Certified Legendary Thread Sympathy for *essendon - congratulations on '16 Wooden Spoon (RIP The Scales)

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Grogg

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I have sent in 6 different application's with more to come.

1) Chris Carmichael
2) Charlie Francis
3) Igor Rimsky
4) Rica Reinisch
5) Mark Kerr
6) Dieter Binus

You may know some of these people looking to join *essendon. If not I am sure you can find them on google.
Lance Strongarm?
 

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Kimbo

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Actually, if one had the time and the energy, it would be fun to do a fake application that simultaneously looks serious and real and/but satirically takes piss out of them.

"To whom it may concern,

As a person of ambition who has committed myself to embrace every professional challenge put in front of me, I am pleased to apply for this position of "Integrity Officer, EFC". There can be no more challenging position in the AFL, or Australian sport for that matter, than this one! Building a sense of pride and respect within the AFL and broader sporting community will be no small feat and will surely take considerable time, but one I believe I am well qualified to undertake. As a supporter of the NMFC for years, I all-too-well schooled in the importance of a high performance focus that does not come at the expense of sportsmanship, community engagement, and humility.

... etc."

Insert thoughts on key strategies here...
 

Wild Bill

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Actually, if one had the time and the energy, it would be fun to do a fake application that simultaneously looks serious and real and/but satirically takes piss out of them.

"To whom it may concern,

As a person of ambition who has committed myself to embrace every professional challenge put in front of me, I am pleased to apply for this position of "Integrity Officer, EFC". There can be no more challenging position in the AFL, or Australian sport for that matter, than this one! Building a sense of pride and respect within the AFL and broader sporting community will be no small feat and will surely take considerable time, but one I believe I am well qualified to undertake. As a supporter of the NMFC for years, I all-too-well schooled in the importance of a high performance focus that does not come at the expense of sportsmanship, community engagement, and humility.

... etc."

Insert thoughts on key strategies here...
My apps are serious enough to keep them on the hook for a while. I hope they end up dialling the "health retreat" on 0477 163718 . For all drug and alcohol support.

My applicants have everything like completed degrees in Bachelor of Law at Deakin, Corporate governance position’s on the ASX council, working on the Pharmacy Board of Australia, Corporate Compliance experience at ASIC etc etc.

Don't worry - they are getting swamped with applications. Working out the real from the fake won't be that easy - especially as most at *essendon are not that bright!!
 

Horace

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My apps are serious enough to keep them on the hook for a while. I hope they end up dialling the "health retreat" on 0477 163718 . For all drug and alcohol support.

My applicants have everything like completed degrees in Bachelor of Law at Deakin, Corporate governance position’s on the ASX council, working on the Pharmacy Board of Australia, Corporate Compliance experience at ASIC etc etc.

Don't worry - they are getting swamped with applications. Working out the real from the fake won't be that easy - especially as most at *essendon are not that bright!!
This is better than your best work in this thread Wild Bill. *they won't have a clue how to handle all this.

Might get to *them so much that *they are driven to drugs to cope.

Wait, *they are all on drugs over there already.
 

Wild Bill

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This is better than your best work in this thread Wild Bill. *they won't have a clue how to handle all this.

Might get to *them so much that *they are driven to drugs to cope.

Wait, *they are all on drugs over there already.
Nice - cannot believe they went and stuck the add in the age. They would have to have contacts in the sporting industry to help put a short list together. Idiots - they deserve the loss of 100s of man hours sifting through the shit they will end up with.

My best application I brought a $20 pre paid phone and the only person that will have the number is the person recruiting for this stupid role. If my phone rings I will take things to a whole new level.
 

Nate7

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Nice - cannot believe they went and stuck the add in the age. They would have to have contacts in the sporting industry to help put a short list together. Idiots - they deserve the loss of 100s of man hours sifting through the shit they will end up with.

My best application I brought a $20 pre paid phone and the only person that will have the number is the person recruiting for this stupid role. If my phone rings I will take things to a whole new level.
Count me in! :thumbsu:
 

blackshadow

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Nice - cannot believe they went and stuck the add in the age. They would have to have contacts in the sporting industry to help put a short list together. Idiots - they deserve the loss of 100s of man hours sifting through the shit they will end up with.

My best application I brought a $20 pre paid phone and the only person that will have the number is the person recruiting for this stupid role. If my phone rings I will take things to a whole new level.
I'd love to see you score an interview with Chicken Little lol

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Nate7

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I'd love to see you score an interview with Chicken Little lol

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Nice - cannot believe they went and stuck the add in the age. They would have to have contacts in the sporting industry to help put a short list together. Idiots - they deserve the loss of 100s of man hours sifting through the shit they will end up with.

My best application I brought a $20 pre paid phone and the only person that will have the number is the person recruiting for this stupid role. If my phone rings I will take things to a whole new level.
Might need to take this
 

Nate7

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Nate7

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Ok having just read through the first 40 pages.
1st 10 pages: This board discovers * has/had criminal links and subsequently goes batshit; some * poster had a hit out on Tef.
Tef returns from yet another red card for posting the following

Thanks fellas.:thumbsu:

I was benched for 24 hours to take the heat out of the main board.

How was I to know that essendon supporters were allergic to microscopes?
What upsets me most about this is that it wasn't announced on Macca18's birthday!
Around page 30: The drugs and sms's are revealed (Dank goes down swinging) - board just about goes into meltdown.
 

LT Smash

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"Building a sense of pride and respect within the AFL and broader sporting community will be no small feat and will surely take considerable time..."
Perhaps you could say you are 15 years old and therefore have an expected working life of at least 50 years in which you might just be able to achieve this lofty ambition.
 

discodaddy

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Nice - cannot believe they went and stuck the add in the age. They would have to have contacts in the sporting industry to help put a short list together. Idiots - they deserve the loss of 100s of man hours sifting through the shit they will end up with.

My best application I brought a $20 pre paid phone and the only person that will have the number is the person recruiting for this stupid role. If my phone rings I will take things to a whole new level.
Respect, Wild Bill. Respect.
 

Wild Bill

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They were always going to start to turn on each other.
Worst run sporting organisation in Australia - the finger pointing and back stabbing will be on going.
 
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