oh by the way if you are that supporter and you post here I don’t apologise for saying that - you are a ******* and you will forever be responsible for ruining my experience.



So that’s my (admittedly rather long) story about what happened that night to make me so determined to never attend a st Kilda game at Etihad again.
You shouldn't apologise for s**t. The supporters you encountered sound like campaigners. Pretentious sheltered campaigners.

Having said that. Come to a game here in Perth. Choose your poison. It's either the middle class Chardonnay sipping downhill skiing West Coast *heads who say * all until their team is winning, or the meth ridden lower class wife beating scum at Freo, who regularly embarrass themselves at the basic misunderstanding of the game.

Just utter *******s.
 

LiterallyNobody

Cancelled due to poster being a Campaigner
30k Posts 10k Posts Cake Connoisseur SFA Daffodil Day Fund Raiser Harry Potter Fan Song Contest Winner - 5+ Rounds Shiny Penny
Jul 26, 2006
35,635
32,224
AFL Club
St Kilda
You shouldn't apologise for sh*t. The supporters you encountered sound like campaigners. Pretentious sheltered campaigners.

Having said that. Come to a game here in Perth. Choose your poison. It's either the middle class Chardonnay sipping downhill skiing West Coast fu**heads who say fu** all until their team is winning, or the meth ridden lower class wife beating scum at Freo, who regularly embarrass themselves at the basic misunderstanding of the game.

Just utter *******s.
Thanks for that mate. I appreciate that. And yes I’m dreading when I finally attend a game at Perth. The bucket list has footy games at both venues over the next few years. The missus and I have been looking for a Perth venture for some time.
 
Thanks for that mate. I appreciate that. And yes I’m dreading when I finally attend a game at Perth. The bucket list has footy games at both venues over the next few years. The missus and I have been looking for a Perth venture for some time.


I'm too old to be loud at games any more but me and my mates were often the guys getting told off at games. We were usually too selfish to give a * what people said to us luckily. My mates are Hawks and Tigers mostly so we went to plenty at the G. It's definitely a much more atmospheric stadium and much more accepting of loud fans. Etihad often has no-one in it so everything you say gets highlighted. I hate the mausoleum vibe Docklands has unless it's absolutely packed with fans and then it gets cauldron vibes. We did get kicked out a few times for being drunk and swearing but that was probably fair enough.

You should try getting to a psych, they could definitely help you iron out the anger management so the dickheads don't ruin your enjoyment. We often moved seats when we were getting on peoples radar, it actually works well for all parties. I think I know why we're negative brothers in arms though, I take losses much more internalised but just as painfully. I was a Blues fan when I was little and got converted by my grandfather. My uncle actually played under 19s and reserves at the Blues so we got to meet all their big stars of the 80s when they were a powerhouse club. Luckily they are a pretty s**t side too or I might have really regretted my life choices.

I wonder about my own intelligence following a club that has nothing but a history of failure and getting emotionally effected by losses. My coping strategy is to make myself laugh about it. Take the piss out of myself and the club and get on here and lay a boot into the club for the emotional strain they put me through. You seem to have a similar strategy and I guess in the moment that you start to flood you have to try to come up with a something smart arse to give back. It used to work for us, before we made a cowardly and hasty retreat to empty seats out of ear shot.
 

LiterallyNobody

Cancelled due to poster being a Campaigner
30k Posts 10k Posts Cake Connoisseur SFA Daffodil Day Fund Raiser Harry Potter Fan Song Contest Winner - 5+ Rounds Shiny Penny
Jul 26, 2006
35,635
32,224
AFL Club
St Kilda
I’m seeing a psych. I thought that was mentioned in the post above but maybe not. Been seeing this psych for a decade now and he’s fantastic. Given me heaps to work with. Apart from footy, very little else affects me too much and I’m much more able to cope with day to day stresses. He suggested my depression was more biological and therefore not anything I could really overcome completely and certain things would trigger it. Haven’t had a really dark episode in over six months I think. But I keep seeing him regularly to ensure I’m not getting complacent.
I can’t thank my wife enough. She is incredibly supportive. More supportive than anyone I’ve ever known.
 
I’m seeing a psych. I thought that was mentioned in the post above but maybe not. Been seeing this psych for a decade now and he’s fantastic. Given me heaps to work with. Apart from footy, very little else affects me too much and I’m much more able to cope with day to day stresses. He suggested my depression was more biological and therefore not anything I could really overcome completely and certain things would trigger it. Haven’t had a really dark episode in over six months I think. But I keep seeing him regularly to ensure I’m not getting complacent.
I can’t thank my wife enough. She is incredibly supportive. More supportive than anyone I’ve ever known.


