Suicide

[Sainteric]

Being in HR, a lot of people at work come to me when they're struggling with mental health issues. I find it hard to deal with because I'm not a trained counsellor, so all I can really do is offer them names and numbers to contact someone who can help them. I have to hear about a lot of personal issues from other people and it does weigh me down sometimes.

Not sure how big your organisation is but employment assistance programs are fairly common now. http://www.eapaa.org.au/site/

 

[sprockets]

Very sad - reinforces that depression doesn’t care who you are or what you have you are not immune.

Reading some of the Instagram posts that were included in the article also shows how deceptive things can be - while she mentions how much she was struggling she also made herself appear to be upbeat and coping and I’m sure that’s how others read it as well.

Sometimes (probably most) you don't even realise you have the two personalities, public and private. Many depression sufferers have had it for so long they don't realise they're 'putting on a brave face'.

 

[MrsEddieBetts]

Not sure how big your organisation is but employment assistance programs are fairly common now. http://www.eapaa.org.au/site/

Thank you, we do have one already.

 

[Len Nicodemo]

People who commit suicide have zero sympathy from me, can't handle their problems so they throw all their burden on the loved ones left behind. Rot.

Simplistic

 

[nicky]

Simplistic

Agree, simplistic view from someone that hasn't lost perspective and suffered severe depression.

The sad thing is that people who kill themselves typically believe their loved ones would be better off without them.

The other point is that if someone is suffering suicidal tendencies their pain has outweighed their ability to cope with it.

Just think about how bad things would need to be for you to have lost hope, think everyone would be better off without you and you do not have (or think you have) the resources to get through it.

 

[EDFL follower]

I have a friend who has zero sympathy for people who commit suicide. I think He just thinks that if they want to commit suicide then so be it. Thinks they r weak etc. and the world is better off without them. While I don’t totally agree with him I do have trouble understanding why relatively normal people would even consider it. I love life- nothing beats living!
I also think it’s interesting that this is the best time ever to be alive yet suicide rates and depression etc. seem to be higher than ever before. Personally I think increased drug use is the main reason!

 

[M Malice]

Gee talk about a lack of empathy from some posters, suicide/depression is a very nuanced, sad and complicated circumstance. Try and walk in another persons shoes before jumping to judgment and condemning them posthumously.

 

[tryitout]

Seeing someone close to you going through hell and feeling helpless in trying to help them out of a hole is a horrible experience. Having that person then take their own life is something you wouldn't wish upon anyone.

I have a friend who has zero sympathy for people who commit suicide. I think He just thinks that if they want to commit suicide then so be it. Thinks they r weak etc. and the world is better off without them. While I don’t totally agree with him I do have trouble understanding why relatively normal people would even consider it. I love life- nothing beats living!
I also think it’s interesting that this is the best time ever to be alive yet suicide rates and depression etc. seem to be higher than ever before. Personally I think increased drug use is the main reason!

Why do you think that now is the best time to be alive?

 

[Scotland]

I have a friend who has zero sympathy for people who commit suicide. I think He just thinks that if they want to commit suicide then so be it.

Gonna sound harsh but why would you?

You can empathise with the struggles that led them to that point, but once it's done it's done and their pain is ended - but it is others left to carry it on.

There's a reason people call it a selfish act and that's because loved ones are left behind grieving and trying to understand why, punishing themselves for what they could/should have done etc.

 

[nicky]

Gonna sound harsh but why would you?

You can empathise with the struggles that led them to that point, but once it's done it's done and their pain is ended - but it is others left to carry it on.

There's a reason people call it a selfish act and that's because loved ones are left behind grieving and trying to understand why, punishing themselves for what they could/should have done etc.

It is called selfish by people that have no idea.

Yes people are left behind and suffer thinking coulda, shoulda, woulda ut this is for their own perosnal payoffs, 1st being if they cover every scenario imaginable then they are in control of this loss ever hapening to them again (which is a ****ing delusion) and 2nd focussing on what they could have done or should not have done is easier to think about over the unfathomable loss they are enduring.

Either way someone suffering complete hell on earth should not have to endure this just so their loved ones dont have to take a look at their dull lives.

I know too many people that have suicided one was easily the closest person too me. I have spent Alot of time thinking about what i could, should etc have done. At the end of the day this person was sick af, had no perspective on how loved and important she was. When i think about the hell she must have been going through to make this decision then i am so glad she is now at peace.

YES, even though a few of us still suffer. I have heard this perspective before "suicide just passes the pain onto others" and this perspective is literally spouted by people that have never had tp really thknk about suicide and what it means etc.

I pretty much switch offf when i hear people talk like this about suicide.

 

[nicky]

From David Foster Wallace:

"The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire's flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It's not desiring the fall; it's terror of the flame yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don‘t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You'd have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling."

This is so brilliant!!!!! Right on point.

 

[nicky]

Your talking here of an immediate physical threat, be burnt or jump. People that jump would do so in the thought that they may in some way survive. You cant compare this to suicide.

You can.

Life can feel so hellish that you feel like you are trapped in a burning building and the only escape os to die. It is ironic but killing yourself can be an aspect of your survival instinct kicking in.

