Certified Legendary Thread TAB's- Full of "characters" ???

[Lenny*]

The bloke who always runs out of the TAB calling someone 10 seconds before the race starts- There is ALWAYS some bloke, usually european, who runs out of the TAB a couple of seconds before each race calling some mate that would knwo more than him

 

[footyman]

Doesn't Read The Scratchings Man

You forgot the "Wo" on front of "Man"

How many times on course during the Spring Carnival do you get a woman with a big hat trying to bet on scratching!!!

There is an asian bloke at the East Burwood TAB who runs after people to show them his ticket after every race. He has either backed the winner and wants to brag, or he has a story as to why he was unlucky not to back the winner and how he was gonna back it. Im seriously going to hit him next time

I've seen him, he was in an argument with someone when I was in there. Remember him clearly.

 

[Lucky Star]

My local also has Over The Shoulder Man, the bloke who constantly peers over your shoulder when you're filling out betting slips, whilst trying to be as discreet about it as possible, before filling out the same slip, and shooting off dirty looks your way following the loss just the same.

See also: Gilbert, Russel

Brings back fond memories of seeing him come into the pub one night, off his tree, straight from a Hallam brothel, only to put a couple of grand on a mystery bet and lose...

Can I just say that this is the greatest thing I have ever read on bigfooty.

 

[Dogga]

Leaking Balloon Man - Lets out the celebratory "Pssssssssssssssssst" when his horse crosses the line in front. Really s hits me when it is an odds-onnie, especially when it has been 4 lengths in front since the 200m and he doesn't have the balls to let rip with the "Pssssssssssssssssst" until the horse passes the post.

 

[Tim56]

Leaking Balloon Man - Lets out the celebratory "Pssssssssssssssssst" when his horse crosses the line in front. Really s hits me when it is an odds-onnie, especially when it has been 4 lengths in front since the 200m and he doesn't have the balls to let rip with the "Pssssssssssssssssst" until the horse passes the post.

LOL

I am very much guilty of that!

 

[Rumbo]

I zipped into a pub tab this arvo (didn't have a bet)had to buy some rum.
While I was there I watched the last at the valley, this guy cheered Aussie Loti all the way (because it had a white nose roll) home only to find out that the horse which won was Lucky Diva(which also had a white nose roll on) then proceded to abuse his mate for telling him to cheer the wrong horse.(the guy was ethnic)I felt like telling him that he should look at the monitor as it shows the numbers as they are racing but I value my life too much.

Gotta luv the who brings his wife/girlfriend to the pubtab ,he has 3 teeth missing,tat's all over him & his lady wears a low cut top with her boobs hanging out , and they back quinella's all the time.

 

[twist]

I went to the TAB in Clarerdon st and to my surprise there was a lovely looking lady working there. Usually its not the way with the female TAB staff. You'd think being a male dominated sport that TAB's would look to hire nice fillies to work at their place of business.....i know i would.

 

[Im The Gun]

Gotta luv the who brings his wife/girlfriend to the pubtab ,he has 3 teeth missing,tat's all over him & his lady wears a low cut top with her boobs hanging out , and they back quinella's all the time.

and wants to fight anyone who looks at her.
Calls all his mates up cause "this pub goes alright!"
Is there from open to close, downs $100 on the punt, getting 2 or 3 quins. for the day and drinks around $200 in beer before hitting the harder stuff.
I know thats sort of bloke.

 

[starz]

Just another day down at the TAB...
* Don't tip this woman an odds on loser.
http://www.funny-base.com/videos1/badblackdude.wmv

 

[windyhill]

That is completely ********ed.

 

[sethlad]

I thought Id heard it all in this thread but today,a new species:

Mr after the race owner
Happily watching race 2 at Stawell trots today when the guy next to me, who thankfully hadnt talked all the way through the race,loudly declared that he owned the winner.

Mass congratulations from the diehards,he proceeds to tell the horses life story,ending by saying what a great trainer Andy Gath is & what a great partnership he & Kerryn Gath are.

