Society & Culture Things You Do Simply To Be A Dog...

[LondonCalling]

Occasionally setting peoples hair on fire when they're falling asleep at their desk is pretty funny for shits and giggles.

 

[Plugger35]

Driving through big puddles on the sides of roads where people are either walking or waiting at a bus stop= hilarious

We used to do a variation of that where a mate of mine had a really loud air horn in his car. A favourite pasttime of ours late at night was driving up behind hitchhikers and other drunk stragglers heading home from the pub, sounding the air horn and watching them s**t themselves.

Used to be funny watching them give us the finger and mouthing obscenities as we drove away too.

 

[100action]

That makes no sense. I wipe my ass in the same cubicle. On my way out I put the lid down for some poor bloke to discover the surprise.

then the paper you use would be covering the s**t thus ruining the experience.

 

[wce4premiership]

Im sorry, I thought this thread was things you do simply to be a dog. Not, things you do which are standard maneuvers...

FWIW its not a standard maneuver, it is dangerous. You have to speed to get in front of the other car before you plow into the inevitable parked car on the left... Im not saying I dont do it, but at least I have some perspective and know that I am driving like a prick!

You're way off. It IS a standard maneuver and doesn't require speeding. I always do it, it just means you get to the speed limit before the other person and safely move infront of them, people do it to me idc because i also do it. No speeding involved, no screeching tires, no erratic changing lanes and the car in the right hand lane doesn't need to change their driving patter at all.

 

[ShearMagic9]

Im sorry, I thought this thread was things you do simply to be a dog. Not, things you do which are standard maneuvers...

FWIW its not a standard maneuver, it is dangerous. You have to speed to get in front of the other car before you plow into the inevitable parked car on the left... Im not saying I dont do it, but at least I have some perspective and know that I am driving like a prick!

Accelerating quickly does not equal speeding.

 

[Mr Meeseeks]

Accelerating quickly does not equal speeding.

Fair enough, but to say it isn't dangerous like the chap above you is ridiculous.

Whats even more worrying is that folks are driving about thinking that acts like this are perfectly safe.

What about the kids/idiots on foot who dashed across the road at the last minute, or the car coming from the right trying to turn into your path at the last minute in traffic? How will you avoid hitting them if your punching it off the line?

Sure these people are acting unsafe too, but safe driving involves considering the idiots. Not just following the rules.

 

[wce4premiership]

How do you know the speed of the person in the other lane? They could be taking a regular start you only need to be marginally faster (a good car length or two).

It isn't erratic OR dangerous, i'm not talking about flooring the car and being a dick it's merely moving infront of someone

If people are crossing the road obviously you will stop quite easily since at no point are you speeding nor are you paying less attention than usual.

 

[Mr Meeseeks]

It is illegal to change lanes in an intersection.

It is illegal for a reason, you should not be checking your blind spot or your mirrors when there is a high possibility of pedestrians dashing in front of you. If you are changing lanes without checking your mirrors or blind spot, you are riving dangerously.

Lets not forget there is invariably a parked car sitting on your lane on the other side of the intersection.

How can you not see that this is dangerous???!!

 

[-CG-]

It is illegal to change lanes in an intersection.

It is illegal for a reason, you should not be checking your blind spot or your mirrors when there is a high possibility of pedestrians dashing in front of you. If you are changing lanes without checking your mirrors or blind spot, you are riving dangerously.

Lets not forget there is invariably a parked car sitting on your lane on the other side of the intersection.

How can you not see that this is dangerous???!!

I don't think anyone is suggesting they are changing lanes within the intersection.

If you're alert, attentive and looking ahead I can't see a problem with doing it as long as you have the smarts to slow down when on the odd occasion it doesn't work.

 

[wce4premiership]

I'm not talking about in the intersection. That would definitely require erratic acceleration. I thought the situation was a car up the road, say 50 - 70 metres along the road.

 

[Copulator]

Finally a thread tailor made for me!

Where do I start...

Ok

I rip toilet seats off all the toilets at nightclubs. One time I even went into the female toilets and did it. Watching the girls walk out all pissed off was priceless.

When I was younger I would go around the streets at night taking down street signs and removing other government property. At one stage I had a nice collection of crap in my backyard.

There was a family that my friend hated that lived across the road from him. They had a brick fence at the front of their yard about 3 feet high, so one night we knocked it over.

I wasn't into drugs when I was younger but I had mates who smoked bongs all the time. One night a mate asked me to pack him a bong while he went to the dunny, so I plucked out a fair few of my pubes and packed them in below a fine layer of weed then watched him smoke them and almost choke to death. It smelt terrible.

