Media Sweet FA Surprise Packet Of The Week S29 | This Week's Guest... Cactus_

[JoshWoodenSpoon]

I’m not warrior per say but I am a warrior and I’m not up for this award.

I’ll find you champ

Ah yep cool nice one. Well the offer is still there if you want to explain your earlier comment.

 

[fumbler]

Ah yep cool nice one. Well the offer is still there if you want to explain your earlier comment.

Don’t make me come find you.

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

SURPISE!!!!!!!!

It's a Warrior.​

Criterion: Classified

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

SURPISE!!!!!!!!

It's a Warrior.​

Your move from the Bears has coincided with a decline in your spelling and editing skills

 

[JoshWoodenSpoon]

Your move from the Bears has coincided with a decline in your spelling and editing skills

Spelling is a bourgeois methodology for despotism.

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Spelling is a bourgeois methodology for despotism.

Is this a recurring dream?

 

[JoshWoodenSpoon]

Is this a recurring dream?

I wouldn’t be suspised.

The spectacle is the guardian of sleep.

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

I wouldn’t be suspised.

The spectacle is the guardian of sleep.

the weight of the coins bear on the lids, in case muffled oars are heard upon the river

 

[Riviat]

Who?

Not sure whether to be creeped out by that or suggest that Test Tickle use it as the new club logo.

 

[Dinsdale]

not chicken twisties, the thread is instantly poor

Fun fact: The CSIRO helped in the development of the original Twisties, fixing the imported equipment.

Sent by shoephone via Tapatoe

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

This season, we here at TiFmedia will once again be keeping a keen eye across the competition, as we look to highlight some of the more underrated shining lights and hidden gems of the Sweet F.A, in a segment we call...

Sweet F.A Surprise Packet of the Week.


#2

Cactus_
West Coast Wonders

​

This week, we caught up with one of the underrated talents from the strong S25 rookie class, Cactus_ from the West Coast Wonders, as he makes a low key but impressive return to the competition in Season 29.

After a powerful start to his career at the Wonders, he took his game to another level in my first season back in S26, enjoying a run of form that saw him finish an agonising solitary point away from winning the club best and fairest award in S26 and sharing the dais with the selfless okeydoke7 after cruelly being pipped in the final round. However come Season 27, and Cactus_ vanished after Round 2, remaining unsighted until the recent off season, where he turned up primed for pre-season and another tilt at this Sweet FA thing.

After spending an extra week on the track to get his match fitness up, a rejuvenated Cactus_ dipped his toes back into the comp in Round 2, and by the following week with a game under his belt, he was enjoying a spike in activity and was back to looking every bit the Cactus_ of old.

Having clashed with the West Coast Wonders in Round 3 with my Warriors, he's brought a noticeable lift to the side, right when co-skippers Dingster and Sab22 would have been looking for someone within their walls to take the next step.

We caught up with Cactus_ for a bit of a chat as we looked back to those and talked about what the future holds for the satirical succulent, as we looked to gain some insight as to what exactly was the catalyst for his resurgence in S29, and what brought him back and rekindled his passion after a sustained sabbatical from the Sweet FA.

TheInjuryFactory: Congratulations Cactus_, you’re this round's Sweet F.A Surprise Packet of the Week!

First things first, what’s your favourite flavour potato chip?

Cactus_: Samboy Salt & Vinegar. Does anyone remember when you could put the empty packets in the oven in a low heat and they’d shrink and you could make a keyring out of them? Yeah. We didn’t have much to do with ourselves back in the day.



TiF: You debuted as part of a pretty strong class back in S25 and made an immediate impact before drifting away, to be left teetering on the cusp of a delisting it would be fair to say. It looks like you’ve made a strong return to the league this season after a couple in the wilderness, surprising even your skipper and teammates by rocking up to pre-season ready to go. With a few more senior Wonders yet to fire in S29, you have stepped up to fill that void for the club, and have definitely brought a point of difference to a Wonders outfit in transition. You’ve been on the list for a few seasons now, but S29 looks like it could be a breakout season for you if you can sustain it. What’s changed for you this season?