I probably didn't read it properly sorry. I thought I did but it obviously didn't register. Good to hear you have someone to help you through it. Your wife would be the biggest help though, it makes a massive difference having someone around you that gets you and is prepared to help you along with what you're dealing with.

You've got mates on here too if you are dealing with s**t you can't handle. You know where we spend all our time and just jump on the PM. I'm no expert but sometimes you just need to unload the burden.
 

PostmanBish

Club Legend
Sep 6, 2019
1,354
4,820
AFL Club
St Kilda
On the subject of mental health ... any thoughts on an individual supporter being singled out as having "humiliated" the club in the media today?

News-StKildaFanHumiliates.png

We won't go into the fact that they are functionally illiterate, to the point I cannot "bare" to see what other errors they made, but this idea that a single fan humiliates, the club, and (presumably) by association, 50,000+ plus members, is a pretty low bar, considering the legitimate "humiliations" caused to the game by various board members and players in recent years.

I sincerely hope that the lady in question is strong enough to deal with being the target of such mockery, and that no one seeks to target her for making a personal choice while attending a game.
 
Last edited:
With the removal of the COVID talk from this board if anyone isn't feeling right or needs to vent about what we're experiencing right now, feel free to reach out via PM - I know I get into a bit of tit-for-tat with some of you guys about these issues but know it's not a personal thing and am happy to chat to you guys privately if that's what you feel you need. Cheers
 

KingJim

Team Captain
Aug 31, 2011
384
827
Toowoomba
AFL Club
St Kilda
Whether it is mental of physical, I am a bit concerned re our coach. He looks tired, rings around the eyes, red face, a bit breathless. I wonder if there is an issue with alcohol. His eyes were quite watery in last conference. I hope it's nothing, but I fear it's not.
 

oldevo

Draftee
Mar 10, 2020
8
32
AFL Club
St Kilda
Keep up the good work mate!
Thanks to everyone for their kind words and support. You’re a fantastic group of people and your positive contributions do make a difference. Thank you!
Some time back a mate of mine committed suicide by train inHastings it was after his wife of thirty years died of cancer.It made me angry at the time because I thought he had got over his grief.
Last night my darling wife of over forty years died of a stroke she was in her fifties. I am in my seventies, we met at a st Kilda match and have been inseparable since. We worked together in our business we had until I retired to look after her after her first two strokes. Her last stroke came without warning and by the time I got to the hospital she had passed away. I never had chance to tell her I loved her. As low as I feel right now I cannot cry any more. I won’t do as my friend did because I have seen the pain it caused to those he left behind but I can understand his reasoning. So tell your loved ones you love them regularly or you may regret it later
 
Some time back a mate of mine committed suicide by train inHastings it was after his wife of thirty years died of cancer.It made me angry at the time because I thought he had got over his grief.
Last night my darling wife of over forty years died of a stroke she was in her fifties. I am in my seventies, we met at a st Kilda match and have been inseparable since. We worked together in our business we had until I retired to look after her after her first two strokes. Her last stroke came without warning and by the time I got to the hospital she had passed away. I never had chance to tell her I loved her. As low as I feel right now I cannot cry any more. I won’t do as my friend did because I have seen the pain it caused to those he left behind but I can understand his reasoning. So tell your loved ones you love them regularly or you may regret it later


s**t, that's awful. Nothing is going to make you feel better but you will start to find it easier to cope as time goes by. I went to a funeral for a 50 year old yesterday, he left behind a wife and three kids. It feels really unfair that someone so young gets taken away from their loved ones. I could see the pain and shock left behind in his family. It must be hard to go through.

Last year I lost a cousin who was only 52 and my mother in law in quick succession. It must be next level distressing when it's someone so close that is such a huge part of your life for so long.

I don't want to sound like a busy body or stick my nose in but finding something to put your energy into that takes your time up can give you a bit of something to feel good about might help. Volunteering in something that you wife loved or something to do with supporting stroke families or something could be a really nice way to honour her memory and give you a focus outside your grief.

If you find yourself feeling like you're going down a spiral get on to beyond blue or lifeline. They are great services and are there for exactly what you're going through.
 
