Three footy fans

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Three footy fans were on their way to a game when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road.
They stopped and discovered an unconscious nude female lying there.

Out of respect and propriety, the Dockers fan took off his beanie and placed it over her right breast.
The Bombers fan took off his beanie and placed it over her left breast.
Following their lead, the Eagles fan took off his beanie and placed it over her crotch.

The police were called and when the officer arrived, he conducted his inspection.

First, he lifted up the Dockers beanie, replaced it, and wrote down some notes.

Next, he lifted the Bombers beanie, replaced it, and wrote down some more notes.

The officer then lifted the Eagles beanie, replaced it, then lifted it
again, replaced it, lifted it a third time, and replaced it one last
time.

The Eagles fan was getting upset and finally asked,
"What are you, a pervert or something? Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting and looking?"

"Well," said the officer. "I am simply surprised.
Normally when I look under an Eagles beanie, I find an @rsshole."