Media The JWS Academy of Excellence

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JWS Adademy Of Excellence.png


Good morning and thank you all for being here. I am thrilled to stand on the outskirts of these luxurious grounds to finally and generously give hope to all aspiring yet hapless qootballers who litter this promising League. The Sweet F.A. has been very good to me, and so I am honoured to have the opportunity to give back in some small, enormous, expensive way. Please follow me.

You can see I have spared no thought, and as a close friend of mine once said to me: talent hits a target no-one else can hit, genius hits a target no-one else can see. These words reverberate particularly, due to the lack of acoustic absorption in this almonry. I see in this League a great wealth of talent, and appreciate that with the right guidance, perseverance, and large enough scissors, there could be no end to the resultant accomplishment!

One expects diligent attention- a small cost surely given the gains on offer- to the curricula which have been orchestrated by some of the brightest qooty minds. Special thanks must be given to fellow Barrybran- an honourary peer of The Academy- who holds remarkable knowledge of all things statistical. But now, let us look upon the structure of this course!

There exist a series of tiers representing competency, each way more better than the last:


TIERS.png


Progression from each tier simply involves the completion of highly streamlined coursework designed to get the most out of your cashmere-clad self. We prize diversity of knowledge here at The Academy, and as such you may recognise that you do not necessarily share tasks with every of your co-equals. Nevertheless, each task within a tier is weighted the same.

It should be said that I have no mind at all for corner-cutters, and anyone who is reported and found to be entertaining any such foul manner shall be stricken back to the primary tier! The complete list of indiscretions will be found on the bulletin board shortly following this regal and captivating launch.

Coursework will be assigned today ahead of your regular matches, and each week following team submission deadline. It is not yet known what is the duration of the semester. I again welcome you all to what is the première institution for qooty development, The JWS Academy of Excellence. I look forward to hearing about your dazzling results and unmatched progress from afar.

*SNIP*

Week 1 Homework by College
Baghdad Bombers
Coney Island Warriors
Dragons FFC
East Side Hawks
Fighting Furies
Gold City Royals
Gumbies FFC
Las Vegas Bears
Mount Buller Demons
Roys FFC
Sin City Swamprats
West Coast Wonders


Week 2 Homework by College
Baghdad Bombers
Coney Island Warriors
Dragons FFC
East Side Hawks
Fighting Furies
Gold City Royals
Gumbies FFC
Las Vegas Bears
Mount Buller Demons
Roys FFC
Sin City Swamprats
West Coast Wonders


 
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Baghdad Bombers.jpg

Grade 1
akkaps Take 3 Marks
George Commit No Frees Against
beez Acquire 8 Possessions
UnitedWarrior93 Draw 1 Free
ctacp Commit No Frees Against
KohPhi Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
I bleed Blue Acquire 14 Possessions
iDon Acquire 14 Possessions
Shermy Acquire 9 Possessions
Cheval Commit No Frees Against
BEEG Kick 4 Goals
nahnah Acquire 15 Possessions
Matty411 Lay 3 Tackles
_Cayz_ Don't Concede a Free
TheCoach16 Acquire 19 Possessions
ArgusTuft Take 5 Marks
CALL ME SNAKE Lay 1 Tackle
Tony Lynn 15 Give 12 Handballs
Blue__Balls Take 1 Mark
arrowman Acquire 7 Possessions
 
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Coney Island Warriors.png



Grade 1

Reginald Perrin Take 3 Marks
BoshtrichBurger Lay 2 Tackles
Percel Kick 2 Goals
CM9000 Lay 1 Tackle and Take 1 Mark
Morganashlee Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
Dips Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
zackah Lay 3 Tackles
comewhatmay Acquire 14 Possessions
Wooshette Spend 100% Time On Ground
Packedlunch Acquire 15 Possessions
BigJoeD_ Draw 1 Free
Itsmyshow Accrue 46 DreamTeam Points
Freofalcon Accrue 81 DreamTeam Points
pantskyle Draw 1 Free
Frankston Rover Accrue 75 DreamTeam Points
candiehappy Take 5 Marks
TheInjuryFactory Accrue 75 DreamTeam Points
DapperJong Lay 1 Tackle
Raveneyes Spend More Than 50% Time on Ground
Bet on Blue Lay 1 Tackle
 
