Discussion The Endgame - Round 23 Preview/Discussion

Loose at HB

All Australian
Apr 20, 2018
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3,054
Melbourne
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Carlton
They say all good things must come to an end. Clearly, all shit things must do the same. After another year of melting, garbage cash cows and underperforming premos, we have reached the finale of another year of the most rage-inducing fantasy sports game on the planet. This, is the SuperCoach endgame.

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Round 22 was a tough slog for the surviving herd of Coaches as they huddled together, hoping the power of their premos would be enough to protect them from the winds of carnage that had been eerily quiet for the week preceding. Friday night came with a warning; another underwhelming performance from the Gull combined with the tightness of one of the most important hamstrings in the game left the remaining campaigners with a decision to make; fight or flight? Sink or swim? Is Big Maxxxy’s score enough? Or is the Captocalypse among us? The alpha among the group stood up, announcing that this was not the time of year to have a small Chol. Put the big C on Cripps/Fyfe/Neale/Macrae they said, and take your destiny into your own hands.

The bravest of Coaches aiming to inspire their horde

We should have known. The SC gods have never shown mercy in the past. They were not about to start now. One by one, the prospective captain options failed to reach the Bearded One’s mast as the SC gods went about ruthlessly striking down those foolish enough to risk their wrath. The storm had well and truly arrived.

Not even Reggie survived...

Some stood tall, rising up in defiance against the carnage through the use of powerful PODs that seemed to have eluded the usually all-encompassing eyes of the Champion Data overlords. Others simply rode on the coattails of the fabled KOTD, riding the objectively bullshit scores of CD favourites to victory. Yet for every survivor, there was a coach who fell. A coach who had attempted to read the playing field, and yet themselves had been played as many a common player, those formerly believed to be favoured in the eyes of the Gods, failed at the penultimate hurdle to bury those coaches at the very ground beneath their feet. Soon, it would be all over.

To everyone still hanging around here; I imagine you still have something to play for, be it ranking or a cashie GF that you’d really love to get over the line in. I wish each of you the best of luck in your endeavours and I hope that you too can stand up bravely against our apathetic overlords to achieve whatever it is your Chol desires. They will not break us. Onto the games :moustache:

COLLINGWOOD VS ESSENDON
2019 mid-season perma-captain Brodie Grundy recovered from a poor outing last week to put up a solid, premo-quality 126. Much like last week, a Friday night ruckman will be the receiver of the cherished VC for many. Playing against Zac Clarke, basically a potato in human form, one would hope the fabled Manbun can end the season on a high.

Jack Crisp continued his mediocre sub-premo output with an 88 that is bang on his average output for the year. He’d be a fantastic SuperCoacher if he didn’t panic at the sight of his own shadow.

I’d be very interested to get a hold of Adam Treloar’s recent medical history. Formerly unable to hit the broad side of a barn door, the man with the most sturdy haircut in the competition (matched only by Trent Cotchin) delivered another positive DT/SC ratio and a solid 116 to have a few people wondering if the bloke has had recent laser eye surgery.

For the Bombers, Zac Merrett tonned up again with 104, CD somehow determining he had less influence on this game than the one last week where they got smashed by 100 points. I won’t pretend to understand. The only other sort-of-relevant Bomber in Dylan Shiel posted 116.

SYDNEY VS ST KILDA
Jake Lloyd’s late season form has many wondering if he’s decided that it might be a good time to try one of those fad diets given the Swans aren’t in September action. He’s certainly cut out the chips, putting out his 4th sub-100 score in a row and looking nothing like the player that caused many a melt in the early part of the year. Some would suggest his scores now are actually more reflective of his influence…

Isaac Heeney and Horse Longmire went out of their way to show Kent Hinkley and Robbie Gray that they did the whole “park a good mid in the goalsquare” thing first, Isaac barely leaving the F50 on his way to a positively mediocre 78 and pissing many coaches off in the process. He’ll likely get a reprieve again next year given the anticipated loss of many of our best forwards.

