If I was doing the same thing for 15 years without putting any effort in, I'd be seriously questioning it's value too.
If I did the same job for 15 years without ever growing, developing or putting in effort I'd feel I had wasted my time and would be looking elsewhere.
If i played the same sport for 15 years without ever training, learning or getting better I'd find a new sport.
If I'd been married for 15 years without ever trying to develop a relationship, I'd be bored and look for a new wife.
If I planted a tree and didn't care for it for 15 years....it might survive, but would lack the colour, height and strength of one tendered with care and consideration.
(I've spent 14 years on BF....and I'm stopping my thought process there)
....
I don't think it's you, your wife or the general nature of relationships at fault here quickstraw - just your acknowledged lack of effort or care in developing the relationship itself.
If I did the same job for 15 years without ever growing, developing or putting in effort I'd feel I had wasted my time and would be looking elsewhere.
If i played the same sport for 15 years without ever training, learning or getting better I'd find a new sport.
If I'd been married for 15 years without ever trying to develop a relationship, I'd be bored and look for a new wife.
If I planted a tree and didn't care for it for 15 years....it might survive, but would lack the colour, height and strength of one tendered with care and consideration.
(I've spent 14 years on BF....and I'm stopping my thought process there)
....
I don't think it's you, your wife or the general nature of relationships at fault here quickstraw - just your acknowledged lack of effort or care in developing the relationship itself.
I just don't understand the whole effort thing. As soon as you're making effort you're trying to be someone you're not and you're trying to artificially massage a relationship.
If any of you guys spend much time on trying to make people like you more or try to make yourself like someone more, you're wasting energy. Personally I comfortable with who I am and have been able to run a pretty good life without too many major compromises. Life's good and the joke is on you guys who are making a big effort.
"Develop a relationship"? wtf? That's what I do with clients and team members to win their trust and either get their business or get them to perform. I don't do that shit with friends and partners. I am who I am.
