Entertainment & Music The Celebrity Roast Thread- GD Edition

[Shell]

Just an idea for a thread- inspired by "Shits me", "Punchable Heads" to name a couple..

Get your creative hats on and "Roast" a celeb you absolutely hate, love to hate, or even love. Pretend they are actually sitting in this thread and they are yours to go nuts on.
Or family members or friends.
Or bosses, or work colleagues
Or... Big Footy Posters (we'll see how long that lasts tho before the thread gets locked).

Thread meant to be in good spirits, no hitting too far below the belt.

 

[Billy ray]

i'd really like to roast the Pamela Anderson, but roasting plastic is bad for the environment

 

[Shell]

Dangerfield- otherwise known as the inventor of "* im good just ask me". Or really? Exactly how many premierships have you won you overrated loser? I'm sure you were successful tho in your junior footy days, too bad that didnt translate to an AFL FLAG. Fair dinkum, you go so missing in finals your photo should be on the back of a milk carton by three quarter time. Sure you got your Bronwlow (whoopee I mean, even Shane Woewodin

Shane Woewodin

Age

47

Ht

185cm

Wt

83kg

Pos.

Mid

Career

Season

Last 5

D

17.7

4star

K

12.1

4star

HB

5.6

4star

M

4.2

4star

T

2.0

4star

No current season stats available

D

11.6

3star

K

8.2

4star

HB

3.4

3star

M

3.6

4star

T

0.8

3star

won a Brownlow...) but where's the ultimate success??? -looks from side to side confused- And your goal kicking. How the hell can you nail a teammate on the run from 50M+ but CANT KICK A SET SHOT FROM 25.

Just keep on strutting around the footy field like you own it, cause you own s**t mate. You're like a tenant with a six month lease, at best.

 

[Shell]

/not rly tho, I love u Danger, like we all do.

 

[RedmanWasHere]

Not sure if it's improved but the development at Roving Enterprises leaves a little more to be desired.

 

[Quivorir]

like we all do.

 

[Shell]

I'm sure you do, deep down Quiv. It's ok to admit it

 

[GROTTO]

Dangerfield- otherwise known as the inventor of "fu** im good just ask me". Or really? Exactly how many premierships have you won you overrated loser? I'm sure you were successful tho in your junior footy days, too bad that didnt translate to an AFL FLAG. Fair dinkum, you go so missing in finals your photo should be on the back of a milk carton by three quarter time. Sure you got your Bronwlow (whoopee I mean, even Shane Woewodin won a Brownlow...) but where's the ultimate success??? -looks from side to side confused- And your goal kicking. How the hell can you nail a teammate on the run from 50M+ but CANT KICK A SET SHOT FROM 25.

Just keep on strutting around the footy field like you own it, cause you own sh*t mate. You're like a tenant with a six month lease, at best.

Even when he played for the Crows, I was never a fan of his. He has a personality that puts a lot of people off side.

Lots of players leave the Crows, lol. So its not sour grapes, off the top of my head, none of the others that left I disliked when they played for us.

 

[Moonwatcher]

Dangerfield- otherwise known as the inventor of "fu** im good just ask me". Or really? Exactly how many premierships have you won you overrated loser? I'm sure you were successful tho in your junior footy days, too bad that didnt translate to an AFL FLAG. Fair dinkum, you go so missing in finals your photo should be on the back of a milk carton by three quarter time. Sure you got your Bronwlow (whoopee I mean, even Shane Woewodin won a Brownlow...) but where's the ultimate success??? -looks from side to side confused- And your goal kicking. How the hell can you nail a teammate on the run from 50M+ but CANT KICK A SET SHOT FROM 25.

Just keep on strutting around the footy field like you own it, cause you own sh*t mate. You're like a tenant with a six month lease, at best.

 

[Shell]

Even when he played for the Crows, I was never a fan of his. He has a personality that puts a lot of people off side.

Lots of players leave the Crows, lol. So its not sour grapes, off the top of my head, none of the others that left I disliked when they played for us.

In all honesty, I think he is an ok bloke.

The player that genuinely gave me the shits at Geelong was Stevie J. Just so frustrating, did stupid things (passed when he shouldnt, and didnt pass when he should have), and seemed like a tosser in general.


(but who the hell knows, its not like we know these ppl for real)

 

[phantom13]

Chrissy Swan

I CBF going into the details but shes just s**t.

 

[Shell]

I would roast that roast.

But I cbf'd either.

0/10

 

[Shell]

phantom13

Man where do I start with this "Mod" who thinks he's the king dick Mr.Chad of Big Footy???
I'd start with the fact he's a St Kilda supporter but that's- just like when Mitch said to that guy who couldnt pee in public in Waiting- "too easy".

Instead I'll just ask the question- who's -insert a certain male appendage here- did he lovingly caress and suck to actually make Mod? He is 10/10 unaware of anything that's usually going down on The Entertainment Board and leaves most of the work for The Old Dark Navy's to do anyway. He's got no clue how to merge threads/edit polls and any other moddly duties you may request for him to do. Honestly- he's about as useful as a Nick Reiwoldt running into an open goal during the 2010 replay.

As a poster he's not much better. He's like a dog with a bone if you ever happen to get into a disagreement with him. Quote by quote, line by line, he'll pick it all apart until you wish to kill yourself. Or him. Or both.

Without even going into the Covid thread on a regular basis, I'll bet all my money he's doing some of his "best work" in that thread. Oh yeah and he's a St Kilda supporter.

 

[phantom13]

Can’t really argue with any of that tbh. Well played

 

[74561347]

 

[kozi]

Shell.. most posts on a footy forum by a chick who knows jack s**t about footy. It would be like someone from Frankston having most posts on a French fashion forum. Keep chugging along though, only about another 100k posts till you reach 100k likes. Word on the street is that private show Chief has lined up for you is scheduled for New Years



Who knows you might even get your first NYE kiss from an actual person. Poor old cat is due a year off

Also just quickly.. you fix that window yet? A little birdie told me you busted said window on purpose to lure in a male intruder. We must all commend you on your service to the community though, that’ll be the last joint he tries to rob. At least when you want to get rid of him all you gotta do is pull out some of that rank pastisio to send him running for the hills. After that I’ll teach you how to cook. Promise.

 

[Spazz Cat]

Chrissy Swan

I CBF going into the details but shes just sh*t.

She is insanely un-funny.

 

[Spazz Cat]

That Fitzsimmons f**kwit with the stupid f**king thing on his head.
Don't get me started.
Dead set c**khead. And WTF??? Doesn't he get sick of people asking him if he's got cancer?

 

[Spazz Cat]

Man. So many.

 

[Spazz Cat]

Gerard Wheatley. When did nerds get to like footy. They just wreck everything that's fun.

 

[74561347]

 

[Spazz Cat]

Any actor in America that is political and tells people how to vote.
You read f**king lines. That's what your job is.
Yeah fair enough, your good at remembering those lines.
But that's all your qualifications are.

 

[Gough]

Any actor in America that is political and tells people how to vote.
You read f**king lines. That's what your job is.
Yeah fair enough, your good at remembering those lines.
But that's all your qualifications are.

Better they go the full Reagan or Trump and go from being s**t actors to useless presidents I guess.

 

[Spazz Cat]

Better they go the full Reagan or Trump and go from being sh*t actors to useless presidents I guess.

True.

 

[Shell]

Thread needs Mofra