The Da Metriou Code

[royboy2]

Who's mum happens to be the sister of the greatest player OF ALL TIME. (pictured here killing a Tassie player)

.

How long have Richmond been Tassie?

 

[D_One]

Who is responsible for the Camry Crows getting two undeserved premierships?

The hint to solving this mystery lies in the Teutonic heritage of South Australia and the word “underserve”. “Under serve” is a transliteration of “unter aufschlag” the old German name for an underarmed serve in Tennis. A famous under server was Bob Hewitt, who would often cheekily serve an underarm during Davis Cup dead rubbers. Bob Hewitt was born in Dubbo but married a South African girl and moved to the republic where he became a citizen and represented the apartheid governed country. Hewitt had a successful doubles career but is most remembered for being part of South Africa’s victorious 1974 Davis Cup team. South Africa somehow made the final after beating Colombia (??) and Italy (???) and faced India in the final. India refused to play against South Africa and South Africa was awarded the Davis Cup without serving a single ball.

When it comes to an Australian born tennis player named Hewitt celebrating an undeserved victory you immediately think of little Lleyton.

And when you think of Lleyton you think of a huge Australian knob. But is Lleyton the biggest Australian knob around? In an animate sense yes but in an inanimate sense there is also **** Rock at Barrington Tops.

And when you hear Barrington Tops you think of the top grossing Australian movie of 1972 about a character called Barrington Bradman Bing McKenzie. Yes “The Adventures of Barry McKenzie” is a cultural icon amongst Australian cinematic creations. The story is about young Australian Bazza’s trip to England as part of his cultural enlightenment but in fact Bazza’s swearing, excessive drinking, vomiting, rowdiness and other crassness educates the Pom’s instead.

And when you think of a yobbo teaching us how to swear, drink and be crass you have to think of Full Frontal’s Poida. Twenty years after “Bazza McKenzie” Eric Bana revived the essence of the yobbo character although he updated it to make him a bit more bogan and a bit more slimy with the females.

And when you hear the words Eric and slimy mentioned together you think of none other than Eric the Eel. Eric Moussambani from Equatorial Guinea won his qualifying freestyle heat at the 2000 Sydney Olympics mostly because he didn’t drown. When all other contestants were disqualified for breaking Eric had to swim the race alone. Using a stroke that closely resembled the doggy paddle Eric managed to just fall short of the 200m world record … which really wasn’t that impressive as it was a 100m heat. However, he set a new personal best, an Equatoguinean national record and he did win the heat.

And when you think of Guinea and race you think of the horse race the Thousand Guineas held at Caulfield Racecourse in October. A race for three year old fillies the first thing you notice is that horses with “Miss” in their the names are the most common winners. There was Tango Miss in 1970, Magical Miss in 2001 and the most recent being Miss Finland in 2006.

And when you hear the words Miss Finland and 2006 you don’t think a four legged critter with big teeth. You think of a two legged critter with a sash and an abundance of hairspray. Miss Finland 2006 was Ninni Laaksonen.

Now most people would think that Ninni Laaksonen was a popular winner in Finland, but she was not. The Finnish populace was disappointed to find out the early favourite 18 yo Kiira Korpi was forced to pull out due to her Ice Figure Skating commitments. Kiira has since gone on to have a stella career in ice skating and regularly features highly in “most beautiful women in world sports” polls. All this means that Ninni Laaksonen was probably a lucky winner in 2006.

And when you think of ice skating and lucky winners you think of none other than Steven Bradbury. Bradbury admitted that his 2002 Olympic tactic was to stay back and hope that the others fell over in front of him. With one contestant getting disqualified in the quarter final Bradbury was a lucky qualifier for the semi final. With several contestants falling over in the semi final Bradbury was lucky to qualify for the final … and we all know what happens next. As a consequence of becoming an Australian sporting icon Bradbury was recently inducted into the Sport Hall of Fame.

And when you hear Bradbury and Hall you think of the Bradbury Aircraft Hall in the Australian War Memorial, Canberra housing the Deperdussin Trainer, the RAAF's first aeroplane. These plane were used for surveillance during the Gallipoli campaign by the Turkish air force but did little to stop the ANZACs from repelling the counter attacks by the Turkish forces.

When it comes to repelling the Turks none did it better than Vlad III, Prince of Wallachia, more commonly known as Vlad the Impaler. After years of capture and abuse by the Ottoman Turks Vlad III developed an unhealthy hatred of the Turks and in later years whenever the Turkish envoys were sent to collect tax from him he would take their money and impale them by taking a oiled stake about as wide as a burly man's arm, and inserting it through the victims buttocks.

And when you hear the name Vlad, money-taking and reaming people you think of Vlad the AFL impaler, aka Gomez, aka Andrew-bloody-Demetriou.

So from this sequence of events showing a lot of lucky winners it can be conclusively shown that it is all Andrew Demetriou’s fault that the Camry Crows have two undeserved premierships.

 

[Team DJ]

^^^^^
Far to long D One need to be to the point.

Who is to blame for the Power losing by 119.

Port lost by 119

They have a supporter called D One

Who is nicknamed D119

Which is in reference to the amount of points Port were beaten by.

Therefore D One is to blame fore Ports loss

 

[The Dodger]

And when you hear the words Miss Finland and 2006 you don’t think a four legged critter with big teeth. You think of a two legged critter with a sash and an abundance of hairspray. Miss Finland 2006 was Ninni Laaksonen.