Pity they split a year ago & Andy's currently nailing Kate Thompson.
Horse is in Kerryn Mannings stable,think he would have at least checked.

seth

 

[toddy]

Dont know what catagory i would put myself in but i know a bit about racing, dont bet too big, not a loud character (only a quick cmon or yes if i win big), bet on looking at odds and form, and come only to fill in time supposed to be spent at uni. Can anyone place me in a catagory???

 

[footyman]

Time to pull this thread up again, I'm sure we have some fresh material to add...

Was in the TAB last week, got bailed up by a rather eccentric bloke who spent no less than 10 minutes telling me his hard luck stories of the day. He was one of those TAB punters who walk around with a clipboard and calculator and look important and better than everyone else but really have no idea. Most TABs have one of those.

How anyone sane can spend all day in a TAB is beyond me anyway. I'm a track fan, give me the smell of fresh air, the sound of the horses in the flesh and the crowd atmosphere anyday over a group of loud foreigners yelling at the Sky Channel for a horse to get home into 3rd so they get the trifecta.

 

[- PC -]

Mr Trifecta Man

Only bets trifectas and proceeds to run down his hard luck stories usually starting with ''I had 2 out of 3 and my 3rd one ran 4th''

 

[sethlad]

If only they actually gave the multi approximates at the track without you having to wait until 15 mins before the last leg? And they make you pay.

At the TAB you can get the Dailys 5 mins after the 1st leg is run.
Quaddies 5 mins after the 3rd leg.

seth

 

[footyman]

If only they actually gave the multi approximates at the track without you having to wait until 15 mins before the last leg? And they make you pay.

At the TAB you can get the Dailys 5 mins after the 1st leg is run.
Quaddies 5 mins after the 3rd leg.

seth

I agree the approximates should go up earlier.

Anyway its probably only been the last year the TABs have had those. And they have those computer terminals at MV and Flemington where you can check them. But why don't they show running double approximates on those computers, you see get those on course 15 mins before the race also?

 

[sethlad]

The auto bet machines at MV dont show horse's odds?
Youve gotta look at the TV's,it's insane

seth

 

[SpecialComments]

The 4 Ingy Regulars

Me and my mate love a punt and are down at our local 3 or 4 times a week and we have nicknamed the regulars. 90% of the time, they are always there.

First we have "Businessy". Age approx 27, all dressed in his business gear (never seen him in casual clothes) with a new-age haircut. He loves his trifectas and quinnellas, and the dogs especially. He shouts out in races when his picks dont pull through "F...n ******* of a dog" has been heard a few times. Although he does have some good racing knowledge I think. Smokes Winnie 12's and drinks Coke Zero.
Times a week he goes to TAB: 7
Good Bloke level: 8.5

Second we have "Andrew Demetriou". Age approx 25, dressed well and seems to be very informed and knowledgable in regards to racing, loves his quins. Is a quiet bloke, although has spoken at times and seems to be a good bloke. More into the thoroughbreds and harness. Not married, never will be, only to the racing track.
Times a week he goes to TAB: 5 or 6
Good Bloke level: 8

Third we have "Deranged Ciggy". Age approx 60, dresses like a man who has just raided a Good Sammy bin. Wears t-shirts or collars with a pocket which has his 40 Pack of Longbeach in them. No idea what he is betting on, no knowledge. His savings are now the TAB's winnings. Have never seen him collect a winning payout yet. Most probably will have his ashes scattered over the carpet there.
Times a week he goes to TAB: 5 or 6
Good Bloke level: 0

Fourth we have "Twitchy Stalker". Age approx 40, not really a big racing gambler, loves the sportsbet more and comes up with the most ridiculous multi-bet scenarios like for example, Sheffield Utd to beat Chelsea, Bolton to beat Man Utd and Netherlands to beat Australia in the world cup paying something like $2500. Just so stupid he is. A write off rather. He twitches when he talks to you, can become slightly annoying at times, but his condition allows him to be this kind of arse. Never will be married, as no tart would ever put up with his twitchy moves and stalker ways. He has potential to give little kids lollies and take them to the back of the TAB. Lives only up the road and should be bankrupt by 50. All in all, he is ok for a 5min chat.
Times a week he goes to TAB: 4 or 5
Good bloke level: 7

 

[eastaugh36]

This thread is superb. Today at lunchtime there was the customary bloke who backs the winner and adds the whip sound effects as it races to victory.

