Discussion Struggling with Mental Health (Call Beyond Blue (1300 224 636), Lifeline (131 114))

Bit out of topic. Just want to bring up the Jack Steven thing.

I was genuinely pissed at Geelong. I didnt appreciate how they highlighted the main issue behind Jack Steven's value was his mental issues rather than valuing his playing abilities.

Our club was brilliant with how they dealt this.

My point is dont let anyone, undermine your value as a person or worker due to the fact you're facing mental issues. We all experience it in some form, and it's ok, to not be ok but it's not ok to let that influence how others view you.

I don't want this to turn into us arguing over the trade. Keep that in the trade section.

If you know anyones who's going through similar problem, like Jack. Speak up, or be there for them. It's hard when you're viewed different because of mental health.

Thank you.
 
Jun 5, 2007
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He's a good kid (at 29) but yeah as a Cats supporter I thought the business side took over from the main issue a bit. But then who knows what goes on behind the wall? Maybe this was all on the table last year and the Saints wouldn't budge? Just speculating mind you. Overall I think Wells is pretty decent.
 

St Muir

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He's a good kid (at 29) but yeah as a Cats supporter I thought the business side took over from the main issue a bit. But then who knows what goes on behind the wall? Maybe this was all on the table last year and the Saints wouldn't budge? Just speculating mind you. Overall I think Wells is pretty decent.
Trying to find positives from the whole thing was really difficult in my opinion. Let’s face it the whole trade and draft thing is quite dehumanising, as is elite sport when you think of it.
A lot of the comments made were ignorant and reflect poorly on the people making them and I kept hoping the trade would just get done, so everyone would just shut up. Part of being human is speculating on stuff we don’t know though. It only gets polarising when people get emotionally attached to their speculation, despite new facts being presented to them.
The positive I can see from all this is that at least mental health is being taken seriously and being talked about openly.
 
Jun 5, 2007
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Confirmation bias is rife here. I think many people just put something out there in the hope they can say later "I told you so" or "just you wait it WILL happen" despite, as you say, overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

Jack and a few others raise the profile of MH issues, but we are daily shown dickheads who use it as a fallback excuse when they screw up. So even I get cynical at times.
 
I just want to write something that never seems to get spoken about . A lot of people talk about how they saw someone the day before they committed suicide and they seemed fine . We heard that a bit with Danny Frawley. I think i will talk about my issues I’m going through at the moment so those who have never been in this situation might understand it better .

I feel , in a strange way , like I have a split personality. On the one hand I’m talking about next seasons footy , or a tv show I’m looking forward to . Yet , in the next breath I might be thinking about ending my life . Its a strange feeling because I’m not lying when I talk about how excited I am about the Saints going forward and how I can’t wait to see big Max destroy other teams . I do think that but at other times it’s all despair. Its very hard to explain depression to someone who hasn’t experienced it before . No , it’s not like that time your girlfriend dumped you and you were sad for a couple of weeks . Depression never leaves you . You might learn to cope with it better but you never know how you are going to feel when you wake up the next day .

When i first went to a shrink and he put me on anti depressants I asked how long would I need to take them , he replied for the rest of my life . That was a total shock to me , until then I thought they could cure you by putting you on meds for a month or so like other illnesses. My shrink also told me if I start feeling better to keep taking the tablets because it might only be the tablets making me feel better . Basically, depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain . That’s why it can hit anybody . That’s why rich famous people like the comedian Robin Williams killed himself , because he had depression.

I’m getting off track here .

So every day in my head there is a constant battle going on whether I should end my life or not . I know all the reasons why I shouldn’t but also all the reasons why I should . I assume other people suffering from depression face these battles all the time too .
I so want to not have depression, I wouldn’t wish it on my worse enemy. At times I can feel good and be planning for the future but then suddenly I feel one decision away from being dead . Its very hard to explain . I am taking a risk talking about it on here as I don’t want people to treat me any different than they do already . If I have a disagreement with someone on here and by bad luck die soon after it’s not that persons fault . Something like an argument on here is nowhere near enough to be the reason why I would end my life . But the problem is , should I stop engaging with people just in case I might not make it , or do I back myself to get through my problems like others have before me .

