TAB's- Full of "characters" ???

Mazza1234678

Brownlow Medallist
Dec 2, 2017
22,511
11,162
AFL Club
Collingwood
Working in the city and “frequenting” multiple tabs during lunch, they are full of these Asian dudes betting on absolutely any live sporting market going around and dumping pretty decent cash on them

Drives me nuts when u wanna quickly get on a nag just before the jump ffs
 

iluvparis

Premium Platinum
Apr 1, 2005
38,507
31,408
AFL Club
Carlton
Other Teams
Calgary Flames, Man Utd
Working in the city and “frequenting” multiple tabs during lunch, they are full of these Asian dudes betting on absolutely any live sporting market going around and dumping pretty decent cash on them

Drives me nuts when u wanna quickly get on a nag just before the jump ffs
Money laundering
 

Minidisc MD

Cancelled
Nov 29, 2019
432
582
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
Working in the city and “frequenting” multiple tabs during lunch, they are full of these Asian dudes betting on absolutely any live sporting market going around and dumping pretty decent cash on them

Drives me nuts when u wanna quickly get on a nag just before the jump ffs
Nothing like the Welcome Stranger when you've just been arseholed from some spivvy CBD shithole.
 

Mazza1234678

Brownlow Medallist
Dec 2, 2017
22,511
11,162
AFL Club
Collingwood
I presume you’re frequenting these venues after Bourke St has closed for the day.

one thing I’venoticed in recent years is no longer leaving a TAB smelling as if you haven’t bathed in a fortnight
That TAB on Bourke is the biggest collection of misfits I’ve seen

Makes the Welcome Stranger look like a Mensa meeting
 

NonPhixion

Bookie Assassin
Mar 27, 2018
4,711
6,067
AFL Club
Collingwood
Other Teams
Cleveland Browns, Tony Ferguson
That TAB on Bourke is the biggest collection of misfits I’ve seen

Makes the Welcome Stranger look like a Mensa meeting
my local TAB next to my work would give it a run for its money.
Funny story actually, I work at a grocery shop & a few months ago some bloke stole some grog, check the cameras to get a photo of the bloke and what not. fast forward a few weeks and I bump into him at the TAB across the road. nevertheless the campaigner is sitting in there screaming at the greyhounds.
 

TheJanuaryMan

Club Legend
Jul 29, 2009
1,524
2,259
Melbourne
AFL Club
Brisbane Lions
"The Jumper"
Thinks nothing of leaning over 3 people to get a slip in for a greyhound race when they are loading into the boxes, shoving those in front aside to do so. When he misses the jump, glares at those who were in line, screws up the ticket, hurls it into the general direction of the queue and walks off with arms folded, muttering and glaring. The only thing that changes this mood is watching his favoured canine miss the jump and run 5th.
 

TheJanuaryMan

Club Legend
Jul 29, 2009
1,524
2,259
Melbourne
AFL Club
Brisbane Lions
Balloon Jockey. Around the 600m mark, bends the knees and starts bobbing up and down. As field heads around the turn, brings out the imaginary whip and gets the arm moving. Just after, the first PSSSST leaves the lips. Halfway down the straight, is bouncing on heels, arm winding like Pat Cummins warming up and a morse code of PSSSST's blend. Past the post, arm goes in air, usually with ticket in hand.
 

ash_1050

Premiership Player
Nov 21, 2009
3,263
5,877
Melbourne
AFL Club
Essendon
Other Teams
Melbourne Victory and Arsenal
The family wrecker. Was married with a wife and two kids until the punt got the better of him. He now gets to see the kids every second weekend and still has a chronic pokies and punting habit which he can't see is keeping him from having a meaningful relationship with his kids. Whenever he meets up with mates his mind constantly wanders to the next race and he always keeps an eye on his phone to check how his stack of TAB slips have performed.
 
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AvantGardener

Club Legend
Mar 13, 2016
2,395
2,518
AFL Club
Carlton
The family wrecker. Was married with a wife and two kids until the punt got the better of him. He now gets to see the kids every second weekend and still has a chronic pokies and punting habit which he can't see is keeping him from having a meaningful relationship with his kids. Whenever he meets up with mates his mind constantly wanders to the next race and he keeps an eye on his phone to check how his stack of TAB slips have performed.
I've got this all ahead of me :cool:
 

Minidisc MD

Cancelled
Nov 29, 2019
432
582
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
The family wrecker. Was married with a wife and two kids until the punt got the better of him. He now gets to see the kids every second weekend and still has a chronic pokies and punting habit which he can't see is keeping him from having a meaningful relationship with his kids. Whenever he meets up with mates his mind constantly wanders to the next race and he keeps an eye on his phone to check how his stack of TAB slips have performed.
too cliché, too sad.
 

