The Da Metriou Code

[Bayer_]

A lot of people have pointed to conspiracies surrounding the AFL’s most voluble leader, Andy D. Whilst often brushed aside as paranoia, the movements of Tsar Vlad can be traced through the intricate system separation, known as the Da Metriou Code.
An example:
Who’s responsible for Brendan Fevola’s gambling problems?
Brendan’s problems spun out of control by playing casino games.


A popular casino game is blackjack

Jack’s last tour

Billy Connolly’s Tour of Australia

Billy Tea

Puffing Billy

Puffing Reefer

Reef Shark

Great White Shark

Greg Norman is responsible for Brendan Fevola’s gambling problems! Who would have thought?!

 

 

[Bulldog1954]

Oh dear

 

[Bayer_]

A lot of speculation has surrounded the spectacular fall from grace of arguably football’s most popular player manager, Mr. Ricky Nixon. Who set him up?

Ricky Nixon shares his name with a famous US President, Richard M. Nixon

Nixon was succeeded in the presidency by Gerry Ford

Ford shared his name with a famous motor company

Ford Motor Company is a long term sponsor of the Geelong Football Club

Whose coach was Mark Thompson – Bomber Thompson was hired by Vlad to set Ricky Nixon up!
No wonder he's looking so shifty in this picture.

 

[Byron_Clanger]

 

[kreuze_missile]

Shit thread, Hodgepodge would be good at this though.

 

[Bayer_]

Why has Bulldog1954 never created a thread on the Bay?

Bulldog1954 takes his name from the year 1954 premiership, the only instance of the Bulldogs every experiencing any form of success in their tragic history.

John Brumby was handed the premiership from Steve Bracks; a consolation prize for another would-be contender with a tragic history of failure.

A Brumby is a type of horse, as is the creature pictured here

Who is in a relationship with this man

Who plays for this club

Whose entire team have no balls

QED Bulldog1954 has never started a thread, because he has no balls.

 

[Bombers 2003]

This^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
bwahahaha









Vox et Praetera nihil

 

[Bender_]

Who's responsible for putting Crazy Vossy in charge of Brisbane and their resultant fall from grace?

Michael Voss has ginger pubes:

A popular TV show with a fanta pants as the lead character - CSI: Miami

Le Bron James plays for Miami Heat:

James Bond was created by Albert Broccolli:

Brocolli is a healthy addition to any diet:

McDonalds menu does not have a single item that contains broccoli:

Mcdonalds is a major sponsor of the Collingwood FC:

and the President of the Collingwood FC is:

So Eddie is responsible for the appointment of Michael Voss as head coach of Brisbane and their resulting demise!

 

[kwame]

Wtf is this shit???

 

[Bayer_]

LOL nice one Bender.

 

[ThePuppetMaster]

underrated thread, 5 stars

 

[Bender_]

Who's responsible for the back stabbing of Matthew Knights and his inevitable sacking from Essendon?

Matthew Knights:

The knights of the Round Table was headed by Sir Lancelot:

Sir Lancelot was close friends with the wizard Merlin who was immortalised as a disney character:

Walt Disney was a notorius Nazi sympathizer:

After the Nazis were defeated the Berlin Wall was constructed:

Robert Walls:

Carlton FC:

Sticks Kernahan:

So Sticks is responsible for the sacking of Matthew Knights so the Blues equal 16 flags could not be surpassed by the Bombers!

 

[Tyler Durden007]

Absolute quality boys

I'll be back later with my own Da Metriou Code additions.

I'm going early, this is a sticky

 

[Bender_]

Who's responsible for the drafting blunder that is Jack Watts?

Jask Watts:

Naomi Watts:

Most famous for her role in The Ring - a film where a child is thrown in a well:

Daniel Wells:

Western Australian produce:

Produce farmer:

WCE FC:

Pharmaceuticals:

The Pharmacist:

So Worsfold is responsible for the Jack Watts draft blunder!

 

[Bayer_]

The North Melbourne Football Club has gone from lean times to near insolvency over the past few years. Despite promises of an off-field recovery, they still find themselves on the precipice.

