Media - The JWS Academy of Excellence | BigFooty

Media The JWS Academy of Excellence

Discussion in 'The Sweet F.A. (SFA) - Fantasy Footy League' started by JoshWoodenSpoon, Sep 9, 2018.

  1. JoshWoodenSpoon

    JoshWoodenSpoon Norm Smith Medallist

    West Coast
    Joined:
    Oct 13
    Posts:
    6,736
    Other Teams:
    Fremantle AFLW, Las Vegas Bears
    JWS Adademy Of Excellence.png

    Good morning and thank you all for being here. I am thrilled to stand on the outskirts of these luxurious grounds to finally and generously give hope to all aspiring yet hapless qootballers who litter this promising League. The Sweet F.A. has been very good to me, and so I am honoured to have the opportunity to give back in some small, enormous, expensive way. Please follow me.

    You can see I have spared no thought, and as a close friend of mine once said to me: talent hits a target no-one else can hit, genius hits a target no-one else can see. These words reverberate particularly, due to the lack of acoustic absorption in this almonry. I see in this League a great wealth of talent, and appreciate that with the right guidance, perseverance, and large enough scissors, there could be no end to the resultant accomplishment!

    One expects diligent attention- a small cost surely given the gains on offer- to the curricula which have been orchestrated by some of the brightest qooty minds. Special thanks must be given to fellow Barrybran- an honourary peer of The Academy- who holds remarkable knowledge of all things statistical. But now, let us look upon the structure of this course!

    There exist a series of tiers representing competency, each way more better than the last:


    TIERS.png


    Progression from each tier simply involves the completion of highly streamlined coursework designed to get the most out of your cashmere-clad self. We prize diversity of knowledge here at The Academy, and as such you may recognise that you do not necessarily share tasks with every of your co-equals. Nevertheless, each task within a tier is weighted the same.

    It should be said that I have no mind at all for corner-cutters, and anyone who is reported and found to be entertaining any such foul manner shall be stricken back to the primary tier! The complete list of indiscretions will be found on the bulletin board shortly following this regal and captivating launch.

    Coursework will be assigned today ahead of your regular matches, and each week following team submission deadline. It is not yet known what is the duration of the semester. I again welcome you all to what is the première institution for qooty development, The JWS Academy of Excellence. I look forward to hearing about your dazzling results and unmatched progress from afar.

    *SNIP*

    Week 1 Homework by College
    Baghdad Bombers
    Coney Island Warriors
    Dragons FFC
    East Side Hawks
    Fighting Furies
    Gold City Royals
    Gumbies FFC
    Las Vegas Bears
    Mount Buller Demons
    Roys FFC
    Sin City Swamprats
    West Coast Wonders


    Week 2 Homework by College
    Baghdad Bombers
    Coney Island Warriors
    Dragons FFC
    East Side Hawks
    Fighting Furies
    Gold City Royals
    Gumbies FFC
    Las Vegas Bears
    Mount Buller Demons
    Roys FFC
    Sin City Swamprats
    West Coast Wonders


     
    Last edited: Sep 14, 2018 at 12:09 AM
    Cheval, Shermy, The Jesus and 13 others like this.

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  2. JoshWoodenSpoon

    JoshWoodenSpoon Norm Smith Medallist

    West Coast
    Joined:
    Oct 13
    Posts:
    6,736
    Other Teams:
    Fremantle AFLW, Las Vegas Bears
    NOTE : This punitive system relies entirely on dobbers. :padlock:

    Nature Bulletin.png
     
  3. JoshWoodenSpoon

    JoshWoodenSpoon Norm Smith Medallist

    West Coast
    Joined:
    Oct 13
    Posts:
    6,736
    Other Teams:
    Fremantle AFLW, Las Vegas Bears
    Baghdad Bombers.jpg

    Grade 1
    akkaps Take 3 Marks
    George Commit No Frees Against
    beez Acquire 8 Possessions
    UnitedWarrior93 Draw 1 Free
    ctacp Commit No Frees Against
    KohPhi Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
    I bleed Blue Acquire 14 Possessions
    iDon Acquire 14 Possessions
    Shermy Acquire 9 Possessions
    Cheval Commit No Frees Against
    BEEG Kick 4 Goals
    nahnah Acquire 15 Possessions
    Matty411 Lay 3 Tackles
    _Cayz_ Don't Concede a Free
    TheCoach16 Acquire 19 Possessions
    ArgusTuft Take 5 Marks
    CALL ME SNAKE Lay 1 Tackle
    Tony Lynn 15 Give 12 Handballs
    Blue__Balls Take 1 Mark
    arrowman Acquire 7 Possessions
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2018
  4. JoshWoodenSpoon