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Dragons FFC.jpg



Grade 1

chefmeister Accrue 22 DreamTeam Points
Daniel1812 Commit No Frees Against
mistylake Acquire 8 Possessions
Pea Nut Accrue 18 DreamTeam Points
Knifey Spoony Take 3 Marks
VSTone Acquire 14 Possessions
cammo6556 Acquire 14 Possessions
Pie 4 Life Lay 3 Tackles
Determinant Spend 100% Time On Ground
Ljp86 Take 4 Marks
PhenomenalV1 Accrue 37 DreamTeam Points
Hatchy1992 Lay 3 Tackles
xenxen Lay 2 Tackles and Kick a Goal
Blaze Storm Accrue 82 DreamTeam Points
mike123 Don't Concede a Free
WFL Give 12 Handballs
Wayne's-World Take 4 Marks
CinnaMay Accrue 75 DreamTeam Points
boneofshin Spend More Than 50% Time on Ground
A Swallow Spend More Than 50% Time on Ground
 
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East Side Hawks.jpg


Grade 1


Milera2Betts Accrue 22 DreamTeam Points
NinjaSwan Lay 2 Tackles
vanders Kick 2 Goals
The Filth Wizard Accrue 18 DreamTeam Points
The Half Back Lay 2 Tackles
Matera92 Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
larrikin Take 3 Marks
Papa Juggs Lay 3 Tackles
Loonerty Accrue 22 DreamTeam Points
Drunkgoliath Acquire 15 Possessions
Noobz0r Kick 4 Goals
Biggie Kick 2 Goals
The Jesus Lay 2 Tackles and Kick a Goal
Agent93 Don't Concede a Free
spookism Acquire 19 Possessions
Golumless Lay 1 Tackle
boncer34 Accrue 75 DreamTeam Points
por_please_ya Take 4 Marks
jackenny Accrue 20 DreamTeam Points
go you pups Acquire 7 Possessions
 
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Fighting Furies.jpg


Grade 1

Tiger Toffee Accrue 22 DreamTeam Points
Wacky Tiger Acquire 10 Possessions
Lsta062 Draw 1 Free
Stevi_Tigers Acquire 8 Possessions
Grockadoc Take 3 Marks
Michaels Commit No Frees Against
Shadowthorn Take 3 Marks
Chappyuk Lay 3 Tackles
NaturalDisaster Spend 100% Time On Ground
Nuffers Acquire 15 Possessions
Sterge Accrue 37 DreamTeam Points
THE_GUN Acquire 15 Possessions
Tigerturbulance Acquire 20 Possessions
TJASTA Draw 1 Free
rfctiger74 Accrue 75 DreamTeam Points
OES Take 5 Marks
This Is Anfield Accrue 75 DreamTeam Points
Hate Lay 1 Tackle
JackNah_8 Lay 1 Tackle
rfctigerarmy Acquire 7 Possessions
 
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Gold City Royals.png


Grade 1

MWPP Accrue 22 DreamTeam Points
Dennis Confetti Accrue 22 DreamTeam Points
Bipolarbear Kick 2 Goals
MrPremiership Kick 2 Goals
burningdwarf Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
grumbleguts Take 3 Marks
NTRabbit Acquire 14 Possessions
CakeEater Acquire 14 Possessions
Smartys Power Acquire 9 Possessions
Simon_Says Commit No Frees Against
Blacky Draw 1 Free
Footypie32 Accrue 46 DreamTeam Points
GreyCrow Lay 2 Tackles and Kick a Goal
RodneyDangerfield Acquire 21 Possessions
Thatsapaddlin Acquire 19 Possessions
3121 premiers Take 5 Marks
Ulahoopski Lay 1 Tackle
SunshineTiger Take 4 Marks
Dirty Bird Spend More Than 50% Time on Ground
boondy Lay 1 Tackle
 
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Gumbies FFC.jpg


Grade 1

The City Boyz Acquire 10 Possessions
peterss Take 3 Marks
MattWriting Kick 2 Goals
NSWCROW Accrue 18 DreamTeam Points
Quivorir Lay 2 Tackles
SM Lay 2 Tackles
jmoo wan Lay 3 Tackles
Fryer Tuck Take 3 Marks
Uncle_Leo Acquire 9 Possessions
jd2010 Commit No Frees Against
Jivlain Get 5 Kicks
WaLkEr_ThE_StAr Lay 3 Tackles
roo2macca Get 12 Hitouts
BRAB Draw 1 Free
BLERN Draw 1 Free
DERO Give 12 Handballs
RU_ Take 4 Marks
StFly Acquire 22 Possessions
The Bandwagon Lay 1 Tackle
06Premiers Acquire 7 Possessions
 
