BRASS BINGE ON BALFOURS' BUNS
AAMI Stadium, 3 October.
Rob Chapman: Well we have a few things to get through this morning.
Stephen Rowe: Yeah, have a look at all them kitchener buns. God I love this club.
Andrew Fagan: Do Balfours make cream puffs? They'd be more appropriate around this place.
Rob Chapman: Listen Alby. You've been here two weeks and all you do is criticise.
Nigel Smart: As Nathan Buckley says, "how can you move forward if there's no conflict?"
Alan Stewart: Yeah, that conflict is really working well for Essendon.
Stephen Rowe: So Roo, tell us your news. Tell us.
Mark Ricciuto: I've hired a beauty, boys. All the right qualifications.
Rob Chapman: Voss, Worsfold, Neeld?
Mark Ricciuto: Nah, a new bartender at the pub. Big galoot from Pooraka. Maybe we can sign him as a ruckman. Huh.
Stephen Rowe: He'd be better than that Gorringe bloke. Can't play. I'm glad we showed him the door. So what about our coach?
Andrew Fagan: We've eliminated Bickley. Spoke to the players, who told us he can't coach and is a tosser of a bloke.
Stephen Rowe: I don't believe for a minute that the players had anything to do with this decision. I reckon this is the Adelaide football club finally standing up and being ruthless. And not before time.
Mark Ricciuto: Didn't you say we were too ruthless when we sacked Sando, even when every listed player filed through our door and said "him or me"?
Stephen Rowe: I don't believe for a minute that the players had anything to do with that decision. I reckon this is the Adelaide Football Club finally standing up and being ruthless. And not before time.
Mark Ricciuto: You are delusional. No Sando, no Bickley, though the latter has a contract as an assistant for 2015.
Stephen Rowe: What about Campo? He was a great get. We should be throwing the kitchen sink at him.
Andrew Fagan: Roo, please continue.
Mark Ricciuto: Brendan Bolton says he's not ready.
Stephen Rowe: Who?
Mark Ricciuto: The Hawthorn assistant.
Stephen Rowe: Roo? Why can't we offer him a senior assistant to help out? A Craigy, an Ayresy, a Kerley, those sorts of blokes?
Mark Ricciuto: Goodwin gave me the same excuse. Not ready. It's probably getting down to Bassett and Dew.
Nigel Smart: Hmm, worried about the brand with Dew. Probably too successful for our supporters to please them. From the other club, etc. etc.
Stephen Rowe: I reckon Bassett. I had a text message last night saying we must get him. Throw the kitchen sink at him. Get him here. I tell ya what: I reckon we'd get that Gorringe bloke for sure if Bass came. Danger would probably stay for 2015. Let's go for it. Let's draw the line in the sand. The 19th Man is on board.
Rob Chapman: When do we make a decision? I suppose we can't next week, as we'll all be listening to Trade Radio to see if Danger wants to go. Look, before we wrap it, what is happening by way of marketing. Any luck on those NEVER PULL US TOGETHER T-shirts?
Nigel Smart: We are considering a lot of things. We've just hired a company to look into that sort of stuff.
Rob Chapman: And it's costing us a bloomin' fortune.
Andrew Fagan: Not Leigh Whicker again?
Rob Chapman: Nah, some mob from Melbourne.
Nigel Smart: Yeah, Gemba.
Andrew Fagan: Oh geez, that's James Hird's mob.
Stephen Rowe: Who's James Hird?