    JoshWoodenSpoon Norm Smith Medallist

    West Coast
    Joined:
    Oct 13
    Posts:
    6,736
    Other Teams:
    Fremantle AFLW, Las Vegas Bears
    Coney Island Warriors.png


    Grade 1

    Reginald Perrin Take 3 Marks
    BoshtrichBurger Lay 2 Tackles
    Percel Kick 2 Goals
    CM9000 Lay 1 Tackle and Take 1 Mark
    Morganashlee Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
    Dips Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
    zackah Lay 3 Tackles
    comewhatmay Acquire 14 Possessions
    Wooshette Spend 100% Time On Ground
    Packedlunch Acquire 15 Possessions
    BigJoeD_ Draw 1 Free
    Itsmyshow Accrue 46 DreamTeam Points
    Freofalcon Accrue 81 DreamTeam Points
    pantskyle Draw 1 Free
    Frankston Rover Accrue 75 DreamTeam Points
    candiehappy Take 5 Marks
    TheInjuryFactory Accrue 75 DreamTeam Points
    DapperJong Lay 1 Tackle
    Raveneyes Spend More Than 50% Time on Ground
    Bet on Blue Lay 1 Tackle
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2018
    candiehappy and ArgusTuft like this.
  5. JoshWoodenSpoon

    JoshWoodenSpoon Norm Smith Medallist

    West Coast
    Joined:
    Oct 13
    Posts:
    6,736
    Other Teams:
    Fremantle AFLW, Las Vegas Bears
    Dragons FFC.jpg


    Grade 1

    chefmeister Accrue 22 DreamTeam Points
    Daniel1812 Commit No Frees Against
    mistylake Acquire 8 Possessions
    Pea Nut Accrue 18 DreamTeam Points
    Knifey Spoony Take 3 Marks
    VSTone Acquire 14 Possessions
    cammo6556 Acquire 14 Possessions
    Pie 4 Life Lay 3 Tackles
    Determinant Spend 100% Time On Ground
    Ljp86 Take 4 Marks
    PhenomenalV1 Accrue 37 DreamTeam Points
    Hatchy1992 Lay 3 Tackles
    xenxen Lay 2 Tackles and Kick a Goal
    Blaze Storm Accrue 82 DreamTeam Points
    mike123 Don't Concede a Free
    WFL Give 12 Handballs
    Wayne's-World Take 4 Marks
    CinnaMay Accrue 75 DreamTeam Points
    boneofshin Spend More Than 50% Time on Ground
    A Swallow Spend More Than 50% Time on Ground
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2018
    Hatchy1992 and ArgusTuft like this.
  6. JoshWoodenSpoon

    JoshWoodenSpoon Norm Smith Medallist

    West Coast
    Joined:
    Oct 13
    Posts:
    6,736
    Other Teams:
    Fremantle AFLW, Las Vegas Bears
    East Side Hawks.jpg

    Grade 1


    Milera2Betts Accrue 22 DreamTeam Points
    NinjaSwan Lay 2 Tackles
    vanders Kick 2 Goals
    The Filth Wizard Accrue 18 DreamTeam Points
    The Half Back Lay 2 Tackles
    Matera92 Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
    larrikin Take 3 Marks
    Papa Juggs Lay 3 Tackles
    Loonerty Accrue 22 DreamTeam Points
    Drunkgoliath Acquire 15 Possessions
    Noobz0r Kick 4 Goals
    Biggie Kick 2 Goals
    The Jesus Lay 2 Tackles and Kick a Goal
    Agent93 Don't Concede a Free
    spookism Acquire 19 Possessions
    Golumless Lay 1 Tackle
    boncer34 Accrue 75 DreamTeam Points
    por_please_ya Take 4 Marks
    jackenny Accrue 20 DreamTeam Points
    go you pups Acquire 7 Possessions
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2018
  7. JoshWoodenSpoon