For the Saints, Jack Billings churned out another solid score with 96. However, the real story is around his teammate and new CD lovechild, Rowan “The KOTD Prick” Marshall. Despite his opponent being a huge driving force in Carlton’s win and giving him a complete bath after half time, the KOTD King solidified his status at the top of the pile by somehow scoring 111. An inquest into CD headquarters at the time revealed some damning footage;
CD statsmen when Marshall kicks a 35m mongrel punt straight to the opposition

NORTH MELBOURNE VS MELBOURNE
Anyone who owns any North Melbourne player should soon be adding that campaigner Kent Hinkley to their Christmas card list. Todd Goldstein ran absolutely wild on Saturday night, sending Paddy Ryder into a retirement home and Peter Ladhams back to school to post a ridiculous 176 and leave all of us asking the question; “Where the actual fu** is Scott Lycett?”
With question marks over the fitness of Max Gawn, expect another vintage performance from the big man and those with trades left should be looking to bring him in should Gawn miss.

Ben Cunnington took advantage of the Power staying home in Adelaide to post his first actual premo score in 6 weeks with 129. He was one of 11 Roos to break the 100 barrier, indicating that the old University sides of the 1920s would have posed a better challenge. Jack Ziebell was another one of those, delivering 125.

Melbourne disappointed again on Friday night, and that disease seems to have spread to their SC scoring. Clayton Oliver frustrated and put paid to the suggestion that he is no longer the Pig of old with a middling 92, while the Beautiful Bearded One Max Gawn fell short of many coaches’ expectations by producing a solid-but-not-captain-worthy (or so we thought….) 119, made especially disappointing by the fact he was mothballed at the midpoint of the last quarter. Given the fact that many coaches are out of trades, many anooses will be clenched in the lead up to team selection, lest they face donuts should the big man not come up.
Tradeless coaches everywhere in the lead up to team selection

GEELONG VS CARLTON
Patrick Dangerfield’s best efforts weren’t enough to stop the Brisbane rampage on Saturday, but he still put up a massive 146. With the extreme amount of ruck KOTD going around this season, the Dangerman is an oft-overlooked captain option for mine and with a hugely important game for the Cats this Saturday, I feel like he is almost the go-to pick should the Manbun fail on Friday night. His partner-in-crime Tim Kelly has surprisingly only tonned up twice in the last 6 weeks and may receive some attention from the Blues this weekend.

The only thing predictable about Patrick Cripps since the middle of the year is his unpredictability. A distinctly poor 85 continued the Crippa Yo-Yo since Round 8 and news after the game that he’d been in hospital all morning did nothing to stop the melts from coaches who’d blessed him with the sacred C. Not that the poor bloke gets any favours from the men in green…

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“I already carry 21 other blokes every week, I suppose I can make it 23”

Nic Newman continued his great seagulling form and even Grandpa Simpson showed there was some life in the old dog yet with his third ton in the last 4 weeks. He’s served those well who brought him in for Luke Ryan 3 weeks ago.

GOLD COAST VS GWS
As I mentioned last week, the Suns are about as relevant in SC as I am to the ladies when I go out and hit the bars. There’s just better options out there.

The Giants’ double W pairing of Whitfield and Williams delivered again with 114 and 106 respectively. Whitfield unfortunately came into contact with a dust particle in the third quarter and spent a good bit of time off the ground. He did look to be protecting his right shoulder/collarbone area towards the end of the game in another move by the SC gods to strike fear into us all.

Recent SC board favourite Toby “Punchable” Greene continued his good form with a 115, while Josh Kelly decided that those who spent the last 6 weeks holding his ******* injury prone arse would be best rewarded with an 82. Renowned downhill skiing flog that he is, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him rip out a 130+ against a NEAFL level midfield this week.

