- Aug 24, 2000
- 3,218
- 2,881
- AFL Club
- Richmond
- Other Teams
- KC Chiefs, Royal Park FNC, Man City
TT’s Glossary of Football Terms:
Adelaide: Incomplete city located somewhere west of the Victorian border. Two factories for manufacturing wooden spoons have recently been erected in Adelaide, in the vicinity of Football Park and Alberton Oval.
Bell Tower: Western Australian irony targeting new Freo Docker Peter Bell’s short stature.
Blues: What invariably happens when 50 Italian Carlton supporters deliberately sit themselves among 5,000 WASP and Greek Richmond supporters at the football.
Campbells: A brand of tomato soup that can’t kick an accurate short pass.
Cat-scan: A medical diagnostic method usually required when Gary Hocking decides he doesn’t like you.
Crow-Magnon Man: The highest evolutionary level reached by Adelaide football fans.
Daffy Duck: What forwards are forced to do after the ball is bombed into them with absolutely no thought at all given to where the ball will actually end up.
Demon-acracy: A political system whereby citizens (members) vote for their own extinction.
Gabba: An AFL football ground where fans politely clap when a goal is scored, but cheer like crazy when someone accidentally falls over the boundary line with the ball in hand.
Hird Mentality: The practice of barracking for Essendon just because every other teeny-bopper does.
Kelly Pool: A version of billiards played while recovering from knee-surgery.
Long Face: The wearing of a dark scary Voodoo mask to frighten little children.
Luffy: A type of flatulence that floats around a lot, doesn’t do much, but never seems to go away.
Mag Pie: (short for Magic Pie) A delicious and hearty goal feast provided twice a year by the Collingwood Football Club to players of opposition clubs.
MardiGras: Collective noun for a group of Swans supporters.
Mongrel Punt: Making love to a Western Bulldogs supporter.
N'Sync Concert: Where the majority of Essendon supporters would rather be than at the football.
Pagan’s Paddock: Wayne Carey’s bald patch. Seems to get bigger every year.
Picket Line: The collective noun for a group of Port Adelaide supporters.
Port: An alcoholic beverage made at Alberton that causes extreme brain-damage.
Purple: Colour at the upper-end of the visible light spectrum that only a madman or a moron would consider using on a football jumper.
Rats Tossbag: An item that Malcolm Blight suggests has limited value.
Saint: Something someone would have to be to follow that pack of losers from Moorabbin.
Scratchy: An instant lottery ticket whereby Bulldogs players scratch off the skin of Brisbane players and win a four-week holiday from the football.
Spider: An aggressive but stupid arachnid that throws empty beer cans at unwary passers-by.
That Seventies Show: Humorous American sit-com that inspired the Hawthorn Football Club’s 2001 supporter merchandise.
Tiger Snake: Aggressive creature frequently seen in Mens toilets in the Great Southern Stand of the MCG.
Wedge-tailed Eagle: What happens when lard-arsed West Coast full forward Scott Cummings sits in a car with bucket-seats.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzz: The annual Port Adelaide v Fremantle excitement fest.
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TT - Obligatory bad-tempered Richmond supporter
Adelaide: Incomplete city located somewhere west of the Victorian border. Two factories for manufacturing wooden spoons have recently been erected in Adelaide, in the vicinity of Football Park and Alberton Oval.
Bell Tower: Western Australian irony targeting new Freo Docker Peter Bell’s short stature.
Blues: What invariably happens when 50 Italian Carlton supporters deliberately sit themselves among 5,000 WASP and Greek Richmond supporters at the football.
Campbells: A brand of tomato soup that can’t kick an accurate short pass.
Cat-scan: A medical diagnostic method usually required when Gary Hocking decides he doesn’t like you.
Crow-Magnon Man: The highest evolutionary level reached by Adelaide football fans.
Daffy Duck: What forwards are forced to do after the ball is bombed into them with absolutely no thought at all given to where the ball will actually end up.
Demon-acracy: A political system whereby citizens (members) vote for their own extinction.
Gabba: An AFL football ground where fans politely clap when a goal is scored, but cheer like crazy when someone accidentally falls over the boundary line with the ball in hand.
Hird Mentality: The practice of barracking for Essendon just because every other teeny-bopper does.
Kelly Pool: A version of billiards played while recovering from knee-surgery.
Long Face: The wearing of a dark scary Voodoo mask to frighten little children.
Luffy: A type of flatulence that floats around a lot, doesn’t do much, but never seems to go away.
Mag Pie: (short for Magic Pie) A delicious and hearty goal feast provided twice a year by the Collingwood Football Club to players of opposition clubs.
MardiGras: Collective noun for a group of Swans supporters.
Mongrel Punt: Making love to a Western Bulldogs supporter.
N'Sync Concert: Where the majority of Essendon supporters would rather be than at the football.
Pagan’s Paddock: Wayne Carey’s bald patch. Seems to get bigger every year.
Picket Line: The collective noun for a group of Port Adelaide supporters.
Port: An alcoholic beverage made at Alberton that causes extreme brain-damage.
Purple: Colour at the upper-end of the visible light spectrum that only a madman or a moron would consider using on a football jumper.
Rats Tossbag: An item that Malcolm Blight suggests has limited value.
Saint: Something someone would have to be to follow that pack of losers from Moorabbin.
Scratchy: An instant lottery ticket whereby Bulldogs players scratch off the skin of Brisbane players and win a four-week holiday from the football.
Spider: An aggressive but stupid arachnid that throws empty beer cans at unwary passers-by.
That Seventies Show: Humorous American sit-com that inspired the Hawthorn Football Club’s 2001 supporter merchandise.
Tiger Snake: Aggressive creature frequently seen in Mens toilets in the Great Southern Stand of the MCG.
Wedge-tailed Eagle: What happens when lard-arsed West Coast full forward Scott Cummings sits in a car with bucket-seats.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzz: The annual Port Adelaide v Fremantle excitement fest.
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TT - Obligatory bad-tempered Richmond supporter
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