I hate Cats and other ugly animals, if I see one on the road and no one else is around I swerve towards them and watch them s**t themselves. When I used to work on the docks there were rabbits that would always run accross coode rd, probably cleaned up about a dozen of them though I reckon only half were intentional.

I have a mate who can't drink Vodka without getting sick. One night we were out on the piss and he was just necking every drink he had without even tasting it. Anyway it was my shout and he had been drinking bourbon and cokes all night, so I got him a vodka and coke and gave it to him. Sure enough he smashed it in about 0.6 seconds and straight away realized what happened and called me a **** before approximately 3 seconds later chucking all over the bar lol. He got kicked out, but it was worth it.

Quite often I ask people questions I know will piss them off just to get a reaction or enter into an argument just for the sake of it, espcially when I am bored at work. There was this one fat girl I used to work with who spent ridiculous amounts of money on a naturopath but somehow continued to grow. One day she brought in this massive thing of fries from lordd of the fries and went to town on it. So I approached her and asked her what her what the naturopath would think if they saw her eating that, she went nuts.

I fart on peak hour trains then pretend like nothing happened. This works especially well because my farts are more often then not silent. Its funny looking at people's reaction, they can obviously smell a disturbance but don't want to accuse anyone or do or say anything about it.

If a girl who is clearly beneath my standards cracks on to me, I play games with them or just act like a complete prick. There was one who I went to school with years ago who was at this place I was at. Now this girl is a little bit crazy, not very pretty, someone who I never liked and just unappealing in every way. So I was insulted she thought she had a chance. She told my friend that she wanted to kiss me. I was very blunt in response by responding there was only one thing I would allow her to kiss.

I don't need anyone to tell me I'm a **** or anything because I am already well aware of this fact.

 

[estibador]

You're not a dog dude, you're a budding serial killer...

 

[LondonCalling]

Finally a thread tailor made for me!

Where do I start...

Ok

I rip toilet seats off all the toilets at nightclubs. One time I even went into the female toilets and did it. Watching the girls walk out all pissed off was priceless.

When I was younger I would go around the streets at night taking down street signs and removing other government property. At one stage I had a nice collection of crap in my backyard.

There was a family that my friend hated that lived across the road from him. They had a brick fence at the front of their yard about 3 feet high, so one night we knocked it over.

I wasn't into drugs when I was younger but I had mates who smoked bongs all the time. One night a mate asked me to pack him a bong while he went to the dunny, so I plucked out a fair few of my pubes and packed them in below a fine layer of weed then watched him smoke them and almost choke to death. It smelt terrible.

I hate Cats and other ugly animals, if I see one on the road and no one else is around I swerve towards them and watch them s**t themselves. When I used to work on the docks there were rabbits that would always run accross coode rd, probably cleaned up about a dozen of them though I reckon only half were intentional.

I have a mate who can't drink Vodka without getting sick. One night we were out on the piss and he was just necking every drink he had without even tasting it. Anyway it was my shout and he had been drinking bourbon and cokes all night, so I got him a vodka and coke and gave it to him. Sure enough he smashed it in about 0.6 seconds and straight away realized what happened and called me a **** before approximately 3 seconds later chucking all over the bar lol. He got kicked out, but it was worth it.

Quite often I ask people questions I know will piss them off just to get a reaction or enter into an argument just for the sake of it, espcially when I am bored at work. There was this one fat girl I used to work with who spent ridiculous amounts of money on a naturopath but somehow continued to grow. One day she brought in this massive thing of fries from lordd of the fries and went to town on it. So I approached her and asked her what her what the naturopath would think if they saw her eating that, she went nuts.

I fart on peak hour trains then pretend like nothing happened. This works especially well because my farts are more often then not silent. Its funny looking at people's reaction, they can obviously smell a disturbance but don't want to accuse anyone or do or say anything about it.

If a girl who is clearly beneath my standards cracks on to me, I play games with them or just act like a complete prick. There was one who I went to school with years ago who was at this place I was at. Now this girl is a little bit crazy, not very pretty, someone who I never liked and just unappealing in every way. So I was insulted she thought she had a chance. She told my friend that she wanted to kiss me. I was very blunt in response by responding there was only one thing I would allow her to kiss.

I don't need anyone to tell me I'm a **** or anything because I am already well aware of this fact.

*backs away slowly*

 

[Hard Ball Get]

Finally a thread tailor made for me!

Where do I start...

Ok

I rip toilet seats off all the toilets at nightclubs. One time I even went into the female toilets and did it. Watching the girls walk out all pissed off was priceless.

When I was younger I would go around the streets at night taking down street signs and removing other government property. At one stage I had a nice collection of crap in my backyard.

There was a family that my friend hated that lived across the road from him. They had a brick fence at the front of their yard about 3 feet high, so one night we knocked it over.

