
- Aug 24, 2000
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TigerTank’s definitive 2001 Bigfooty Pre-season preview
Adelaide Crows: The timely suspension of erratic forward crowz4eva leaves a huge hole in the Adelaide armoury that will be hard to fill. QT is an honest toiler, and Drakey always gives 100% but Chev77 lacks focus and Spogs needs to step up. A lack of quality players will ensure that Adelaide will endure a tough year at the bottom of the Bigfooty table.
Brisbane Lions: Plenty of ball getters but disposal can be haphazard. Former Brownlow medalist Mr Ripper is the class act among them and remains the key to their chances along with veteran Roylion. Dodongo remains an enigma, while Beausgirl43 gets plenty of the pill but doesn’t seem to know what to do with it. A batch of promising newcomers and a reliable old-guard mean that they should finish towards the top of the table though.
Carlton Blues: Once again, too much will fall to too few. Full forward Bee remains the eye-catching star, and bags of goals scored at the expense of Magpie_Joffa and Dan24 served to underline her class. The Blues get most of their drive from their engine room, however, in the form of nuggetty rover ODN and his importance to this line-up should never be underestimated. Blues^rock and chattys_slut will have to step up quickly for them to figure in the final analysis. The odds are against them.
Collingwood Magpies: Make up for a lack of class with a never-say-die attitude and heaps of endurance. Predictable because captain AlfAndrews channels all play up the left-wing, while magpie_joffa is a tough defender who tries hard but loses his cool too easily to be a serious threat. Mags has improved but is still a bit all over the place, and Spidergirl and Roccababe must have questionable loyalties now, and form has dropped off. Overall they remain far too AlfAndrews-conscious and will struggle against the better sides.
Essendon Bombers: Had things their own way last year, but age and injury are taking their toll. “Smokin’ Joe” Dan24 gets plenty of possessions but his disposal is woeful under pressure, and he tends to kick backwards a lot against stronger opponents. Sandie is still a reliable defender but Father (or is that Mother) Time is creeping up, and Same Olds seems to only get a kick when Dan24 handballs it to him. The Dutchman! is the focal point in attack but Eastaugh was lucky not to get delisted because his decision making is awful, as is his accuracy. Might be one to drop down in 2001.
Fremantle Dockers: Young guns amazonstud and dockerbabe have become solid contributors, but once again the bulk of the grunt work will have to be carried by sabre_ac. Too little experience to make a major impact.
Geelong Cats: Now in a rebuilding phase after finally ditching geelong4eva (affectionately known around the traps as “Menschy”). “Buddha” Jub Jub is a terrier, who goes in hard and cops the bruises, but Go_the_young_Guys must have a bit more of a dip and Agent 86 needs to continue his promising development. Jub Jub thinks he’ll have the last laugh … we beg to differ. Will not make the eight.
Hawthorn Hawks: Pessimistic, and for good reason. Blond skipper Grendel and the aforementioned mean they are always competitive, but the Hawks lack real hard-hitting nasty boys with experience. Dipper is one of the best of the imports, while BUBBALOUIS and Hawkforce look to have the potential to challenge the “bad boys” but the jury is still out on them, just as it is for this whole, frustrating combination.
Kangaroos: Known fearfully by some as “The Clique”, this evergreen outfit still packs a punch and will figure in the finals again. Shinboners is the aging star at centre-half-forward, but was still good enough to rip Dan24 to pieces in their last encounter, while Rooboy96 mightn’t be as quick as he once was at full-back but is still dangerous. Carey_is_King ably holds down the right wing, while Darky scores plenty from a pocket. If he can stay out of the tribunal for 5 minutes Kimhodgemansmo also hits hard, while Gonzo, Aussie_roo and DEVO make up a nasty backline. Early premiership favourites.
Melbourne Demons: Plenty of young stars in the form of Dees Rule!, Dees01 and demonland but too little experience and “mongrel” to be a threat. Big Poppa Pump needs to mould this group into a tougher outfit or the likes of the Kangaroos will walk all over them.
Port Adelaide Power: The dark horse of the field, with the erratic, irrational PA1870 and attacking, and only slightly less irrational defender carb70 balanced by the cucumber-cool Asguardian at centre-half-back and honest workhorse Scott in the middle. ptw has struggled since crossing from the Crows, but Grave Danger has added the required mongrel, so they have a strong base to build an effective team around. Need more regular contributors to seriously threaten though. Next year maybe!
