TAB's- Full of "characters" ???

Hamingja

Brownlow Medallist
May 20, 2014
16,083
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another is The Commuter.

it's a bloody shame they're dying out, because to The Commuter, the Australian coin is his best friend. he uses them every day. the bus, the TAB. probably the bottle shop too.

The Commuter will hop on the bus, known to all and sundry on their way to work or school or university, dropped off by the same post in town. who knows where he lives? almost definitely a shithole over the hill. undoubtedly a TAB within walking distance of him, he's a man of curated expectations, stuck in old habits, or – unlike a hanky in his pocket or set of numbers in his head – a whole bloody TAB five suburbs over is his lucky charm. it was there when Mr Barbagallo bolted, bolted, and kept bolting at $49.50 at Dapto. it was there that Hesamesshesahex got his kitty from 4 bucks to 400 in 2002.

You'll see the great man in his signature kit, whatever that may be, at predictable times... right on schedule...

Where he goes afterward is unknown. in fact, you really don't want to know. a bad day's some Oriental noodles and the ABC. a good day's a frozen McCains and a six pack of Ice Beer. back again tomorrow, jumping back on the bus, journeying his 45-to-an-hour to the TAB that just... feels right.

And tomorrow? he'll be crossing the road at the same juncture, leaning against the same bollard, getting on that same 119.
I worked at a TAB in the south east and there was an older guy who lived locally who would drop in pretty much every night. He was a massive pain in the arse because he'd come in and have $1 bets over the counter when you were trying to set the store up for the next day. Anyway you'd hear of sightings of this guy from other punters and other staff who worked at different agencies. It sounded like he followed the train lines around. Started at North Melbourne of a morning, then toured the city TABs then back out along the Sandy line of a night. Living the life having 1% quaddies from Yonkers harness to Mandurah dogs, all day every day. Kept all his tickets for the day and would be sure to tell you which ones he left out but should have put in.

Oh yeah and this guy had an affliction to 50c pieces. So if you gave him a 50c piece as part of his collect he would come back and bug you for two twenties and a ten.
 
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Hamingja

Brownlow Medallist
May 20, 2014
16,083
19,865
AFL Club
Geelong
Has anyone who has worked at a TAB had a character who was absolutely red hot on a consistent basis - and if so did you follow them in?
There was one guy who was mates with Smerdon that got good mail.

Another woman, and a woman placing good sized bets always sticks out, and she had Anthony Freedman mail.

Most people are full of sh*t though.

I was in a pub tab the other week and some absolute stranger was bragging to me about how he was banned everywhere (sure you are). Anyway he gave me a tip and it was paying $10s. I of course didn't back it. It ended up getting crunched 10s into 4s and creamed them. Doh!
 

iluvparis

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Apr 1, 2005
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There is a poster on the BF board who believes in the death race... When a connection of a horse dies and the horse runs in the next couple of days it always wins! i wont say the name of Iknowthedog i will let you work out who it is!
Might be what is needed to turn Lloyd's stable around.
 

Austoraisetheurn

Team Captain
Aug 25, 2019
554
920
AFL Club
Collingwood
I remember when I was a young and handsome man, im not young anymore but Im still handsome...6 foot 2...nice slim body....anyway, I actually scored a number in the TAB and a bit of a pash with a flick of tongue.

I was in a TAB in a regional town in Queensland back before smartphones...circa 2006ish. Anyway on the weekends all the local lads would head in for a bit of a punt on the ponies on a Saturday afternoon and then migrate over to the local and a further punt on the doggies later on in the evening.

Im in there as I was...punting on the Ashes cricket match at the Gabba which was underway...the Punter had just hammered a huge ton and I was putting some inplayers on.

Anyway....I catch the eye of a bird in the TAB...our eyes meet and then we quickly look away. I think to myself, that could have been coincidence, so I will wait for more confirmation. Anyway, that is when I see her deadbeat bf slapping his thigh as he valiantly attempts, unsuccessfully i might add, to ride home some donkey at a suburban race track. It really was a horrible sight, some fugly 21 year old guy hammering his hairy, pimply thighs trying to get home a long shot.

Be that as it may, I am not perturbed. From experience, women cheat just as much as men, if not more. Anyway, while this peanut is putting on more bets I catch her eye again. She looks over her should at me, our eyes undeniably meet and i hold the gaze ever so slightly. She clearly likes what she sees. Anyway, a few more instances of eye contact and I know this is a goer.

Then all of a sudden the bf drags her away to the local across the street.

Later on in the night im at the local, the bf has pretty much drunk a brewery by now, and is in no condition to really notice his long suffering gf as the last at Albion Park files into the traps.