I wasn't into drugs when I was younger but I had mates who smoked bongs all the time. One night a mate asked me to pack him a bong while he went to the dunny, so I plucked out a fair few of my pubes and packed them in below a fine layer of weed then watched him smoke them and almost choke to death. It smelt terrible.

I hate Cats and other ugly animals, if I see one on the road and no one else is around I swerve towards them and watch them s**t themselves. When I used to work on the docks there were rabbits that would always run accross coode rd, probably cleaned up about a dozen of them though I reckon only half were intentional.

I have a mate who can't drink Vodka without getting sick. One night we were out on the piss and he was just necking every drink he had without even tasting it. Anyway it was my shout and he had been drinking bourbon and cokes all night, so I got him a vodka and coke and gave it to him. Sure enough he smashed it in about 0.6 seconds and straight away realized what happened and called me a **** before approximately 3 seconds later chucking all over the bar lol. He got kicked out, but it was worth it.

Quite often I ask people questions I know will piss them off just to get a reaction or enter into an argument just for the sake of it, espcially when I am bored at work. There was this one fat girl I used to work with who spent ridiculous amounts of money on a naturopath but somehow continued to grow. One day she brought in this massive thing of fries from lordd of the fries and went to town on it. So I approached her and asked her what her what the naturopath would think if they saw her eating that, she went nuts.

I fart on peak hour trains then pretend like nothing happened. This works especially well because my farts are more often then not silent. Its funny looking at people's reaction, they can obviously smell a disturbance but don't want to accuse anyone or do or say anything about it.

If a girl who is clearly beneath my standards cracks on to me, I play games with them or just act like a complete prick. There was one who I went to school with years ago who was at this place I was at. Now this girl is a little bit crazy, not very pretty, someone who I never liked and just unappealing in every way. So I was insulted she thought she had a chance. She told my friend that she wanted to kiss me. I was very blunt in response by responding there was only one thing I would allow her to kiss.

I don't need anyone to tell me I'm a **** or anything because I am already well aware of this fact.

Wow, that is taking being a prick to a new level!

 

[Mancey]

We have a ute here at work that we use as a general runabout for the minesite.

Some bloke with no authority whatsoever seems to think its his truck, it's not. Anyways he cracks shits if there's a speck of mud on the floor mats or a mars bar wrapper left on the seats.

So yeah, every time i walk past the ute i toss in a empty coke can or pie wrapper Drives him mad.

 

[And_ROOS]

Noob tube on MW2.

If I have someone on my tail on the road, I leave my indicator on and slow down for every turn off or driveway.

COD4: Killhouse = 2 weapons w/ nade launchers + 3 times frag = fun times

We used to do a variation of that where a mate of mine had a really loud air horn in his car. A favourite pasttime of ours late at night was driving up behind hitchhikers and other drunk stragglers heading home from the pub, sounding the air horn and watching them s**t themselves.

Used to be funny watching them give us the finger and mouthing obscenities as we drove away too.

We used to do similar, had some speakers and a controller that would very loudly play noises or had a microphone you would use. Would be at the lights and see someone on their phone, you would get on the mic and take the piss. The dog act comes from out driving there was a group of girls out for an 18th, all were quite large so as we passed them we spammed the cow and pig sound effects

As for my dog act, if ive eaten cheap pizza i let go very toxic smells, i remember many a night downing a dodgy prawn pizza before hitting the pubs, dropping a revolting SBD then walking away casually and watching the reaction from distance.

Especially satisfying if the SBD is dropped behind each groups token "hot" chick.

 

[Copulator]

Another one I did... this is probably the best one.

One Saturday night we went to a mates for a piss up. He lived at home but his parents were out for the night so we had the place to ourselves, there was probably a good 15 of us. Anyway the mate is kind of annoying when he is drunk, and drunk he was. So I went into his parents room and went into their laundry basket and found a pair of his mum's worn panties and pocketed them. So I go back out into the living room and tell him to come out the back because theres something I wanted to tell him. So we go out the back and I start telling him some bs about how I hooked up with a hot girl we used to go to school with and after I was finished with her I stole her panties. He didn't believe me, so I pulled out his mum's which were in my pocket, waved them infront of his face and told him to take a sniff if he didn't believe me..... which he proceeded to do. He gave me a high 5 and called me a champ and asked me if he could keep them, which I allowed. So he is running around smelling them telling our mates what had happened and to take a sniff etc. Now at this point I had to leave the room because I was about to explode from laughter, no one but me knew what truly was going on. So I went back outside on my own to cool off when another mate came out to see if I was okay, so I let him in on the secret and he thought it was gold and told me to not say anything untill later and he would tell everyone else what was going on but not let the mate know it was his mum's panties he was runing around with.

