The Dog Days of August Thread - now with 100% more team previews

What is your favourite part of the off-season?

  • The Draft

    Votes: 2 16.7%
  • Free Agency

    Votes: 2 16.7%
  • Not having to watch my team suck

    Votes: 1 8.3%
  • New Uniforms (/peternorth)

    Votes: 1 8.3%
  • Spending time with my significant other (inc. Tinder dates)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Laughing at the Knicks

    Votes: 3 25.0%
  • Watching the *stars* flock to play international tournaments

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Robust discussion on Bigfooty

    Votes: 3 25.0%

  • Total voters
    12

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May 23, 2012
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The "Kardashian Curse is Real" Non All-stars


#6 Lamar Odom




722921


Hey Kobe, have you heard the one about you having twelve more All-defensive team nominations than me?


Sometimes, supporting cast members are overvalued (see Williams, Mo). And then sometimes, just sometimes, they never really get their due. Meet Lavar Joseph Odom.

If you google 'Lamar Odom' now, you'll get a bunch of photos and links to his new girlfriend or TMZ stories that will bleed your brain dry in seconds. The focus on his Kardashian misadventures, coupled with his near-death experience a few years back, is almost enough to make you forget that Odom was a professional basketball player... and a damn good one at that.

Part of the reason Odom joins our list of the most criminally undervalued is that putting up insane scoring numbers was never his thing. He had the talent to do it, if he'd really wanted to - but instead, the Candy Man's game was one of quiet all-around excellence. And the odd scoring outburst too...






To some Odom might have fallen into the category of 'jack of all trades, master of none', but the truth of the matter is that he was excellent in almost every facet of the game. At 6'10 he was perfectly capable of mixing it up in the lane, but he also had the ball handling skills and passing vision of a guard. Meanwhile defensively he was capable of guarding anyone 1-5, which makes his complete lack of All-Defensive nominations almost as absurd as his perennial All-star snubs.

What's most forgotten about Odom is that he was almost the perfect supporting star (as was Pau Gasol in many ways) to Kobe Bryant during the Lakers 2.0 era, including back to back championships in 2009 & 10. A guy who didn't care about his shot attempts, or even his starting job (in fact the only thing he seemed to care about was playing in Los Angeles), L.O. was the consummate team-man... and the consummate snubbed All-star.
 
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The 'All-Fraud on and off the court" All-stars


#6 Chris Gatling




722968


And they thought that LeBron invented wearing a headband to hide male pattern baldness!


Before there was Montrezl Harrell, there was Chris Gatling.

If gaudy scoring numbers on bad teams maketh the All-star, then The Gatling Gun is your star witness. A career bench big, the man known as 'The Energizer' earned his nickname by stuffing the stat sheet in limited minutes. While he'd grab his fair share of rebounds and notch up some spectacular swats, it was Gatling's propensity for buckets that brought him whatever attention he captured. A natural southpaw, the lithe lefty had a knack for scoring in heavy traffic, and also possessed a half-hook from the post that was almost impossible to block.

Still, while he was a valuable reserve of those Warrior Run-TMC teams, Gatling was never able to nail down a starting job on a team infamously short on quality bigs. He was probably remembered for this moment more than anything...





... before Dallas threw him a sizable contract in the wild, wild off-season of 1996.

Gatling's lone All-star selection in 1997 came in particularly hilarious circumstances. While Gatling was prolific that season, putting up 25 & 10 per 36 minutes, the Mavs were horrible and in the midst of a remarkable season in which they would trade away all their young Triple-J core (Kidd, Jackson & Mashburn) in separate deals and ended up using 27 different players. Gatling was traded in one of those deals, a mere week after his first All-star appearance, sent to the Nets with Sam Cassell and Jim Jackson among others.

Injuries would then plague Gatling, not only ending his season but hobbling the remainder of his career too. For a guy who relied on athletic ability as much as technique, this was bad news for Gatling as his scoring efficiency plummeted during the second half of his career.

Without his freak All-star selection, Gatling might best remembered as quality reserve big, one who could dominate opposing bench bigs with his motor and unorthodox scoring prowess. Instead he's now part of our list of fraud All-stars, a title that seems quite apt as our own peternorth has kindly pointed out.
 
