The BigFooty D&D Sessions - The Warlock’s Curse at the Haunted Castle of Terrible Horrors on the Hil

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Jazny

Watching the Sunset
Nov 2, 2014
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I cast <charm person> on whoever that guy that wildly casted magic missiles around and try to make him calm down and stand between me and the pumpkin cheeked thingy.
 

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Chief

Chugging Adrenochrome
Dec 1, 1999
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I cast <charm person> on whoever that guy that wildly casted magic missiles around and try to make him calm down and stand between me and the pumpkin cheeked thingy.
You realise you don’t know who you are or even whether you can cast spells. You consult the character creation notice on Ye Olde BiggeFootie public message board in the town square.
 

Chief

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Using my Darkvision, can I see if there are any carvings in the pumkin? Has the pumpkin been altered in any way - or is it a natural pumpkin?
Your head clears a little as the bard stops ramming chords into your lugholes. In the light coming through the newly opened door, you see that it is not a pumpkin at all, rather an unpleasant looking posterior belonging to another party member.
 

Beerfish

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You seem to recall much carousing. You look around and remember the whole party were there. You are hungry.
As I look for a door to exit this room and enter another one I say 'Hey companions let us look for a door to exit this room and enter another one.'
 

General Soreness

Awkward Squad
Aug 30, 2011
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I, Avoosl, will follow the good Friar, while checking my hat to make sure that no medals are missing. I'm assuming that, putting the Bard's skills to one side, we have no weapons - if that's the case I suggest to my companions that we at least arm ourselves with fire. If the space on the other side of the door is illuminated I'd like to be able to steal some of that light source for our own use.
 

Jazny

Watching the Sunset
Nov 2, 2014
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As the effects of those strange herbs I smoked last night begin to wear off, I regain a sense of who I am. Brutus and I just kind of sit and stare suspiciously at these weird humans wondering why we are here and what we should do next.
 

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Proud SJW

Cancelled
Aug 27, 2011
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As the effects of those strange herbs I smoked last night begin to wear off, I regain a sense of who I am. Brutus and I just kind of sit and stare suspiciously at these weird humans wondering why we are here and what we should do next.
What you should do next, is apologise the the goddamned pumpkin.

I mean, seriously. I'm sitting there at the bar the other night, minding my own business, when I notice these cowled, odd dark looking types enter the tavern. Sort of covered up to the nines, to the point where even assuming they're human is a guess, y'know what I mean? Viggo Mortensen's Strider the first time you see him in that movie, that sort of covered up?

So, of course, being a bit soused myself after a hard days training with a sword my father said I had better learn how to use, or I'd be the one hitched to the bloody plow next season, I'm a bit bloody tired and just sitting here listening to what everyone else is talking about. And, as it turns out, this particular lot of cowled, shady looking assumed humans was talking about the druid up in the woods. And how they'd been paid to beat the hell out of anyone they find up there, and to burn down the friggin' tree the druid was living in.

So, me being a model citizen and all, I go up to the woods to warn the druid. Only, the druid isn't home. So I sit down to wait. And of course, I fall asleep.
Time goes by, it gets darker, I'm still sitting there. And eventually, this druid comes back, sees me lying there having fallen asleep against the damned tree, assumes I'm a goddamned thief, and turns me into a pumpkin!

So here I am. The Good Samaritan, turned into a pumpkin.
I've been kicked, I've been slapped, and I've been aggressively hugged without provocation.
And if that bloody bard doesn't shut up soon, I am going to roll my pumpkin arse all over his lute. Because I am in no mood.

I would very much like to be turned into a human again, and I would very much like an apology from that bloody druid. And I would very much like to be let out of the damned room, considering that I have no idea how I got here, and if it wasn't for the druid, I wouldn't even be here to begin with.
And then, we can talk restitution, recompense, and reparations.
 

Jazny

Watching the Sunset
Nov 2, 2014
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I lean back against the wall listening to the Pumpkin's tale and blush as I recall a few nights past when I came home to find a strange man sleeping under my tree.

I assumed you were one of the farmer's thugs. He is some old jerk who doesn't like me just because my tree is apparently on "his land" and I have been freeing all of his sheep because I am a vegetarian and Brutus has been stealing his carrots. He keeps moaning about his livelihood or something boring like that. I have tried to educate him on how the earth doesn't belong to anyone and how dumb and ignorant he sounds, but he doesn't want to listen. Recently he has been trying to intimidate me by sending mercenaries to unjustly harass me for no good reason at all. They must have been the guys from the pub. Im sorry, I guess...
*I dispel the illusion*
Did I mention I am a vegetarian, guys?? Brutus and I nod approvingly at one another.
 

Chief

Chugging Adrenochrome
Dec 1, 1999
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What you should do next, is apologise the the goddamned pumpkin.

