Analysis The Whipping Boys

Remove this Banner Ad

Log in to remove this ad.

sr36

Brownlow Medallist
Aug 20, 2009
22,988
31,554
Vietnam
AFL Club
Collingwood
So many choices.... its like a kid in a candy store
Player review:
Grundy: He really drew the whips magnificently. After not taking a whip for years, that contract combined with a form slump was an absolute blessing.
WHE + Thomas: More of their usual whip absorbing consistency. At times Thomas looked like doing something, but he gloriously refrained at the last split second to ensure his skin was lacerated.
Callum: what a freak, from the stands he managed to find plenty of whipping.
Tyler: He's blessed to be Callums brother.
Henry and Ruscoe: Outstanding welt prospects.
Madgen: He just has an uncanny ability to pop up for a whip when you don't expect it or know why it occurred.
Noble: Had a couple of kicks smothered. That's all that you need to do if your a short arsed ranga.

Daicos doesn't know how to draw the whips yet. But with expectations now high, that was a promising performance. More of the same and he'll start getting amongst the lashes.

Another frustrating performance from Crisp. The ability is there. He's always good for a couple of headless chook moments. But he's too likeable and does too many good things in between to draw our wrath and feel the sting of leather. I think he'd really benefit from an inflated contract.
 
Last edited:

Markfs

Brownlow Medallist
Nov 13, 2008
14,248
10,646
Fremantle
AFL Club
Collingwood
Other Teams
Margot Robbie's Shaving Team...
Player review:
Grundy: He really drew the whips magnificently. After not taking a whip for years, that contract combined with a form slump was an absolute blessing.
WHE + Thomas: More of their usual whip absorbing consistency. At times Thomas looked like doing something, but he gloriously refrained at the last split second to ensure his skin was lacerated.
Callum: what a freak, from the stands he managed to find plenty of whipping.
Tyler: He's blessed to be Callums brother.
Henry and Ruscoe: Outstanding welt prospects.
Madgen: He just has an uncanny ability to pop up for a whip when you don't expect it or know why it occurred.
Noble: Had a couple of kicks smothered. That's all that you need to do if your a short arsed ranga.

Daicos doesn't know how to draw the whips yet. But with expectations now high, that was a promising performance. More of the same and he'll start getting amongst the lashes.

Another frustrating performance from Crisp. The ability is there. He's always good for a couple of headless chook moments. But he's too likeable and does too many good things in between to draw our wrath and feel the sting of leather. I think he'd really benefit from an inflated contract.
You could probably line the whole list up except for Moore and give them all 40 lashes.

Great to see Treloar finally achieving his rightful level of being an elite player. He carved us up on Friday and made our midfield look second-rate. I never liked him while he was playing with us, but now I love him. He's a jet. The sky is the limit for him. All of this just goes to show you that Buckley knows nothing about football.

Grundy is gone. His head must be in adelaide. Maybe we can send the rest of his body by the end of the year. We might begin early by telling him that his midfield mates dont want him in the team.

Josh Thomas already knows that everyone doesnt want him. We could get something from his mother, but I'm not sure we can budge him and get him to leave. He's probably on half a million a year so we will need to pay another team at least 600K and throw in a second round pick.

Callum played a slightly better game than Trey. I look at the stats some time early in the second half and Trey had lost 2 metres... so i figure that Callum in the stands played slightly better.

It's good to see everyone hasn't overlooked madge's performance. He's the kind of guy you tend to forget until you looking for someone to dump the next week. He's reliable that way.
 

sr36

Brownlow Medallist
Aug 20, 2009
22,988
31,554
Vietnam
AFL Club
Collingwood
I just had a quick look through the team, by my reckoning Pendles, Quaynor and Mihocek are the only ones who have never had stints where they've risen to be whipping boys. It makes you wonder why the hell Pendles is captain.
 

Markfs

Brownlow Medallist
Nov 13, 2008
14,248
10,646
Fremantle
AFL Club
Collingwood
Other Teams
Margot Robbie's Shaving Team...
I just had a quick look through the team, by my reckoning Pendles, Quaynor and Mihocek are the only ones who have never had stints where they've risen to be whipping boys. It makes you wonder why the hell Pendles is captain.