The "Kardashian Curse is Real" Non All-stars


#6 Lamar Odom




View attachment 722921

Hey Kobe, have you heard the one about you having twelve more All-defensive team nominations than me?


Sometimes, supporting cast members are overvalued (see Williams, Mo). And then sometimes, just sometimes, they never really get their due. Meet Lavar Joseph Odom.

If you google 'Lamar Odom' now, you'll get a bunch of photos and links to his new girlfriend or TMZ stories that will bleed your brain dry in seconds. The focus on his Kardashian misadventures, coupled with his near-death experience a few years back, is almost enough to make you forget that Odom was a professional basketball player... and a damn good one at that.

Part of the reason Odom joins our list of the most criminally undervalued is that putting up insane scoring numbers was never his thing. He had the talent to do it, if he'd really wanted to - but instead, the Candy Man's game was one of quiet all-around excellence. And the odd scoring outburst too...






To some Odom might have fallen into the category of 'jack of all trades, master of none', but the truth of the matter is that he was excellent in almost every facet of the game. At 6'10 he was perfectly capable of mixing it up in the lane, but he also had the ball handling skills and passing vision of a guard. Meanwhile defensively he was capable of guarding anyone 1-5, which makes his complete lack of All-Defensive nominations almost as absurd as his perennial All-star snubs.

What's most forgotten about Odom is that he was almost the perfect supporting star (as was Pau Gasol in many ways) to Kobe Bryant during the Lakers 2.0 era, including back to back championships in 2009 & 10. A guy who didn't care about his shot attempts, or even his starting job (in fact the only thing he seemed to care about was playing in Los Angeles), L.O. was the consummate team-man... and the consummate snubbed All-star.


Didn’t our man “Sugar” Shane Mead love LO and his point forward skills?
 

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The "In the shadow of Michael Jordan" Non All-stars


#5 Ron Harper



723514


A bald 90s Chicago shooting guard with no respect? It happened!


A candidate for most unusual - and interesting - career path of all time goes to our next All-star snub, Ron Harper.

Harper burst on to the scene in the late 80s in Cleveland, unluckily losing out to Chuck Person for the '87 Rookie of the Year award and playing a big part in the ascent of a young and loaded Cavaliers squad. As the higher seed in 1989, the Cavaliers famously lost in the first round to that shot by Michael Jordan.

This was the first of many intriguing links and subplots between the GOAT and Harper. For in many ways the Ohio Flyer's game superficially resembled Jordan's - with a similar height and build, he was an all action guard with a shaky outside shot who stuffed the stat sheet and was a terror at the defensive end.





Harper's first major career twist came a few months after that playoff series, when the Cavs achieved the rare distinction of having Donald Sterling's Clippers pull their pants down in a trade - Harper and two first round picks were sent to LA's 'other' team in return for Danny Ferry. Whoops. It might be fair to say that the trade cost Cleveland the chance of a championship over the next few years, considering the Cavs got within two games of a Finals appearance in '92.

Soon after, Harper's career was thrown another curve-ball when he tore both his ACL and his knee cartilage. While he managed to return to the Clippers and resume his All-star level output, it's fair to say that Harper was never the same athletic monster again.

After doing what all good players did in those days and bolting the Clippers as soon as he could, Harper then signed for... the Bulls, who in 1994 were short one shooting guard. However what could have been a dream job quickly became a nightmare, as Harper was ill-suited for the triangle and was quickly banished to Phil Jackson's doghouse. You-know-who's return in early 1995 seemed to confirm that Harp's Chicago career would be a short one.

But then a funny thing happened - a career scorer suddenly transformed his game to become a (nominal) point guard and designated defensive stopper. Six years later, and Harper had five championship rings and - even more incredibly - a well-deserved reputation as a Phil Jackson favourite in two cities.

And while he is probably best remembered now for his late career selflessness, it's probably worth remembering that a young Ron Harper was a seriously good, do-everything player... and a worthy inclusion on our All-star snub list.
 
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The "How the Hell did they make the same mistake twice?!" All-stars


#5 Kevin Duckworth




724025


Legend has it Duck chose his uniform number based on the number of All-star votes he should have received.