I should stop now as I’m getting emotional.


On iPad using BigFooty.com mobile app
 

St Muir

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Oct 18, 2018
797
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I just want to write something that never seems to get spoken about . A lot of people talk about how they saw someone the day before they committed suicide and they seemed fine . We heard that a bit with Danny Frawley. I think i will talk about my issues I’m going through at the moment so those who have never been in this situation might understand it better .

I feel , in a strange way , like I have a split personality. On the one hand I’m talking about next seasons footy , or a tv show I’m looking forward to . Yet , in the next breath I might be thinking about ending my life . Its a strange feeling because I’m not lying when I talk about how excited I am about the Saints going forward and how I can’t wait to see big Max destroy other teams . I do think that but at other times it’s all despair. Its very hard to explain depression to someone who hasn’t experienced it before . No , it’s not like that time your girlfriend dumped you and you were sad for a couple of weeks . Depression never leaves you . You might learn to cope with it better but you never know how you are going to feel when you wake up the next day .

When i first went to a shrink and he put me on anti depressants I asked how long would I need to take them , he replied for the rest of my life . That was a total shock to me , until then I thought they could cure you by putting you on meds for a month or so like other illnesses. My shrink also told me if I start feeling better to keep taking the tablets because it might only be the tablets making me feel better . Basically, depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain . That’s why it can hit anybody . That’s why rich famous people like the comedian Robin Williams killed himself , because he had depression.

I’m getting off track here .

So every day in my head there is a constant battle going on whether I should end my life or not . I know all the reasons why I shouldn’t but also all the reasons why I should . I assume other people suffering from depression face these battles all the time too .
I so want to not have depression, I wouldn’t wish it on my worse enemy. At times I can feel good and be planning for the future but then suddenly I feel one decision away from being dead . Its very hard to explain . I am taking a risk talking about it on here as I don’t want people to treat me any different than they do already . If I have a disagreement with someone on here and by bad luck die soon after it’s not that persons fault . Something like an argument on here is nowhere near enough to be the reason why I would end my life . But the problem is , should I stop engaging with people just in case I might not make it , or do I back myself to get through my problems like others have before me .

I should stop now as I’m getting emotional.


On iPad using BigFooty.com mobile app
Back yourself mate. At the end of the day that’s all that counts. Whether we succeed or fail to meet others expectations is something we have no control over. The person looking back in the mirror is the one that counts.
Having said that, your accounts of depression are vivid, courageous and very insightful. You have been and continue to be an inspiration for me.
 
Jun 5, 2007
10,175
15,225
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My partner (as above) has had severe depression for years and it is a daily fight. She has had a shrink and the meds for 30+ years but started going to a psych this year who gave her strategies. Not surprisingly much the same as I had been telling her to try. That's not the point, which is that an objective view is incredibly helpful at times when you are down. She is now on the way up after being suicidal for months earlier this year.

But there is another point and that is I think we are all here for some reason otherwise what is it all about? Many of us have not found it yet, but we also do not fight the chemicals fighting our brains like yours are and that is debilitating and exhausting.

On here many of us get it whilst we may not have it. However I think the mental health "space" is about to change for the good.

Hang tough mate. PM anyone on here whenever you need.
 

theprospect

Club Legend
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Sep 26, 2016
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I just want to write something that never seems to get spoken about . A lot of people talk about how they saw someone the day before they committed suicide and they seemed fine . We heard that a bit with Danny Frawley. I think i will talk about my issues I’m going through at the moment so those who have never been in this situation might understand it better .

I feel , in a strange way , like I have a split personality. On the one hand I’m talking about next seasons footy , or a tv show I’m looking forward to . Yet , in the next breath I might be thinking about ending my life . Its a strange feeling because I’m not lying when I talk about how excited I am about the Saints going forward and how I can’t wait to see big Max destroy other teams . I do think that but at other times it’s all despair. Its very hard to explain depression to someone who hasn’t experienced it before . No , it’s not like that time your girlfriend dumped you and you were sad for a couple of weeks . Depression never leaves you . You might learn to cope with it better but you never know how you are going to feel when you wake up the next day .

