Society & Culture The BigFooty Guide to getting the non-gender specific person of Your Desire (Part 8)

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The friend zone is a myth used by guys to soften the blow of rejection. It gives them an out for a girl simply having no interest in them romantically.
Embrace the friendzone.

It will save you from the horrors of aidz.
 
What sort of line do people draw when 'going on the chase' compared to thinking she's just not interested and giving up?
 

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The friend zone is a myth used by guys to soften the blow of rejection. It gives them an out for a girl simply having no interest in them romantically.
Yep.
... or by guys too scared to ask the girl out in the first place.
 
Usually makes for the best couples. Were you interested for years without making a move? Usually that lack of confidence makes it difficult to overcome.
I dated my closest friend when I was younger (yes female) and that took years

My current was around a year.
 
Yep.
... or by guys too scared to ask the girl out in the first place.

I find that situation to be all too common but probably an understandable emotion.

Especially when you try to ask a girl out.... with her boyfriend standing behind you. :$
 
Asked a girl I've liked for years out for dinner and she said "define out haha." How the hell are you supposed to respond to that, I cannot read this girl for the life of me and it's confusing as hell.
She is asking where you're going to take her.
 
Actual friend. I met her at footy. I was new to the club that season. Everyone at the club loved her and were very protective. I've been told on more than one occasion I'll be shot if I * up. I was scared of violence to be more haha
 
Actual friend. I met her at footy. I was new to the club that season. Everyone at the club loved her and were very protective. I've been told on more than one occasion I'll be shot if I **** up. I was scared of violence to be more haha
I meant as in former friend now partner :p
 
Asked a girl I've liked for years out for dinner and she said "define out haha." How the hell are you supposed to respond to that, I cannot read this girl for the life of me and it's confusing as hell.
Need a little more info

How did you ask her out ? (ie which words did you use, was it by text /messaging as opposed to in person , is the first time you have ever done this etc )

I get the impression that she was having trouble reading you (Or at the very least , wanted to clarify whether you mean- as friends , as once-off date , or as the first step towards something more ....) , but need more info /the context to be sure

Does she even know that you like her ? (Did you ever mention anything over the years you were crushing on her ...)
 

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The friend zone is a myth used by guys to soften the blow of rejection. It gives them an out for a girl simply having no interest in them romantically.

I think what happens sometimes is that there is no explicit rejection. The girl is happy to hang out with you but you don't get the signs to go for the snog. Sometimes it means the girl isn't interested or sometimes the girl is just shy. IMO it's best to find out which quite early. My personal limit is 3rd date. If it's not obvious just ask them what they are thinking. If it's not happening romantically that doesn't mean you can't be friends after that. You can both relax and enjoy the friendship more.

But it sounds like you were friends with your current partner for some time before the relationship. Was it a flirty kind of friendship? How did you go from long term friends to lovers?
 
I think what happens sometimes is that there is no explicit rejection. The girl is happy to hang out with you but you don't get the signs to go for the snog. Sometimes it means the girl isn't interested or sometimes the girl is just shy. IMO it's best to find out which quite early. My personal limit is 3rd date. If it's not obvious just ask them what they are thinking. If it's not happening romantically that doesn't mean you can't be friends after that. You can both relax and enjoy the friendship more.

But it sounds like you were friends with your current partner for some time before the relationship. Was it a flirty kind of friendship? How did you go from long term friends to lovers?
Drunken hook up haha
 
The friend zone is a myth used by guys to soften the blow of rejection. It gives them an out for a girl simply having no interest in them romantically.

Isn't that what the friendzone is though? I.e. where they like you enough to be friends, but don't have any romantic/sexual interest. I may be missing something obvious, but I'm a bit confused as to how it's a myth?

Yep.
... or by guys too scared to ask the girl out in the first place.

Agree with this though - it's definitely used as an excuse for not being able to ask a girl out.
 
Especially when you try to ask a girl out.... with her boyfriend standing behind you. :$
I asked a girl out once and her girlfriend was next to her. Awkward.
 
Isn't that what the friendzone is though? I.e. where they like you enough to be friends, but don't have any romantic/sexual interest. I may be missing something obvious, but I'm a bit confused as to how it's a myth?



Agree with this though - it's definitely used as an excuse for not being able to ask a girl out.
It's a myth in the way it's used. "Stuck in the friends zone" when really she just has no interest, it's nothing to do with being friends, they wouldn't suddenly become interested if they didn't know you
It's a way for guys to shift rejection away from themselves and blame it on something else
 
It's a myth in the way it's used. "Stuck in the friends zone" when really she just has no interest, it's nothing to do with being friends, they wouldn't suddenly become interested if they didn't know you
It's a way for guys to shift rejection away from themselves and blame it on something else

Ah right, I see where you're coming from and agree.

I was more meaning that a friend zone can exist without it being a negative thing - I have a lot of female friends that I have no sexual or romantic interest in (and vice versa). But yeah, I think we were just looking at it from different angles.
 

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