Several years back we actually took a video camera in there and it pretty much captured all the sorts mentioned in this thread!

 

[Tassie Bulldog]

This is sensational stuff, thanks for reviving it

The person I hate most at the tote is Emu Man who collects as many losing tickets as he can from one TAB and proceeds to go to the nearest TAB and run the all through the scanner in front of you whilst you wait patiently to put your bet on. This in turn sets bet in last 5 seconds guy right off who then turns into show your ticket guy to anybody within reach.

Have some real doozies down here in Tassie

Wear the same clothes every day gang - once tried to delude myself into thinking it may have been for luck but when you get within smelling distance you realise not
Nip you for $20 man - never met him before in your life but assures you he is getting "paid" tomorrow. Read paid as Centrelink benefit
Lost Ticket Man - dives head first into a bin full of food and coffee dregs to recover his 2e/w ticket when there is a 4v3 protest
Went to school with Craig Newitt man - must have been 362 in his high school class
The Hong Kong Guru - couldn't tell you who won the previous at Flemington but expects you to believe he is an expert for races in another country!
The "What State is Randwick in" Tote Operator - we still have the manual bet option down here and most have no idea at all where even the major tracks are
The Thursday Professional - bets big and tells all and sundry he is a pro on pay day - can also be seen later in the week as Nip you for $20 man

Must admit I do enjoy seeing Lost Ticket Man perform his stuff but as for the rest ....

As for me, I do bear a striking resemblance to Kilmore Trots Man but will at least watch a G1 thorougbred race

 

[thecarpetsnake]

Don't forget about the
Bloke who thinks the touchscreen machine is a video game: This guy stays there for bloody ages just looking up random sportsbet divs when theres another computer for that, or just roaming around the different venues entering in quaddies and then changing his mind.

 

[Im The Gun]

No ones better than the local rat who knows someones who's cousin knew a mate of a room-mate of a good friend whoes boyfriend is sleeping with some girl who's friends with a jockey in the next and think it'll win.

We had one of these at the Royal Oak in Fitzroy North until he was kicked out for life for throwing a glass at the TV when his horse ran last. he blamed it on the jockey.

 

[Deej]

Don't forget about the
Bloke who thinks the touchscreen machine is a video game: This guy stays there for bloody ages just looking up random sportsbet divs when theres another computer for that, or just roaming around the different venues entering in quaddies and then changing his mind.

If there is any man i hate is it this man, he gives me the fkin ****s with his scrolling and scrolling, esp friday evenings looking for a bet on that night's footy match. Go to the other computer mate, let us bet.

 

[Deej]

What sort of man am i? I drink heavily and bet on the machine, rarely fill out a card, i dont look at form too much and just value punt for entertainment. Don't say much to anyone and if someone comes up with a hard luck tri story i usually look away and pretent i didn't hear them. Sethyboy pidgeonhole me mate what sort of punter am i???
(also i HATE smoking and cannot wait till it's unilaterally banned from all pubs tabs restaurants and public buildings everywhere)

 

[- PC -]

What sort of man am i? I drink heavily and bet on the machine, rarely fill out a card, i dont look at form too much and just value punt for entertainment. Don't say much to anyone and if someone comes up with a hard luck tri story i usually look away and pretent i didn't hear them. Sethyboy pidgeonhole me mate what sort of punter am i???
(also i HATE smoking and cannot wait till it's unilaterally banned from all pubs tabs restaurants and public buildings everywhere)

Mr I should learn how to bet on my computer wih IAS