Once again, our eyes meet. We sneak off into a small section of the pub and make out for a few minutes, tongue flicking in and out while her bf is too busy downing pots.

It was a short session but the illicit nature of kissing a women with a bf really had me turned on.

Was a great day. Often wonder what happened to her 13 years on...
 

NonPhixion

Bookie Assassin
Mar 27, 2018
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I remember when I was a young and handsome man, im not young anymore but Im still handsome...6 foot 2...nice slim body....anyway, I actually scored a number in the TAB and a bit of a pash with a flick of tongue.

I was in a TAB in a regional town in Queensland back before smartphones...circa 2006ish. Anyway on the weekends all the local lads would head in for a bit of a punt on the ponies on a Saturday afternoon and then migrate over to the local and a further punt on the doggies later on in the evening.

Im in there as I was...punting on the Ashes cricket match at the Gabba which was underway...the Punter had just hammered a huge ton and I was putting some inplayers on.

Anyway....I catch the eye of a bird in the TAB...our eyes meet and then we quickly look away. I think to myself, that could have been coincidence, so I will wait for more confirmation. Anyway, that is when I see her deadbeat bf slapping his thigh as he valiantly attempts, unsuccessfully i might add, to ride home some donkey at a suburban race track. It really was a horrible sight, some fugly 21 year old guy hammering his hairy, pimply thighs trying to get home a long shot.

Be that as it may, I am not perturbed. From experience, women cheat just as much as men, if not more. Anyway, while this peanut is putting on more bets I catch her eye again. She looks over her should at me, our eyes undeniably meet and i hold the gaze ever so slightly. She clearly likes what she sees. Anyway, a few more instances of eye contact and I know this is a goer.

Then all of a sudden the bf drags her away to the local across the street.

Later on in the night im at the local, the bf has pretty much drunk a brewery by now, and is in no condition to really notice his long suffering gf as the last at Albion Park files into the traps.

Once again, our eyes meet. We sneak off into a small section of the pub and make out for a few minutes, tongue flicking in and out while her bf is too busy downing pots.

It was a short session but the illicit nature of kissing a women with a bf really had me turned on.

Was a great day. Often wonder what happened to her 13 years on...
Lol classic urnie
Never change
 

Minidisc MD

Cancelled
Nov 29, 2019
432
582
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
I remember when I was a young and handsome man, im not young anymore but Im still handsome...6 foot 2...nice slim body....anyway, I actually scored a number in the TAB and a bit of a pash with a flick of tongue.

I was in a TAB in a regional town in Queensland back before smartphones...circa 2006ish. Anyway on the weekends all the local lads would head in for a bit of a punt on the ponies on a Saturday afternoon and then migrate over to the local and a further punt on the doggies later on in the evening.

Im in there as I was...punting on the Ashes cricket match at the Gabba which was underway...the Punter had just hammered a huge ton and I was putting some inplayers on.

Anyway....I catch the eye of a bird in the TAB...our eyes meet and then we quickly look away. I think to myself, that could have been coincidence, so I will wait for more confirmation. Anyway, that is when I see her deadbeat bf slapping his thigh as he valiantly attempts, unsuccessfully i might add, to ride home some donkey at a suburban race track. It really was a horrible sight, some fugly 21 year old guy hammering his hairy, pimply thighs trying to get home a long shot.

Be that as it may, I am not perturbed. From experience, women cheat just as much as men, if not more. Anyway, while this peanut is putting on more bets I catch her eye again. She looks over her should at me, our eyes undeniably meet and i hold the gaze ever so slightly. She clearly likes what she sees. Anyway, a few more instances of eye contact and I know this is a goer.

Then all of a sudden the bf drags her away to the local across the street.

Later on in the night im at the local, the bf has pretty much drunk a brewery by now, and is in no condition to really notice his long suffering gf as the last at Albion Park files into the traps.

Once again, our eyes meet. We sneak off into a small section of the pub and make out for a few minutes, tongue flicking in and out while her bf is too busy downing pots.

It was a short session but the illicit nature of kissing a women with a bf really had me turned on.

Was a great day. Often wonder what happened to her 13 years on...
you ever seen the movie Indecent Proposal? or more importantly, had he?
 

Minidisc MD

Cancelled
Nov 29, 2019
432
582
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
No humour in this one. but there's a character you can simply just refer to as a campaigner.

Stinks up the pub tab daily with his scaly skin and faux-hawk. sex pest to the bar girls and aggressive knobhead to anyone smaller than him. somehow has seemingly decent friends who will apologise on his behalf and give you a 2 dollar slip or get you a (cheap) beer depending on how unnecessary of a prick he's been. screams and yells and is pathetic enough to lie about how much he's lost. you kinda hope he'd just die.