Richmond Tigers: Big things are expected from this mob in 2001. Pretty boy/girl full forward Richmondfan#1 is an excitement machine in front of goal and could be anything, while CJH’s hard work and accurate delivery out of the middle sets up numerous opportunities. Down back, dour and ultra-conservative full back TigerTank wins few friends with his ruthless, cutting style but is rarely beaten, while tiger_of_old and oh my hat flesh out a tough defence. Newcomers sister patience and Joel 11 also have big raps. Top 4 position beckons, if they perform to expectations.
Saint Kilda: Honest, loyal and reliable, the Saints will be thereabouts again in 2001. Sainter, Strength through loyalty and Fred are familiar faces in the middle but consistently deliver the goods, while Savatage could be anything in the ruck if he pulled his head in and got rid of those silly dreadlocks. Won’t bother the big guns but should sneak in.
Sydney Swans: When captain Bloodstained Angel went down with a knee injury, it underlined what a one-man band this mob are. BSA’s subsequent return saw the Swans recover, but the old tosser can’t be relied on for ever. Memo to swanzforever and Sydneyfan – time to carry some of the load.
Western Bulldogs: Westy Boy remains the stand out performer at centre-half-back or centre-half-forward or wherever, but the Dogs have plenty of good options. Hahn Premium’s number change hasn’t resulted in an improvement in form for the little terrier, especially when it meant he had to start his score again from scratch (sorry!). localyokel is on the verge, as is woofer, while “Jose”teddy3 could also go the next level. Watch this space.
West Coast Eagles: Perennial over-achievers the Eagles appear to be a team on the slide. Frodo continues to try hard on his right wing but looks like being overwhelmed, while Eagleskickass is horribly out of form. WA has been serviceable at full forward, skipper GoEagles always racks up the possessions and veteran centre-half-back Jod23 and his trusty lieutenant MDB lead an honest defence, but as N’Sync would say “Bye Bye Bye”. Bottom 4 certainties.
Umpires: Bluey’s impartiality may have been called into question on occasion but he and fellow “white rabbit” Mobbenfuhrer will again be blowing whistles and confusing everyone in 2001.
BRING IT ON!!!
PS Apologies to any regulars I missed out mentioning…
------------------
TT - Obligatory bad-tempered Richmond supporter
[This message has been edited by TigerTank (edited 29 January 2001).]
Adelaide Crows: The timely suspension of erratic forward crowz4eva leaves a huge hole in the Adelaide armoury that will be hard to fill. QT is an honest toiler, and Drakey always gives 100% but Chev77 lacks focus and Spogs needs to step up. A lack of quality players will ensure that Adelaide will endure a tough year at the bottom of the Bigfooty table.
Brisbane Lions: Plenty of ball getters but disposal can be haphazard. Former Brownlow medalist Mr Ripper is the class act among them and remains the key to their chances along with veteran Roylion. Dodongo remains an enigma, while Beausgirl43 gets plenty of the pill but doesn’t seem to know what to do with it. A batch of promising newcomers and a reliable old-guard mean that they should finish towards the top of the table though.
Carlton Blues: Once again, too much will fall to too few. Full forward Bee remains the eye-catching star, and bags of goals scored at the expense of Magpie_Joffa and Dan24 served to underline her class. The Blues get most of their drive from their engine room, however, in the form of nuggetty rover ODN and his importance to this line-up should never be underestimated. Blues^rock and chattys_slut will have to step up quickly for them to figure in the final analysis. The odds are against them.
Collingwood Magpies: Make up for a lack of class with a never-say-die attitude and heaps of endurance. Predictable because captain AlfAndrews channels all play up the left-wing, while magpie_joffa is a tough defender who tries hard but loses his cool too easily to be a serious threat. Mags has improved but is still a bit all over the place, and Spidergirl and Roccababe must have questionable loyalties now, and form has dropped off. Overall they remain far too AlfAndrews-conscious and will struggle against the better sides.
Essendon Bombers: Had things their own way last year, but age and injury are taking their toll. “Smokin’ Joe” Dan24 gets plenty of possessions but his disposal is woeful under pressure, and he tends to kick backwards a lot against stronger opponents. Sandie is still a reliable defender but Father (or is that Mother) Time is creeping up, and Same Olds seems to only get a kick when Dan24 handballs it to him. The Dutchman! is the focal point in attack but Eastaugh was lucky not to get delisted because his decision making is awful, as is his accuracy. Might be one to drop down in 2001.