Video of Josh Kelly this week in match simulation

WEST COAST VS HAWTHORN
The all-conquering Thighmaster Shannon Hurn responded to the battle cry of owners everywhere… for 3 quarters anyway. After tonning up very early in the last, Hurn’s ginormous thighs decided enough was enough and henceforth he ended up on 104. He doesn’t have a great record against this week’s opponents but given the importance of the occasion, he should not be written off.

Elliot Yeo had a monstrous game in midfield with 15 clearances that helped him produce a massive 141. At barely 6% ownership and a 5 round average a whisker away from 120, he shapes as a difference maker this week for both ranking and cashie matchups.

James Worpel has a 5 round average of 125.8. Let that sink in for a second. The Worpedo has indeed initiated full Worpedo mode in the last 6 weeks, never dipping below 105 despite only posting 2 tons in the 16 rounds prior. He’s almost the player to have in the run home. He’s broken into the top 10 averaging forwards for the year and is 7th for overall points on that line. Absolutely remarkable.

On a less positive note, James Sicily was clearly inspired by the calibre of his opposition on the weekend and proceeded to drop a rather large turd in honour of them. 47 was probably the number of times each of his owners wished they could trade him out, and even then I’m not sure if it would be enough to ease the pain. He’s ******* rubbish and TBH if anyone out there is in a position to trade the flog, I’d consider it.

WESTERN BULLDOGS VS ADELAIDE
Where would I begin without talking about the complete and utter stud that is Josh Dunkley. Another huge score to cement his status as the highest averaging forward in the game and another piece of evidence to help support Bevo’s referral to psychiatric services. How you can play a bloke who’s that ******* good in the middle of the park up forward for 6 weeks has got me stuffed. Surely must have been coaching classmates with that campaigner Hinkley.

Jack Macrae and the Bont were a little underwhelming by their usual lofty standards, posting 105 and 90 respectively but I’d be confident in backing them to bounce back this week.

Speaking of bouncing back, whatever ******* movement Matt Crouch’s score did from last week to this could be described as ballistic or dynamic. The apparently superior of the Crouch brothers reverted rapidly back to his ineffectual self with an utterly useless 56. His counterpart Bradley wasn’t much better, giving off a suggestion he may just be colour-blind as he struggled to work out the difference between his own teammates and the Pies. Rory Laird has been disappointing all year, but he wasn’t even the most disappointing Rory on his own side as former stud Sloaney put out his 4th sub 90 score from his last 5 starts. But at least Brodie Smith was good?

RICHMOND VS BRISBANE
There are some among football followers that believe SC points to be a reliable indicator of in-game influence. If that is the case, CD would have you believe that the most influential player on the ground in a wet slog between two top 4 sides was a seagulling half back flanker. In one of the more blatantly KOTD displays of the season, Bachar Houli put out his highest score of the year with 145, made it 6 tons in a row and at the same time provided an explanation for where all of Jake Lloyd’s points have been going. He’s no longer their number one seagull. Big Bad Bustling Bachar Houli is.

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Jake who?

Dusty Martin was probably the actual best player on the ground for 3 quarters and made up for last week’s late out with a great 132. Unfortunately, SC board mascot Mabior Chol could not follow his lead and was only able to deliver a miserly 45.

Lachie Neale’s steady but unspectacular form continued with 103 while Dayne Zorko was also solid with 104. SP Noah Manswerth’s late season transformation into an actually-solid on-field option continued with a sturdy 87 that ended being a better effort than a heap of so-called defence “premiums” this week.

PORT ADELAIDE VS FREMANTLE
I’m quite disappointed that this is the last game of the round, because it means I’ve waited all ******* post to give that completely clueless ******* Hinkley a roast for costing me my main cashie with a series of totally inept decisions. But I digress.

Travis Boak was about the only Port player to show up and he redeemed himself from last week’s fiasco by posting 114. The news wasn’t so good for Robbie Gray, who still hasn’t found a way out of his 9-metre prison while also not being able to find evidence that his coach has any brain cells. The board favourite kicked 3 goals but only scored 55 and his coach’s unrelenting ineptitude has almost forced the hand of many coaches to, with a heavy heart, place the great man on the never-again list for the foreseeable future.