Minidisc MD

Cancelled
Nov 29, 2019
432
582
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
one I see is Mr Mid Day. a dedicated auteur of trots, horses, but never dogs, this operator does his finest work when everyone else is working. and who said gambling isn't a job?

Never spotted in the 'social hours,' he'll be down the TAB at sparrow's fart, feeding in fivers, tens, and twenties. as soon as twilight sunsets over the last race at Pinjarra, he'll French exit. bang. he's outta there. if it's a Friday, you definitely won't be seeing him until Monday 9am. he doesn't like the weekend punters, the riff-raff, the uneducated, and the ill-disciplined.

Perhaps he's glanced only on your lunch break or en route to the GP's next door. but he is Mr Mid Day.
 
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TheJanuaryMan

Club Legend
Jul 29, 2009
1,524
2,259
Melbourne
AFL Club
Brisbane Lions
The family wrecker. Was married with a wife and two kids until the punt got the better of him. He now gets to see the kids every second weekend and still has a chronic pokies and punting habit which he can't see is keeping him from having a meaningful relationship with his kids. Whenever he meets up with mates his mind constantly wanders to the next race and he keeps an eye on his phone to check how his stack of TAB slips have performed.
A terribly sad, but sadly true one that many of us know along the way somewhere.
 

Minidisc MD

Cancelled
Nov 29, 2019
432
582
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
another is The Commuter.

it's a bloody shame they're dying out, because to The Commuter, the Australian coin is his best friend. he uses them every day. the bus, the TAB. probably the bottle shop too.

The Commuter will hop on the bus, known to all and sundry on their way to work or school or university, dropped off by the same post in town. who knows where he lives? almost definitely a shithole over the hill. undoubtedly a TAB within walking distance of him, he's a man of curated expectations, stuck in old habits, or – unlike a hanky in his pocket or set of numbers in his head – a whole bloody TAB five suburbs over is his lucky charm. it was there when Mr Barbagallo bolted, bolted, and kept bolting at $49.50 at Dapto. it was there that Hesamesshesahex got his kitty from 4 bucks to 400 in 2002.

You'll see the great man in his signature kit, whatever that may be, at predictable times... right on schedule...

Where he goes afterward is unknown. in fact, you really don't want to know. a bad day's some Oriental noodles and the ABC. a good day's a frozen McCains and a six pack of Ice Beer. back again tomorrow, jumping back on the bus, journeying his 45-to-an-hour to the TAB that just... feels right.

And tomorrow? he'll be crossing the road at the same juncture, leaning against the same bollard, getting on that same 119.
 

TheJanuaryMan

Club Legend
Jul 29, 2009
1,524
2,259
Melbourne
AFL Club
Brisbane Lions
another is The Commuter.

it's a bloody shame they're dying out, because to The Commuter, the Australian coin is his best friend. he uses them every day. the bus, the TAB. probably the bottle shop too.

The Commuter will hop on the bus, known to all and sundry on their way to work or school or university, dropped off by the same post in town. who knows where he lives? almost definitely a shithole over the hill. undoubtedly a TAB within walking distance of him, he's a man of curated expectations, stuck in old habits, or – unlike a hanky in his pocket or set of numbers in his head – a whole bloody TAB five suburbs over is his lucky charm. it was there when Mr Barbagallo bolted, bolted, and kept bolting at $49.50 at Dapto. it was there that Hesamesshesahex got his kitty from 4 bucks to 400 in 2002.

You'll see the great man in his signature kit, whatever that may be, at predictable times... right on schedule...

Where he goes afterward is unknown. in fact, you really don't want to know. a bad day's some Oriental noodles and the ABC. a good day's a frozen McCains and a six pack of Ice Beer. back again tomorrow, jumping back on the bus, journeying his 45-to-an-hour to the TAB that just... feels right.

And tomorrow? he'll be crossing the road at the same juncture, leaning against the same bollard, getting on that same 119.
Back in the day, it was a slight trouble sitting next to The Commuter, as you could get an eye taken out inadvertently as he opened the newspaper with great alacrity to mark off the day's selections, often muttering quietly with an occasional "ah ha" as a familiar Black Booker stood out.
 

DangerSloane

Hall of Famer
Jul 13, 2012
43,279
20,716
AFL Club
Adelaide
Other Teams
Charlotte Hornets, Chelsea, Striker
What about the Free Crackers

The bums that sit outside the TAB and collect enough change to put on a $3 trifecta.
If it wins they go collect a sack of goon from the local bottle-o.
If it loses back they go sitting out the front until $3 more comes along.

Also double entendre because they're always hoeing into the free crackers (if there are any)
 

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