When i first went to a shrink and he put me on anti depressants I asked how long would I need to take them , he replied for the rest of my life . That was a total shock to me , until then I thought they could cure you by putting you on meds for a month or so like other illnesses. My shrink also told me if I start feeling better to keep taking the tablets because it might only be the tablets making me feel better . Basically, depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain . That’s why it can hit anybody . That’s why rich famous people like the comedian Robin Williams killed himself , because he had depression.

I’m getting off track here .

So every day in my head there is a constant battle going on whether I should end my life or not . I know all the reasons why I shouldn’t but also all the reasons why I should . I assume other people suffering from depression face these battles all the time too .
I so want to not have depression, I wouldn’t wish it on my worse enemy. At times I can feel good and be planning for the future but then suddenly I feel one decision away from being dead . Its very hard to explain . I am taking a risk talking about it on here as I don’t want people to treat me any different than they do already . If I have a disagreement with someone on here and by bad luck die soon after it’s not that persons fault . Something like an argument on here is nowhere near enough to be the reason why I would end my life . But the problem is , should I stop engaging with people just in case I might not make it , or do I back myself to get through my problems like others have before me .

I should stop now as I’m getting emotional.


On iPad using BigFooty.com mobile app
I very much feel the same in a lot of ways. I have days where I feel great, and others for no reason that I can explain where I just don't want to get out of bed, let alone go to work in a high pressure environment for the whole day 5 times a week. I've had troubles with my mental health since I finished high school but never learnt how to deal with it, and sure as hell didn't feel comfortable enough to talk about it. Even posting on here I would often write something and then delete it before posting, because it's so easy to get anxious worrying about what people might think of you, or that they don't care.

More recently because of work I've found myself to be tired a lot of the time, and unmotivated to do anything. It's a lot of pressure and just feel out of my depth and undeserving of the fortunate position I'm in at work with a lot of opportunity. It's great to have but I just don't feel like I belong. I've not properly caught up with some of my closest friends in months, only the occasional messages here and there. I also get really anxious at times when there are parties or we're going out for drinks somewhere, there have even been occasions where I have skipped it completely or only gone for a very short amount of time, and I can't explain why.

A family member has been pretty ill of late and I've also been dealing with the decline in health of my dog, who's getting very old and fragile. It's hard to see them like that when they've been such a massive part of your life for the last 15 years and is constantly on my mind from the minute I wake up to when I go to sleep.

I haven't ever seriously considered doing anything stupid nor do I want to, but every once in a while there's that thought in the back of my mind that maybe everyone would be better off with me not around and things would just be easier. It's just impossible to explain.

I wouldn't wish for anyone to have any sort of mental health issues, the reality is that so many do but find it difficult to talk about. I know exactly what it's like. I take solace in the fact that I can confide here, with all these great people and St Kilda diehards, even though I don't know any of you. It's a great outlet and you're all great for taking the time to read and respond.
 

St Muir

All Australian
Oct 18, 2018
797
3,128
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St Kilda
I very much feel the same in a lot of ways. I have days where I feel great, and others for no reason that I can explain where I just don't want to get out of bed, let alone go to work in a high pressure environment for the whole day 5 times a week. I've had troubles with my mental health since I finished high school but never learnt how to deal with it, and sure as hell didn't feel comfortable enough to talk about it. Even posting on here I would often write something and then delete it before posting, because it's so easy to get anxious worrying about what people might think of you, or that they don't care.

More recently because of work I've found myself to be tired a lot of the time, and unmotivated to do anything. It's a lot of pressure and just feel out of my depth and undeserving of the fortunate position I'm in at work with a lot of opportunity. It's great to have but I just don't feel like I belong. I've not properly caught up with some of my closest friends in months, only the occasional messages here and there. I also get really anxious at times when there are parties or we're going out for drinks somewhere, there have even been occasions where I have skipped it completely or only gone for a very short amount of time, and I can't explain why.