It's not this thread's way to speak ill of the dead. By all reports, Kevin Duckworth (RIP) was a fine human being who made a nice career for himself as a former second round draft pick. Hell, he was the starting centre on a fabulous Portland team that could (and probably should) have won at least one championship.

Unfortunately the long months without hoops have made your humble writer irritable, and thus nobody will be spared the acid. And when it comes to the man they called 'Duck', the numbers sadly don't stack up.

Duckworth was a throwback, a wide-body with a sometimes unorthodox but strangely effective back to the basket game. In his prime he put up about 17 points and 7 boards per game, on a variety of spin moves, hooks and bizarre looking shot-put style 'jump' shots.






And while he wasn't a great rebounder or defender, Duckworth was blessed enough to play on a team that could both use his post scoring and cover for his weaknesses. With huge wings in Drexler, Kersey and 'Uncle' Cliff Robinson and board man and defensive savant Buck Williams starting at PF, the 1989-92 Blazers were a suffocating defensive team and absolute monsters on the boards. The fit with Duckworth just worked, hence the big fella being elected an All-star in 1989, and repeating the trick again in 1991.

Unfortunately though, the numbers for Big Kev just didn't stack up. For a big man whose specialty was scoring buckets, his career TS% was a decidedly sup-par 51%. Never a natural passer, Duck was prone to his share of turnovers too. And it's fair to say that Duck was never the nimblest on his feet when it came to guarding the lane at the other end of the court. PER is a stat that is often very kind to big men, but Duckworth posted a career PER of 11.9, and never so much as posted a PER of 15 in his career - not even in his prime, All-star years. In the playoffs he fared even worse, posting a staggeringly low career PER of just 9.1 and a TS% of 48... hardly what one would expect from a supposedly elite player.

The big man's career kind of fell off a cliff after the Blazers lost the '92 Finals, as he became an even wider body and quickly fell out of favour. Duckworth will always be remember fondly by Blazer fans for his part in a glorious era, but it's extremely hard to make a case for him as an All-star over guys in his 1986 Draft Class (Ron Harper, Drazen Petrovic & Arvydas Sabonis say hello), or even other players on his own team (the underrated Jerome Kersey, vale).

Sometimes big, big men get big, big rewards... two-time All-star Kevin Duckworth could certainly attest to that.
 
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The "Ripped (Off)" Non All-stars


#4 Mike Bibby




724886



When it came to Mike, the All-star selectors decided to... pass.



Coming in at #4 on our list of the criminally unloved is the Sacramento sniper, Mike Bibby.

Something of a harbinger for the golden age of fire-breathing point guards such as Curry and Lillard that followed, Bibby cut his teeth in the forgotten NBA backwater of Vancouver after being selected 2nd in the 1998 Draft. But it was after trading places with Jason Williams and taking the reigns of the league's most prolific offence in Sacramento that the man known as the Bibbinator really came to prominence.

As a point guard and facilitator, Bibby was cool and collected. Perhaps more exceptional was his quickfire release on his jump shot, which he was both capable and willing of releasing from any point on the floor. On the move, off screens or off the dribble, it often didn't seem to matter to the feisty flamethrower.






In his prime years with the Kings, Bibby put up roughly 20 points and 6 assists per night on a perennial playoff team. More than the numbers though, it was Bibby's timing and sense of occasion that stuck longest in the memory. A slew of game-winning shots and strong playoff performances over the years proved that Money Mike shone brightest when the stakes were highest - never more so than during the infamous and epic 2002 Western Conference Finals.

It's hard to pinpoint a reason as to why the Kings' floor general was consistently overlooked as an All-star. The fact that he played within a system offence might have counted against him, as might the fact that he had several All-star teammates (Webber, Stojakovic, Divac, Miller). One also gets the sense that Bibby would be one of those players who would have thrived even more in the modern, floor-spaced NBA.

Bibby has had an... interesting, post-NBA career, but around here we'll always remember him as the little assassin who could (or should - have been an All-star).
 
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The "My selection was as questionable as my porn star name" All-stars


#4 B. J. Armstrong



725432


Hey Mike, why don't you take a year off? I got this.