No humour, as I said. just a campaigner of a human really.
 
Sep 4, 2003
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No humour in this one. but there's a character you can simply just refer to as a campaigner.

Stinks up the pub tab daily with his scaly skin and faux-hawk. sex pest to the bar girls and aggressive knobhead to anyone smaller than him. somehow has seemingly decent friends who will apologise on his behalf and give you a 2 dollar slip or get you a (cheap) beer depending on how unnecessary of a prick he's been. screams and yells and is pathetic enough to lie about how much he's lost. you kinda hope he'd just die.

No humour, as I said. just a campaigner of a human really.
This person is way to common. Seen it in about 4 or 5 different pubtabs I attend.
 

Austoraisetheurn

Team Captain
Aug 25, 2019
554
920
AFL Club
Collingwood
No humour in this one. but there's a character you can simply just refer to as a campaigner.

Stinks up the pub tab daily with his scaly skin and faux-hawk. sex pest to the bar girls and aggressive knobhead to anyone smaller than him. somehow has seemingly decent friends who will apologise on his behalf and give you a 2 dollar slip or get you a (cheap) beer depending on how unnecessary of a prick he's been. screams and yells and is pathetic enough to lie about how much he's lost. you kinda hope he'd just die.

No humour, as I said. just a campaigner of a human really.
Reminds me of this one time when I was at the local.

Im a tall guy so i get noticed. As i walk in I lock eyes with the barmaid.

I knew it was going to be on later that night.

And it was.
 

chunkylover

Club Legend
Aug 14, 2005
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West Coast
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Reminds me of this one time when I was at the local.

Im a tall guy so i get noticed. As i walk in I lock eyes with the barmaid.

I knew it was going to be on later that night.

And it was.
As an avid follower of the cricket betting thread I like where this thread is heading
 

Austoraisetheurn

Team Captain
Aug 25, 2019
554
920
AFL Club
Collingwood
As an avid follower of the cricket betting thread I like where this thread is heading
When I was younger I used to love watching couples hooking up in the local. It was my fetish....that and imagining myself sucking the beejeesus out of a hot women's peefectly formed big toe....with black nail polish and a light, sweaty odor...ever so slight it must be said.

Early 20s I was. I was a virgin and I loved watching.

I'd sip my beer and pretend not to notice as couples intertwined their tongues and swapped bacteria....but I used to love watching...staring...imagining myself exploring a hot bird's mouth with my tongue.....tasting the metallic of her fillings.....the rotten stench of a 2 week old tonsil stone....I didn't care.

I'm in my 30s now....i often wonder what happened to those women....

No doubt they dropped a couple of kids out....plastered all over fb....as if someone, somewhere cares.

Decent chance those same women will hit those same nightspots in their late 30s and early 40s....after failed marriages and broken dreams.

It is the circle of love.

Don't mind me lads.
 

Fabab

Club Legend
May 2, 2018
2,483
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Carlton
When I was younger I used to love watching couples hooking up in the local. It was my fetish....that and imagining myself sucking the beejeesus out of a hot women's peefectly formed big toe....with black nail polish and a light, sweaty odor...ever so slight it must be said.

Early 20s I was. I was a virgin and I loved watching.

I'd sip my beer and pretend not to notice as couples intertwined their tongues and swapped bacteria....but I used to love watching...staring...imagining myself exploring a hot bird's mouth with my tongue.....tasting the metallic of her fillings.....the rotten stench of a 2 week old tonsil stone....I didn't care.

I'm in my 30s now....i often wonder what happened to those women....

No doubt they dropped a couple of kids out....plastered all over fb....as if someone, somewhere cares.

Decent chance those same women will hit those same nightspots in their late 30s and early 40s....after failed marriages and broken dreams.

It is the circle of love.

Don't mind me lads.
Quality as usual matey,keep on keeping on .
 

Austoraisetheurn

Team Captain
Aug 25, 2019
554
920
AFL Club
Collingwood
Quality as usual matey,keep on keeping on .
My mates think I'm a sicko...feet are disgusting they say....I still remember the first time I ran My tongue between a women's toes.

She repaid the favour as well.

I wasn't too keen on that but there you go.

It has been a while for me now......hopefully my time comes soon.
 

