Things that sh*t me the sixteenth

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kickazz

Brownlow Medallist
Apr 12, 2010
11,920
18,045
Melbourne
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YouTube videos with a voiceover explaining something where they edit all the talking such that it feels like they are not taking a breath because you know you don't want your clip to appear too long because nobody will watch it then because we are all impatient but I've got so much to say so I'll read it all out then edit out the blank spaces so it is wall to wall talking it's all there and just *en un listenable give us a chance to take in what you are trying to say you muppet less is more.
 

gaskin

Brownlow Medallist
Aug 19, 2009
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YouTube videos with a voiceover explaining something where they edit all the talking such that it feels like they are not taking a breath because you know you don't want your clip to appear too long because nobody will watch it then because we are all impatient but I've got so much to say so I'll read it all out then edit out the blank spaces so it is wall to wall talking it's all there and just *en un listenable give us a chance to take in what you are trying to say you muppet less is more.

i see what you did there bill hader GIF
 

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Engimal v3

https://www.stan.com.au/sport
Sep 21, 2017
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Hubby just said something similar

“Bought myself a cuppa-soup for lunch. It was disgusting, can’t believe I ever ate that s**t”


Don’t think I’ve ever tasted a nice soup from a can, pouch or box - makes me I’ll just thinking about it

Tomato soup
 

kickazz

Brownlow Medallist
Apr 12, 2010
11,920
18,045
Melbourne
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Hubby just said something similar

“Bought myself a cuppa-soup for lunch. It was disgusting, can’t believe I ever ate that s**t”


Don’t think I’ve ever tasted a nice soup from a can, pouch or box - makes me I’ll just thinking about it

There are rare exceptions but most of them just seem like a sachet of salt.
 

Over The Post

Perrottet's Spiritual Advisor
Nov 17, 2007
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Took the two non-going lawnmowers back to the factory today and went through the ol' "start ya bastard" routine until they capitulated.

Both had fouled plugs, gas torch for three minutes cured that. Cleaned, gapped, nice fat spark.

Tipped the old petrol out and replaced with fresh stuff.

Air cleaners were degunked.

Primer bulbs were pressed until a good squirt of petrol came out (more like 7-8 pumps, not the 3 as advertised).

Still nogo so off come the air cleaners again and in goes a slug of ethanol straight to the open carb. Lawnmower goes brrrr!!!

Now that they are actually going, let them warm up, then stop and restart a few times To Be Sure. All good. Someone else has "repaired" partner's mower previously, and you need to short out a wire with a screwdriver to stop it. I'll fix that one day.

Oil in partner's mower is way overfull according to the dipstick, so rest dipstick back on the oil hole (don't want any crap falling in!) and went inside to get the oil and drain pan and a couple of paper towels.

Partner sees me and follows me out. I puff out my chest and strut over to her mower. "Look! It starts first time every time!" Leaned down, gave the handle a tug, lawnmower goes brrrr!!! So proud.

So proud for the half second before the arsebastard oil cap dipstick flew upward closely followed by a volcano of black used-oil droplets which rained down on her mower, my mower, the eight feet of concrete between them, and me. And of course there was no stopping it until I'd grabbed the screwdriver and leaned into the rain and shorted the *er out. Looked like the Exxon Valdez had run aground in front of the factory.

She thought it was highly amusing. Took me the best part of an hour and a half to finish changing the oil and use a litre of detergent and the pressure washer to clean both mowers and the concrete. Thank * it was fine and I did the job outside and not actually inside the factory.

Lawnmowers s**t me.
 
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Catfish Alley

Brownlow Medallist
Aug 13, 2007
19,343
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Had to go downtown to the Australian Consulate to renew my passport the other day. Handed in paperwork, he had a look over it and I paid. Took a few minutes. Seems like something that could just be done by mail.
 

Quivorir

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Day Off
Mar 29, 2010
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Why the * don't people take no for an answer?

Lady in the offices birthday today so it means cake. It has cream in at that I dont eat so I say no thanks. What follows is 10 minutes of people trying to hand me the plate and saying just try it. I'm a grown man for * sake I know what I do and don't like.

Similar to when I go a work colleagues house just to pick him up or drop something off, he offers me a drink. Sometimes I'll accept, other times I don't want a ******* can of coke so I say no. Then it's 10 minutes of "are you sure?" "come on just take it"

* sake people.
 

Billy ray

Brownlow Medallist
Nov 10, 2013
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Hell no
Why the * don't people take no for an answer?

