The worst current AFL contracts ranked

[V23]

From least worst to most lol-worthy:

Clayton Oliver - Signed a long-term deal on massive money before going slightly off the rails and turning into an absolute turnip. At least he was good once upon a time, though.

Rating:

Brad Scott - He’s a shite coach but thankfully everyone but Essington have worked that out. Would rather be a whinging tosser than do anything meaningful with the list or gameplan.

Rating:

Noah Balta

21

Noah Balta

Age

26

Ht

194cm

Wt

105kg

Pos.

D/F

Career

Season

Last 5

D

9.8

2star

K

6.7

3star

HB

3.1

3star

M

2.7

3star

T

1.9

4star

MG

236.3

4star

D

12.0

3star

K

6.7

3star

HB

5.3

3star

M

4.0

4star

T

0.3

1star

MG

233.0

4star

D

7.0

2star

K

5.0

2star

HB

2.0

2star

M

1.8

2star

T

1.8

4star

MG

217.4

4star

- 7 years for this potato. Seven!? I mean… please. Even if he didn’t turn out to be a shit-stain of a human being, this contract still makes no sense.

Rating:

Tom De Koning

12

Tom De Koning

Age

26

Ht

201cm

Wt

102kg

Pos.

Ruck

Career

Season

Last 5

D

8.0

2star

K

3.0

1star

HB

5.0

4star

CL

0.5

2star

HO

1.5

4star

No current season stats available

D

8.0

2star

K

3.0

1star

HB

5.0

4star

CL

0.5

3star

HO

1.5

5star

- 8 years. Wtf!? $1.7m per year!? Ayyy lmao! I swear even Enron’s financials were in better shape than this absolute rabble.

Editor’s note: Thanks for the first-round compo pick, Saints

Rating:

Eric Hipwood

30

Eric Hipwood

Age

28

Ht

204cm

Wt

94kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

10.0

3star

K

7.4

3star

HB

2.6

2star

M

3.9

4star

T

1.3

3star

G

1.5

5star

D

11.1

3star

K

8.4

3star

HB

2.7

2star

M

4.1

4star

T

1.1

2star

G

1.1

5star

D

10.6

3star

K

8.4

4star

HB

2.2

2star

M

3.6

4star

T

1.6

4star

G

2.4

5star

- Signed a six year deal recently. Six. Year. Deal. I could play on this weird Rafa look-a-like and keep him to under a goal a game.

Rating:

 

[zackah]

Quite a multi fred melt going on today. I think poor V needs a hug. Do you need to spend some time in the safe space fred friend?

 

[frggr]

Charlie Curnow

30

Charlie Curnow

Age

28

Ht

194cm

Wt

94kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

13.3

3star

K

9.7

4star

HB

3.6

3star

M

5.3

5star

T

2.2

4star

G

1.3

5star

No current season stats available

D

10.8

3star

K

6.4

3star

HB

4.4

4star

M

3.2

4star

T

1.6

4star

G

0.8

4star

til 2029 is pretty good.

As is Sam Walsh

18

Sam Walsh

Age

25

Ht

184cm

Wt

84kg

Pos.

Mid

Career

Season

Last 5

D

25.1

5star

K

13.5

5star

HB

11.6

5star

M

5.1

5star

T

3.2

5star

CL

3.4

5star

No current season stats available

D

26.2

5star

K

15.4

5star

HB

10.8

5star

M

6.0

5star

T

3.2

5star

CL

4.8

5star

Harry McKay

10

Harry Mckay

Age

27

Ht

200cm

Wt

106kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

9.9

3star

K

7.5

3star

HB

2.4

2star

M

5.5

5star

T

1.6

4star

G

1.4

5star

D

6.6

1star

K

4.6

2star

HB

2.0

1star

M

3.6

4star

T

1.4

2star

G

1.4

5star

D

8.8

3star

K

6.8

3star

HB

2.0

2star

M

4.4

4star

T

0.8

3star

G

2.0

5star

on any contract also laughable

 

[Bont2Bruce]

Where is the Michael Voss option?

 

[V23]

Quite a multi fred melt going on today. I think poor V needs a hug. Do you need to spend some time in the safe space fred friend?

You think everything’s a ‘melt’

 

[Meteoric Rise]

The worst contract in footy without a shadow is the one that binds Jacob Weitering

23

Jacob Weitering

Age

27

Ht

195cm

Wt

102kg

Pos.

Def

Career

Season

Last 5

D

13.8

4star

K

9.1

4star

HB

4.7

3star

M

5.6

5star

T

1.3

3star

MG

189.4

3star

No current season stats available

D

16.8

4star

K

10.8

4star

HB

6.0

4star

M

6.0

5star

T

0.8

3star

MG

263.4

4star

to the Carltoon Football Club until the end of 2031. Poor bastard.

 

[HairyO]

The worst contract in footy without a shadow is the one that binds Jacob Weitering to the Carltoon Football Club until the end of 2031. Poor bastard.

Imagine waking up every day knowing you were once the highest rated kid in the country but also wake up every day knowing you will only ever play for Carlton.

I mean **** me that is cruelty to animals.

 

[Madas]

The worst contract in footy without a shadow is the one that binds Jacob Weitering to the Carltoon Football Club until the end of 2031. Poor bastard.

No wonder he never smiles
Poor Kent

 

[the avoca drover]

No wonder he never smiles
Poor Kent

At least he knows a scam when he sees it.

 

[Geelong Dynasty]

Backmen should never get more than 4 year deals, let’s be honest if you know what you’re doing you can pluck them from local leagues and pay them peanuts

 

[Purple Suit]

$2m for Hardly Reid. It’s like 18k a Clanger or 35k a free kick against.