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555436_4478752dedfca9107b1fcc79f598ce74.png


Good morning and thank you all for being here. I am thrilled to stand on the outskirts of these luxurious grounds to finally and generously give hope to all aspiring yet hapless qootballers who litter this promising League. The Sweet F.A. has been very good to me, and so I am honoured to have the opportunity to give back in some small, enormous, expensive way. Please follow me.

You can see I have spared no thought, and as a close friend of mine once said to me: talent hits a target no-one else can hit, genius hits a target no-one else can see. These words reverberate particularly, due to the lack of acoustic absorption in this almonry. I see in this League a great wealth of talent, and appreciate that with the right guidance, perseverance, and large enough scissors, there could be no end to the resultant accomplishment!

One expects diligent attention- a small cost surely given the gains on offer- to the curricula which have been orchestrated by some of the brightest qooty minds. Special thanks must be given to fellow Barrybran- an honourary peer of The Academy- who holds remarkable knowledge of all things statistical. But now, let us look upon the structure of this course!

There exist a series of tiers representing competency, each way more better than the last:




Progression from each tier simply involves the completion of highly streamlined coursework designed to get the most out of your cashmere-clad self. We prize diversity of knowledge here at The Academy, and as such you may recognise that you do not necessarily share tasks with every of your co-equals. Nevertheless, each task within a tier is weighted the same.

It should be said that I have no mind at all for corner-cutters, and anyone who is reported and found to be entertaining any such foul manner shall be stricken back to the primary tier! The complete list of indiscretions will be found on the bulletin board shortly following this regal and captivating launch.

Coursework will be assigned today ahead of your regular matches, and each week following team submission deadline. It is not yet known what is the duration of the semester. I again welcome you all to what is the première institution for qooty development, The JWS Academy of Excellence. I look forward to hearing about your dazzling results and unmatched progress from afar.

*SNIP*
Tagged in Times New Roman.

Classy AF. :thumbsu:
 
Las Vegas Bears.png


Grade 1

reggie Accrue 22 DreamTeam Points
Miguel Sanchez Commit No Frees Against
Jezmiester40 Lay 1 Tackle and Take 1 Mark
Farm Boy Kick 2 Goals
kane249 Acquire 14 Possessions
RookiePick Lay 2 Tackles
caloschwaby Take 3 Marks
DapperDon Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
JoshWoodenSpoon Accrue 22 DreamTeam Points
Tommycash Accrue 54 DreamTeam Points
kdavva74 Kick 4 Goals
Its Manbearpig Kick 2 Goals
gym4life Lay 2 Tackles and Kick a Goal
brahj Draw 1 Free
Doctor Gero Acquire 19 Possessions
Tandy Take 5 Marks
Barrybran Accrue 75 DreamTeam Points
Argas Tuft Accrue 75 DreamTeam Points
magpienato Take 1 Mark
jatz14 Spend More Than 50% Time on Ground
 
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Mount Buller Demons.png


Grade 1

Headless Acquire 10 Possessions
Thetrader15 Commit No Frees Against
Freo Hammer 21 Draw 1 Free
lion around Accrue 18 DreamTeam Points
lanky_wes Lay 2 Tackles
brucetiki Lay 2 Tackles
sausageroll Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
cats2rise Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
Van_Dyke Spend 100% Time On Ground
tigland Acquire 15 Possessions
ABray10 Accrue 37 DreamTeam Points
cooney Kick 2 Goals
manangatang Get 12 Hitouts
DemonJim Acquire 21 Possessions
Tarkyn_24 Accrue 75 DreamTeam Points
Yakker Give 12 Handballs
Proper Gander Give 12 Handballs
Oddhawk Take 4 Marks
sante Acquire 7 Possessions
TheDarkDwarf Spend More Than 50% Time on Ground
 
