Certified Legendary Thread The Cut

[Dory_77]

Brent Moloney: You're James Magner
James Magner: Yes.
Moloney: You play as an inside mid
Magner: Yes.
Moloney: I play as an inside mid too.
Magner: So?
Moloney: Well are you better than me?
Magner: Well, I've never met you; but, yes.

 

[Unleash Hell]

Brent Moloney: You're James Magner
James Magner: Yes.
Moloney: You play as an inside mid
Magner: Yes.
Moloney: I play as an inside mid too.
Magner: So?
Moloney: Well are you better than me?
Magner: Well, I've never met you; but, yes.

 

[Rudeurrection]

Brent Moloney: You're James Magner
James Magner: Yes.
Moloney: You play as an inside mid
Magner: Yes.
Moloney: I play as an inside mid too.
Magner: So?
Moloney: Well are you better than me?
Magner: Well, I've never met you; but, yes.

Winning.

 

[Bluelegs]

An insight into 'Bailey Ball'

Bailey: You, Jurrah, kick a goal.
Jurrah: Okay, skip.
(Kicks a goal.)
Bailey: Ha-ha! I told him to do that.
Royal: Brilliant strategy sir.

 

[Wonaeamirri33]

Trengove: "Time for one last play, Coach!"

Neeld: "OK Trenners, after you vibrate that way, Aaron and Jack fall down, Mitch, you just spin around in a circle..."

 

[The Mighty Boosh]

Bailey: Hello boys. I wanna apologize. I got so caught up in trying to encourage you, that I was blinded to your stinky performance.

 

[Dory_77]

Neeld: Cheer up Brad, I thought you looked damn good out there.
...
Neeld: Oh wait; you were number 18?! Ewwww! You stink; uh, damn good!

 

[Ando727]

Neeld: Ok boys, new game plan. We all stink at football, so we're going to quit the league and buy a KFC franchise. I want a team effort. Wattsy and Trenners, you're on the registers. Don't forget to supersize and get em buying the 1 percenters. Spud, you're on the drive-in window. The rest of you can divide between the kitchen and the tables. I want a good clean effort and solid discipline. Mick Malthouse will be coming in once a week for a chat and a Zinger burger. Make sure it's a fresh one. Alright, let's do this! #It's a grand old spice, there's 11 and they're nice, it's the chicken and burgers for you...#

 

[syl]

I've been avoiding this thread. I have no idea why! GOLD Jerry, GOLD!!!

 

[d33my]

Aaron Davey: All this time I thought they were cheering for me, but they were actually cheering at me.

Brad Green: Okay, try it again, but this time keep your eye off the ball.
Magner: You mean keep my eye on the ball?
Brad Green: Hey, mate! Which one of us is a former AA?
Jones: Psst! Brad, your jumper's on backwards.

[Neeld is addressing the team on his plan against Carlton]
Neeld: If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
[Frawley groans]
Neeld: Now, like all great plans, my strategy is so simple an idiot could have devised it. On my command all players will line up and let Carlton score goal after goal. You see, Carlton have a preset goal limit. Knowing their weakness, I'll let them keep scoring countless goals, until they reach their limit and shut down.
[Jones raises his hand]
Jones: W-Wouldn't it make sense to actually kick goals - ?
[Moloney starts to choke him à la Homer Simpson to Bart]
Moloney: Sir, I volunteer for a suicide mission.
Neeld: You're a brave player, son. But when I'm in command every mission's a suicide mission.

 

[syl]

<3 Futurama! I Got to meet Zapp Brannigan a couple of years back.

 

[DevilsReject]

Brilliant d33my. I actually read that whole last one in Zapp's voice.

 

[Bluelegs]

Me: Yeah man, Melbourne sure did suck last night, they just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

 

[CTHORANGE]

This is the best thread on the melb board right now

 

[Dory_77]

*Howe takes a set shot, sprays it well wide*
Howe: Look at that, all the way past the line with only one kick!

 

[Marlowe]

Neeld: I want you to shut off the logical part of your mind.
Morton: OK.
Neeld: Embrace nothingness.
Morton: You got it.
Neeld: Become like an uncarved stone.
Morton: Done.
Neeld: Cale, you're just pretending to know what I'm talking about!
Morton: True.
Neeld: Well, it's very frustrating!
Morton: I'll bet.

 

[Dory_77]

Bailey: Boys, don't ask why, but you have to lose the big game this week against the Tigers.
McDonald: You want us to lose the last game of the year? But I was always taught that winning was everything?
Bailey: Oh, it is, it is. But we've been pushing you poor lads too hard.
McDonald: Maybe, but if we win we'll still get pick 3 and some confidence for the preseason.
Bailey: Well, pick 3 would still be handy. Alright, I'll give it a shot.

*Gameday*
Bailey: Warnock is killing it at fullback, whaddya say we put him at full forward?
*Warnock goes to FF, Dee's lose after the siren*

 

[Ess_don]

^LOLed hard at this, even sang it out a couple of times!
Great thread guys, some quality contributions here.. Nothing beats good ol Simpson's quotes!

Good to see some of you guys are staying positive amongst this horrible period, I honestly dont know how I'd cope.. stay strong guys!
1 of my best mates is a Dees supporter and he's gone from depressed to giving up and barracking for Perth Demons (has always been a fan though) and his DT now..

 

[Dory_77]

Board: Dean, you've been coach for almost 4 years now, what initiatives have you spearheaded in that time?
Bailey: Uhhh... All of them?
Board: I see... Then you must have some good ideas for the future as well?
Bailey: I sure do!
...
...
Board: Such as?
Bailey: Well, uhh... I wish the candy machine wasn't so picky about taking beat up dollar bills. Because... a lot of players really like candy.
Board: We understand Dean; after all we are from the land of chocolate.
Bailey: The land of chocolate... (Drifts off into fantasy)
La, la, la la la, la...
Board: Mr Bailey. Mr Bailey.
Bailey: Huh. Oh, I'm sorry. We were talking about chocolate?
Board: That was 10 minutes ago!

*Later, with Prendergast, et al*
Bailey: Yeap, I think I did pretty well in there.
Loudspeaker: Workers, we have completed our evaluation of the club. We regret to announce the following lay-offs, which will be read in alphabetical order; Bailey, Dean. That is all.

 

[Wonaeamirri33]

I've heard Sylvia was in an ad on TV a while back, for some sort of deodorant...

 

[LeverPuller]

Neeld's first address to the playing group:

Hello, players, look at your winning record, now back to me, now back at your record, now back to me. Sadly, it will stay crap without me, but if you stopped playing like kamikaze artists and switched to a defensive gameplan, you could win like me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a stage with the premiership side you could play like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s a case with a medal saying you won a flag. Look again, the medal is now $100 bills. Anything is possible when youplay a defensive gameplan and not Baileyball. I’m on a horse.

 

[ExTasDeeMan]

I wish to see this (wear headphones and keep the kiddies away from this):

 

[Demon JP]

hahahaha that is brilliant striker

 

[syl]

Brilliant but they still lost, and their next 15 matches followed by his dismissal.

**** it's funny though

 

[Wonaeamirri33]

Mark Neeld - like Mike Bassett after a dozen Red Bulls