Now most people would think that Ninni Laaksonen was a popular winner in Finland, but she was not. The Finnish populace was disappointed to find out the early favourite 18 yo Kiira Korpi was forced to pull out due to her Ice Figure Skating commitments. Kiira has since gone on to have a stella career in ice skating and regularly features highly in “most beautiful women in world sports” polls. All this means that Ninni Laaksonen was probably a lucky winner in 2006.

Thank you for a bit of history about Finland. Any more pics... I mean history?
Always good to show a bit of Fin. Perhaps a bit more should be shown more often.

Thought I would clean up your post for you so that what is important does not get lost.

 

[OmniFlog]

S*** thread, my ballsack has created better things than this, and I am not a father hoo hoo

 

[Stronzo]

S*** thread, my ballsack has created better things than this, and I am not a father hoo hoo

No, you're just a little loser with too much free time

 

[OmniFlog]

No, you're just a little loser with too much free time

That's me alright! Can we be friends?

 

[Stronzo]

That's me alright!

It really is.

 

[OmniFlog]

It really is.

Fascinating, brain-bending response.

I can see we are going to get along just fine

 

[clogwearer]

Fascinating, brain-bending response.

I can see we are going to get along just fine

Get cracking hoo hoo.

 

[STC]

Who is responsible for the Camry Crows getting two undeserved premierships?

Pretty sure the correct answer is Ken McIntyre, but OK.

 

[davywap]

Why was this thread un-stickied?

The title of this thread is a spoof of former Number One New York Times bestselling book 'The Da Vinci Code':

This book was later adapted into a major motion picture. The female leading role in the film was played by French actress Audrey Tautou:

The French capital city is Paris, which is also the given name of Paris Hilton, daughter of a billionaire hotel mogul and world-renowned dirty skank:

Of recent times, a new Hilton-inspired dirty skank has emerged in Melbourne and is most commonly known as the St.Kilda schoolgirl. Her claim to fame is offering herself to AFL footballers and occasionally their managers and then publicising her exploits to any media outlet that will listen:

Her nickname "St.Kilda Schoolgirl" comes from the fact that she has concentrated her attention mainly on the St.Kilda football club:

St.Kilda FC are most famous for being perennial losers, arguably having the worst record in the VFL/AFL history with 26 spoons and only 1 premiership all the way back in 1966. More recently, they have become famous for being a big bunch of whining toss-bags.

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT, THIS THREAD WAS UN-STICKIED BECAUSE OF A BIG BUNCH OF WHINING TOSS-BAGS!!!

 

[Bender_]

Who's responsible for the pea-hearted squibbs that Carlton have selected with their #1 picks?

Here we have the 3 duds; Marc Murphy, Matthew Kreuzer and Bryce Gibbs:

Dan Murphy's - a liquor retailer was a major sponsor of the Carlton FC:

A popular spirit is Austin Nichols Wild Tukey:

Michelle Wild is a sweet piece of ace, a pr0n star originally from Hungary, able to have multiple orifices filled at one time:

Hungary was once overrun by the Ottoman Empire:

Ottoman is another name for a foot stool:

A foot is a unit of measurement, comprised of 12 inches:

Subway "restaurants" are well known for their footlong subs:

And who holds the record for the most FOOTLONGS eaten in a single sitting?

Mike Sheahan passed his wealth of knowledge onto the Blues in helping them with their spud pics!

 

[GuzzLG]

Who is responsible for Collingwood winning the flag in 2010?

Mick Malthouse is widely regarded as one of the best coaches in the league having achieved great success for over 20 years. Who recently won the best and fairest at his club?

Dane Swan had a great year. Led the league in disposals and won the MVP award. His footballing ability would help any side achieve success. He plays with...

Scott Pendlebury who is one of the premier young midfielders in the league. He was best on ground in the Grand Final replay which undoubtledy helped the Pies win the flag. He was drafted to the club by...

Derek Hine who has put together the vast majority of Collingwood's current list with astute trading and drafting.

A combination of excellent players, coaches and footballing staff were responsible for Collingwood winning the flag last year!

 

[Schulzenfest]

New life goal: Marry Kiira Korpi.

 

[Bayer_]

Every so often a mystery appears, that demands the insight that can only be provided by the Da Metriou Code.....

What really caused Buddy to jump ships to Sydney after last year's grand final?

Buddy is famous for his somewhat dubious kicking 'arc' when taking set shots

Joan of Arc was a nutcase military leader burned at the stake

Brent Renouf was burnt by falling into a bonfire on the beach at New Year's eve

Eve Night Club is known to host Chris Judd

Who has rorted the salary cap through Visy

Who manufacture soft drink cans

Which are most commonly used to hold Coca Cola

Hmmmm.... something to do with coke and/or COLA???

Beats me....

 

[Bender_]

Nice.

Hey Fyfie_ can we add this one to the 'vintage' collection? Always been a big fan of it myself.

 

[Starburns_]

Nice.

Hey Fyfie_ can we add this one to the 'vintage' collection? Always been a big fan of it myself.

You have the power, and unlike Wonna, no one will ever know.

 

[Hodgepodge]

Why is Andrew Da Metriou getting rid of the bump?

Da Metriou is Greek.

Greeks hate bumping shit together, and also Turks.

Oh, and this happened.

 

[Bender_]

You have the power, and unlike Wonna, no one will ever know.

Yeah but I'd like to know if others are in agreeance with my proposal.