The "Saturday Arvo" team ... a recap

[joe444]

I've heard enough from others, so I checked out the broadcast of what apparently was a cluster**** of a Saturday broadcast from Seven:

HAME/HAMMER's commentary
"The umpire reloads" = the first throw-in of the game. WTF?

"Crameri around the place and it spills over the wruiguyilly" = WTF?

"Jacobs, who is going out with Bernie Vince's sister" WTF????

"I think I might have credited a girlfriend to a a player who isn't warranted, er, Baz. Actually Keira Vince is seeing ..." = WTF????

"He's not going out with Bernie Vince's sister" {Basil: "Thanks, Hamo"}= WTF???

Hamo suddenly deepens voice mid first quarter - but could not keep it up and went back to normal after Heppel's goal = WTF???

Then suddenly disappears from commentary late in the first. It's all Basil. Where oh where did Hamo go? Has he been liquidated? Is his brother on the phone? = WTF???

But he's back quarter time to again mispronounce "Saturday" (is it that hard?), awkwardly pause and so on. It is not Satsurday. WTF????

Seems relegated to special comments in the second quarter, noting that a player was a "foster kid". [Basil: "Thanks, Hamo"]. So he's "Hamo" now.

Calls about 15% of the 2nd quarter. Seems to have given up on actually naming Port Adelaide players at times, resorting to "white jumper" - e.g. "kicks to a white jumper; plenty of white jumpers there, and a white jumper wins out!" Bas takes over again.

Who calls Tom Harley "Tommy"? Hammer/Hame/Hamo does! Why? Cos it's Saturday Arvo! It's all cool and relaxed - but different to the cool and relaxed of Saturday night. In the arvo, the callers "share their energy" - "Kirky" said so in the intro.

He's back for 20 seconds - "Umpire reloads" = Random boundary throw in. WTF?? He disappears again for 8 minutes. Are they seriously coaching/fixing him mid-broadcast?

I'm done, it's not even half time.

This is / was an abortion.

Is he John Casey bad? No, John Casey's best was better.

Is he as bad as thatguywhodidthosefewgamesonvflabcbeforePeterDonegantookover? No.

 

[wotdoiput]

I liked in the first quarter when it was kickied into the Essendon forwardline where Chaplin outmarked Crameri..... fo Hamish to say 'oh Crameri wins that too easily'... WTF Chaplin took the mark dick.

Oh the occasions he got the score wrong.

Or when he didnt know Jetta kicked a goal cos he was focusing on Fletcher at the other end, when he was supposed to be calling.

Could go on and on.

 

[Lord Nicholson]

Anyone got any footage of Kirk's apparently bizarre pre-game intro? Dying to take a gander at just how they managed to open what is surely one of the worst 2 hours of sports coverage I think I've ever seen.

 

[Timmy Houlihan]

Anyone got any footage of Kirk's apparently bizarre pre-game intro? Dying to take a gander at just how they managed to open what is surely one of the worst 2 hours of sports coverage I think I've ever seen.

This was the strangest thing I'd ever seen. I had no idea what he was on about, would also love to watch this.

 

[Bugz]

Kirk was incredibly awful. Would watch again though.

I knew Hamo would be bad when in the first minute he called Mick the 'silver fox'- with a smug look on his stupid face.

 

[manboob]

I just don't get it... they pay a billion dollars then trot out this s**t...

The only thing I can think of is they are buttering the brother who might run the AFL up by giving his chromosomally enhanced bro a gig commentating.

 

[The Speaker]

a sandy sandy sandy sandy sandy sandy sandy sandy sandy sandy

Roberts! Roberts!

 

[joe444]

Ah s**t, now I have to keep going

Basil Brett Kirk. Sydney Swans co-captain. He's in the Essendon rooms.

