The most important issue of our time!

TigerTank

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Thread starter #1
As Bigfooty's resident villain I’ve tackled all the tough issues head-on. War, drugs, Aboriginal reconciliation, Essendon and Collingwood supporters are weiners … I’ve taken ‘em all on.

But now I’m going for the jugular on the key issue of our time – that the 80s was utterly superior to the 90s in every way, and that those of us who were teens then were so much better at being teens than were the teens of the 90s.

To all you navel-gazing gimboids of the 90s, let me lay it all out for you. Our music was better than yours, so was our dress sense, our nightclub scene, our chicks, our view of the universe – all totally and utterly better than yours.

Before you have a hissy-fit (the instinctive reaction of your whining generation), give me a moment to prove to you our greatness and your “weeniness”.

Let’s start with music, something that the teens of the 90s get so worked up about. You’ve had Nirvana, Alanis Morrisette and Mariah Carey – all of them were so utterly pretentious and “serious” about the whole thing, with their heads so far up their arses they could see their large intestines. For f#ck’s sake people, you’re musicians! Get some perspective – it’s not like you’ve cured cancer or anything!

We had Duran Duran, Georgio Moroder and the Human League, and Billy Idol. OK, you can argue about the relative musical merits of the two groups (I would still back the 80s crew against the 90s any day), but at least ours didn’t take themselves so frigging seriously (which given their respective hairdos is hardly surprising, I suppose).

Shyte, even those singers who had hits in both decades were better back then. In the 80s Madonna was cute, voluptuous and fun, and we all felt as though we might be able to jump her in the hay. Then she had Like a Prayer and the whole thing went to her head. Now she’s a scrawny, stuck-up cow, who isn’t half as good as she thinks he is, and hasn’t really had a good song since Vogue.

Back then we had Wham! and they were ordinary – but you have post-Dunny Dater George Michael. And think of what Michael Jackson looked like now in the 80s compared to the 1999 model. He was ‘Bad’ back them, but now he’s just plain atrocious!

As for clothes, what is your obsession with brown, for f#ck’s sake? It didn’t look good in 1970, it didn’t look good on a Hawthorn jumper, and doesn’t look any better now. And what’s with the beige beanie? Who said that was a good look? You look just like homeless people.

No, your mob got so caught up with “fashion”, that you forgot about style. We had style, and where there is style, fashion is irrelevant. Does the name Don Johnson mean anything to you?

Climb out of a white Chevy Camaro Z28 wearing a white suit jacket, a baby-blue t-shirt, 501s and mirrored aviator shades, and tell me that you don’t look cool. You can’t.

Now try this. Climb out of a Daiwoo Cielo in a brown knitted cardigan and wearing a biege beanie. Cool? Give me strength!

You think you’re so cool with your raves and your ecstacy. Our nightclubs were so cool, we didn’t need ecstacy. All we needed was Pseudo Echo.

And our chicks looked better too. So, they had big hair (just like Kim Wild), but at least it was on their heads, not under their arms (Alanis Morrisette again!)

We were much more casual about life than you. All we cared about was getting rich and getting laid. No wonder we were in such a good mood!

You, on the other hand, moan about poverty and groan about environment, as if moaning and groaning will fix anything. And you talk about having “attitude”. Having “attitude” is a euphemism for being self-smug arsehole.

So do yourself a favour kiddies, and get yourself a pale blue suit, a Billy Ocean record (vinyl, NOT CD) and chill out. If you’re lucky you may even score yourself a top-looking chick with big hair in the process.


* for those who can’t tell, this article is at least partially tongue-in-cheek.
 

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BomberBoy

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#7
Why be in the 80's with their hair style. When they say you can't have over 15 kg of carry on luggage you gotta say, damn my hair weighs more than that..

HEHEH - Stealing from Guido Hatzis..
 
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#9
Good work TT, even punk rock was better in the 80's. I used to be drunk every single night during the 80's and I'm sure the ladies just expected it of us.

Bomber boy, have you ever read Viz magazine? The reason I ask is that your signature is missing one bit.

"It is harder for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven than for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle".......should then say, "well that's Cliff Richard ****ed then".
You gotta love the Bible.:eek:
 

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jod23

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#15
No way the 90's kicked ass!! We had Nirvana, NWA, Public Enemy, Oasis, Pearl Jam.....we had Corey and Corey :D The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ... The Playstation ... and most importantly we had Michael Jordan! The 90's kicked ass.
 

play on

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#16
The 90s sucked big time. Apart from the Collingwood premiership win of course.

I love the 80s retro music, mind you, I love music from the 50s right up until today, however the music from the 80s was the best. Go City fm.

Drugs in nightclubs? Their is a few reasons why I have never been to any nightclub, and drugs is one of the reasons why.

Clothing? I have never really cared about the way I look, or the way others look with clothing, so I have no comment on this.

Girls look much better now. That is the only thing I can talk about to defend the 90s. They are 20 times better.