 

[nicky]

And my point in this thread before a couple of psych nurses took offense was that the victims of this scam on regular occasions ring lifeline.

Sometimes they get straight out abuse, other times refereed to agencies that want there story kept quiet because the agency are pushing the chemical imbalance fraud themselves. Sometimes there's phone attendants who know what goes on but are powerless to help.

Doctors and nurses are threatening and violating victims of this fraud and it's costing life's.

I sm with LG on this. I have witnessed 1st hand abuses from psyche nurses. I am talking nurse ratchett level of sinister.

1 eg is them entering a home of someone legally sane, zero threat to themselves or anyone else and ordered this person to take a very strong antipsychotic drug (i was asked to go arpund there prior to psych nursese getting there)

I agreed with the perskn that i didn't think this neccessary. They said they qould get a docotors order (without a dr seeing the patient, just on their say so) to enforce the person to take the drug.

One of the psyche nurses accused the person of being "elevated " - if this wasn't such a sick vioation it could be a comedy. The person calmly replied "would you be elevated if someone came into your home and threatened you to "take this drug or we get the police here to forcibly make you take this drug and lock you up in a high security psyche ward.

So the back story is this person had not slept for 3 nights and was behaving strangely so someone who cares for this person called the CAT team.

Anyway, i was finally joined by someone else who has a phd in ethics and morality. We were floored by what qas going on. The psyche nurses were deliberately trying to rile this pwrson up a d were smug af.

I did not believe this person needed an anti psychotic drug but literally begged them to just take it because the flip side of not taking it was yhe cops barracading the house, holding this person down whilsts these campaigners force this drug on the person.

Anyway, despite our efforts this person stood their ground as well as standing up for one of their basic human rights to consent what go3s into their bodies. 3 cops cats came, 6 cops in all. All demanding this person do what the campaigner psyche nurses have decided needed to be done.

There were a few times myself or the other person with me would rem8nd the psyche nurses that this isn't actually THAT funny soooo no need to be openly enjoying this.

Finally the ambulance were called. To cut a long story short, they sa8d there is no way of getting put of a. Taking this medication and b. Locking them in a psyche ward. So we hatched a plan that we were taking the person in to look at a heart condition so that they would willingly get into yhe ambo.

It was at this point one of the psyche nurses gleefully advised me that this person was involuntarily committed and would be locked up indefinitely.

We get to the hospital and gradually the truth emerges.

I left the person locked in a room with white walls when i knew, that they should not be there.

That night they had 0lanned to watch the footy show and 2 sadistic campaigner psyche nurses decided to radically change that.

Everything written here is the exact truth. The person who originally called the CAT team felt like garbage and Dr of ethics and i felt like absolute shit.

This is one example of many abuses of power i have witnessed. Dont even get me started on medication.

I know atleast 5 people that have ended their life and they were all taking antidepressant medication (at a minimum).

 

[Dav]

I have a mate whose mother attempted suicide, failed, and is now an absolute burdern on everyone around her, which is why he hates anyone that attempts it.

 

[EDFL follower]

I sometimes think that suicide isn’t really a bad thing. If someone’s life is that bad and unbearable for whatever reason then it makes sense to end it all. I wonder how many more people would commit suicide if it was guaranteed to be successful. I think a lot of people might not attempt it because they r worried that they might not be successful with their attempt and be in an even worse position.

 

[Cuzz09]

Yeah If you had an incurable disease and were in agony and didnt want to rely on others taking care of you then seems fine but if you do it over breaking up with some slapper or have a few too many bills then I dunno...

Its all mental. Fund more brain research I guess.

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[utility]

I found out today a friend committed suicide a couple of weeks ago. We weren't close but had known each other for a couple of years, and was close to friends of mine. So we had a gathering today so people had an opportunity to share their feelings.

A few things I reflected on from our conversations -

Her behaviour was becoming erratic and she became socially withdrawn (and socially unpredictable). Even though friends would check in to see how she was going she said everything was fine and that she just needed some down time to herself.

The work environment contributed heavily to her mental state. The process of seeking a different job may have also had an impact (being rejected). Although she had some health issues her work was highly stressful (worked for a big bank).

Doctors were aware that she was having issues but it didn't seem to make any difference.

Most or all of us who met had known others in the past that had committed suicide. I actually found out that someone I had met a few years ago had also committed suicide. One friend at the gathering professed to previously considering committing suicide (brave to share that with us). It's perhaps more common than most realise.

When people are down for a long time and suddenly cheerful it may be because they have "found a solution to their problems". It is a warning sign.

She was highly intelligent and highly self-aware. Her friends were similar. That made no difference.

There is a sense of helplessness. People were there looking out for her, but still wonder if anything else could have been done. I just don't know, but nobody can blame themselves.

It was only by chance that we found out. These days you can be connected to people without knowing their family and other connections, so can be hard to maintain contact. Ironic given we live in a such a connected world these days.

People respond differently; emptiness, sadness, anger. But it's just an overwhelming feeling of "what if?".

Individually it was hard to see the road she was on, but collectively (and in hindsight) there were tell tale signs. So if you have concerns with someone it may be a good idea to check in with others to see what relationships with other people are like.

 

[Off The Couch]

Well said utility
Condolences on the loss of your friend