Brett Thanks Basil. I just wanted to give you a bit of an insight into the Saturday afternoon team.
(WTF has this to do with the Essendon rooms?)
We're a bunch of unique individuals. [Raises hand to count names] Malthouse. Harley. Zempilis. McLachlan. And myself. We're gonna [pause] engage with our minds [pause] and our hearts. We're gonna exchange ideas, thoughts and even our energy.
And you speak from your heart. (I do? Awh, shucks, Kirky)
You need to have [pumps fist] courage. (who does? why?)
You need to be honest. [grins scarily] And authentic. (who? me? why?)
We're not always going to get it right. [shrugs] And sometimes.
[pause]
Younotgunna agree with us.
But that's okay. (phew, thought it was a deal-breaker)
Becusjuslikeyou, WE CARE.
[POINTS AT CAMERA IN AN I NEED YOU POSE]
We're passhanutabout thegame.
[smiles again in a spooky pedo way]
So if you wannacomealongfortheride, join us on Saddadayarvos,
Cos we jus love the footy.

AWFUL. And a bit weird.

His halftime interview with Boak was all about leadership. I get the link, but he can't do that every week.

 

[manboob]

You can take the boy out of Sydney but you can't take the disco biscuits out of the boy...

 

[joe444]

Second half:

First, as a GFC fan, I must admit Harley says everything like he's grinning his head off. Malthouse runs rings around the rest of thist breakfast crew's shenanigans.

So it's the second half, and Channel 7 have a new trick - showing a traditional Saddadayarvo super-slo-mo replay of absolutely nothing in order to prevent us from seeing the actual game.

And within minutes, here's Hamo/Hammer: "He goes out with Bernie Vince's sister". Seriously, this again? Later, Angus Monfries is voted by his teammates most likely to "google his own name". WTF??

And it's mid quarter, so Hame the Hammer has disappeared once more. Not that I'm arguing against that. Baz (Baze? Bazzer?) calls the Port mini-comeback on his own for a blissful few minutes. But here's Hammer again, feeding a pre-scripted question to Mick about Dustin Fletcher's age. The Hammer is calling in 30 second bursts now. There's medication for that kind of problem. Still, he has time to tell us what the score would have been "in reality". As opposed to the actual game. Baz takes over again.

It's not horrendous. It's just substandard.

It's community radio calling the VAFA.

 

[mHmmm]

You know things are bad when Glen Jakovich doing commentary puts people to shame, and he's normally terrible in a sadly amusing way. Honestly this commentary was abysmal (mick excluded and Basil seemed fine) but the rest of them might want to look into some "media skills training..."

 

[manboob]

They just need to pilfer some half way intelligent sports writers or anyone. Pay them double and it would still be less than what these clowns are getting paid. I don't care who is putting away whose sisters. Just call the game.

No offence to these blokes but they are uneducated. Not their fault they've just played footy and walked straight into TV. And by uneducated I mean in the ways of sports journalism & media training etc. None of them have done any sort of apprenticeship honing their skills in the bush or on radio. There is a certain skill to being able to articulate what you know into something more than "my name is potato. man kick ball - high mark delicious.. something something elite".

 

[Chops_a_must]

You can take the boy out of Sydney but you can't take the disco biscuits out of the boy...

Seriously for a second.

He is friends with an ex boss of mine. They actually talk like that in everyday situations.

It's ****ing weird. Bizarre emails full of stuff that is exactly like that.

No coincidence, the person is no longer a boss of anyone.

You just couldn't have a meeting with this person because it descended into that sort of stuff.

No, I don't want to put our hearts and minds together. I want some ****ing feedback for this thing due in tomorrow!!!

 

[Chops_a_must]

Also, needs to be a running thread.

 

[soyouthink10]

Two words. Sandy Roberts!

 

[manboob]

 

[soyouthink10]

They just need to pilfer some half way intelligent sports writers or anyone. Pay them double and it would still be less than what these clowns are getting paid. I don't care who is putting away whose sisters. Just call the game.

No offence to these blokes but they are uneducated. Not their fault they've just played footy and walked straight into TV. And by uneducated I mean in the ways of sports journalism & media training etc. None of them have done any sort of apprenticeship honing their skills in the bush or on radio. There is a certain skill to being able to articulate what you know into something more than "my name is potato. man kick ball - high mark delicious.. something something elite".

I don't get this.

You say all of them...

Hamish, Basil, Mick, Tom have all called on Radio first.

By "all" you mean Kirk ?

 

[manboob]

I was talking about commentators in general, as a species, Frawley, King, Jakovich, BT, Shaw, etc. Hamish may have called on radio but he's still rubbish.

 

[soyouthink10]

I was talking about commentators in general, as a species, Frawley, King, Jakovich, BT, Shaw, etc. Hamish may have called on radio but he's still rubbish.