I loved the record player. I love cassettes as well. Why people felt we ever needed to change from records, or cassettes, to bloody cds, I will never know.

Back in the 80s, I could walk the streets at night, and feel safe. You would have to be mad to wonder the streets at night these days. Crime everywhere you went during the 90s, and things have not changed since the 90s finished, which is a shame.


So, their you are. Their have been too many negatives from the 90s. I am certainly glad those days are over, and I remember New years eve. As soon as it was midnight, and we started the year 2000, I made a point of saying how glad I was that the 90s were over. I had such a relieved look on my face. I seriously thought that maybe things would change. Maybe the crime rate would drop in a big way. I guess some things never change.
:mad: :mad: :mad:

By the way, my teenage years started in 1993.
 

Grendel

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#17
*Grendel sits back, puts on a 'best of the Nolan Sisters' combs the sideys while snuggling into his lumberjacket - with real wool lining - enjoys the mocca's warming his feet and takes out the last vintage bottle of YooHoo and prepares to watch the Starskey and Hutch all night retrospective (with Huggy bear inside info interview) thinking to himself 'ahh these kids if only they had been around in the seventies to have truly known a real fun decade'*

proviso in this of course is that footy was slightly better in the eighties (by about one flag from memory)! :)
 
T

The Hitman

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#18
Born in the 80's, grew up in the 90's, become an adult in the new millenium...

Can I really lose? :D :D :D

But seriously, I'm sure the eighties were great for you big-hair havin', New Order lovin', disco dancin' selves...but when you grow up in the 90's you understand what is going on.

Bands like Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and such may seem serious, but it's the drugs that blossomed in the eighties that f*cked them up.

The eighties brought the end of the Cold War, Chernobyl, the Challenger disaster, and of course my birth.

The nineties brought IMO the best music, reflectiveness, and a generation growing up too fast.

The suicide rate when up, the unemployment went down. I hated growing up in the nineties, but I loved it at the same time...

Anyway, cream white jackets never looked good... ;) :p :D

The Hitman
 
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#19
As somebody who's teenage years straddled the 70s & 80s, you 80s youngsters missed some of the best stuff prior to 1980.

To be 13 in 1978 meant the Village People, Grease, Chic, Saturday Night Fever, Patrick Hernandez Born to Be Alice, Kiss , Wuthering Heights, Boney M Ian Dury and the Blockheads, Countdown in its heydey, Ron Barassi's winged keel shirt.

It then got all too pretentious in the mid - late 80s (Spandau Ballet, Human League anyone - the big hair fashion was taken on by the boys, and it wasn't the bogan rock star hair, it was teased and styled ) , and too serious and heavy in the 90s.
 

Mobbs

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Moderator #21
80s was ahead of its time ... it was retro without a source!!! That's not an 'after my tea break' job, that takes oodles of nouse.

I pity the folks who missed out on Wang Chung, Westworld, Flotsam Jetsam, duMont and Wax.

Drop the boy, drop the boy.

Ooh-err.
 
P

PC28

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#22
Originally posted by Chris_23
I have no doubt that i was born in the wrong era. I was a teen of the 90's and i hated it. I like everything the 80's had to offer (especially the premierships ;) ) I agree entirely with your post, great work.
I agree wholeheartedly.

I mean, seriously, i wouldn't have missed Duran Duran and Adam Ant for the world.
 
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#23
Originally posted by play on
The 90s sucked big time. Apart from the Collingwood premiership win of course.

Drugs in nightclubs? Their is a few reasons why I have never been to any nightclub, and drugs is one of the reasons why.

Back in the 80s, I could walk the streets at night, and feel safe. You would have to be mad to wonder the streets at night these days. Crime everywhere you went during the 90s, and things have not changed since the 90s finished, which is a shame.

By the way, my teenage years started in 1993.
Play on, the 80's were renowned for the copious amounts of speed and LSD in nightclubs............what about alcohol and cigarettes? Only the two most dangerous drugs.
What were you doing walking the streets at night as a 1-10 year old anyway?
My point here is that the 80's weren't this magical fantasy land where nothing bad happened compared to the 80's. I used to feel threatened walking the streets in the 80's, always keeping an eye out for trouble (and I don't mean starting it :)) and it's just different illicit drugs being used nowadays, but they've always been there.
 

TigerTank

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Thread starter #24
Originally posted by Santos L Helper
My point here is that the 80's weren't this magical fantasy land where nothing bad happened compared to the 90's.
Yes they were!

They were a magical Hazy Fantazie land where nothing bad happened!
 

Rusty Brookes

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#25
Grew up a teen in the 80s as well. My musical tastes leant (and still do) to underground rock and the 80s was awesome in Australia. Eastern Dark, Died Pretty, New Christs, Celibate Rifles (still going strong), Bored just to name a few great rock bands of the time.

Plus how good were video arcade games in the 80s. I love Playstation but Golden Axe, Exciting Hour Wrestling, Rampage, 1942 and Galaga were all and, still are, awesome.

Plus four flags for the Hawks made it an even more enjoyable time.
 
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