    JoshWoodenSpoon Norm Smith Medallist

    West Coast
    Joined:
    Oct 13
    Posts:
    6,736
    Other Teams:
    Fremantle AFLW, Las Vegas Bears
    Fighting Furies.jpg

    Grade 1

    Tiger Toffee Accrue 22 DreamTeam Points
    Wacky Tiger Acquire 10 Possessions
    Lsta062 Draw 1 Free
    Stevi_Tigers Acquire 8 Possessions
    Grockadoc Take 3 Marks
    Michaels Commit No Frees Against
    Shadowthorn Take 3 Marks
    Chappyuk Lay 3 Tackles
    NaturalDisaster Spend 100% Time On Ground
    Nuffers Acquire 15 Possessions
    Sterge Accrue 37 DreamTeam Points
    THE_GUN Acquire 15 Possessions
    Tigerturbulance Acquire 20 Possessions
    TJASTA Draw 1 Free
    rfctiger74 Accrue 75 DreamTeam Points
    OES Take 5 Marks
    This Is Anfield Accrue 75 DreamTeam Points
    Hate Lay 1 Tackle
    JackNah_8 Lay 1 Tackle
    rfctigerarmy Acquire 7 Possessions
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2018
  8. JoshWoodenSpoon

    JoshWoodenSpoon Norm Smith Medallist

    West Coast
    Joined:
    Oct 13
    Posts:
    6,736
    Other Teams:
    Fremantle AFLW, Las Vegas Bears
    Gold City Royals.png

    Grade 1

    MWPP Accrue 22 DreamTeam Points
    Dennis Confetti Accrue 22 DreamTeam Points
    Bipolarbear Kick 2 Goals
    MrPremiership Kick 2 Goals
    burningdwarf Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
    grumbleguts Take 3 Marks
    NTRabbit Acquire 14 Possessions
    CakeEater Acquire 14 Possessions
    Smartys Power Acquire 9 Possessions
    Simon_Says Commit No Frees Against
    Blacky Draw 1 Free
    Footypie32 Accrue 46 DreamTeam Points
    GreyCrow Lay 2 Tackles and Kick a Goal
    RodneyDangerfield Acquire 21 Possessions
    Thatsapaddlin Acquire 19 Possessions
    3121 premiers Take 5 Marks
    Ulahoopski Lay 1 Tackle
    SunshineTiger Take 4 Marks
    Dirty Bird Spend More Than 50% Time on Ground
    boondy Lay 1 Tackle
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2018
  9. JoshWoodenSpoon

    JoshWoodenSpoon Norm Smith Medallist

    West Coast
    Joined:
    Oct 13
    Posts:
    6,736
    Other Teams:
    Fremantle AFLW, Las Vegas Bears
    Gumbies FFC.jpg

    Grade 1

    The City Boyz Acquire 10 Possessions
    peterss Take 3 Marks
    MattWriting Kick 2 Goals
    NSWCROW Accrue 18 DreamTeam Points
    Quivorir Lay 2 Tackles
    SM Lay 2 Tackles
    jmoo wan Lay 3 Tackles
    Fryer Tuck Take 3 Marks
    Uncle_Leo Acquire 9 Possessions
    jd2010 Commit No Frees Against
    Jivlain Get 5 Kicks
    WaLkEr_ThE_StAr Lay 3 Tackles
    roo2macca Get 12 Hitouts
    BRAB Draw 1 Free
    BLERN Draw 1 Free
    DERO Give 12 Handballs
    RU_ Take 4 Marks
    StFly Acquire 22 Possessions
    The Bandwagon Lay 1 Tackle
    06Premiers Acquire 7 Possessions
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2018
  10. TheInjuryFactory

    TheInjuryFactory Turd Ferguson

    Melbourne
    Joined:
    Aug 11
    Posts:
    3,060
    Location:
    Perth
    Other Teams:
    TGO, South Fremantle, Hajduk Split
    Tagged in Times New Roman.

