CursingFijian
Knight of the Square Table
We're only 2 rounds into Season 33 and the league is already awash with superlatives for the better performed players. Brilliant. Magnificent. Delicious. We have all heard them before. A wise qootballer once proclaimed "If history repeats itself, we can expect the same thing again." And I regret to inform you that nothing has changed.
The midfielders bask in the limelight every week after having their sizeable egos pumped up on Sunday, bloody Sundays. They prance about and playfully jostle each other while trying to inconspiciously sneak into prime position for their annual pursuit of a Mobbs medal. Stale jokes about leather poisoning abound, and much back slapping and bum patting ensues. Midfielders continue to be the biggest beneficaries of the SIM, racking up plenty of the pill. Not because of any extraordinary athletic ability or qootballing skill, but simply by being named in the middle.
The rucks have their very own cafe lounge where they engage each other in insightful conversation about important cultural and socio-economic issues of the day, while sipping on their soy lattes. Should Clarke money be devalued to attract more tourists from the cricket board? Does PMBangers have the capacity to run an admin, despite his abject failings as a captain? And will a BOMBERS match thread ever be rated below average? Who are we kidding? We're not the brightest bunch down in ruckland and most of us are prone to guffawing at the simplest things, like slang words for body parts. Drop the words dick pillow, nardledanglers and meaty kiwis in the chat and watch the pandemonium unfold.
And don't get me started on the forwards. The sort that doff their imaginary hats and tug at their bleached forlocks, before glancing sideways at themselves on the big screen as they run in for the set shot. Always late out to the warmup because they needed that little bit of extra time in front of the mirror to make sure their socks were perfectly symmetrical and their shorts suitably shrunk. We all know who you are, don't we Bonz! Counting the milestones to your 1000th goal, or whatever. I mean who really cares? Can we talk about the bazillion gimmees that got away?
Well, I am pleased to say the time has come to reclaim the glory and return it to the forgotten soldiers who toil in the trenches every week. Who sacrifice their access to the qooty to ensure that opponents are leashed and kept in tight check. Who throw their bodies at the ball in order to save a goal, and expect no gratitude. It's time for the simple courageous defender to step out of the shadows and into the spotlight and be acknowledged for putting themselves in the toughest positions week in and week out. When the coach laments "DO SOMETHING", it's always the burly defenders who roll up their sleeves and show the way.
Welcome Sweet citizens to THE DEFENDERS CURSE, a thread for defenders, about defenders. I will be laying down a weekly review of defensive performances backed up by the most up to date statistical analysis available on the market today. All provided by the wonderful staff at BAGHDATA. Stay tuned for in depth interviews with S33's leading defensive talents, and other razor sharp insights into the rough and tumble of the defenders world.
At the end of the season the best performed and most effective defensive talents will be acknowledged and rewarded for their courage, commitment and talent. The cream is rising ladies and gents, as it always does. be sure not to miss out.
The midfielders bask in the limelight every week after having their sizeable egos pumped up on Sunday, bloody Sundays. They prance about and playfully jostle each other while trying to inconspiciously sneak into prime position for their annual pursuit of a Mobbs medal. Stale jokes about leather poisoning abound, and much back slapping and bum patting ensues. Midfielders continue to be the biggest beneficaries of the SIM, racking up plenty of the pill. Not because of any extraordinary athletic ability or qootballing skill, but simply by being named in the middle.
The rucks have their very own cafe lounge where they engage each other in insightful conversation about important cultural and socio-economic issues of the day, while sipping on their soy lattes. Should Clarke money be devalued to attract more tourists from the cricket board? Does PMBangers have the capacity to run an admin, despite his abject failings as a captain? And will a BOMBERS match thread ever be rated below average? Who are we kidding? We're not the brightest bunch down in ruckland and most of us are prone to guffawing at the simplest things, like slang words for body parts. Drop the words dick pillow, nardledanglers and meaty kiwis in the chat and watch the pandemonium unfold.
And don't get me started on the forwards. The sort that doff their imaginary hats and tug at their bleached forlocks, before glancing sideways at themselves on the big screen as they run in for the set shot. Always late out to the warmup because they needed that little bit of extra time in front of the mirror to make sure their socks were perfectly symmetrical and their shorts suitably shrunk. We all know who you are, don't we Bonz! Counting the milestones to your 1000th goal, or whatever. I mean who really cares? Can we talk about the bazillion gimmees that got away?
Well, I am pleased to say the time has come to reclaim the glory and return it to the forgotten soldiers who toil in the trenches every week. Who sacrifice their access to the qooty to ensure that opponents are leashed and kept in tight check. Who throw their bodies at the ball in order to save a goal, and expect no gratitude. It's time for the simple courageous defender to step out of the shadows and into the spotlight and be acknowledged for putting themselves in the toughest positions week in and week out. When the coach laments "DO SOMETHING", it's always the burly defenders who roll up their sleeves and show the way.
Welcome Sweet citizens to THE DEFENDERS CURSE, a thread for defenders, about defenders. I will be laying down a weekly review of defensive performances backed up by the most up to date statistical analysis available on the market today. All provided by the wonderful staff at BAGHDATA. Stay tuned for in depth interviews with S33's leading defensive talents, and other razor sharp insights into the rough and tumble of the defenders world.
At the end of the season the best performed and most effective defensive talents will be acknowledged and rewarded for their courage, commitment and talent. The cream is rising ladies and gents, as it always does. be sure not to miss out.
Ophidian Old Boys