Cactus_: Breakout season? I hope so!

S26 and early S27 was a funny time. haydo was leading the Wonders when I joined the club. U2tigers brought me down to SFA - he and I had been crossing swords in the music comp on the Tiges board for a couple of years (long story short - U2tigers loves really boring music, me not so much) and we continued the love-hate relationship in the match threads. SarahSmiles was new and we riffed in the relative merits of kombucha vs dry martinis etc. etc.

But I hadn’t really picked up on some of the subtleties of SFA. Like the way a lot players seem to switch teams very frequently. I guess all the comings and goings discombobulated me to some extent ... and that coincided with a very busy time for me in the world outside SFA ...

Anyway. Dingster has the Wonders humming. And I’m back looking forward to decking the opposition boot-studders while everyone is watching Sab22 kicking goals. Let’s see how the opposition play with no boot-studs.

Bono and Cactus_ crossing swords back in the day.


TiF: You debuted back in S25 and made a strong start to your qooty career amongst a strong field including multiple current club captains, a beez Medallist and several All-SFA guernseys. You’ve missed a fair bit of that in your time away from the league, but you definitely built up credits in that first season. What brought you to the Sweet F.A initially and what brought you back?

Cactus_: As I mentioned it was probably a friendly rivalry with U2tigers that first brought me down, but also a few of the other personalities from the Tiges board - manangatang (Tangles) and Elton Johns Wig and others of that ilk. They’re great value and I’m happy to be back in the mix now that my time is freed up a bit.

And, yeah, I do seem to have missed a bit. I reckon I only understand about 40% of the “in jokes” at the moment ... I think last time I was logging in to SFA regularly CazC30 was just completing her two week internship, and now look at her!


Editor's note: Lel. Now look at her indeed.


TiF: If you had to rate it out of 10, with 1 being utter dogshit and 10 being freshly shaved cinnamon, how good do you reckon Dingster smells?

Cactus_: The skipper? I’d put him at 99.94 on the cinnamon scale. Like Old Spice but better. Does that Old Spice have a premium label? If so it should be call “Ding”.

Get some old spice on your Ding.


TiF: Who has been your biggest influence since joining the comp?

Cactus_: U2tigers.
Daylight.
SarahSmiles, third.
Apologies to EJW.


TiF: Being a Cactus, some people out there might be expecting a prick, but whilst your wit is on the sharper side, your humour is probably your strongest attribute. Who are the funniest posters you’ve come across in your time in the Sweet FA?

Cactus_: So, what, I list a few folks here and the people I leave off the list start to hate me, right? No, I love and appreciate the whole SFA community, warts and all. It’s just that I go in for tough love. Very, very tough, rather unfair love, most of the time.


TiF: Did you know the cool American intro voice on the Sweet FA podcast is the one and only ClarkeM, your fellow Wonder? Thoughts?

Cactus_: Wait ... that’s an American accent?!

Anyway, is the SFA POD still a thing? The most recent episode I could see was from June 2018?

By the by, if you need someone to do an actual fake yankee accent, the keep me in mind. I do both types, New York Gangster and Hillbilly.


Editor's note: If you listen closely, you can just about hear Loonerty's heart breaking...


TiF: When you rocked back up to training, you would have noticed some subtle differences around the club. How many inches do you reckon Elton Johns Wig has added to his bonce after winning the TFLUA-Tiger Medal and your BnF last season, and do you reckon he sleeps with them around his neck?

Cactus_: Yeah, not too much has changed TBH. I can’t speak for the rest of the Wonders but I can tell you I’m not in it for the silverware. I’m mostly in it for the violence.