Long story short, one by one each of the other mates found out about what was going on. Now I should mention this guy's mum is not bad for an older bird, she looks after herself anyway. How is that relevant? I don't really know other then all his mates know what she smells like downtown. So yeah after a couple of hours of torment letting him believe he was holding some hot bird's undies, one of the guys goes in the most serious of tones "I can't take it any more, dude you sniffed your old girl's jocks" and we all burst out in laughter. The guy was shattered.

 

[lovely]

Finally a thread tailor made for me!

I hate Cats and other ugly animals, if I see one on the road and no one else is around I swerve towards them and watch them s**t themselves. When I used to work on the docks there were rabbits that would always run accross coode rd, probably cleaned up about a dozen of them though I reckon only half were intentional.

Evil, evil evil evil!!!!

 

[Copulator]

Evil, evil evil evil!!!!

It is either them or me

 

[Kerrby]

It is either them or me

That makes no sense.

 

[Copulator]

That makes no sense.

For making such an obscure observation, I have concluded that you are a genius

 

[Power King]

Another one I did... this is probably the best one.

One Saturday night we went to a mates for a piss up. He lived at home but his parents were out for the night so we had the place to ourselves, there was probably a good 15 of us. Anyway the mate is kind of annoying when he is drunk, and drunk he was. So I went into his parents room and went into their laundry basket and found a pair of his mum's worn panties and pocketed them. So I go back out into the living room and tell him to come out the back because theres something I wanted to tell him. So we go out the back and I start telling him some bs about how I hooked up with a hot girl we used to go to school with and after I was finished with her I stole her panties. He didn't believe me, so I pulled out his mum's which were in my pocket, waved them infront of his face and told him to take a sniff if he didn't believe me..... which he proceeded to do. He gave me a high 5 and called me a champ and asked me if he could keep them, which I allowed. So he is running around smelling them telling our mates what had happened and to take a sniff etc. Now at this point I had to leave the room because I was about to explode from laughter, no one but me knew what truly was going on. So I went back outside on my own to cool off when another mate came out to see if I was okay, so I let him in on the secret and he thought it was gold and told me to not say anything untill later and he would tell everyone else what was going on but not let the mate know it was his mum's panties he was runing around with.

Long story short, one by one each of the other mates found out about what was going on. Now I should mention this guy's mum is not bad for an older bird, she looks after herself anyway. How is that relevant? I don't really know other then all his mates know what she smells like downtown. So yeah after a couple of hours of torment letting him believe he was holding some hot bird's undies, one of the guys goes in the most serious of tones "I can't take it any more, dude you sniffed your old girl's jocks" and we all burst out in laughter. The guy was shattered.

 

[Military_man]

prank Joffa's phone

 

[HollyLovesWCE]

Not sure if this one has been said but..

When you're in a car with a bunch of people and a great sing along song comes on so you turn it up really loud and everyone starts belting it out, then you wait til about half way through the song and stealthily lean over and turn the stereo off.
They all keep singing for a second or 2, as out of tune as hell. Funny stuff, that is Everyone gets so embarrassed!

 

[Harvey Leadpipe]

Another one I did... this is probably the best one.

One Saturday night we went to a mates for a piss up. He lived at home but his parents were out for the night so we had the place to ourselves, there was probably a good 15 of us. Anyway the mate is kind of annoying when he is drunk, and drunk he was. So I went into his parents room and went into their laundry basket and found a pair of his mum's worn panties and pocketed them. So I go back out into the living room and tell him to come out the back because theres something I wanted to tell him. So we go out the back and I start telling him some bs about how I hooked up with a hot girl we used to go to school with and after I was finished with her I stole her panties. He didn't believe me, so I pulled out his mum's which were in my pocket, waved them infront of his face and told him to take a sniff if he didn't believe me..... which he proceeded to do. He gave me a high 5 and called me a champ and asked me if he could keep them, which I allowed. So he is running around smelling them telling our mates what had happened and to take a sniff etc. Now at this point I had to leave the room because I was about to explode from laughter, no one but me knew what truly was going on. So I went back outside on my own to cool off when another mate came out to see if I was okay, so I let him in on the secret and he thought it was gold and told me to not say anything untill later and he would tell everyone else what was going on but not let the mate know it was his mum's panties he was runing around with.

Long story short, one by one each of the other mates found out about what was going on. Now I should mention this guy's mum is not bad for an older bird, she looks after herself anyway. How is that relevant? I don't really know other then all his mates know what she smells like downtown. So yeah after a couple of hours of torment letting him believe he was holding some hot bird's undies, one of the guys goes in the most serious of tones "I can't take it any more, dude you sniffed your old girl's jocks" and we all burst out in laughter. The guy was shattered.

This is awesome. "Ya mum's jocks" etc jokes just taken to a new level.