Sun Tzu and the giggling concubines

Joined
Feb 21, 2002
Posts
55,206
Likes
87,555
Location
Port Adelaide 5015
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
Other Teams
Port Adelaide Magpies
Thread starter Moderator #1
When the King of Wu invited Sun Tzu for a visit, he said to him, "I have carefully perused your 13 chapters. May I submit your theory of managing soldiers to a slight test?" Sun Tzu replied: "Yes, absolutely." Ho Lu then asked: "How about we apply your text to women?" The answer was again in the affirmative, since the theory should apply to any army, so arrangements were made to bring 180 ladies out of the Palace. Sun Tzu divided them into two companies, and placed one of the King's favorite concubines at the head of each. He then instructed them to take spears in their hands, and addressed them: "Ladies, I presume you know the difference between front and back, right hand and left hand?" The girls all replied: "Yes!" Sun Tzu went on: "When I say 'eyes front,' you must look straight ahead. When I say 'turn left,' you must face towards your left hand. When I say 'turn right,' you must face towards your right hand. When I say 'about face,' you must face right round towards your back. Do all of you understand this?" Again the girls assented. The words of command having been thus explained, he set up the halberds and battle-axes in order to begin the drill.

Then, to the sound of drums, he gave the order 'turn right.' But the girls only burst out laughing. Sun Tzu said: "If words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, then the general is to blame." So he started drilling them again, and this time gave the order "turn left" loudly and clearly, whereupon the girls once more burst into fits of laughter. Sun Tzu said: "If words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, the general is to blame. But if his orders ARE clear, and the soldiers nevertheless disobey, then it is the fault of their officers." So saying, he ordered the leaders of the two companies to be beheaded.

The King of Wu was watching the scene from the top of a raised pavilion; and when he saw that his favorite concubines were about to be executed, he clutched his chest in worry and hurriedly sent down the following message: "We are now quite satisfied as to our general's ability to handle troops. If We are bereft of these two concubines, our meat and drink will lose their savor. It is our wish that they shall not be beheaded." Sun Tzu replied: "Having received His Majesty's commission to be the general of his forces and beholden assuring the success of your kingdom, there are certain commands of His Majesty which, acting in that capacity, I am unable to accept." Accordingly, he had the two leaders beheaded, and straightway installed the next two favorite concubines as leaders in their place. When this had been done, the drum was sounded for the drill once more; and the girls went through all the evolutions, turning to the right or to the left, marching ahead or wheeling back, kneeling or standing, with perfect accuracy and precision, not venturing to utter a sound.

Then Sun Tzu sent a messenger to the King saying: "Your soldiers, Sire, are now properly drilled and disciplined, and ready for your majesty's inspection. They can be put to any use that their sovereign may desire; bid them go through fire and water, and they will not disobey." But the King replied: "Let our general cease drilling and return to camp. As for us, We have no wish to come down and inspect the troops." Thereupon Sun Tzu said: "The King is only fond of talking about military action, he has no stomach for the reality of it, and cannot translate words into deeds." After that, Ho Lu realized Sun Tzu was one who knew how to handle an army, and finally appointed him general. Sun Tzu went on to win many battles and insure the stability of the kingdom.

Ken it's time to take the heads off some of the leaders because tinkering with the back end of the 22 sets no example at all. Or beware because they might just bring the general down.

The season is shot.
 

(Log in to remove this ad.)

El_Scorcho

Brownlow Medallist
Joined
Aug 21, 2007
Posts
24,302
Likes
50,123
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
Other Teams
Aston Villa, San Antonio Spurs
#2
Jonas, Schulz, Monfries and Lobbe could all be dropped without me batting an eyelid.

Ebert and Boak aren't far behind.

On the upside, I felt Hartlett had a positive impact.
 

LeoMessi

Premiership Player
Joined
Feb 22, 2012
Posts
3,447
Likes
2,463
Location
Melbourne
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
Other Teams
FC Barcelona
#5
The players are scared. They don't know how to play once they have the lead. The pressure is on and they fold.