Pendles just gave us a hint on friday....a few fumbles etc. He was just practising letting the fans down on a longer term basis. Plus he has been overshadowed by Grundy who has taken 7 million bucks off of us and has given us in return a stint of putrid football. If brodes continues with his current form, we might see a hall of famer whipping boy. There's a few of us who have held back because of the covid thing etc, but I am probably not alone in intending to launch at Grundy if he doesnt turn around this form. Whipping is going to be too good for him. I think he might undergo the halal treatment.
 

Carringbush2010

Brownlow Medallist
Jun 6, 2016
11,688
7,291
Perth
AFL Club
Collingwood
Other Teams
Pines Football Club
Really the thread title should be the whipping club, and rightly so. Whip this poor excuse for a basket case until it's no longer warranted.
 

Markfs

Brownlow Medallist
Nov 13, 2008
14,248
10,646
Fremantle
AFL Club
Collingwood
Other Teams
Margot Robbie's Shaving Team...
I find that when I have a KFC 5 piece pack, I can be spoilt with attacking the obvious fleshy bits in one big gorge....and that it's best to pick through all the pieces one by one and savour every moment..... we have all year to pound each player into submission. We can make each life a misery. There's plenty of time. They're not going anywhere.
 

jmac70

Premium Platinum
Apr 10, 2010
41,209
43,236
Melbourne
AFL Club
Collingwood
Other Teams
Dan Andrews
I find that when I have a KFC 5 piece pack, I can be spoilt with attacking the obvious fleshy bits in one big gorge....and that it's best to pick through all the pieces one by one and savour every moment..... we have all year to pound each player into submission. We can make each life a misery. There's plenty of time. They're not going anywhere.
What do you do with the potato and gravy?
 

(Log in to remove this ad.)

Markfs

Brownlow Medallist
Nov 13, 2008
14,248
10,646
Fremantle
AFL Club
Collingwood
Other Teams
Margot Robbie's Shaving Team...
I was thinking of ways to embellish the whipping process. The obvious ones are to detail how each player doesn't meet the grade as Pie players.... the failure to be hard enough... to be mongrel enough.... but can we do more?

What if we detail things from our own lives that the players have been responsible for?

The failed marriages? The broken relationships? The failure at work? There is no doubt that the fans have had to wear a severe burden from the failures of Pie players over the years. I've been a total failure at life because of the many losses in grand finals. I'm sure there are others who are in the same situation. We've been allowing pie players to get away scot free for decades for the damage that they have done to the fans. It's time to take a stand...
 

jmac70

Premium Platinum
Apr 10, 2010
41,209
43,236
Melbourne
AFL Club
Collingwood
Other Teams
Dan Andrews
Massive selection coming up tonight. If, as expected, C Brown takes his place, he could well overtake Grundy for the number one spot. The suspense is killing me!
 

sr36

Brownlow Medallist
Aug 20, 2009
22,988
31,554
Vietnam
AFL Club
Collingwood
Massive selection coming up tonight. If, as expected, C Brown takes his place, he could well overtake Grundy for the number one spot. The suspense is killing me!
We had a slow start against Dogs, which cost us the game - I put it down to us not getting the whips out early. We were concerned that Grundy might return to 2018/2019 form. We wereen't yet sure whether Henry and Ruscoe deserved the flog. And there was an outside chance that Thomas and WHE would recapture their form too. Madgen didn't spud it up as much as we'd like and Cox didn't deserve a whip either. Callum out was a big loss as we would have set a cracking whipping pace from the get go with him in. I really hope he's back. The problem is that whoever he replaces is likely to be a really good lashee.
 

Vicky Park

Premium Platinum
Sep 11, 2012
13,609
30,220
Umm...
AFL Club
Collingwood
If WHE puts in a similar performance to last week, he can take the crown for 2021. It wil be over. Non-negotiable. No-one else could possibly beat him. Surely?

Because never in the history of whipping boys has anyone put in such a beige, insipid, lacklustre and invisible performance on the field of play. Other whipping boys look like they at least try. WHE looked like he wanted to run away. As did I.
 

Matrix10

All Australian
Apr 15, 2016
807
1,120
AFL Club
Collingwood
Massive selection coming up tonight. If, as expected, C Brown takes his place, he could well overtake Grundy for the number one spot. The suspense is killing me!
Should be neck and neck to the line, Callum I`ve been gifted 50 games Brown by a nose at the line over Grundy
 

Remove this Banner Ad