A family member has been pretty ill of late and I've also been dealing with the decline in health of my dog, who's getting very old and fragile. It's hard to see them like that when they've been such a massive part of your life for the last 15 years and is constantly on my mind from the minute I wake up to when I go to sleep.

I haven't ever seriously considered doing anything stupid nor do I want to, but every once in a while there's that thought in the back of my mind that maybe everyone would be better off with me not around and things would just be easier. It's just impossible to explain.

I wouldn't wish for anyone to have any sort of mental health issues, the reality is that so many do but find it difficult to talk about. I know exactly what it's like. I take solace in the fact that I can confide here, with all these great people and St Kilda diehards, even though I don't know any of you. It's a great outlet and you're all great for taking the time to read and respond.
Great post mate. I could really relate to the anxiety about work and that draining of confidence. I was lucky that my employers were so understanding and gave me time to get back into my stride. There were days when I’d be absolutely floored by the simplest problem that I would over think and turn it into a complex mess that couldn’t be resolved.
Death of anything became traumatic, which was more understandable given my circumstances. I’d go for these long walks in the bush (and still do) as I found they were brilliant for relieving anxiety. I found if I didn’t lose energy to anxiety, then the depression wasn’t as strong. Anyway, the downside of that was I would often see dead wallabies on the road on my way in. It would devastate me. I would feel like life was completely futile.
Reading these stories of people’s lives is an absolute privilege. We’ve literally been, and continue to be in many cases, literally fighting for our lives. Make no mistake, this thing is a killer. It takes great courage to admit there’s a problem and even greater courage to take it on.
 
I very much feel the same in a lot of ways. I have days where I feel great, and others for no reason that I can explain where I just don't want to get out of bed, let alone go to work in a high pressure environment for the whole day 5 times a week. I've had troubles with my mental health since I finished high school but never learnt how to deal with it, and sure as hell didn't feel comfortable enough to talk about it. Even posting on here I would often write something and then delete it before posting, because it's so easy to get anxious worrying about what people might think of you, or that they don't care.

More recently because of work I've found myself to be tired a lot of the time, and unmotivated to do anything. It's a lot of pressure and just feel out of my depth and undeserving of the fortunate position I'm in at work with a lot of opportunity. It's great to have but I just don't feel like I belong. I've not properly caught up with some of my closest friends in months, only the occasional messages here and there. I also get really anxious at times when there are parties or we're going out for drinks somewhere, there have even been occasions where I have skipped it completely or only gone for a very short amount of time, and I can't explain why.

A family member has been pretty ill of late and I've also been dealing with the decline in health of my dog, who's getting very old and fragile. It's hard to see them like that when they've been such a massive part of your life for the last 15 years and is constantly on my mind from the minute I wake up to when I go to sleep.

I haven't ever seriously considered doing anything stupid nor do I want to, but every once in a while there's that thought in the back of my mind that maybe everyone would be better off with me not around and things would just be easier. It's just impossible to explain.

I wouldn't wish for anyone to have any sort of mental health issues, the reality is that so many do but find it difficult to talk about. I know exactly what it's like. I take solace in the fact that I can confide here, with all these great people and St Kilda diehards, even though I don't know any of you. It's a great outlet and you're all great for taking the time to read and respond.
As hard as it is for people like us we have to bands together with the people that are on this thread and help each other . Its nice to see some friendly faces offering support too . i know its hard to write about and almost impossible to explain but just keep trying to hang in there like im trying to do . if you need to talk contact me or any of those offering support on here like St Muir and Kegs for example . I certainly will reach out to them if i feel the need. They are being very supportfull which is something we need .
 

St Muir

All Australian
Oct 18, 2018
797
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St Kilda
My partner (as above) has had severe depression for years and it is a daily fight. She has had a shrink and the meds for 30+ years but started going to a psych this year who gave her strategies. Not surprisingly much the same as I had been telling her to try. That's not the point, which is that an objective view is incredibly helpful at times when you are down. She is now on the way up after being suicidal for months earlier this year.

But there is another point and that is I think we are all here for some reason otherwise what is it all about? Many of us have not found it yet, but we also do not fight the chemicals fighting our brains like yours are and that is debilitating and exhausting.