In at No. 4 in our list of 'what the hell were they thinking?' All-star picks is the baby-faced assassin himself, B.J. Armstrong.

Selected two spots after Dana Barros at pick 18 in the 1989 Draft (they sandwiched some other guy called Shawn Kemp), Armstrong is best remembered for looking like a high school student who snuck on to the court to help the Bulls win their first three-peat.

To be fair, the point guard position for Chicago in the 90s was what I like to call the "don't screw up" position. On a team featuring Jordan, Pippen and an obsession with the triangle that even Pythagoras might have protested, the point guard position essentially demanded that the incumbent; 1) stayed out of the way; 2) didn't turn the ball over, and 3) hit the open jump shot if and when the pass came. And B.J. just happened to pretty good at all of the above.

In particular it was his picture perfect jump shot that proved an increasingly important weapon in the Bulls' arsenal, and Armstrong hit his full compliment of timely clutch shots - especially during the 1993 title run (see 1:48 below).






On the other hand, Armstrong was never anything more than a serviceable starter, mainly for three seasons in Chicago and a further one in Golden State (he refused to show up to Toronto after being selected by the Raptors in the expansion draft - I guess this puts him in another exclusive club with the likes of Steve Francis and Kobe Bryant). 'The Kid' topped out at about 14 points and 4 assists per game during those years. He was efficient with most things he did, shooting an excellent percentage while keeping the turnovers to a minimum. But again, these skills hardly an All-star maketh.

It was during Jordan's mysterious hiatus than Armstrong made his lone All-star selection in 1994. And if you're wondering if it was simply a case of the selectors needing a 12th guy to make up the numbers, well... a picture speaks a thousand words.


725453



If there's one image that could capture the pathos of this exercise, this would be it - yes, a guy who averaged 10 points and 3 assists for his career got more votes than Scottie Pippen, Clyde Drexler, Hakeem Olajuwon, Patrick Ewing, Dominique Wilikins, Alonzo Mourning, Shawn Kemp, Karl Malone, Gary Payton, Mitch Richmond, David Robinson or John Stockton... and that's just from among the group of players who actually made the All-star game that year!

Yes, we might say that B.J. certainly got a 'freebie' that year after the selectors blew it... and a well-earned position on our list of infamy.
 
The "My selection was as questionable as my porn star name" All-stars


#4 B. J. Armstrong



View attachment 725432

Hey Mike, why don't you take a year off? I got this.


In at No. 4 in our list of 'what the hell were they thinking?' All-star picks is the baby-faced assassin himself, B.J. Armstrong.

Selected two spots after Dana Barros at pick 18 in the 1989 Draft (they sandwiched some other guy called Shawn Kemp), Armstrong is best remembered for looking like a high school student who snuck on to the court to help the Bulls win their first three-peat.

To be fair, the point guard position for Chicago in the 90s was what I like to call the "don't screw up" position. On a team featuring Jordan, Pippen and an obsession with the triangle that even Pythagoras might have protested, the point guard position essentially demanded that the incumbent; 1) stayed out of the way; 2) didn't turn the ball over, and 3) hit the open jump shot if and when the pass came. And B.J. just happened to pretty good at all of the above.

In particular it was his picture perfect jump shot that proved an increasingly important weapon in the Bulls' arsenal, and Armstrong hit his full compliment of timely clutch shots - especially during the 1993 title run (see 1:48 below).






On the other hand, Armstrong was never anything more than a serviceable starter, mainly for three seasons in Chicago and a further one in Golden State (he refused to show up to Toronto after being selected by the Raptors in the expansion draft - I guess this puts him in another exclusive club with the likes of Steve Francis and Kobe Bryant). 'The Kid' topped out at about 14 points and 4 assists per game during those years. He was efficient with most things he did, shooting an excellent percentage while keeping the turnovers to a minimum. But again, these skills hardly an All-star maketh.

It was during Jordan's mysterious hiatus than Armstrong made his lone All-star selection in 1994. And if you're wondering if it was simply a case of the selectors needing a 12th guy to make up the numbers, well... a picture speaks a thousand words.