For the Dockers, Brownlow fancy Nat Fyfe was a little under par, barely scraping to a ton with 101 while Michael Walters continued his electric late season form to make it 4 tons in the last 5. In other news, the self-confessed Bieber fan and all-around flog in Luke Ryan is due to make his return this week and I have no doubt he’ll ton up just to spite all of who brought him before being burned. Because that’s how this ******* game works.


We’ve reached the end. Another year over. Many thanks to all of you guys for making this year super enjoyable and making this campaigner of a game actually fun to play. I don’t know anywhere else where you can melt away freely like this, but still get awesome advice from a wide variety of people. It is amazing. Best of luck to everyone this week, may the blessing of the KOTD be with you :moustache:

“It is not the size of a man, but the size of his Chol that matters”
- Evander Cholyfield



 

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gutsroy

Brownlow Medallist
May 12, 2013
14,988
22,880
Switzerland
AFL Club
Collingwood
Great news, Jezza.
That’s lovely, poppet, that you were able to swan around the spa complex in a floral print bathrobe and really spoil yourself on the weekend while poor bastards around the country went into their PFs a man down and your teammates went goalless in H2. Just so happy for you. You deserve it, love your grit and determination.
Crossing my fingers and toes for you in the Coleman race.
You ******* dog campaigner. Go fu** yourself, ratfaced work-shy shitstain. Life sentence in SC jail, no parole, no visitation rights.
 

Test Tickle

S28 Mateflon Medal
May 11, 2007
13,748
25,455
Bendigo
AFL Club
Essendon
Other Teams
LVB Deni Rams Gldn Sq
My opponent has Grundy and Goldy ruck combo. I have Grundy and Gawn.
Sorry Maxy, regardless if you play or not you are out big boy.
Gawn > Goldy this week
 

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Test Tickle

S28 Mateflon Medal
May 11, 2007
13,748
25,455
Bendigo
AFL Club
Essendon
Other Teams
LVB Deni Rams Gldn Sq
Wait.. So you're backing Goldy to outscore Gawn when he's up against him?
Last year they played Goldy scored 57 Gawn 117
I understand what you say, however I should have clarified my reasoning a bit better, nothing against Gawn.
I’m only going Gawn to Goldy to negate my opponent. So it won’t matter to me what they score. I think i can match my opponent around the ground, but if Goldy beats Gawn, I’m stuffed.
If he plays and Preuss doesn’t come in to the team, i might keep Gawn and go head to head with Goldy.
Im actually still concerned about his hammy.
 

exit

Premiership Player
Jun 24, 2007
3,733
1,905
AFL Club
Adelaide
I hope Gawn is out. If he's not 100% he'll either be rested a lot
or get injured. Why would they bother?

As a bonus, would also screw a lot of coaches with no trades left.
 

vast

Hall of Famer
Sep 29, 2005
33,552
53,933
Nowhere
AFL Club
Essendon
I hope Gawn is out. If he's not 100% he'll either be rested a lot
or get injured. Why would they bother?

As a bonus, would also screw a lot of coaches with no trades left.
Lol does it even matter at this point?
Unless ur in a cash league final
 

exit

Premiership Player
Jun 24, 2007
3,733
1,905
AFL Club
Adelaide
Lol does it even matter at this point?
Unless ur in a cash league final
Probably not a whole lot. In my final and if he doesn't have any trades
he's one down if Gawn misses.
Also aiming for a high ranking so could leap over teams without trades.

That's it basically.
 

Loose at HB

All Australian
Apr 20, 2018
868
3,054
Melbourne
AFL Club
Carlton
Lycett owners:
One week too late you ******* incompetent donkey Hinkley. Goldy already went in dry on my team and cash league hopes last week because you decided to play your best ruckman in the ******* SANFL so you could give Paddy Ryder a retirement tour of Australia. G@GF
 
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