Who is responsible for their ongoing woes?

The NMFC's President is James Brayshaw

Who - despite his inability to make it to test level - once faced some deliveries by some of the great fast bowlers of the West Indies

Whose geographical name came via the mistaken premise of early explorers that they had arrived in India

Whose people are very wary to provide public transport to this man

Who shares his surname with this woman

Who's romantically involved with this former cricketing great

Who played alongside this man

A known North Melbourne fan and multi-millionaire who's not prepared to shell out his hard earned to keep the Kangaroos afloat. North's ongoing financial woes are caused by their own pissweak supporters!!!

 

[ThePuppetMaster]

Naomi Watts:

would hit

 

[Bender_]

Who's responsible for the continuation of the spud Richard Tambling's career at Adelaide?

Richard Tambling:

Tambling's nick name is "bling" - slang by hip hop artists for jewellery:

Jewellery is made by a company called Tiffany's:

Perhaps made famous by the film "Breakfast at Tiffany's" starring Audrey Hepburn:

Pancakes are an awesome but unhealthy breakfast:

Pancakes are usually served with maple syrup:

And there's only one fatty in the AFL that has maple syrup running through his veins:

So the Tsar himself is responsible for the continuation of "Bling's" career!

 

[Dan]

Who is responsible for giving Kelli Underwood an opportunity to call games?

*Kelli Underwood*

*Kelly Osborne* Goth punk who can't sing....has brother jack...parents Ozzy & Sharon.

*Sharon Stone* Can't act to save herself......known for spreading her legs in this scene in Basic Instinct.

*St Kilda school girl* She spread them for Sam Gilbert

*Gottfried Gilbert* Jewish comedian known for the voice of Iago in Aladdin

*Aladdin*

In conclusion......I find this arabian.....flying carpet....terrorist to be responsible for giving Kelli Underwood a gig at calling AFL games

 

[Bender_]

How does O'hailpin keep getting games at Carlton?

O'hailpin:

Native to the Emerald Isle:

The inhabitants love a pint of Guinness:

Guinness world records:

A farce of an accomplishment/award, much like last years Brownlow:

Held at the Crown Casino:

Where Fev was ejected before training with Casey:

Who are allowing him to play due to lack of respect for the Melbourne FC:

And who is the least respected member of this institution? King of Failure Dean Bailey of course:

So Bail's is to blame for the Spuddy Mcspudspud O'hailpin getting a game!

 

[Snoochems]

Billy Connolly’s Tour of Australia

 

That is not Billy Connolly. I'll give you points if you can tell me who it is. Hint: he's a million times more funnier than both Billy and yourself combined.

 

[Bayer_]

That is not Billy Connolly. I'll give you points if you can tell me who it is. Hint: he's a million times more funnier than both Billy and yourself combined.

You dick head. I know it's Shaun Micallef. If you knew anything about his work, you'd know his parody of the Big Yin from his Full Frontal days.

 

[IAMJUNGLEMUFFIN]

Bayer clearly works as a consultant for a step by step instruction guide company.

Anyways:

+

+

=

 

[Bender_]

Why are Fremantle FC so starved of success?

The Fremantle FC, whose jumper portrays an anchor:

An anchor stops a ship from drifting:

"Ship" rhymes with "shit" which most do in a toilet and is flushed away:

Flushed Away is a delightful childrens romp where the main characters are rats:

The rat is a rodent, a relative of the chipmunk:

And who closely resembles a chipmunk and is a piece of cheating scum?

Brett Ratten is responsible for the Dockers lack of success!

 

[PieBeast]

A National symbol for failure

Their most marketable player

The face of

Legendary Aussie Rules Footballer Clive Waterhouse

His namesake and great Horror Writer Clive Barker

One of his famous short stories

Ladies and Gents I give you the man behind St Kilda supporters unbearable misery

 

[Bender_]

His namesake and great Horror Writer Clive Barker

Does anyone else think this guy kinda resembles Milney?