View attachment 725453


If there's one image that could capture the pathos of this exercise, this would be it - yes, a guy who averaged 10 points and 3 assists for his career got more votes than Scottie Pippen, Clyde Drexler, Hakeem Olajuwon, Patrick Ewing, Dominique Wilikins, Alonzo Mourning, Shawn Kemp, Karl Malone, Gary Payton, Mitch Richmond, David Robinson or John Stockton... and that's just from among the group of players who actually made the All-star game that year!

Yes, we might say that B.J. certainly got a 'freebie' that year after the selectors blew it... and a well-earned position on our list of infamy.



giphy.gif
 
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The "Didn't get a fair shake of the sauce bottle, mate" Non All-stars


#3 Andrew Bogut



726062


This didn't hurt as much as my All-star snub.


Call it traditional old fashioned Aussie parochialism. Call it small market syndrome. You can even call it a yearning for the good old days when the big men acted like big men and dominated the paint rather than the three point line.

We'll just call it calling a spade a bloody spade - that Melbourne's own never got the All-star invite that he deserved.

Sometimes it helps to be specific, so in Bogut's case let's get right down to the nitty gritty. Bogut's career was never quite the same after his nightmare dunk fall - of course he still enjoyed a productive and above all winning career as a Golden State Warrior, but that was with a clearly defined role in a high-functioning team. Pre-injury Milwaukee Bogut was a different beast though, with a legitimate back-to-the-basket game.






Ironically enough it was that same 2010 season when he suffered his horrific fall that Bogut had announced himself as an All-star in all but name. Putting up 16 & 10 per night while finishing 2nd in the league in blocked shots, posting a career best PER of nearly 21 and scoring a spot on the All-NBA 3rd team was proof of his rise into the upper echelon of NBA big men. Let it not be forgotten either than 2010 was the year that Allen Iverson was voted an All-star for playing 28 mediocre games before being cut by Philly in March!

What typified Bogut's career most though was not stats or accolades though - it was in doing the little things that help teams win basketball games. One does not necessarily expect a former #1 draft pick to be remembered for doing the gritty stuff - screens, box outs, defensive cover and such - but in many ways Bogut was a throwback to the glory days of dominant big men, who combined raw stats with a commitment to winning games of basketball.


726076



So for being the opposite of those junk-time, empty stats, show pony phoney All-stars we salute Boges with the highest accolade possible - a spot on this very exclusive list of snubbed All-stars.
 
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The "Canadian Counterfeit" All-stars


#3 Jamaal Magloire



726694


We're pretty sure Jamaal used the same powers of telepathy he used to summon this rebound unto him on the All-star selectors too.


Before there was Andrew Wiggins, there was Jamaal Magloire.

Giving a bad name to both Canadian basketball and Hornet big men everywhere (PJ Brown was better), Jamaal somehow managed to turn a career in which he averaged a whole 7 points and 6 boards per game into an All-star invite. If there was ever a candidate for "All-star that nobody remembers", Magloire would be it.

The Hornets selected Magloire at #18 in the God-awful 2000 Draft. After a couple of productive seasons backing up Elden Campbell, the 'Big Cat' finally got his chance to start in 2003. One year later, Magloire was averaging 13 points, 10 boards and 1 block per game... and was an All-star. Holy One-season-wonder, Batman!

It was all downhill from there. One year later, Magloire was traded. Within two years he was back to being a bench big. Within three years he was struggling to even make an NBA roster at age 29. This 'highlight' package pretty much does justice to Jamaal's strange career:





To be fair to the big Canuck, he wasn't a terrible player, particularly early on for the Hornets. He could score the odd bucket, grab his share of rebounds and deliver a hard foul on cue. But borderline starter was about his level - he would often suffer from tunnel vision in the paint, and was hardly an elite defender.

Funnily enough after the Hornets traded him, Jamaal ended up starting alongside a certain Andrew Bogut in Milwaukee in 2005, forming a 'twin towers' of sorts. After one season the Bucks had seen enough and decided that Bogut was the pony to back... if only we could say the same about certain All-star selectors, eh?
 

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The Old Man and the "See if I care if you don't invite me" Non All-stars


#2 Andre Miller




727404


Andre's 8000 (assists) demonstrated his cool, but when it came to props All-star selectors were ice cold.


Our penultimate perennially peeved player is The Professor himself, Andre Miller.

