gastro. pissing through the eye of a needle at the moment. frequently. so hungry and thirsty
It's the worst Jerry the worst!
Had it two years ago, came out both ends (sometimes at the same freaking time!!!). Ruined a Seinfeld inspired near 20 year vomit free streak too
Felt off most of the afternoon (watching Hawthorn vs St Kilda on tv) thought I was just going to end up with a cold at the end of the day. Ate dinner as per normal, but it hit me less than an hour after that, zero control once I sat on the toilet. Then out of nowhere i open my mouth and started spewing too. I wound up either puking, pooping (or both at the same time) a handful of times every hour for the next 8 hours.
I stopped and thought/hoped the worst was over so I set upon rehydrating myself after the experience. Didn't drink too much water all at once, but just had a bit here and there every 20-30 minutes. I wasn't in too bad condition, more worn out from not sleeping than being worn out from the other stuff lol.
A few hours into the rehydrating process, I threw all of the water I drank back up

. I started feeling really seedy after that (as well as sad and sorry for myself lol). I didn't throw up again for another couple of hours, but still had to bolt and sit on the toilet every so often. After the final time I threw up (late in the afternoon) I really was over it, even though I can't sleep during the day time (have never been able to fall asleep) I just shut my eyes for the rest of the time, didn't fall asleep until later in the night.
I didn't vomit or poop again after that so the worst of it had come and gone over the course of 18 hours.
That said my body didn't return to normal until a month later!