Apr 24, 2014
2,516
8,068
AFL Club
St Kilda
Some time back a mate of mine committed suicide by train inHastings it was after his wife of thirty years died of cancer.It made me angry at the time because I thought he had got over his grief.
Last night my darling wife of over forty years died of a stroke she was in her fifties. I am in my seventies, we met at a st Kilda match and have been inseparable since. We worked together in our business we had until I retired to look after her after her first two strokes. Her last stroke came without warning and by the time I got to the hospital she had passed away. I never had chance to tell her I loved her. As low as I feel right now I cannot cry any more. I won’t do as my friend did because I have seen the pain it caused to those he left behind but I can understand his reasoning. So tell your loved ones you love them regularly or you may regret it later
Hang in there. You've got a bunch of friends here anytime you need some support.
 

oldevo

Draftee
Mar 10, 2020
8
32
AFL Club
St Kilda
Hang in there. You've got a bunch of friends here anytime you need some support.
Thanks for that guys. I don’t go to the pub and have been renovating our Victorian house so have made few friends. My son and daughter live in melb, I live in a far western vic town so it’s going to get a bit lonely I guess.
Thanks again for your support, it means a lot.
 
Thanks for that guys. I don’t go to the pub and have been renovating our Victorian house so have made few friends. My son and daughter live in melb, I live in a far western vic town so it’s going to get a bit lonely I guess.
Thanks again for your support, it means a lot.

you might want to think about joining a club. Eg Local footy, Men's shed etc it helps the loneliness.
If nit now , in the future.
 
Well , foe me this is some week. My partner is in hospital with pneumonia. He didn't answer his phone all day yesterday and I got worried. He went by ambulance last night to the hospital. I haven't been well this week. Next Tuesday I have mediation about my father's estate. It's been an ongoing issue for now over 4 years and finally the executor has agreed to mediation. Aling with solicitors and a barrister, My partner was going to come to support me and my brother. Out of a 2 million dollar estate my father left us with nothing. With the whole lot going to the executor.
 
Well , foe me this is some week. My partner is in hospital with pneumonia. He didn't answer his phone all day yesterday and I got worried. He went by ambulance last night to the hospital. I haven't been well this week. Next Tuesday I have mediation about my father's estate. It's been an ongoing issue for now over 4 years and finally the executor has agreed to mediation. Aling with solicitors and a barrister, My partner was going to come to support me and my brother. Out of a 2 million dollar estate my father left us with nothing. With the whole lot going to the executor.


That sounds like a nightmare Sammm. My old man caught viral pneumonia a couple of weeks back. I didn't even know it was a thing so you might want to make sure you haven't caught that. I hope your partner is okay and pulls up well. It's a shame he can't be with you, that sounds like a stressful time that having partner with you would be good for.
 
That sounds like a nightmare Sammm. My old man caught viral pneumonia a couple of weeks back. I didn't even know it was a thing so you might want to make sure you haven't caught that. I hope your partner is okay and pulls up well. It's a shame he can't be with you, that sounds like a stressful time that having partner with you would be good for.
Thanks for your thoughts. I feel a bit better then I did yesterday.
 
Hows things going sammm

Hopefully things are better than last nov.
Hows things going sammm

Hopefully things are better than last nov.
PoppedCorn , thanks for asking. It took a while, but i am doing much bette mentally.

My partner was in hospital for a week. But he is doing better as well
I went and had an MRI and hand xray this week. I'll have to see the doc for answers.

Mediation occured not much resolution as yet, we wait and see what the other side does and if they do what was agreed to get to the next stage
 

RBW_007

Club Legend
Jan 28, 2009
1,880
1,638
Perth
AFL Club
St Kilda
Other Teams
Indianapolis Colts
I am posting here for family of people who are suffering mentally. Mostly I am posting as a father of a 14 year old boy.

Today my son was rushed to hospital upon him telling us he had taken 60+ tablets of Panamax (paracetamol). It's possible it was more than 90.

He is currently there with my wife while I'm at home with my daughter. Fortunately it hasn't been in his system a long time and he should be fine but its still early and I'm terrified of what's to come.

My son is very reserved and not very forthcoming with what's going on in his life. I often try to get him to open up but it's very difficult to get more than one word answers out of him. I regularly ask him if he is going alright before dropping him off to school and his answer is always "Yeah I'm good".

My family has a history of anxiety and depression and I knew my son had some level of anxiety issues. Despite this I never would have seen him doing something like this. We often get distracted in our lives that things like this aren't recognised until it's too late.