It beggars belief that a man who is 20th all-time in games played, 11th all time in assists (including leading the league in 2002), 38th all time in steals, racked up over 16,000 career points and was four times voted the NBA's player of the week never once got an invite to the All-star game, but here we are.

Miller was drafted at #8 in the 1999 Draft, sandwiched between All-stars Wally Szczerbiak (#6), Rip Hamilton (#7) and Shawn Marion (#9). It took him half a year to earn the starting point guard gig, and by his third year he was leading the league in assists at almost 11 per game, posting a PER of nearly 22, dropping games like this and looking for all the world as an All-star in waiting. The Cavs then decided a tank was in order in anticipation of the 2003 LeBron draft, and Miller was unceremoniously dumped off on the Clippers.

The Professor then spent the prime of his career on good-but-not-great teams in Denver, Philly and Portland, making the playoffs virtually every year but never escaping the first round. In many ways this was an apt analogy for his career, in which Miller was supremely consistent without ever drawing too much attention to himself. Although he did have his moments...






The 'old man' style of game that Miller was famous for probably didn't do much to help garner him All-star favour, but it was both consistently effective and remarkably resilient, allowing Andre a career of great longevity. That pounding dribble and those wily instincts didn't earn Miller many points for aesthetics, but they did ensure that the evergreen point guard was still able to deliver performances like this at the age of 37.

In the end Miller was probably a victim of his own high standards more than anything - when a player enters the league like a veteran and maintains that standard of quiet excellence for over a decade, they tend to get taken for granted. Sometimes it seems it's much better to start low, then pull out a surprise season - much like the next entry on this list...
 
The Old Man and the "See if I care if you don't invite me" Non All-stars


#2 Andre Miller




View attachment 727404

Andre's 8000 (assists) demonstrated his cool, but when it came to props All-star selectors were ice cold.


Our penultimate perennially peeved player is The Professor himself, Andre Miller.

It beggars belief that a man who is 20th all-time in games played, 11th all time in assists (including leading the league in 2002), 38th all time in steals, racked up over 16,000 career points and was four times voted the NBA's player of the week never once got an invite to the All-star game, but here we are.

Miller was drafted at #8 in the 1999 Draft, sandwiched between All-stars Wally Szczerbiak (#6), Rip Hamilton (#7) and Shawn Marion (#9). It took him half a year to earn the starting point guard gig, and by his third year he was leading the league in assists at almost 11 per game, posting a PER of nearly 22, dropping games like this and looking for all the world as an All-star in waiting. The Cavs then decided a tank was in order in anticipation of the 2003 LeBron draft, and Miller was unceremoniously dumped off on the Clippers.

The Professor then spent the prime of his career on good-but-not-great teams in Denver, Philly and Portland, making the playoffs virtually every year but never escaping the first round. In many ways this was an apt analogy for his career, in which Miller was supremely consistent without ever drawing too much attention to himself. Although he did have his moments...






The 'old man' style of game that Miller was famous for probably didn't do much to help garner him All-star favour, but it was both consistently effective and remarkably resilient, allowing Andre a career of great longevity. That pounding dribble and those wily instincts didn't earn Miller many points for aesthetics, but they did ensure that the evergreen point guard was still able to deliver performances like this at the age of 37.

In the end Miller was probably a victim of his own high standards more than anything - when a player enters the league like a veteran and maintains that standard of quiet excellence for over a decade, they tend to get taken for granted. Sometimes it seems it's much better to start low, then pull out a surprise season - much like the next entry on this list...

Excellent nomination. Dre Miller was the little fundamental. Showed up and delivered every night
 
The Old Man and the "See if I care if you don't invite me" Non All-stars


#2 Andre Miller




View attachment 727404

Andre's 8000 (assists) demonstrated his cool, but when it came to props All-star selectors were ice cold.


Our penultimate perennially peeved player is The Professor himself, Andre Miller.

It beggars belief that a man who is 20th all-time in games played, 11th all time in assists (including leading the league in 2002), 38th all time in steals, racked up over 16,000 career points and was four times voted the NBA's player of the week never once got an invite to the All-star game, but here we are.