Everyone you named there started on radio too

 

[manboob]

Everyone you named there started on radio too

Ok - remove the on radio part. They are still rubbish

 

[soyouthink10]

Ok - remove the on radio part. They are still rubbish

Haha yeah I hate them all to (except BT and King is okay - better than I expected).

 

[JUBJUB]

I don't get this.

You say all of them...

Hamish, Basil, Mick, Tom have all called on Radio first.

By "all" you mean Kirk ?

Tom hasn't done radio.He went straight to ch7 after he retired.

 

[joe444]

Here, word for word, is that call of Jetta's goal:

"In the end Ryder did a bit of roving work, not cast for that role but did it well. Around the place [wtf?] is Jetta. Cassisi under the ball [no, he was over it]. McVeigh (trailing off) um ... tackles ... (pause) trying to bust through [who?] ... (long pause) it was Lonegan around the corner and another goal!

To Lonegan! Or to Jetta!! [who cares, right? Just keep yelling]

Was it Jetta in the end?

I was watching ... Fletcher who was having a niggle at the other end of the ground."

Unbelievable.




And now it's the last quarter, with Mick telling us that Port are running all over Essendon, whose bench is compromised. Hame the Hammer asks straight away, "Confidence. Either way? Essendon or Port?"

Mick, "Well, Port." And the inanity continues.

Now it's Baz's turn, proving his jokes are also a lightweight version of Denis: "Carlisle. One of two out on the ground. Neither one Belinda but both real go-goers."

But Hammer is undaunted and prepared to take mauling the English language to new levels: "And the locals - the natives - starting to get ... a little bit of up ... up and about about ... about them. They call it juice in America in the building and there's plenty of that now." (what, buildings?). A quick google search reveals no reference to 'juice in the building', so presumably Hame just made that up and is simply lying.

Oh and did you know that Stanton's favourite childhood player was Craig Bradley? Did you care? Did you know that Rodan "self-nominated himself" [wtf?] as the best dancer in the AFL? Did you care? But apparently Jobe Watson has changed his name to Jobe TheSkipper.

And then the utterly stupid finish as the siren rings: "They've won a lot of fans today." Really?

And this was an exciting and close game. Just wait til this brekkie crew get a dull one and they try to entertain us.

 

[wotdoiput]

Here, word for word, is that call of Jetta's goal:

"In the end Ryder did a bit of roving work, not cast for that role but did it well. Around the place [wtf?] is Jetta. Cassisi under the ball [no, he was over it]. McVeigh (trailing off) um ... tackles ... (pause) trying to bust through [who?] ... (long pause) it was Lonegan around the corner and another goal!

To Lonegan! Or to Jetta!! [who cares, right? Just keep yelling]

Was it Jetta in the end?

I was watching ... Fletcher who was having a niggle at the other end of the ground."

Unbelievable.




And now it's the last quarter, with Mick telling us that Port are running all over Essendon, whose bench is compromised. Hame the Hammer asks straight away, "Confidence. Either way? Essendon or Port?"

Mick, "Well, Port." And the inanity continues.

Now it's Baz's turn, proving his jokes are also a lightweight version of Denis: "Carlisle. One of two out on the ground. Neither one Belinda but both real go-goers."

But Hammer is undaunted and prepared to take mauling the English language to new levels: "And the locals - the natives - starting to get ... a little bit of up ... up and about about ... about them. They call it juice in America in the building and there's plenty of that now." (what, buildings?). A quick google search reveals no reference to 'juice in the building'.

Oh and did you know that Stanton's favourite childhood player was Craig Bradley? Did you care? Did you know that Rodan "self-nominated himself" [wtf?] as the best dancer in the AFL? Did you care? But apparently Jobe Watson has changed his name to Jobe TheSkipper.

And then the utterly stupid finish as the siren rings: "They've won a lot of fans today." Really?

And this was an exciting and close game. Just wait til this brekkie crew get a dull one and they try to entertain us.

Quality post.

I laughed when the said the Bombers had made a lot of fans after a close 20 pt win over Port..... hmmm

 

[Burzum]

I really can not believe that he was apparently "head hunted" to lead Foxtel's FoxFooty coverage.