    Classy AF. :thumbsu:
     
    Mooch, ArgusTuft, OES and 1 other person like this.
  11. JoshWoodenSpoon

    JoshWoodenSpoon Norm Smith Medallist

    West Coast
    Joined:
    Oct 13
    Posts:
    6,736
    Other Teams:
    Fremantle AFLW, Las Vegas Bears
    Las Vegas Bears.png

    Grade 1

    reggie Accrue 22 DreamTeam Points
    Miguel Sanchez Commit No Frees Against
    Jezmiester40 Lay 1 Tackle and Take 1 Mark
    Farm Boy Kick 2 Goals
    kane249 Acquire 14 Possessions
    RookiePick Lay 2 Tackles
    caloschwaby Take 3 Marks
    DapperDon Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
    JoshWoodenSpoon Accrue 22 DreamTeam Points
    Tommycash Accrue 54 DreamTeam Points
    kdavva74 Kick 4 Goals
    Its Manbearpig Kick 2 Goals
    gym4life Lay 2 Tackles and Kick a Goal
    brahj Draw 1 Free
    Doctor Gero Acquire 19 Possessions
    Tandy Take 5 Marks
    Barrybran Accrue 75 DreamTeam Points
    Argas Tuft Accrue 75 DreamTeam Points
    magpienato Take 1 Mark
    jatz14 Spend More Than 50% Time on Ground
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2018

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  12. JoshWoodenSpoon

    JoshWoodenSpoon Norm Smith Medallist

    West Coast
    Joined:
    Oct 13
    Posts:
    6,736
    Other Teams:
    Fremantle AFLW, Las Vegas Bears
    Mount Buller Demons.png

    Grade 1

    Headless Acquire 10 Possessions
    Thetrader15 Commit No Frees Against
    Freo Hammer 21 Draw 1 Free
    lion around Accrue 18 DreamTeam Points
    lanky_wes Lay 2 Tackles
    brucetiki Lay 2 Tackles
    sausageroll Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
    cats2rise Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
    Van_Dyke Spend 100% Time On Ground
    tigland Acquire 15 Possessions
    ABray10 Accrue 37 DreamTeam Points
    cooney Kick 2 Goals
    manangatang Get 12 Hitouts
    DemonJim Acquire 21 Possessions
    Tarkyn_24 Accrue 75 DreamTeam Points
    Yakker Give 12 Handballs
    Proper Gander Give 12 Handballs
    Oddhawk Take 4 Marks
    sante Acquire 7 Possessions
    TheDarkDwarf Spend More Than 50% Time on Ground
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2018
  13. JoshWoodenSpoon

    JoshWoodenSpoon Norm Smith Medallist

    West Coast
    Joined:
    Oct 13
    Posts:
    6,736
    Other Teams:
    Fremantle AFLW, Las Vegas Bears
    Roys FFC.jpg

    Grade 1

    Thommo333 Acquire 10 Possessions
    royboy2 Accrue 22 DreamTeam Points
    _Mike_ Lay 1 Tackle and Take 1 Mark
    Azarole Lay 1 Tackle and Take 1 Mark
    MannumPower Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
    A Bit High Acquire 14 Possessions
    Barrels Acquire 14 Possessions
    Reardo Take 3 Marks
    Freakie Take 3 Marks
    Mobbs Accrue 54 DreamTeam Points
    Mooch Take a Mark and Kick 3 Goals
    Allikat Accrue 46 DreamTeam Points
    Broken Lay 3 Tackles
    TedDougChris Accrue 82 DreamTeam Points
    3KZ is Football Draw 1 Free
    Matt_352 Take 5 Marks
    Runk Take 4 Marks
    Stoods Lay 1 Tackle
    Roylion Take 1 Mark
    fitzroybowiedog Lay 1 Tackle
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2018
    Mooch and ArgusTuft like this.
  14. JoshWoodenSpoon

    JoshWoodenSpoon Norm Smith Medallist

    West Coast
    Joined:
    Oct 13
    Posts:
    6,736
    Other Teams:
    Fremantle AFLW, Las Vegas Bears
    Sin City Swamprats.jpg

    Grade 1

    gaskin Commit No Frees Against
    sataris Acquire 10 Possessions
    jackster83 Kick 2 Goals
    Power Raid Acquire 8 Possessions
    rickety Lay 2 Tackles
    LukeParkerno1 Take 3 Marks
    ant555 Lay 3 Tackles
    edgie Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
    Fizzler Concede Less Than 3 Goals
    Firestarter Commit No Frees Against
    Dingster Take a Mark and Kick 3 Goals
    I Dont Care Accrue 46 DreamTeam Points
    sportsmaniac89 Get 12 Hitouts
    Ant Bear Lay 5 Tackles
    philreich Draw 1 Free
    Nunez Give 12 Handballs
    GotTheGoodes Take 4 Marks
    SarahSmiles Accrue 75 DreamTeam Points
    Quadzilla Take 1 Mark
    Obeanie1 Accrue 20 DreamTeam Points
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2018
  15. Tarkyn_24

    Tarkyn_24 Brownlow Medallist

    Collingwood
    Joined:
    Dec 06
    Posts:
    24,078
    **** off you West Coast supporting wanker.