Miller was drafted at #8 in the 1999 Draft, sandwiched between All-stars Wally Szczerbiak (#6), Rip Hamilton (#7) and Shawn Marion (#9). It took him half a year to earn the starting point guard gig, and by his third year he was leading the league in assists at almost 11 per game, posting a PER of nearly 22, dropping games like this and looking for all the world as an All-star in waiting. The Cavs then decided a tank was in order in anticipation of the 2003 LeBron draft, and Miller was unceremoniously dumped off on the Clippers.

The Professor then spent the prime of his career on good-but-not-great teams in Denver, Philly and Portland, making the playoffs virtually every year but never escaping the first round. In many ways this was an apt analogy for his career, in which Miller was supremely consistent without ever drawing too much attention to himself. Although he did have his moments...






The 'old man' style of game that Miller was famous for probably didn't do much to help garner him All-star favour, but it was both consistently effective and remarkably resilient, allowing Andre a career of great longevity. That pounding dribble and those wily instincts didn't earn Miller many points for aesthetics, but they did ensure that the evergreen point guard was still able to deliver performances like this at the age of 37.

In the end Miller was probably a victim of his own high standards more than anything - when a player enters the league like a veteran and maintains that standard of quiet excellence for over a decade, they tend to get taken for granted. Sometimes it seems it's much better to start low, then pull out a surprise season - much like the next entry on this list...



Just the quintessential meat and potatoes man.

the video brought back fond memories of the Gund Arena. And Lamond Murray.
 
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Just the quintessential meat and potatoes man.

the video brought back fond memories of the Gund Arena. And Lamond Murray.

And ex-Laker Chris Mihm.

I'm still getting over the Jamaal Magloire highlight vid myself. Quite possibly the finest 3 minutes and 26 seconds ever committed to film.
 
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I don't know which part is my favourite... the completely pointless 360 dunk that didn't beat the buzzer, getting sconed by Durant or playing the drums at his own birthday party. Or the hilariously rocking Hispanic soundtrack.

I used to think The Godfather couldn't be topped as a work of art. I thought wrong.
 

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I don't know which part is my favourite... the completely pointless 360 dunk that didn't beat the buzzer, getting sconed by Durant or playing the drums at his own birthday party. Or the hilariously rocking Hispanic soundtrack.

I used to think The Godfather couldn't be topped as a work of art. I thought wrong.

Was that Tractor Traylor congratulating him after the dunk? Man, that Hornets team was stacked.
 
May 23, 2012
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Was that Tractor Traylor congratulating him after the dunk? Man, that Hornets team was stacked.

It certainly was!

I remember being slightly peeved when David West was a rookie and The Tractor kept stealing his minutes.
 
May 23, 2012
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The "Like playing with a loaded shotgun it seemed like a good idea at the time" All-stars


#2 Jayson Williams



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Hands up if you can guess which one of these five guys would become a 20th century All-star?


So, remember when I said that the Andre Miller approach of starting out as a quality pro, continuing as an excellent player, and ending up a respected veteran was not the way to gain All-star attention? Meet Jayson Williams.

To say Jayson Williams had an interesting career would be an understatement. To say that Jayson Williams has had an interesting life would be even more of an understatement.






After being drafted at #21 in the 1990 Draft (story no. 1 of many, see above), Jayson would spend the first five years of his career as a seldom-used bench big with the Sixers and Nets. Slowly over the next two years Williams began to see more time, partly because the Nets blew up their roster, and partly because of his propensity for grabbing boards. Lots and lots of boards.

In 1997-98 New Jersey made an unexpected post-season appearance (they got swept in the first round, but baby steps), leading many to believe that they were a young team on the rise (see the photo above). Jayson put together his best season, finishing 2nd in the league in rebounding, and lifting his offensive game from god-awful to adequate. Unfortunately that's where the fun stopped for the big fella.





The next season he broke his leg in a collision with teammate Stephon Marbury - he would never play again. Instead of racking up boards, Williams began racking up court dates: DWIs, bar room brawls, taserings and his piece de resistance - accidentally shooting dead his limo driver while showing off with a loaded shot gun. He might have found time to reminisce about token All-star appearances with his 1998 Net teammate Chris Gatling in the big house.

