e (maybe - at 4 years - I have not been married long enough to qualify?).
7-8 years? I'm thinking minimum 10 but at same time don't think too much will change from 8-10 years.
This 'love' is tangible in a variety of ways;
- Our sex life now is MUCH better than the early (pre-marital and early marriage) days - we know each others likes and turn ons more and have become much more adventurous (lost all self-consciousness/shyness).
- She is more physically attractive to me than she used to be (helps that her skin has improved and her body is better - she is also more mature and carries herself more confidently and sexily)
- Our interests and tastes have converged over time meaning we have more fun together than we used to.
- We laugh more as we have more in jokes from shared experiences and are more secure meaning it is harder to offend
- We have become more familiar with each other's deepest vulnerabilities/issues and still love and like each other - scoff all you want but this has meant a deeper love - particularly when you know you are loved and accepted for exactly who you are (even your darkest perversities) not just who you think you are (or portray yourself to be). (This has acted to make our sex life a 'deeper' and more intimate experience too).
- As aforementioned, my wife has tried things that I like (and she doesn't) growing to like them herself (and vice versa). This has meant more to talk about, better travel and holiday experiences, more enjoyable hobbies (e.g. she genuinely loves footy now - to the point she'll go without me), better cooking and eating out, etc etc. This means less arguments, more fun, etc.
- She has more energy now and gets less worked up about minor issues = improved relationship.
- We have better learnt how not to irriate each other and are far more relaxed about most things in life.
- The above are simply the tangible things - there are plenty of intagibles about how we feel (or our love if you prefer) than the above.
So, after 7-8 years (4 of marriage), our relationship has definately IMPROVED and we are definately more 'in love' post marriage.
Good post but I find a few things odd with this. namely; "Our interests and tastes have converged over time meaning we have more fun together than we used to".
Why is this odd?
1. Because the average bloke likes sport, beer, and tits and the average girl likes shopping, shoes, shit music and shit films. You go on to say she has learnt to like somethings you're into and you somethings her....
Question:
Why does it seem you both think you have to like the same stuff? My partner likes shit music, shit TV shows, in fact the only thing i like that she likes is our kids, alcohol, and most mutual friends.
There is just no way i can bring myself to like crappy reality TV or The Black Eyed Peas. Nor do I see a need to. In fact, I think I'd be doing myself a disservice not following the things I really like, vice versa.
Of course I could go out and find a girl who likes Led Zepellin and Pink Floyd and who has an interest in gratuitous violence movies, football, cricket, and surfing the internet, but she'd probably have a penis.
2. The sex thing. This is the first thing I get into when meeting a girl. Sex first policy. That prevents the "Oh, and by the way, I like to have my baws tickled by dwarf with a feather duster when I'm having sex" conversation 3 years into a relationship. That shit is up front and centre because sex is one of the most important parts of any relationship.
3. The excepted for who you really are thing. Surely that's an internal thing? Like a security thing. Pretty sure if a partner is there 10 years later and it makes you feel accepted then it isn't so much a love thing but an "i feel secure". Taker him/her away and replace with someone else and the answer is still "i feel secure someone stays with me for this long".
As I said, a good post, just a few things struck me as unusual for a relationship.