Media TiF News Exclusive: Bad News Bombers

TheInjuryFactory

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Aug 25, 2011
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TiF News Exclusive: Bad News Bombers

By Jon Qalph



The beginning of the Sweet FA season has been embroiled in controversy, with several high profile cases already making their way to the committee even though we are less than a fortnight into Season 29.

Sweet FA house has been abuzz, with the Sweet FA hearings dominating the media landscape of Sweet, and arguably there has been no bigger story than the furore involving a rookie signing that has gone all the way up to the highest levels of the Sweet FA where debate has been raging.



Media pack outside Sweet FA house on Thursday.

On Thursday, after several days of debate, the attempted signing of player TalkingFootyNow1223 by the Baghdad Bombers was successfully vetoed by the Coney Island Warriors in the committee room and was overturned by an overwhelming majority of clubs in a committee vote, seeing order restored.

There are at least 7 No votes for player TalkingFootyNow1223 qualifying for free agency, and I am satisfied that the majority view of the clubs is that he resigned from the Gumbies.

The delisting of the player is quashed, and he may be reinstated on the Gumbies' list, if captain Barrybran wishes to do so.

There was a subsequent appeal lodged by the player in question, which was accepted by the admin, but this was swiftly rejected by the committee on the grounds there is no actual right to appeal such a decision to the very people who have made the decision being appealed.

Now we here at TiFmedia were quietly minding our own business this weekend, closely monitoring the storm of controversy that’s engulfed the Sweet FA in Round 1, when we received this in our inbox.


Hey TIF,

Dont know if you know who I am, I’m TFN a new rookie around here. Don’t know if you have noticed but there has been a little buzz around me. I have some huge media news that I thought you would benefit from, I’m looking for a genuine media host to broadcast my statement. Would you be interested in running it?

Kind regards

TFN

So of course, as the premier media purveyor of the Sweet FA, we were intrigued.

Qalphy: Hi TFN, yes of course we would be interested, please go on…


I’ve become the eye of this shit storm we are all involved in.

Quick run down, I need you (the best in SFA media) to run a media statement for me regarding all this and my final decision. It’s an atomic bomb of a media piece you can run with.

So quicker than you can change your name from Cloud_ to Bless to Kennedy Parker, we accepted.


Qalphy: Welcome to TiF news TalkingFootyNow1223 , you’ve had a big week. Talk us through it?

TFN: I would like to start by saying that my sole intention in joining the SFA was to live my fantasy of being a qootballer in the Sweet FA.

As I am a rookie, my superiors are my only guidance. I didn’t know about the SFA before a random PM from Dingster, I joined with no knowledge and jumped right in.

I felt like I was done wrong by at the start and did add fuel to the fire. I now know that was immature of me and again, a typical rookie error.

I want to apologise to everyone for my actions of late, I’m sorry I handled my situation incorrectly, it was a rookie error.

I just want to go on record, I’m here speaking on behalf of myself for the first time during the latest saga.



Qalphy: Some people will find this to be quite the dramatic backflip...

TFN:
It only seems like so much of a backflip because of what WW19 was getting me to do and say to fuel things up. He told me if I do it they will fold and let me play. Each PM said that they are on the back foot, we are winning this, you will play etc.

Flat out I want to tell Wayno that his leadership while handling this was cooked as fu**, I'm not a Bombers' pawn used to make Bombers points.

I won't be requesting a trade out of the Gumbies come the end of S29. If Baz and the team are happy to have me, I will stay and eventually take over as captain.

I don't care what I come out looking like, it's my opinion and my version of the events. I've had people telling me what to say and do since this all started, it's about time I speak for myself.



Qalphy: That’s understandable TFN, you have all the eyes of the league upon you as we speak, now might be a good time to set the record straight.

TFN:
I’d like to read from a prepared statement if I could?


Qalphy: Go ahead TFN, the floor is yours. We’ll take questions after TFN has read from his statement thanks folks.







OFFICIAL MEDIA STATEMENT

TFN NUMBERS SPEAKS
Firstly, I want to apologise to every single player down at the Gumbies for my latest actions.

I don’t deserve forgiveness, but I do ask for it. Barrybran , I am sorry for accusing you of misguiding me, I now know your actions and support were nothing but pure of heart and I thank you for that.

I would like to ask the Gumbies players, the Gumbies vice captain haydo, and the Gumbies’ coach and captain Barry, if I may have the honour of re-joining and honouring my original contract for the remainder of this season and, hopefully, many more to come.

My passion was always to build the Gumbies up to become an empire. This passion is still burning deep inside, I will stick by through thick and thin, I will give 110% with the hope to one day lead the Gumbies as Captain.

You all may be wondering why the huge backflip. Plain and simply, I’ve been talking behind closed doors with some of the SFA’s most influential and wise members the past 2 days. We have been discussing the avenues that are left and what the right thing is to do.

To the Committee members, thank you for upholding the rules and regulations of this league, you made the right decision and I do not hold anything against you. Without rules we wouldn't have the foundation to what this great community is built on.

Lastly to WaynesWorld19 and the rest of you Bomber fu**s… next time you want to make a point to the SFA and and use a 1 game rookie to incite anarchy, don’t be so blatantly ******* obvious. I’ve sat back the past 2 days just to laugh at the continued attempt to shame the Committee, and convince the league into thinking this was all just a biased decision against the Bombers.

Finally, thank you TiF for helping me to get this out.


TFN
Gumbies FFC
S29



And there you have it, another dramatic turn in the TFN saga. What begun as a poorly executed poaching attempt, followed by an even more poorly executed admin response, corrected by a responsible, considered committee brought about by a courageous veto that has maintained the integrity of the competition has ended with a dramatic backflip, with TFN numbers turning his back on the Bombers and returning to the Gumbies.

So as suspected, we have the disgraceful case of a rookie puppet of the Baghdad agenda being encouraged by a rogue, inept captain to appeal the unappealable decision, after deliberately tanking the original appeal, which was then actually accepted by the sympathetic admin and taken back to committee, who again had to stand firm to ensure proper process was followed. Poor misguided TFN then threatening a second walk out, only to come to his senses and turn his back on a poorly led, dysfunctional club who puts their own notoriety ahead of the well-being of their own players, the competition and, ultimately, their club.

We here at TiFmedia hope cooler heads prevail from here.
 
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TheInjuryFactory

Make SFA Great Again
Aug 25, 2011
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Jon, have you heard any ruours from Baghdad regarding the future of the Bombers' leadership?
Qalphy: Indeed. We here at TiFmedia understand the Bombers are in crisis talks as we speak, and will be formulating an official no u response to these damning allegations in due course.
 

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Metalcrusher

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Qalphy: Indeed. We here at TiFmedia understand the Bombers are in crisis talks as we speak, and will be formulating an official no u response to these damning allegations in due course.
Crisis!! … FFS Im still in Tigerturbulance hot tub full of jelly shots! BTW who won today?
 

Tony Lynn 15

Brownlow Medallist
Mar 21, 2008
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Firstly, this is shithouse banter.

Secondly, did you want to take me through how this wasn't a shithouse series of actions by the Bombers? Or do you only deal in personal attacks?
This is what I love about the SFA. A few days ago this rookie was a dick because he decided to choose the Bombers. Now he is taking potshots at the Bombers in a thread he is just a misunderstood rookie down on his luck.

Don't ever change SFA.
 

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