And while we probably shouldn't be too flippant about Williams's troubles - he had a troubled upbringing, and seems to have genuinely made an attempt to turn his life around of late - this generosity cannot extend to his basketball career.

In short, Williams had a horribly inefficient offensive game and a reputation for lacklustere defence. Sure he almost led the league in rebounding a couple of times, but so could have Reggie Evans if he'd ever played the requisite minutes. One brief shining season among a sea of mediocrity and legal problems - this was enough for Jayson Williams to get an All-star jersey. You'd have to wonder what life-long pros like Andre Miller would make of all that.
 
The "Like playing with a loaded shotgun it seemed like a good idea at the time" All-stars


#2 Jayson Williams



View attachment 728188

Hands up if you can guess which one of these five guys would become a 20th century All-star?


So, remember when I said that the Andre Miller approach of starting out as a quality pro, continuing as an excellent player, and ending up a respected veteran was not the way to gain All-star attention? Meet Jayson Williams.

To say Jayson Williams had an interesting career would be an understatement. To say that Jayson Williams has had an interesting life would be even more of an understatement.






After being drafted at #21 in the 1990 Draft (story no. 1 of many, see above), Jayson would spend the first five years of his career as a seldom-used bench big with the Sixers and Nets. Slowly over the next two years Williams began to see more time, partly because the Nets blew up their roster, and partly because of his propensity for grabbing boards. Lots and lots of boards.

In 1997-98 New Jersey made an unexpected post-season appearance (they got swept in the first round, but baby steps), leading many to believe that they were a young team on the rise (see the photo above). Jayson put together his best season, finishing 2nd in the league in rebounding, and lifting his offensive game from god-awful to adequate. Unfortunately that's where the fun stopped for the big fella.





The next season he broke his leg in a collision with teammate Stephon Marbury - he would never play again. Instead of racking up boards, Williams began racking up court dates: DWIs, bar room brawls, taserings and his piece de resistance - accidentally shooting dead his limo driver while showing off with a loaded shot gun. He might have found time to reminisce about token All-star appearances with his 1998 Net teammate Chris Gatling in the big house.

And while we probably shouldn't be too flippant about Williams's troubles - he had a troubled upbringing, and seems to have genuinely made an attempt to turn his life around of late - this generosity cannot extend to his basketball career.

In short, Williams had a horribly inefficient offensive game and a reputation for lacklustere defence. Sure he almost led the league in rebounding a couple of times, but so could have Reggie Evans if he'd ever played the requisite minutes. One brief shining season among a sea of mediocrity and legal problems - this was enough for Jayson Williams to get an All-star jersey. You'd have to wonder what life-long pros like Andre Miller would make of all that.

Might have been me but always thought JW and Jimmy Jackson were separated at birth
 
May 23, 2012
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The "Vous etes tous des idiots" Non All-stars


#1 Rudy Gobert


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I'm sorry, your request to join the All-star team has been... rejected.


Taking the final spot in our elite team of (supposedly) non-elite players is big Frenchie himself, Rudy Gobert.

The Stifle Tower has been recognised as an elite defender since his second season, after being drafted at #27 in the fabulously backward 2013 Draft. Back to back DPOY awards and three straight All-defensive first team nominations lie testament to this.






At this point you may think to yourself "well, defence is all well and good, but that's not what the All-star game is all about". This ignores two things though.

First, Gobert plays an underrated role for the Jazz at the offensive end. There are no Hakeem spin moves, Kareem sky hooks or Lopez three point bombs, but big Rudy has a career TS% of 65% and PER of 21.5 for a reason - he works damn hard for all those dunks.

Meanwhile it may be true that primarily defensive players don't tend to spark the imagination when it comes to All-star nominations. However it is also true that the following big men, among others - Jamaal Magloire, Jayson Williams, James Donaldson, Mark Eaton, Theo Ratliff, Tyrone Hill and Roy Hibbert - have all been voted All-stars despite possessing little to no offensive games. And that's before we even get to likes of Kevin Duckworth and Chris Gatling, who got voted in on the strength of some hollow offensive numbers. What a morass of mediocrity that list is.

So let us all cry "sacre' bleu" and raise a glass of wine to our final snubbed star, Rudy Gobert.
 
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