Certified Legendary Thread The Cut

[CM Sean]

Gillies needs to go. Where's the upside?

 

[LeverPuller]

Gillies needs to go. Where's the upside?

The upside is he's only on a 1-year deal...

 

[Wonaeamirri33]

Random Fan: I don't know Mark Neeld; I never met Mark Neeld, or had any contact with him, but... [sobs] I'm sorry, I can't go on.

Damian Barrett: That's okay. Your tears say more than real evidence ever could.

PS- And a generous hat-tip to Ridley This

 

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

At the end of the Essendon match:

Neeld: Are they booing us?
Craig: Uh no.....they're saying "Boo-yrnes! Boo-yrnes!"
Neeld (to crowd): Excuse me, are you saying "Boooooo" or "Boo-yrnes"?
Crowd: Boooooooooooooooooo!
Barassi (in the stand): I was saying "Boo-yrnes!"

 

[Marlowe]

Jack Viney meets his new teammates

Viney: So what you here for?
Byrnes: I moved here from Geelong because they think I'm slow, eh?
Gillies: I feel off the jungle gym, and when I woke up, I was in a Melbourne jumper.
Dawes: I want to be a lawyer.

[Mark Neeld walks in and writes the letter 'A' on the whiteboard]
Neeld: O.K. Now everyone take out your safety pencil and a circle of paper. This week I hope we can finish our work on the letter 'A.'
Viney: Let me guess this straight: we're behind the rest of the league, and we're going to catch up to them by going slowerthen they are? [making "crazy" gesture] Cuckoo.
The rest of the Melbourne playing group: [altogether] Cuckoo. Cuckoo.

 

[tasmanlvr]

Royal meets Viney

Royal: Well most coaches will tell you that you're a fool to think you can change a player, but those coaches are quitters.
Viney: What?
Royal: When I first met Aaron Davey, he was classy, fast, and skilful. But I worked hard on him, and now he's a much worse footballer.
Viney: Brian...?
Royal: He's a much worse footballer, Jack.

McLardy: Supporters, what have you got against losing?
Supporters: You know, it's not...usual! If there was a law, it would be against it!
Opposition supporters: Oh, please, Melbourne supporters, you're embarrassing yourselves!
Supporters: No, they're embarrassing us! They're embarrassing Australia! They turned the AFL into a floating joke. They took our best players, like Moloney and Rivers. Those used to be our toughest, manliest players, but now they're just...
McLardy: Spuds?
Supporters: And that's another thing — I resent you people using that word. That's our word for making fun of you! We need it!

 

[AllenJakovich13]

Gillies needs to go. Where's the upside?

The Beard? :/

 

[PureFooty]

Speaking of beards, I made a friendly wager that I wouldn't shave till Melbourne win a game. It's been 2 weeks and it's fair to say I'm gonna have delays at the airport come June...

 

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

Markleneeld will be releasing a follow-up song in a couple of weeks.
Working on the lyrics at the moment.

There was no evidence in The Vault.
But it was still Chris Connolly's fault.

Schwab quit the Board.
Something something.........Dan Ward.

Hey, this song writes itself!

 

[Dory_77]

18 pieces of shit on the field,
18 pieces of shiiiiiit,
You take some out,
Swap 'em around,
Another 18 pieces of shit on the field,
18 pieces of shit on the field...

 

[Schulzenfest]

The 'Topes win a game! The 'Topes win a game!

Well done on your first win guys, that last quarter performance made me some money at TAB's expense.

 

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

The boys were inspired by Neeldy's 3/4 time speech:

Nobody expects a 12 goal final quarter! Our chief weapon is surprise!... Surprise and fear... fear and surprise... Our two weapons are fear and surprise... and ruthless efficiency! Our three weapons are fear, and surprise, and ruthless efficiency... and an almost fanatical devotion to the club... Our four... no... Amongst our weapons... Hmf... Amongst our weaponry... are such elements as fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the club, and nice red and blue uniforms.................Oh damn!

 

[Marlowe]

Supporters: Remove the stone of shame--
Neeld: Woo hoo!
Supporters: ... attach the stone of triumph!

 

[2 Dogs]

Supporters: Remove the stone of shame--
Neeld: Woo hoo!
Supporters: ... attach the stone of triumph!

 

[PureFooty]

Jackpot...

 

[PureFooty]

The day Addam Maric was...

 

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

Dan Bates: [gasps] My God, that's monstrous. I've never heard of anything so negligent -- I'll have no part of it!
[turns his back to Craig]
Neil Craig: Can you recommend a doctor who will?
Bates: [turns around again] Yes!
[Dank walks in]
Stephen Dank: Hi everybody!
Craig/Bates: Hi Dr. Dank!

 

[d33my]

Stepping outside the Dees for a moment:

Jobe Watson: Winning games of football was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.

 

[Marlowe]

Dan Bates: [gasps] My God, that's monstrous. I've never heard of anything so negligent -- I'll have no part of it!
[turns his back to Craig]
Neil Craig: Can you recommend a doctor who will?
Bates: [turns around again] Yes!
[Dank walks in]
Stephen Dank: Hi everybody!
Craig/Bates: Hi Dr. Dank!

Dr. Dank: Hi everybody!
PA: Doctor Dank, Doctor Stephen Dank. Please report to the ASADA investigator's office.
Dank: ASADA? I'm so sick of that guy! Well, see in you in the operating place.
[opens the door and is greeted by a reporting mob]
Barrett: Where are the bodies?
[Dank shuts the door]
Dank: Such a beautiful day. I think I'll go out the window.
[does so]

 

[d33my]

Clark waits in the doctor's room.

Doc: I'm sorry Mitch, that leg's going to have to come off. [Mitch gasps]
Doc: Ha, ha, ha. Did I say "leg"? I meant those football shorts. I'm afraid you'll need a cast on that broken bone.
Clark: Aw, I'm going to miss the whole season.
Pederson: Don't worry, Mitch. When you're as bad as me, you'll miss every season.

 

[Supermercado]

I've got no time for a humorous post, just simply to say that Pedersen and Rodan can be put in the same burlap sack as Gillies and pushed out to sea.

 

[d33my]

I've got no time for a humorous post, just simply to say that Pedersen and Rodan can be put in the same burlap sack as Gillies and pushed out to sea.

What? And waste a perfectly good sack?

 

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

I've got no time for a humorous post, just simply to say that Pedersen and Rodan can be put in the same burlap sack as Gillies and pushed out to sea.

Then we roll them up in a carpet and throw them off a bridge!

 

[Sir Hugh Percy]

Grrr! Trying to upload a picture of the guy from Fargo pushing Steve Buschemi's leg down in the wood chipper an with Neeld's face pasted over his, but I keep getting an error.

 

[Topkent]

We should be charged with damaging the earth

Cuz we can't even recycle properly

Rodan, gillies , macdonald, pedo,