On here many of us get it whilst we may not have it. However I think the mental health "space" is about to change for the good.

Hang tough mate. PM anyone on here whenever you need.
That's great news about your wife mate. Please pass on my congratulations to her for the effort she's putting in to get on top of this. It's brilliant to hear she's getting some success for the work she's putting in.
 
Jun 5, 2007
10,175
15,225
AFL Club
Geelong
As hard as it is for people like us we have to bands together with the people that are on this thread and help each other . Its nice to see some friendly faces offering support too . i know its hard to write about and almost impossible to explain but just keep trying to hang in there like im trying to do . if you need to talk contact me or any of those offering support on here like St Muir and Kegs for example . I certainly will reach out to them if i feel the need. They are being very supportfull which is something we need .
Add me to the list
 
Jun 5, 2007
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People I might bow out of this Saints thread unless you want you tag me back in or PM at anytime.

I will leave with the fact that I grew up off Jaser Rd in Bentleigh and used to walk to the Moorabbin games regularly, so I'm rapt it is being used again. I used to stand in the Snake Pit. The worst language I have ever heard at the footy came from a tiny old woman with an umbrella and raincoat who stood there each game with her 200kg+ son. Enough to make the ears bleed.

I also used to hang out with Russell Greene back in the day and a few of the lads, and they were pretty interesting days! In short the Saints are a real soft spot for me and I hope you get up the ladder soon. One of the great recent finals was 2009, and you were so stiff. But it will come again, you have recruited well and who knows?
 

St Muir

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Oct 18, 2018
797
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People I might bow out of this Saints thread unless you want you tag me back in or PM at anytime.

I will leave with the fact that I grew up off Jaser Rd in Bentleigh and used to walk to the Moorabbin games regularly, so I'm rapt it is being used again. I used to stand in the Snake Pit. The worst language I have ever heard at the footy came from a tiny old woman with an umbrella and raincoat who stood there each game with her 200kg+ son. Enough to make the ears bleed.

I also used to hang out with Russell Greene back in the day and a few of the lads, and they were pretty interesting days! In short the Saints are a real soft spot for me and I hope you get up the ladder soon. One of the great recent finals was 2009, and you were so stiff. But it will come again, you have recruited well and who knows?
Thanks for contributing mate. I hope all is well and there’s no negative reasons for your decision.
I’d rather you hadn’t mentioned my mum in your post though...
 
Apr 24, 2014
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I just want to say thanks to everyone who has contributed to this thread. I hope you are all finding a way through whatever you are dealing with.
As has been mentioned here one of the difficult things is getting people who haven't experienced mental health issues to understand what you're going through at any time and how it can change from day to day.
I find a lot of comfort in hearing other people's stories. I'm fortunate that I've got to a place where, although I still struggle at times, my routine keeps me level enough to be able to get through any dark moments and keep getting to work and seeing my psych every couple of weeks.
I've got enormous respect for everyone who has chosen to share their story here. Good luck to all.
 
I very much feel the same in a lot of ways. I have days where I feel great, and others for no reason that I can explain where I just don't want to get out of bed, let alone go to work in a high pressure environment for the whole day 5 times a week. I've had troubles with my mental health since I finished high school but never learnt how to deal with it, and sure as hell didn't feel comfortable enough to talk about it. Even posting on here I would often write something and then delete it before posting, because it's so easy to get anxious worrying about what people might think of you, or that they don't care.

More recently because of work I've found myself to be tired a lot of the time, and unmotivated to do anything. It's a lot of pressure and just feel out of my depth and undeserving of the fortunate position I'm in at work with a lot of opportunity. It's great to have but I just don't feel like I belong. I've not properly caught up with some of my closest friends in months, only the occasional messages here and there. I also get really anxious at times when there are parties or we're going out for drinks somewhere, there have even been occasions where I have skipped it completely or only gone for a very short amount of time, and I can't explain why.

A family member has been pretty ill of late and I've also been dealing with the decline in health of my dog, who's getting very old and fragile. It's hard to see them like that when they've been such a massive part of your life for the last 15 years and is constantly on my mind from the minute I wake up to when I go to sleep.

