The Humour Thread

[eDPS]

 

[eDPS]

 

[eDPS]

As someone who grew up with both shows this is genuis

 

[tesla1962]

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

You put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.

 

[doug85]

 

[Pweter]

View attachment 551803

Surely not serious...?

 

[doug85]

Surely not serious...?

A part of me really hopes it is.

 

[tesla1962]

My mate recently quit his job as an exploratory geologist for Shell.

He said the job was well boring.

 

[Stopher]

Since when did you start working at Woolworths Jade ?

 

[Runk]

Wife & I were driving the kids into Melbourne yesterday talking about movies. Wife says 'I remember seeing the Halloween movie on Black & White tv. In fact I remember when we got our first colour tv.'

8 year old daughter chimes in with 'What colour was it?'

 

[Max Headroom]

Puerile but amusing

 

[Max Headroom]

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese!

5/4 people admit that they are bad with fractions.

I thought about going on an all almonds diet. But that’s just nuts...

 

[Pweter]

So I asked my wife "What do you want for your birthday?"
She said "I want a divorce."
"Gee" I said, "I wasn't thinking of spending that much"

 

[eDPS]

 

[doug85]

 

[doug85]

 

[tesla1962]

Went to the telescope shop last night
Boy did they see me coming

 

[eDPS]

 

[TheBrightSide]

My son is performing a social experiment for university, by wearing a Collingwood jumper for two weeks, and collecting data on the responses.
On the first day, he has been punched, verbally abused and spat on.
It will be interesting to see what happens when he leaves the house.

 

[Beerfish]

I had the best ever Christmas cracker joke last year.

What do you get for the person that has everything?

Antibiotics.

 

[carnthedons]

I had the best ever Christmas cracker joke last year.

What do you get for the person that has everything?

Antibiotics.

Heroin, so next year they’ve got nothing

 

[doug85]

I had the best ever Christmas cracker joke last year.

What do you get for the person that has everything?

Antibiotics.

I got this joke in a Christmas cracker this year:

Q:What’s the best thing about having sex with a horse

A: You can ride it home when you’re finished.

I was told to leave the table.

 

[Beerfish]

The Christmas cracker people are obviously trying to edgy it up a bit.

 

[Lore]

The Christmas cracker people are obviously trying to edgy it up a bit.

Either that or it's actually Christmas Crackers against Humanity

 

[Beerfish]

Either that or it's actually Christmas Crackers against Humanity

Sorry that went over my head