HeathComeBack

Norm Smith Medallist
Mar 17, 2014
8,033
8,461
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Collingwood
Titus going around in the next at Taree reminds me of my mate Dennis. He is a "flamboyant man about town" who i would see in a TAB every so often and would love to talk to because he had so many stories. Loved to big note himself and a conversation would go something like this
"how are you going Dennis"?
"aww not great i just came from Bert Newtons mothers funeral where i was talking to Kylie Minogue and Geoffrey Rush was there who i worked with in the entertainment industry back in the day"

Anyway Dennis loves a bet and backs only numbers, 13 and 14 i think are his favourites because that was his mothers birthday/favorite number and would bet small on trifectas etc. Dennis had a "mate" who was always with him, a lot younger but in the 20 years i have known him never said a word. That was until i ran into Dennis 6 months ago and we were talking about the form, And Dennis mate comes up and looks at the form and sees Titus and screams at the top of his voice "titties!!!" and laughs maniacally.
I always thought Dennis's mate was intelligent... but i was wrong!
 

54Dogs

Norm Smith Medallist
Feb 18, 2008
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Boys trip away we're at the club and watch this 130 yr old lady start to make her way to the counter for a bet. The EBT was down with some sort of reset but zero chance she was headed there anyway so all good.

Started her charge at around 12.05 and the first was at 12.20, would have been 30m to the counter. We'd finished our beer and necked another by the time she made it to the counter with a couple of minutes to spare. She decided to go for the coins in her purse required for the $2 place bet rather then telling the agent the bet first, rookie mistake. By the time she had the coins out they were moving in then she couldn't remember the number and had to double check her form guide but could see nothing without her specs, back to the handbag. One was playing up at the gates so she had an extra minute. By this time there are 5 blokes behind her as the EBT is still down and they're getting antzy. She gets sorted and tells the agent the number just as they jump, no cigar missed the jump. Absolutely blows up at the agent for missing the bet calling him a f---g useless pr--ck and starts the charge back to her seat. The blokes behind her are filthy but too scared to say anything as she was wild.

Anyway, $31 shot won the race so turns out she saved the boys some cash when they couldnt get on, all's well that ends well
 

Hamingja

Brownlow Medallist
May 20, 2014
16,083
19,865
AFL Club
Geelong
Boys trip away we're at the club and watch this 130 yr old lady start to make her way to the counter for a bet. The EBT was down with some sort of reset but zero chance she was headed there anyway so all good.

Started her charge at around 12.05 and the first was at 12.20, would have been 30m to the counter. We'd finished our beer and necked another by the time she made it to the counter with a couple of minutes to spare. She decided to go for the coins in her purse required for the $2 place bet rather then telling the agent the bet first, rookie mistake. By the time she had the coins out they were moving in then she couldn't remember the number and had to double check her form guide but could see nothing without her specs, back to the handbag. One was playing up at the gates so she had an extra minute. By this time there are 5 blokes behind her as the EBT is still down and they're getting antzy. She gets sorted and tells the agent the number just as they jump, no cigar missed the jump. Absolutely blows up at the agent for missing the bet calling him a f---g useless pr--ck and starts the charge back to her seat. The blokes behind her are filthy but too scared to say anything as she was wild.

Anyway, $31 shot won the race so turns out she saved the boys some cash when they couldnt get on, all's well that ends well
Had a numpty woman like this, though not as old, so I just started serving the regulars across the other terminals while she was dicking around. Turns out she was a mystery shopper. Whoops hahaha.
 

Minidisc MD

Cancelled
Nov 29, 2019
432
582
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
Had a numpty woman like this, though not as old, so I just started serving the regulars across the other terminals while she was dicking around. Turns out she was a mystery shopper. Whoops hahaha.
Mystery shoppers are the scum of the universe. imagine taking time out of your day to be an intentional prick to people in a terrible industry to get a free wrap from Hungry Jacks. like I'm a loser. I bet 20 cents on the next dogs running, I lose everything, I drink far too much, girls don't like me and when they do I treat them like sh*t. I've cheated on people and told dirty lies. I even said Tony Abbott wasn't that bad just for a kiss. but I'll never be a mystery shopper.
 

come on oliver

Club Legend
Mar 17, 2015
1,451
2,564
AFL Club
Adelaide
Not a stand alone TAB outlet but our local is a real family pub. Caught some young dickhead sticking 10 cent pieces to the floor in the smokers area. Chuckling to himself as some old punters would trying and pick it up. Gave him a talking to about how these blokes fought for the country, show some respect yada yada.
Came in the next Sat. Same thing happens. My mate goes to his car, comes back and Tarzan grips the campaigners bar stool when he went to place a bet.

Sat behind him watching his ass squirm around launching 10 cent pieces at him.
He got pissed off and asked staff for help. One of the local heavy hitters threw him off the stool and said that’s what good mates are for now buy us a beer.
Hasn’t been back.
 
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