I haven't ever seriously considered doing anything stupid nor do I want to, but every once in a while there's that thought in the back of my mind that maybe everyone would be better off with me not around and things would just be easier. It's just impossible to explain.

I wouldn't wish for anyone to have any sort of mental health issues, the reality is that so many do but find it difficult to talk about. I know exactly what it's like. I take solace in the fact that I can confide here, with all these great people and St Kilda diehards, even though I don't know any of you. It's a great outlet and you're all great for taking the time to read and respond.


Imposter syndrome is one of the most common human conditions. I'm in my 40s and know a heap of people my age with really high level jobs and nearly everyone of them has said they feel like someone is going to find out that they don't belong. My wife was a lawyer and a few times we went to events with politicians and corporates and she completely shat herself and thought she was going to be uncovered as a fake. A mate works for an energy company high up in management and he was saying the other day that when people come in to his office quickly he gets flushed with anxiety that it's someone coming to fire him for not being the type of person that should be doing his job. He's been there for years.

It sounds like some kind of social anxiety you are getting. It might be worth getting a mental health plan from a GP, they can give you some counselling sessions free and it's often the sort of thing you can get on top of. You don't want to live with it, it's better to get in early and break patterns of behaviour. Often things like social anxiety are actually a coping mechanism that isn't very functional. Coming up with a new one can be a massive help.

People say online stuff is socially isolating but it can also be a real connected world for people who are feeling down or alone. It's really good that some of you can get on here and talk about it. It de-stigmatises it.
 
This is worth listening to. It's predominantly about psychedelic drugs and brain function but does cover depression and mental health. It goes for half an hour but really worth listening to in my opinion. https://radio.abc.net.au/programitem/pgr7azLDWG


I have heard about it, it's quite interesting to think that psychedelics are good for recalibrating. It seems counterintuitive.
 

St Muir

All Australian
Oct 18, 2018
797
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I have heard about it, it's quite interesting to think that psychedelics are good for recalibrating. It seems counterintuitive.
It is actually harmful for schizophrenia where that part of the brain that controls the personality/ego/self is weak or faulty. It controls or try’s to control who we think we are. If you think of it as a paradigm, then depression/anxiety sit at the other end, where it is trying to control everything and becomes increasingly frantic and over active, trying to control the uncontrollable. So rather than recognising ourselves as part of the whole, it attempts to separate from the whole to cope.
It makes a lot of sense that mental illness is so prevalent in our society now. Very complex, strong individual focus, yet seemingly very limited in influence on the world around us.
 
Jun 5, 2007
10,175
15,225
AFL Club
Geelong
Imposter syndrome is one of the most common human conditions. I'm in my 40s and know a heap of people my age with really high level jobs and nearly everyone of them has said they feel like someone is going to find out that they don't belong. My wife was a lawyer and a few times we went to events with politicians and corporates and she completely shat herself and thought she was going to be uncovered as a fake. A mate works for an energy company high up in management and he was saying the other day that when people come in to his office quickly he gets flushed with anxiety that it's someone coming to fire him for not being the type of person that should be doing his job. He's been there for years.

It sounds like some kind of social anxiety you are getting. It might be worth getting a mental health plan from a GP, they can give you some counselling sessions free and it's often the sort of thing you can get on top of. You don't want to live with it, it's better to get in early and break patterns of behaviour. Often things like social anxiety are actually a coping mechanism that isn't very functional. Coming up with a new one can be a massive help.

People say online stuff is socially isolating but it can also be a real connected world for people who are feeling down or alone. It's really good that some of you can get on here and talk about it. It de-stigmatises it.
I'm on my third CEO gig, nearly 100 staff and I still think I'm not really up to it and someone will find that out soon. This despite the business booming. Luckily I can now shut this stupid self talk down pretty quickly and get on with it. Maybe in my case it is simply a self regulating mechanism, but back a few years it was horrible. It is quite amazing what the brain, whether chemically or just via thoughts, can build up or undo.
 
