Mega Thread Tell It Like It Is

[ChappyUK]

A few years ago one of the breakfast radio shows, Adam and Will or Merrick and Ross (can't remember) had a segment called 'Tell it like it is Friday' where people would ring up and unload on whatever they felt like. Was pretty funny.

I know it's a crappy off season thread but thought it would be good for the Bay to have a crack. The Bay is already about unloading on stuff but not everything is footy related or worthy of it's own thread.

Unload away.

 

[ChappyUK]

People that are too farking stupid to work out how to turn off the sound so their keypad doesn't make a noise everytime they touch their screen don't deserve to have a Smartphone.

And why the heck do the phone companies make them with a keypad sound option in the first place

 

[marshhhhh]

Thread should be renamed:

One of my personal irks, is f**kwits indicating left, then right, when they are simply going straight through a roundabout. Just drive through it moron and stop confusing every other poor bastard.

 

[oogac]

Why do people with a truck load of groceries go through the 12 items or express less lane? Cant they ****ing count? Why dont the check out chicks tell them that there are too ****ing many groceries?
Then you stand there counting the ****ing items to make sure they have only 12.

Then to top things off .... they never have there rewards card, credit card, or cash ready and spend the next 2 minutes searching for the ****ers.

I always tell the people that they have too many items and point to the express lane sign and tell them to go and get some numeracy training. Why the **** do I have to be the Checkout Police.

 

[NetworkNerd]

Why is it when i'm driving 105km/hr in the right lane I always get some tosser in a 4WD drive up behind me and flash his high beams. FFS im going over the speed limit already. There is no 'right lane is an autobahn' rule.

 

[Krujan]

Why do people with a truck load of groceries go through the 12 items or express less lane? Cant they ******* count? Why dont the check out chicks tell them that there are too ******* many groceries?
Then you stand there counting the ******* items to make sure they have only 12.

Then to top things off .... they never have there rewards card, credit card, or cash ready and spend the next 2 minutes searching for the gooses.

I always tell the people that they have too many items and point to the express lane sign and tell them to go and get some numeracy training. Why the **** do I have to be the Checkout Police.

Or worse still (this happens a lot at Aldi) someone is in front of you half way through unloading a full trolley taking up the entire conveyor belt. I'm standing behind them holding 3 items in my hands, they look over their shoulder, see me holding said 3 items, but don't wave me through to go before them and continue unloading their trolley for the next 2-3 minutes. FFS I could have been out the door and half way home by the time they have even finished unloading their groceries. It's not like at Coles/Woolies where the cashier can start scanning and bagging up for you while you're still unloading the shopping trolley.

 

[see see]

Why do people with a truck load of groceries go through the 12 items or express less lane? Cant they ******* count? Why dont the check out chicks tell them that there are too ******* many groceries?
Then you stand there counting the ******* items to make sure they have only 12.

Then to top things off .... they never have there rewards card, credit card, or cash ready and spend the next 2 minutes searching for the gooses.

I always tell the people that they have too many items and point to the express lane sign and tell them to go and get some numeracy training. Why the **** do I have to be the Checkout Police.

This. And rewards cards in general. Total rort, you need to spend about $100k to "earn" a return flight to Adelaide. Who the f*** wants to go to Adelaide in the first place?

 

[candiehappy]

Why do people with a truck load of groceries go through the 12 items or express less lane? Cant they ******* count? Why dont the check out chicks tell them that there are too ******* many groceries?
Then you stand there counting the ******* items to make sure they have only 12.

Then to top things off .... they never have there rewards card, credit card, or cash ready and spend the next 2 minutes searching for the gooses.

I always tell the people that they have too many items and point to the express lane sign and tell them to go and get some numeracy training. Why the **** do I have to be the Checkout Police.

bit tough on top of having to collect the trolleys

 

[Les Norton]

You're sitting at a roundabout; there's a long line of traffic coming through on your left so you're giving way. Then the next dumb campaigner enters the roundabout, no indication to turn, but does turn left and if that dumb campaigner had of indicated you would have been able to make your move.

 

[Wingard2Butcher]

women in high heels
women with massive sunglasses
women with arrogance
women with act like men
women who look like men
women with manly haircuts
women with full-time jobs

 

[Retired Jimmy]

What really grinds my gears are the flogs at work that are using all the milk for their cereal forcing us coffee drinkers to go without.
Who the heck eats cereal for lunch anyway???????? (Aside from stoners and the unemployed) and if it happens again today I'm going to "Rim" one particular middle aged woman's bowl when no-ones looking.

 

[dymot]

Thread should be renamed:

One of my personal irks, is f**kwits indicating left, then right, when they are simply going straight through a roundabout. Just drive through it moron and stop confusing every other poor bastard.

This is a troll favourite of Dymot's .

 

[Franc de Borges]

You wake up hungover and manage to fight through the self-loathing to get yourself to the McDonald's drive-thru where you order a whole bag of greasy shit, then get home only to realise that they still put mayo on the burger after you specifically told them not to. FML.

 

[Cousin of Daicos]

Why the heck do people merging into a major road/freeway wait for ALL 4 LANES TO BE OPEN EVEN WHEN THEY'RE PLANNING ON USING THE INSIDE LANE?!!?!?

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

 

[Franc de Borges]

People that get on the lift then refuse to press the "close><doors" button.

 

[Retired Jimmy]

F******s who sit next to me on the train then proceed to have a conversation at the top of their voice on the phone for the entire 35 minute trip home.

 

[matty_hawk]

Holland banning horse sex a few years back.

If i am having consentual sex (ie; not being verbally told no) than who the hell are the dutch cops to tell me to get off that damn horse.

Am i doing it right?

 

[LETSGOKANGAS]

I'm more of a tit man rather than an ass man.

Hmmmm girls t***ies.

 

[Franc de Borges]

Pubs that don't have an ATM, or won't let you put your card behind the bar.

 

[Retired Jimmy]

Holland banning horse sex a few years back.

If i am having consentual sex (ie; not being verbally told no) than who the hell are the dutch cops to tell me to get off that damn horse.

Am i doing it right?

That depends.....did you wear a condom?

 

[matty_hawk]

That depends.....did you wear a condom?

Pfft have you ever tried wearing one of those. you can't breathe!! unless... hey, where are you supposed to wear them?

 

[Probitas_]

Why the **** do people like Pete Heliar always get new shows and opportunities when Tony Martin hasn't been heard on the radio in years.

See this:

It's not ****ing funny.

 

[Hodgepodge]

A few years ago one of the breakfast radio shows, Adam and Will or Merrick and Ross (can't remember)

Yes, it was Adam and Wil.

Geelong are chokers. Telling it like it is.

 

[Hodgepodge]

Why do people with a truck load of groceries go through the 12 items or express less lane? Cant they ******* count? Why dont the check out chicks tell them that there are too ******* many groceries?
Then you stand there counting the ******* items to make sure they have only 12.

Then to top things off .... they never have there rewards card, credit card, or cash ready and spend the next 2 minutes searching for the gooses.

I always tell the people that they have too many items and point to the express lane sign and tell them to go and get some numeracy training. Why the **** do I have to be the Checkout Police.

I usually publicly execute these people.

 

[Swansujelly]

Big Brother /thread.