After a long and detailed study I have decided to publish my results :
The foul mouthed back-staller
Always found at the rear of a stand the foul mouthed back-staller is recognized by their loud obscene language. They use this language on a regular basis regardless of who is around them, they could be surrounded by a hundred nuns and there would be no change. Typically abuses opposition players with insightful comments like, ”KELLY YOU F%^#$%&@$# YOU F&^#$% KICK LIKE MY F&^%$@* GRANDMA”.
The wit
Characterized by their impeccable timing and rapier wit. Born with an innate ability to pick lulls in the crowd and broadcast a funny comment. The wit is a much loved supporter, only the foul mouthed back staller take exception to the wit an will try to over-ride them with loud humourless abuse
The red faced umpire bagger
While the red faced umpire bagger can appear in team colours it is still unknown whether they support an actual team. They invariably spend the game bagging the umpire regardless of the score or who is winning.
The analyst
A quiet species mainly recognized by the pencil, binoculars and worn footy record that they carry. They spend the game quietly scribbling away on their footy record stats page. Their rarely heard call is, ”did you see who that was”.
The two faced super-critic (aka the fair weather sailor)
Happy as a samboy when his team is well head the two faced super critic is only visible when the game is close, or his team is losing. In such situations the two faced super-critic will turn on anyone from the coaching staff to his favourite player with torrents of criticism and general abuse.
The super loyal geriatric
Well equipped with cushions, blankets and thermos the super loyal geriatric is a regular game attendee. Rarely heard to utter anything negative or profane the super-loyal geriatric often refers to how long they have been supporting their team and how the club was stronger in the sixties. Look for grey hair and a thermos to identify this supporter.
The supercoach
Knows more about football than anyone, including the current coach, and is not afraid to tell you so. The supercoach becomes excited about obscure things like substitutions, game plans and match-ups. The call of the supercoach generally sounds like, “go long, kick it up the midlle” or “ man-up boys – wheres your man”.
The corporate high-roller
Congregating in raised boxes on either side of the wing the corporate high-roller is more numerous now than ever before in foorball history. Well dressed with no team markings this species only attends games to network with others of their kind and schmooze their superiors. Won’t mingle with other supporters and arrives and departs the stadium by unknown means. No known call.
Accessory boy
Owns and wears every available accessory and clothing item for his particular team the accessory boy is identified by his outlandish and garish appearance. Often unpopular in normal life accessory boy can become popular at football games by getting brief television attention.
The phantom
Wears no team colours at all and often appears an unassuming individual. The phantom changes markedly when his team is winning when he becomes loud obnoxious and generally annoying to opposition supporters. Often, miraculously, the phantom obtains a team scarf or beanie in the last quarter of a winning game.
Anyone think of ones I may have missed?
The foul mouthed back-staller
Always found at the rear of a stand the foul mouthed back-staller is recognized by their loud obscene language. They use this language on a regular basis regardless of who is around them, they could be surrounded by a hundred nuns and there would be no change. Typically abuses opposition players with insightful comments like, ”KELLY YOU F%^#$%&@$# YOU F&^#$% KICK LIKE MY F&^%$@* GRANDMA”.
The wit
Characterized by their impeccable timing and rapier wit. Born with an innate ability to pick lulls in the crowd and broadcast a funny comment. The wit is a much loved supporter, only the foul mouthed back staller take exception to the wit an will try to over-ride them with loud humourless abuse
The red faced umpire bagger
While the red faced umpire bagger can appear in team colours it is still unknown whether they support an actual team. They invariably spend the game bagging the umpire regardless of the score or who is winning.
The analyst
A quiet species mainly recognized by the pencil, binoculars and worn footy record that they carry. They spend the game quietly scribbling away on their footy record stats page. Their rarely heard call is, ”did you see who that was”.
The two faced super-critic (aka the fair weather sailor)
Happy as a samboy when his team is well head the two faced super critic is only visible when the game is close, or his team is losing. In such situations the two faced super-critic will turn on anyone from the coaching staff to his favourite player with torrents of criticism and general abuse.
The super loyal geriatric
Well equipped with cushions, blankets and thermos the super loyal geriatric is a regular game attendee. Rarely heard to utter anything negative or profane the super-loyal geriatric often refers to how long they have been supporting their team and how the club was stronger in the sixties. Look for grey hair and a thermos to identify this supporter.
The supercoach
Knows more about football than anyone, including the current coach, and is not afraid to tell you so. The supercoach becomes excited about obscure things like substitutions, game plans and match-ups. The call of the supercoach generally sounds like, “go long, kick it up the midlle” or “ man-up boys – wheres your man”.
The corporate high-roller
Congregating in raised boxes on either side of the wing the corporate high-roller is more numerous now than ever before in foorball history. Well dressed with no team markings this species only attends games to network with others of their kind and schmooze their superiors. Won’t mingle with other supporters and arrives and departs the stadium by unknown means. No known call.
Accessory boy
Owns and wears every available accessory and clothing item for his particular team the accessory boy is identified by his outlandish and garish appearance. Often unpopular in normal life accessory boy can become popular at football games by getting brief television attention.
The phantom
Wears no team colours at all and often appears an unassuming individual. The phantom changes markedly when his team is winning when he becomes loud obnoxious and generally annoying to opposition supporters. Often, miraculously, the phantom obtains a team scarf or beanie in the last quarter of a winning game.
Anyone think of ones I may have missed?