I very much feel the same in a lot of ways. I have days where I feel great, and others for no reason that I can explain where I just don't want to get out of bed, let alone go to work in a high pressure environment for the whole day 5 times a week. I've had troubles with my mental health since I finished high school but never learnt how to deal with it, and sure as hell didn't feel comfortable enough to talk about it. Even posting on here I would often write something and then delete it before posting, because it's so easy to get anxious worrying about what people might think of you, or that they don't care.

Sounds a lot like me.
I been a worrier for most of my life. My grade prep teacher in 97 said I'd give my self stomach ulcers from worrying so much.

It's hard at my workplace to not worry about performance. Once a week they put everyone's efficiency on a whiteboard and recently as part of adopting some stupid industry 4.0 crap they now have all the machines monitored in real time with a big flat screen showing all the machines in the factory.
A couple of years ago I burned myself out doing overtime non stop for 6 months. It's hard to say no to it because of the extra money.

There are days I really just couldn't be arsed and have wanted to walk out the door. Combine that with the occasional pain from when a bit of weld spatter hits my arm* there are days I've felt like bursting in tears.

*It bloody hurts and amazingly gets you in some strange spots.

And bosses worry about all the wrong stuff at my workplace. Take I came out of the toilet and went to my locker and checked the messages in my phone and the boss saw me and went and had a sook to the my supervisor about it. Petty stuff considering half the problems in the place that could be fixed.
 
Sounds a lot like me.
I been a worrier for most of my life. My grade prep teacher in 97 said I'd give my self stomach ulcers from worrying so much.

It's hard at my workplace to not worry about performance. Once a week they put everyone's efficiency on a whiteboard and recently as part of adopting some stupid industry 4.0 crap they now have all the machines monitored in real time with a big flat screen showing all the machines in the factory.
A couple of years ago I burned myself out doing overtime non stop for 6 months. It's hard to say no to it because of the extra money.

There are days I really just couldn't be arsed and have wanted to walk out the door. Combine that with the occasional pain from when a bit of weld spatter hits my arm* there are days I've felt like bursting in tears.

*It bloody hurts and amazingly gets you in some strange spots.

And bosses worry about all the wrong stuff at my workplace. Take I came out of the toilet and went to my locker and checked the messages in my phone and the boss saw me and went and had a sook to the my supervisor about it. Petty stuff considering half the problems in the place that could be fixed.


Yeah, it's taken footy 150 years to work out that you get better performance from a happy playing squad. Industry should try to catch up. It's been shown that happy workers are more productive over and over but no-one seems to implement it.

Funny enough Google was the poster child for relaxed informal workers doing things without management watching what they do for years. My mate who works for them said they have changed to hot desk set ups and have put in a new management who are hyper critical of everything they do so that they work harder. He's looking around for the first time in about 10 years. They gave him a negative performance review that he thought was totally unfair so went back to them and they ended up agreeing it was undeserved but admitted that they wanted to "motivate" him.
 
Yeah, it's taken footy 150 years to work out that you get better performance from a happy playing squad. Industry should try to catch up. It's been shown that happy workers are more productive over and over but no-one seems to implement it.

Funny enough Google was the poster child for relaxed informal workers doing things without management watching what they do for years. My mate who works for them said they have changed to hot desk set ups and have put in a new management who are hyper critical of everything they do so that they work harder. He's looking around for the first time in about 10 years. They gave him a negative performance review that he thought was totally unfair so went back to them and they ended up agreeing it was undeserved but admitted that they wanted to "motivate" him.
It costs money. Companies just don't want to spend the initial cost despite it making money long term.
 
I'm on my third CEO gig, nearly 100 staff and I still think I'm not really up to it and someone will find that out soon. This despite the business booming. Luckily I can now shut this stupid self talk down pretty quickly and get on with it. Maybe in my case it is simply a self regulating mechanism, but back a few years it was horrible. It is quite amazing what the brain, whether chemically or just via thoughts, can build up or undo.


i try very hard to turn my brain off . i have been working in the same organisation for over 30 years (doing different things) and still i think i am not good enough. I am wired like this. i hate it.
 
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