Lady in the offices birthday today so it means cake. It has cream in at that I dont eat so I say no thanks. What follows is 10 minutes of people trying to hand me the plate and saying just try it. I'm a grown man for * sake I know what I do and don't like.

Similar to when I go a work colleagues house just to pick him up or drop something off, he offers me a drink. Sometimes I'll accept, other times I don't want a ******* can of coke so I say no. Then it's 10 minutes of "are you sure?" "come on just take it"

* sake people.
should have grabbed the plate of cake and dropped it
 

the_interloper

Brownlow Medallist
Aug 1, 2006
22,023
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Melbourne
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I love my electric mower and snipper. Two batteries on rotation for my mower gets my reasonably sized lawns done. The snipper just takes the batteries I already have for the drills so I never run out of power for that as I have so many.

Does the electric mower and snipper come with a hook for your handbag?
 

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the_interloper

Brownlow Medallist
Aug 1, 2006
22,023
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Why the * don't people take no for an answer?

Lady in the offices birthday today so it means cake. It has cream in at that I dont eat so I say no thanks. What follows is 10 minutes of people trying to hand me the plate and saying just try it. I'm a grown man for * sake I know what I do and don't like.

Similar to when I go a work colleagues house just to pick him up or drop something off, he offers me a drink. Sometimes I'll accept, other times I don't want a ******* can of coke so I say no. Then it's 10 minutes of "are you sure?" "come on just take it"

* sake people.

That shits me too. I mean offering food is part of people being hospitable I guess so knocking it back can put some off (particularly if that person is an Italian grandmother) but yeah people need to be a bit more aware.

I was at a work dinner a while ago and this (*******) work colleague tried to make me have the last bit of Naan bread. "Cmon mate have it, there's only one left, it's really good", went on for quite a bit. I got annoyed and said quite shortly "Why don't you eat it champ?" and he let it go.
 

FRUMPY

Hall of Famer
Aug 18, 2006
35,618
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That shits me too. I mean offering food is part of people being hospitable I guess so knocking it back can put some off (particularly if that person is an Italian grandmother) but yeah people need to be a bit more aware.

I was at a work dinner a while ago and this (*******) work colleague tried to make me have the last bit of Naan bread. "Cmon mate have it, there's only one left, it's really good", went on for quite a bit. I got annoyed and said quite shortly "Why don't you eat it champ?" and he let it go.

ive raised this one before when the bosses wife (also worked at out work) made breakfast for an early meeting and i had already eaten and said 'no thanks ive already had breakfast' and then she proceeded to tell me how rude i was for not eating the breakfast she had prepared....

i proceeded to tell her i think its rude to try and force someone to eat something they dont want to eat....🤣
 

Syd

Kiss my Assterisk*
Mar 13, 2003
22,420
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Why the * don't people take no for an answer?

Lady in the offices birthday today so it means cake. It has cream in at that I dont eat so I say no thanks. What follows is 10 minutes of people trying to hand me the plate and saying just try it. I'm a grown man for * sake I know what I do and don't like.
the-office-pam-beesly.gif
 

Richard Cranium

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 16, 2008
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Why the * don't people take no for an answer?

Lady in the offices birthday today so it means cake. It has cream in at that I dont eat so I say no thanks. What follows is 10 minutes of people trying to hand me the plate and saying just try it. I'm a grown man for * sake I know what I do and don't like.

Similar to when I go a work colleagues house just to pick him up or drop something off, he offers me a drink. Sometimes I'll accept, other times I don't want a ******* can of coke so I say no. Then it's 10 minutes of "are you sure?" "come on just take it"

* sake people.
Should've just had a piece of the cake you bloody sook
 

craigos

Brownlow Medallist
Sep 2, 2014
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Why the * don't people take no for an answer?

Lady in the offices birthday today so it means cake. It has cream in at that I dont eat so I say no thanks. What follows is 10 minutes of people trying to hand me the plate and saying just try it. I'm a grown man for * sake I know what I do and don't like.

Similar to when I go a work colleagues house just to pick him up or drop something off, he offers me a drink. Sometimes I'll accept, other times I don't want a ******* can of coke so I say no. Then it's 10 minutes of "are you sure?" "come on just take it"

* sake people.

I've put on free lunch for employees countless amounts of times, there's 3 types of people I reckon. People who eat like it's their last meal, people who grab a quick bite and bounce and those who avoid the thing altogether because they have such disdain for their colleagues they'd prefer to not spend a second more in their company than needed.
 

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