I honestly don't wanna see Pittard, Jonas and probably Monfries next week. Bring in Amon (if ready), Neade and O'Shea.
 

PowerBaz

Norm Smith Medallist
Joined
Jun 13, 2014
Posts
7,028
Likes
7,145
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
#6
When the King of Wu invited Sun Tzu for a visit, he said to him, "I have carefully perused your 13 chapters. May I submit your theory of managing soldiers to a slight test?" Sun Tzu replied: "Yes, absolutely." Ho Lu then asked: "How about we apply your text to women?" The answer was again in the affirmative, since the theory should apply to any army, so arrangements were made to bring 180 ladies out of the Palace. Sun Tzu divided them into two companies, and placed one of the King's favorite concubines at the head of each. He then instructed them to take spears in their hands, and addressed them: "Ladies, I presume you know the difference between front and back, right hand and left hand?" The girls all replied: "Yes!" Sun Tzu went on: "When I say 'eyes front,' you must look straight ahead. When I say 'turn left,' you must face towards your left hand. When I say 'turn right,' you must face towards your right hand. When I say 'about face,' you must face right round towards your back. Do all of you understand this?" Again the girls assented. The words of command having been thus explained, he set up the halberds and battle-axes in order to begin the drill.

Then, to the sound of drums, he gave the order 'turn right.' But the girls only burst out laughing. Sun Tzu said: "If words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, then the general is to blame." So he started drilling them again, and this time gave the order "turn left" loudly and clearly, whereupon the girls once more burst into fits of laughter. Sun Tzu said: "If words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, the general is to blame. But if his orders ARE clear, and the soldiers nevertheless disobey, then it is the fault of their officers." So saying, he ordered the leaders of the two companies to be beheaded.

The King of Wu was watching the scene from the top of a raised pavilion; and when he saw that his favorite concubines were about to be executed, he clutched his chest in worry and hurriedly sent down the following message: "We are now quite satisfied as to our general's ability to handle troops. If We are bereft of these two concubines, our meat and drink will lose their savor. It is our wish that they shall not be beheaded." Sun Tzu replied: "Having received His Majesty's commission to be the general of his forces and beholden assuring the success of your kingdom, there are certain commands of His Majesty which, acting in that capacity, I am unable to accept." Accordingly, he had the two leaders beheaded, and straightway installed the next two favorite concubines as leaders in their place. When this had been done, the drum was sounded for the drill once more; and the girls went through all the evolutions, turning to the right or to the left, marching ahead or wheeling back, kneeling or standing, with perfect accuracy and precision, not venturing to utter a sound.

Then Sun Tzu sent a messenger to the King saying: "Your soldiers, Sire, are now properly drilled and disciplined, and ready for your majesty's inspection. They can be put to any use that their sovereign may desire; bid them go through fire and water, and they will not disobey." But the King replied: "Let our general cease drilling and return to camp. As for us, We have no wish to come down and inspect the troops." Thereupon Sun Tzu said: "The King is only fond of talking about military action, he has no stomach for the reality of it, and cannot translate words into deeds." After that, Ho Lu realized Sun Tzu was one who knew how to handle an army, and finally appointed him general. Sun Tzu went on to win many battles and insure the stability of the kingdom.

Ken it's time to take the heads off some of the leaders because tinkering with the back end of the 22 sets no example at all. Or beware because they might just bring the general down.

The season is shot.
Hasn't happened yet so have no reason it will now.
 

(Log in to remove this ad.)

tribey

5 Wins In-A-Row Certificate Recipients '13/'14/'18
Joined
Mar 9, 2003
Posts
56,093
Likes
119,576
Location
Queen St & Peter Rd
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
Other Teams
NUFC, YES.
#12
Of the leadership group, you have Jonas, Lobbe, Wines, Ebert and Boak who were individually very poor tonight. Then there's Trengove who's descended into rubbish this year and Hartlett who just played his one good game in five.

That's a lot of beheading
Speaking of which, Trengove had his Shilah clothing launch the night of the Carlton game.

image.jpg


Spot the difference.
 