    ******* tosser
     
  16. JoshWoodenSpoon

    JoshWoodenSpoon Norm Smith Medallist

    West Coast
    Joined:
    Oct 13
    Posts:
    6,736
    Other Teams:
    Fremantle AFLW, Las Vegas Bears
    West Coast Wonders.png

    Grade 1

    BallaratBulldog Commit No Frees Against
    ClarkeM Accrue 22 DreamTeam Points
    croweater 41 Lay 1 Tackle and Take 1 Mark
    D_P_S Accrue 18 DreamTeam Points
    NickCC Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
    MKMatty Lay 2 Tackles
    PVF Acquire 14 Possessions
    Cleanupsoup Kick 2 Goals
    SSwans2011 Spend 100% Time On Ground
    dogs105 Commit No Frees Against
    okeydoke7 Kick 4 Goals
    Kirkswan Accrue 46 DreamTeam Points
    U2tigers Get 12 Hitouts
    Sab22 Accrue 82 DreamTeam Points
    ShaunDuggan Acquire 19 Possessions
    Cactus_ Acquire 22 Possessions
    JT_the_Man Acquire 22 Possessions
    TheHairyGamer Accrue 75 DreamTeam Points
    KBLT Acquire 7 Possessions
    Beutbrute Lay 1 Tackle
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2018
  17. Tarkyn_24

    Tarkyn_24 Brownlow Medallist

    Collingwood
    Joined:
    Dec 06
    Posts:
    24,078
    Oops wrong board.
     
    The Filth Wizard and Yakker like this.
  18. JoshWoodenSpoon

    JoshWoodenSpoon Norm Smith Medallist

    West Coast
    Joined:
    Oct 13
    Posts:
    6,736
    Other Teams:
    Fremantle AFLW, Las Vegas Bears
    Please do not talk in class.
     
  19. Tarkyn_24

    Tarkyn_24 Brownlow Medallist

    Collingwood
    Joined:
    Dec 06
    Posts:
    24,078
    I’ll stop talking in class when you stop talking out your ass.
     
    Yakker likes this.
  20. kdavva74

    kdavva74 This Charming Man

    Port Adelaide
    Joined:
    Jul 15
    Posts:
    4,682
    Location:
    Darwin
    Other Teams:
    Brighton, Las Vegas Bears
    Man I can't wait to use all of my skill in order to rise up the tiers.
     
  21. The Half Back

    The Half Back BC Approved

    Hawthorn
    Joined:
    Feb 11
    Posts:
    17,775
    Location:
    Geelong
    Other Teams:
    Yankees
  22. Matera92

    Matera92 Brownlow Medallist

    West Coast
    Joined:
    Jun 09
    Posts:
    12,011
    Location:
    Perth
    Other Teams:
    Bulls, East Freo, Las Vegas Bears
    How dare you rank/classify/grade me. Are we not in the age where everyone gets a gold star and told they are special?

    I am triggered and will need to retreat to my safe space to complete my daily Tumblr entry about this violation.
     
  23. NickCC

    NickCC Premium Gold

    Geelong
    Joined:
    Aug 11
    Posts:
    9,140
    Other Teams:
    Wonders
    I don't get it but I love your enthusiasm
     
  24. Yakker

    Yakker Fisherman

    Melbourne
    Joined:
    Apr 16
    Posts:
    7,840
    Location:
    -23.903529, 152.398097
    Other Teams:
    Mt Buller Demons
    upload_2018-9-9_4-24-46.png


    Niiiiiice. Where can I get my hands on this dinner set?
     
  25. Papa Juggs

    Papa Juggs Brownlow Medallist

    St Kilda
    Joined:
    May 07
    Posts:
    29,314
    Location:
    South Brisbane
    Other Teams:
    Liverpool
    I haven't figured this out yet.

    Is it good that I have made it this far?
     
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