I was considering going to this event, but looking at the "Contact us" page on their website, I saw Dean Wallis' name. I'm afraid that he won't process my information and book me in properly.
T: "I'd like to book a table, please."
DW: "Sure thing mate, how many people?"
T: "Just myself."
DW: "Okay." *fiddles around with the keyboard, agonisingly trying to find the letters for T's name.* "How many did you say again?"
T: "One."
DW: *desperately tries to find '1' on the keyboard* "Give me a moment, sorry. This excel stuff is hard! So many cells and weird symbols."
T: *Waits patiently*.
DW: "Phew! Done! See you on the 21st."
T: "Thanks.*
Later, on Friday March 21st
T: *Arrives at the front door and sees Wallis acting as a bouncer.*
DW: "Name?"
T: *Tells him.*
DW: "Sorry, not on the list."
T: "But you booked me in a few weeks ago! For one person!"
DW: "Sorry, but my records here indicate that there was no such booking!"
T: "What?!"
DW: "You didn't call. And the database crashed. And the Essendon boys did NOT receive AOD and thymooosen beta 4."
T: "This was all Dank's doing, wasn't it?"
DW: "Not at all. It's strange actually, so many people have come but none of them are on the list." *A furious Wayne Carey is seen trashing some chairs for being denied entry, Shannon Noll starts to sing "What about me" and Dermie waffles on incoherently about how being denied entry is crucial to Clarkson's 2014 gameplan.*