EJW, strikes me as a sleeps with his boots on kind of guy. A sleeps with his boots on and a half drunk beer resting on his tummy kind of guy ... so if someone has hung a bit of tatt around his neck it’s probably still there and he’s probably forgotten all about it.


Editor's note: I reckon he probably sleeps with the lights on too...


TiF: Speaking of awards, I was an esteemed guest at your best and fairest last season, and I saw that my old mate Bono took out the Captain’s Award, a deserving outcome befitting of the man, and in no way a square up for any perceived wrongdoing he may or may not have received earlier in the season.

Taking their full catalogue into account, which U2 song shits you the most?

Cactus_: Yeah, the captains award. Let’s face it he’s never gunna win the converted Wonder’s music appreciation award.

As to which U2 song I despise the most ... let’s go with all of ‘em. In fact the only U2 song I can tolerate is Van Diemen’s Land. And then only when I’m drunk and there’s a campfire involved.


TiF: Purely hypothetical one here, but would you ever shaft a teammate for an award and some personal glory you didn’t deserve? Let’s say, for argument’s sake, you had complete control and you wanted to screw your ruckman out of an All-SFA spot? Again, no one would ever do something like that, this we know, but if you could get away with it, would you do it?

Cactus_: Well, as I mentioned, I don’t give a **** about silverware and tatty cheap looking ribbons and stuff like that ... but would I do it for the lols? Hell yeah.


Editor's note: Bono beware!

TiF: If you were picking your own side from scratch, who would be the first player you would pick, and why?

Cactus_: I’m more a follower than a leader TBH. Not sure I’d know where to start with picking a team myself.


TiF: Who’s going to win the spoon?

Cactus_: Well, I don’t know who will win it. But I’d like to see it go to the “we won four in a row” Sewer Rats. They seem to get their self-worth and identity from talking about winning stuff. They deserve it.


TiF: This past fortnight, doxxing has been all the rage, with two SFA posters savagely doxxed out of nowhere. If someone doxxed you, what would be the most interesting thing they would find out about you?

Cactus_: How are people getting info to dox people with of BF? Self-disclosure? High-level hacking skills. Oh well, I better come clean:

• I have three families and I don’t pay alimony.
• My yacht is registered in the Marshall Is.
• My girlfriend’s run off with my car.
• I’m interested in politics.
• I know all the words to The Worker’s Flag and The Internationale.
• And I like expensive chardonnay.

TiF: That certainly sounds prickly. Great chat Cactus_, thanks mate! You’ve started off Season 29 superbly, it’s great to have you back in the fold, and we here at TiFmedia will be looking on with keen interest to see you recapture some of that rookie season form you displayed in your debut year. Thank you for your time and congratulations on being the TiFmedia Surprise Packet of the Week.

 

[haydo]

Fantastic to see Cactus_ back posting in the league, from a fellow Wonder to another

 

[Dingster]

Love your work TIF and Cactus_. I'll be keeping a copy of my Old Spice Ding for a rainy day!

 

[ClarkeM]

What a strange question... I love it.

 

[U2tigers]

Brilliant stuff TIF and Cactus_.

It's great Cactus_ is back posting, strengthens the Wonders a lot.

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Terrific interview. Cactus possesses great wit and charm. Kudos for knowing the words to The Workers Flag and the Internationale.

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

Welcome back (again again) Cactus_

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

Welcome back (again again) Cactus_

This is the laziest "look at me, I do media" I have EVER seen, and I'm here for it.

 

[Cactus_]

I must have answered all these questions when I was smashed on mid-morning kir royales cause I don’t remember this interview at all.

There I was reading the interview thinking “who is this guy, reeling off all these effortlessly brilliant answers . . . aw s**t, it’s me!”

Also I got a shock reading the rest of the thread before realising how old it was . . . I saw the name JoshWoodenSpoon and thought: “no way . . . back from the ded!” Haha! Then I realised how old the thread was! Haha! As if that guy would ever come back!