- Joined
- Mar 9, 2003
- Posts
- 56,090
- Likes
- 119,568
- Location
- Queen St & Peter Rd
- AFL Club
- Port Adelaide
- Other Teams
- NUFC, YES.
Three bairns are having a kickabout in the park when a freak thunderstorm appears overhead and produces a bolt of lightning that flattens them all. When they awake they are at the pearly gates with St. Peter looking flustered.
"What's wrong?" says one of the urchins.
"Look," says St. Peter, "there's been a terrible mistake."
"What do you mean?" they ask in unison.
"You were taken before your time. Turns out the lightning wasn't going to kill you, just singe your eyebrows. As you love football so much I've been ordered to reincarnate you with the privilege of becoming an England player... just take a running jump off that cloud shouting what you wish to be reborn as and thy will be done".
The first kid takes the leap of faith shouting "great centre forward!", he is Alan Shearer.
The second kid takes the leap of faith shouting "midfield general!", he is Rob Lee.
As the third kid breaks into a sprint he trips over his feet and plummets back to Earth cursing "stupid f#cking c#nt!". He is Kevin Phillips.
"What's wrong?" says one of the urchins.
"Look," says St. Peter, "there's been a terrible mistake."
"What do you mean?" they ask in unison.
"You were taken before your time. Turns out the lightning wasn't going to kill you, just singe your eyebrows. As you love football so much I've been ordered to reincarnate you with the privilege of becoming an England player... just take a running jump off that cloud shouting what you wish to be reborn as and thy will be done".
The first kid takes the leap of faith shouting "great centre forward!", he is Alan Shearer.
The second kid takes the leap of faith shouting "midfield general!", he is Rob Lee.
As the third kid breaks into a sprint he trips over his feet and plummets back to Earth cursing "stupid f#cking c#nt!". He is Kevin Phillips.