I am posting this for any parents or siblings of young adults. Watch out for the signs that may indicate something bigger is going on in their lives. If they are withdrawn, quiet, dour, easily agitated or behaving in a way that is irregular or cause for concern then seek out whatever help or assistance you can get. Talk to them. Tell them you'll love them no matter what and that you'll always be there for them.
 
Apr 24, 2014
2,516
8,068
AFL Club
St Kilda
I am posting here for family of people who are suffering mentally. Mostly I am posting as a father of a 14 year old boy.

Today my son was rushed to hospital upon him telling us he had taken 60+ tablets of Panamax (paracetamol). It's possible it was more than 90.

He is currently there with my wife while I'm at home with my daughter. Fortunately it hasn't been in his system a long time and he should be fine but its still early and I'm terrified of what's to come.

My son is very reserved and not very forthcoming with what's going on in his life. I often try to get him to open up but it's very difficult to get more than one word answers out of him. I regularly ask him if he is going alright before dropping him off to school and his answer is always "Yeah I'm good".

My family has a history of anxiety and depression and I knew my son had some level of anxiety issues. Despite this I never would have seen him doing something like this. We often get distracted in our lives that things like this aren't recognised until it's too late.

I am posting this for any parents or siblings of young adults. Watch out for the signs that may indicate something bigger is going on in their lives. If they are withdrawn, quiet, dour, easily agitated or behaving in a way that is irregular or cause for concern then seek out whatever help or assistance you can get. Talk to them. Tell them you'll love them no matter what and that you'll always be there for them.
Good luck RBW. It must be an incredibly difficult time for you and your family. I hope you all come out the other side ok.
 
I am posting here for family of people who are suffering mentally. Mostly I am posting as a father of a 14 year old boy.

Today my son was rushed to hospital upon him telling us he had taken 60+ tablets of Panamax (paracetamol). It's possible it was more than 90.

He is currently there with my wife while I'm at home with my daughter. Fortunately it hasn't been in his system a long time and he should be fine but its still early and I'm terrified of what's to come.

My son is very reserved and not very forthcoming with what's going on in his life. I often try to get him to open up but it's very difficult to get more than one word answers out of him. I regularly ask him if he is going alright before dropping him off to school and his answer is always "Yeah I'm good".

My family has a history of anxiety and depression and I knew my son had some level of anxiety issues. Despite this I never would have seen him doing something like this. We often get distracted in our lives that things like this aren't recognised until it's too late.

I am posting this for any parents or siblings of young adults. Watch out for the signs that may indicate something bigger is going on in their lives. If they are withdrawn, quiet, dour, easily agitated or behaving in a way that is irregular or cause for concern then seek out whatever help or assistance you can get. Talk to them. Tell them you'll love them no matter what and that you'll always be there for them.


s**t, that's rough RWB. It's a tough time for kids these days. So much pressure to achieve academically, in sport and with socials even in your spare time.

I think the stress of bringing up kids is about the most pressure you'll experience in life. Those kinds of events would be nightmarish to process and deal with. Look after yourselves too.
 

RBW_007

Club Legend
Jan 28, 2009
1,880
1,638
Perth
AFL Club
St Kilda
Other Teams
Indianapolis Colts
Good luck RBW. It must be an incredibly difficult time for you and your family. I hope you all come out the other side ok.

s**t, that's rough RWB. It's a tough time for kids these days. So much pressure to achieve academically, in sport and with socials even in your spare time.

I think the stress of bringing up kids is about the most pressure you'll experience in life. Those kinds of events would be nightmarish to process and deal with. Look after yourselves too.
Thanks guys.

Just a quick update.

My son has been given the all clear physically. He has stated he regrets what he did. The stresses of school and possibly bullying seem to be the cause.

He did just go through a break up with his first ever girlfriend and the possibility of her spreading stuff about him has crossed my mind. It's ironic because when he told me he had a girlfriend I tried to give him as much advice as I could. I even told him that if they were to break up its important to not bad mouth them afterwards and not share information that's private between the two of them.

I'm so mad that I want to go full on investigation mode and find everyone responsible for making him feel how he did. But I know I can't. At least not until my son is in a better place.

Hopefully my sharing this has made people more aware of how this could happen right under your nose. If it seems like your child is withdrawn or holding back there may be something more serious going on under the surface. I was lucky but there's lot of parents out there that aren't.
 
Back