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Roys FFC.jpg


Grade 1

Thommo333 Acquire 10 Possessions
royboy2 Accrue 22 DreamTeam Points
_Mike_ Lay 1 Tackle and Take 1 Mark
Azarole Lay 1 Tackle and Take 1 Mark
MannumPower Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
A Bit High Acquire 14 Possessions
Barrels Acquire 14 Possessions
Reardo Take 3 Marks
Freakie Take 3 Marks
Mobbs Accrue 54 DreamTeam Points
Mooch Take a Mark and Kick 3 Goals
Allikat Accrue 46 DreamTeam Points
Broken Lay 3 Tackles
TedDougChris Accrue 82 DreamTeam Points
3KZ is Football Draw 1 Free
Matt_352 Take 5 Marks
Runk Take 4 Marks
Stoods Lay 1 Tackle
Roylion Take 1 Mark
fitzroybowiedog Lay 1 Tackle
 
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Sin City Swamprats.jpg


Grade 1

gaskin Commit No Frees Against
sataris Acquire 10 Possessions
jackster83 Kick 2 Goals
Power Raid Acquire 8 Possessions
rickety Lay 2 Tackles
LukeParkerno1 Take 3 Marks
ant555 Lay 3 Tackles
edgie Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
Fizzler Concede Less Than 3 Goals
Firestarter Commit No Frees Against
Dingster Take a Mark and Kick 3 Goals
I Dont Care Accrue 46 DreamTeam Points
sportsmaniac89 Get 12 Hitouts
Ant Bear Lay 5 Tackles
philreich Draw 1 Free
Nunez Give 12 Handballs
GotTheGoodes Take 4 Marks
SarahSmiles Accrue 75 DreamTeam Points
Quadzilla Take 1 Mark
Obeanie1 Accrue 20 DreamTeam Points
 
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View attachment 556326

Tier 1

Headless Acquire 10 Possessions
Thetrader15 Commit No Frees Against
Freo Hammer 21 Draw 1 Free
lion around Accrue 18 DreamTeam Points
lanky_wes Lay 2 Tackles
brucetiki Lay 2 Tackles
sausageroll Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
cats2rise Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
Van_Dyke Spend 100% Time On Ground
tigland Acquire 15 Possessions
ABray10 Accrue 37 DreamTeam Points
cooney Kick 2 Goals
manangatang Get 12 Hitouts
DemonJim Acquire 21 Possessions
Tarkyn_24 Accrue 75 DreamTeam Points
Yakker Give 12 Handballs
Proper Gander Give 12 Handballs
Oddhawk Take 4 Marks
sante Acquire 7 Possessions
TheDarkDwarf Spend More Than 50% Time on Ground
* off you West Coast supporting w***er.

******* tosser
 
West Coast Wonders.png


Grade 1

BallaratBulldog Commit No Frees Against
ClarkeM Accrue 22 DreamTeam Points
croweater 41 Lay 1 Tackle and Take 1 Mark
D_P_S Accrue 18 DreamTeam Points
NickCC Accrue 45 DreamTeam Points
MKMatty Lay 2 Tackles
PVF Acquire 14 Possessions
Cleanupsoup Kick 2 Goals
SSwans2011 Spend 100% Time On Ground
dogs105 Commit No Frees Against
okeydoke7 Kick 4 Goals
Kirkswan Accrue 46 DreamTeam Points
U2tigers Get 12 Hitouts
Sab22 Accrue 82 DreamTeam Points
ShaunDuggan Acquire 19 Possessions
Cactus_ Acquire 22 Possessions
JT_the_Man Acquire 22 Possessions
TheHairyGamer Accrue 75 DreamTeam Points
KBLT Acquire 7 Possessions
Beutbrute Lay 1 Tackle
 
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Dav

Hotel? Trivago.
10k Posts Koala SFA State of Origin Coney Island Warriors - Sweet F.A. Pantskyle SFA Fight For MND SFA Daffodil Day Fund Raiser Brisbane Dolphins Player - BFFCL BFFCL Club Captain Blue Mountain Bounders Player - BFFCL
Jul 23, 2015
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37,273
Adelaide
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
Other Teams
Brighton, McLaren F1
Man I can't wait to use all of my skill in order to rise up the tiers.
 
How dare you rank/classify/grade me. Are we not in the age where everyone gets a gold star and told they are special?

I am triggered and will need to retreat to my safe space to complete my daily Tumblr entry about this violation.
 

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