I mean, seriously. I'm sitting there at the bar the other night, minding my own business, when I notice these cowled, odd dark looking types enter the tavern. Sort of covered up to the nines, to the point where even assuming they're human is a guess, y'know what I mean? Viggo Mortensen's Strider the first time you see him in that movie, that sort of covered up?

So, of course, being a bit soused myself after a hard days training with a sword my father said I had better learn how to use, or I'd be the one hitched to the bloody plow next season, I'm a bit bloody tired and just sitting here listening to what everyone else is talking about. And, as it turns out, this particular lot of cowled, shady looking assumed humans was talking about the druid up in the woods. And how they'd been paid to beat the hell out of anyone they find up there, and to burn down the friggin' tree the druid was living in.

So, me being a model citizen and all, I go up to the woods to warn the druid. Only, the druid isn't home. So I sit down to wait. And of course, I fall asleep.
Time goes by, it gets darker, I'm still sitting there. And eventually, this druid comes back, sees me lying there having fallen asleep against the damned tree, assumes I'm a goddamned thief, and turns me into a pumpkin!

So here I am. The Good Samaritan, turned into a pumpkin.
I've been kicked, I've been slapped, and I've been aggressively hugged without provocation.
And if that bloody bard doesn't shut up soon, I am going to roll my pumpkin arse all over his lute. Because I am in no mood.

I would very much like to be turned into a human again, and I would very much like an apology from that bloody druid. And I would very much like to be let out of the damned room, considering that I have no idea how I got here, and if it wasn't for the druid, I wouldn't even be here to begin with.
And then, we can talk restitution, recompense, and reparations.
The DM looks around and sees an NPC trying to direct the story.

The pumpkin is sent to another realm where he can run his own RPG session.
 

Chief

Chugging Adrenochrome
Dec 1, 1999
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As the effects of those strange herbs I smoked last night begin to wear off, I regain a sense of who I am. Brutus and I just kind of sit and stare suspiciously at these weird humans wondering why we are here and what we should do next.
As your senses return you have hazy memories of late night carousing, and something...


The party all look at each other at once...

"The chest!"

You and the party were transporting a chest! For the Lord of... you try to remember his name... Mudwood! Lord Mudwood!
 

Chief

Chugging Adrenochrome
Dec 1, 1999
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As I look for a door to exit this room and enter another one I say 'Hey companions let us look for a door to exit this room and enter another one.'
You stop looking for another door and shout "The chest!" as the memories of tavern wenches and endless tankards of ale flee from your befogged mind.
 
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Chief

Chugging Adrenochrome
Dec 1, 1999
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I, Avoosl, will follow the good Friar, while checking my hat to make sure that no medals are missing. I'm assuming that, putting the Bard's skills to one side, we have no weapons - if that's the case I suggest to my companions that we at least arm ourselves with fire. If the space on the other side of the door is illuminated I'd like to be able to steal some of that light source for our own use.
You have your basic weapons and tools of the trade - see the character generation rules in the other thread.
 

Chief

Chugging Adrenochrome
Dec 1, 1999
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I, Avoosl, will follow the good Friar, while checking my hat to make sure that no medals are missing. I'm assuming that, putting the Bard's skills to one side, we have no weapons - if that's the case I suggest to my companions that we at least arm ourselves with fire. If the space on the other side of the door is illuminated I'd like to be able to steal some of that light source for our own use.
You bump into the Friar, who has stopped in his tracks. You fall on your arse.

You hear everyone shout "The chest!" and suddenly your memory flashes back to a scene in the library of Lord Mudwood, of Mudwoodshire, where you were entrusted with a secret mission to transport a mysterious locked chest.

You had negotiated payment up front, which seems to have been the first mistake made in this whole sorry affair.

"The chest!" you shout.
 
Last edited:

Beerfish

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Jan 20, 2008
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I look around to make sure the chest isn't in the room with us somewhere. If it isn't I recommence looking for a way out of this room in order to see if the chest is waiting outside or if there's some other sign of it having been nearby recently.
 

Chief

Chugging Adrenochrome
Dec 1, 1999
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I look around to make sure the chest isn't in the room with us somewhere. If it isn't I recommence looking for a way out of this room in order to see if the chest is waiting outside or if there's some other sign of it having been nearby recently.
You look for the chest.

The chest is nowhere to be seen.
 

Jazny

Watching the Sunset
Nov 2, 2014
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Have we been robbed??
You look for the chest.

The chest is nowhere to be seen.
*I turn to the group shaking my head*
We have been robbed!! I can't believe you guys were so irresponsible last night with all your drinking and carousing... *I take another mushroom from my pouch and chew on it, my eyes glazing over a little*

Can I check the room for signs of like breaking and entering, Chief? :)
 

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