Fremantle Dockers: Young guns amazonstud and dockerbabe have become solid contributors, but once again the bulk of the grunt work will have to be carried by sabre_ac. Too little experience to make a major impact.
Geelong Cats: Now in a rebuilding phase after finally ditching geelong4eva (affectionately known around the traps as “Menschy”). “Buddha” Jub Jub is a terrier, who goes in hard and cops the bruises, but Go_the_young_Guys must have a bit more of a dip and Agent 86 needs to continue his promising development. Jub Jub thinks he’ll have the last laugh … we beg to differ. Will not make the eight.
Hawthorn Hawks: Pessimistic, and for good reason. Blond skipper Grendel and the aforementioned mean they are always competitive, but the Hawks lack real hard-hitting nasty boys with experience. Dipper is one of the best of the imports, while BUBBALOUIS and Hawkforce look to have the potential to challenge the “bad boys” but the jury is still out on them, just as it is for this whole, frustrating combination.
Kangaroos: Known fearfully by some as “The Clique”, this evergreen outfit still packs a punch and will figure in the finals again. Shinboners is the aging star at centre-half-forward, but was still good enough to rip Dan24 to pieces in their last encounter, while Rooboy96 mightn’t be as quick as he once was at full-back but is still dangerous. Carey_is_King ably holds down the right wing, while Darky scores plenty from a pocket. If he can stay out of the tribunal for 5 minutes Kimhodgemansmo also hits hard, while Gonzo, Aussie_roo and DEVO make up a nasty backline. Early premiership favourites.
Melbourne Demons: Plenty of young stars in the form of Dees Rule!, Dees01 and demonland but too little experience and “mongrel” to be a threat. Big Poppa Pump needs to mould this group into a tougher outfit or the likes of the Kangaroos will walk all over them.
Port Adelaide Power: The dark horse of the field, with the erratic, irrational PA1870 and attacking, and only slightly less irrational defender carb70 balanced by the cucumber-cool Asguardian at centre-half-back and honest workhorse Scott in the middle. ptw has struggled since crossing from the Crows, but Grave Danger has added the required mongrel, so they have a strong base to build an effective team around. Need more regular contributors to seriously threaten though. Next year maybe!
Richmond Tigers: Big things are expected from this mob in 2001. Pretty boy/girl full forward Richmondfan#1 is an excitement machine in front of goal and could be anything, while CJH’s hard work and accurate delivery out of the middle sets up numerous opportunities. Down back, dour and ultra-conservative full back TigerTank wins few friends with his ruthless, cutting style but is rarely beaten, while tiger_of_old and oh my hat flesh out a tough defence. Newcomers sister patience and Joel 11 also have big raps. Top 4 position beckons, if they perform to expectations.
Saint Kilda: Honest, loyal and reliable, the Saints will be thereabouts again in 2001. Sainter, Strength through loyalty and Fred are familiar faces in the middle but consistently deliver the goods, while Savatage could be anything in the ruck if he pulled his head in and got rid of those silly dreadlocks. Won’t bother the big guns but should sneak in.
Sydney Swans: When captain Bloodstained Angel went down with a knee injury, it underlined what a one-man band this mob are. BSA’s subsequent return saw the Swans recover, but the old tosser can’t be relied on for ever. Memo to swanzforever and Sydneyfan – time to carry some of the load.
Western Bulldogs: Westy Boy remains the stand out performer at centre-half-back or centre-half-forward or wherever, but the Dogs have plenty of good options. Hahn Premium’s number change hasn’t resulted in an improvement in form for the little terrier, especially when it meant he had to start his score again from scratch (sorry!). localyokel is on the verge, as is woofer, while “Jose”teddy3 could also go the next level. Watch this space.
West Coast Eagles: Perennial over-achievers the Eagles appear to be a team on the slide. Frodo continues to try hard on his right wing but looks like being overwhelmed, while Eagleskickass is horribly out of form. WA has been serviceable at full forward, skipper GoEagles always racks up the possessions and veteran centre-half-back Jod23 and his trusty lieutenant MDB lead an honest defence, but as N’Sync would say “Bye Bye Bye”. Bottom 4 certainties.
Umpires: Bluey’s impartiality may have been called into question on occasion but he and fellow “white rabbit” Mobbenfuhrer will again be blowing whistles and confusing everyone in 2001.
BRING IT ON!!!
PS Apologies to any regulars I missed out mentioning…
------------------
TT - Obligatory bad-tempered Richmond supporter
[This message has been edited by TigerTank (edited 29 January 2001).]