Joined
Apr 25, 2009
Posts
4,886
Likes
5,769
Location
Some point in space and time
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
Other Teams
Liverpool
#14
Yep if I was running a football club, I'd be looking for people that are dedicated to their profession. If Schulz is doing this Final goal thing, he's gotta be exercising a lot. How much of his lack of touch lately could be put down to exhaustion or little niggles he picks up at his other job. And Jackson well he's setting himself up for life after footy already, I'd be having a chat and asking if his heart is in it, cause if it's not he shouldn't be playing. (Not that I think Jackson has been particularly bad in the first place)
 

Doctor Feel

Shitposter In Chief
Joined
Mar 30, 2009
Posts
54,535
Likes
138,341
Location
#BringBackTheBars
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
#15
Between Shilah clothing and "The Final Goal" or whatever Schulz's business venture is, I am absolutely convinced that our players need to focus on playing football only.
Shilahs facebook advertising is deplorably sexualised as well. I was a fan of the brand early. Now they have been bringing out ripped jeans and shitty sunnies. If you want to see 90% tits and 10% the actual product, just like the facebook page.
 

*PAF

Brownlow Medallist
Joined
Feb 17, 2005
Posts
21,573
Likes
9,393
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
#16
Been saying for a while that the issue appears to be leader and not related, and by leader we have to include both on field and off field leaders including coaches.

If the same message is delivered time and time again but not understood, then one has to also question how the message is delivered.

Tweaking the 22 doesn't change anything. We need Jonas, Pittard, Broadbent etc but we need them playing the sort of football we know they are capable of in a team that looks like a team.

Time for KT to step in and review the off field set up/structures.
 

Fade to Gray

Premium Platinum
Joined
Jul 2, 2006
Posts
1,039
Likes
1,822
Location
Adelaide
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
Other Teams
SA Spurs, Newcastle EPL
#18
Shilahs facebook advertising is deplorably sexualised as well. I was a fan of the brand early. Now they have been bringing out ripped jeans and shitty sunnies. If you want to see 90% tits and 10% the actual product, just like the facebook page.
90% tits, 10% product. That's a bad thing?
 

El_Scorcho

Brownlow Medallist
Joined
Aug 21, 2007
Posts
24,302
Likes
50,123
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
Other Teams
Aston Villa, San Antonio Spurs
#20
Um excuse me 100 years of marketing theory but Dr Feel has decided that actually sex doesn't sell so cover up your models thanks
 

RussellEbertHandball

Flick pass expert
Joined
Nov 16, 2004
Posts
53,167
Likes
67,425
Location
SE Oz
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
Other Teams
The Mighty Blacks
#24
Between Shilah clothing and "The Final Goal" or whatever Schulz's business venture is, I am absolutely convinced that our players need to focus on playing football only.
Bulldust. There is 168 hours in a week and spending 20 or 30 waking hours outside of that should be spent on something else that has nothing to do with footy.

I want blokes who can walk and chew gum at the same time on the field which means they have to be able to walk and chew gum off it. The 40-70 hours they are at the club or travelling interstate is enough hours in a week to concentrate on footy and footy club related activities. The key is the coaches and admin staff get them to do the right things in those 40-70 hours.
 

Doctor Feel

Shitposter In Chief
Joined
Mar 30, 2009
Posts
54,535
Likes
138,341
Location
#BringBackTheBars
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
#25
Bulldust. There is 168 hours in a week and spending 20 or 30 waking hours outside of that should be spent on something else that has nothing to do with footy.

I want blokes who can walk and chew gum at the same time on the field which means they have to be able to walk and chew gum off it. The 40-70 hours they are at the club or travelling interstate is enough hours in a week to concentrate on footy and footy club related activities. The key is the coaches and admin staff get them to do the right things in those 40-70 hours.
At the end of the day - what they do off the field is none of the clubs businesses so long as it doesn't get them negative media, conflicts of interest or affects their on field performance.
 
Top Bottom