Long 45 mins coming up. Anyone else see Ashley's interview?
Yes you read that right. The greedy lump actually spoke to the media for the FIRST time in 8 years!
So many laughs to be had.
http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/mike-ashley-newcastle-united-owner-9320583
Speaking to Sky Sports before the match with West Ham, Ashley said:
“I can’t really imagine from Christmas I probably didn’t anticipate anywhere near this situation. Obviously after the last sort of couple of weeks I’m still a little bit shocked by where we find ourselves today.”
Well generally that's what happens when you sell off decent players from a threadbare squad and not reinforce it Mike. Or maybe when you let a coach clearly out of his depth and who's already threatened fans twice this season to manage the team.
When the Sky Sports reporter asked what he would do if the worst happened today and the club were relegated from the Premier League, he said:
“If you’re are talking about investing in the club I will continue the policy of investing in the football club.”
That same investing that's seen us go 3 of the last 4 windows without any first team additions??
“Well the only positive we’ve got club on a sound financial footing are able to spend relatively and punch above our weight in situation the club finds ourselves.”
So...the club had $35m odd sitting in the bank and it wasn't used to reinforce the team? Balance sheet champions and all that!
He went onto say his ambition for the club was to win something. He said: “
We are now definitely going to win something and by the way I shan’t be selling until we do.
Great...looks like we're stuck with him. More hot air to con fans into renewing season tickets.
When pushed on selling the club, he replied:
“Not at any price. And by the way, when I say win something, if we ever get in a position of a Champions League place, that counts as winning something.”
...Not selling because you're getting free advertising and a global audience to see it. Plus the TV money must be handy!
"It is the job of (managing director) Lee Charnley and the football board to make football decisions, as it was with (former managing director) Derek Llambias picking Alan Pardew.
"I will not be picking the next manager.
My job is to make sure they have the maximum amount of financial resources and it is their job to get the best pound-for-pound value out of those resources.
Roughly translated: The inept Charnley will make an appointment based on who the best puppet we can find available at the cheapest asking price and who is happy to tow the company line. We will also give them a shoestring budget and hope they can weave magic!

Laughable stuff.