Computers & Internet Tinder

[katana]

had some good conversations

you mean irl voice memos?

 

[checkraiseulite]

can you start dropping some voice memos with updates?

i think it would add to the thread a lot.

 

[spinynorman]

Had two stayers from my initial post-lockdown run of dates a fortnight ago.

Last night was confusing. Throughout they were very keen, throwing out ideas for the next date, even suggesting Friday night. They mentioned having deleted the app we matched on. We go back to mine, do the thing. Fifteen minutes after leaving they text (nicely) saying they don't think a relationship can be balanced with the rest of their life right now. Mixed messages! Was I a dud root? Disappointing.

Tonight is the other one. Also very keen, pushing for both second and third dates. We've had good times and I'm pretty down. But there still hasn't been even a kiss. I don't think I'm someone who needs things to be fast etc, but think if there's been no kiss after three dates I'm beginning to wonder where this is going. Anyway, maybe tonight's the night, or maybe I need to get back to searching.

 

[chunkylover53]

Seen old mate influencer twice since that Tuesday night date.

Sunday we went for brunch which turned into a walk then back to hers to hang out on her balcony. 5 hours total I think.

Last night she came to mine for dinner, sealed the deal and all and she didn't leave until 1am or so. Pretty tired today. Seeing her again Saturday night.

It's progressing extremely quick, very unexpected from both of us. Considering I just got out of a 4 year relo, certainly didn't plan for this, but just going to roll with it.

Now I have guilt for the other girls on this rotating roster I've developed over the past few months.

 

[Perth gal]

Had two stayers from my initial post-lockdown run of dates a fortnight ago.

Last night was confusing. Throughout they were very keen, throwing out ideas for the next date, even suggesting Friday night. They mentioned having deleted the app we matched on. We go back to mine, do the thing. Fifteen minutes after leaving they text (nicely) saying they don't think a relationship can be balanced with the rest of their life right now. Mixed messages! Was I a dud root? Disappointing.

Tonight is the other one. Also very keen, pushing for both second and third dates. We've had good times and I'm pretty down. But there still hasn't been even a kiss. I don't think I'm someone who needs things to be fast etc, but think if there's been no kiss after three dates I'm beginning to wonder where this is going. Anyway, maybe tonight's the night, or maybe I need to get back to searching.

Not everyone wants physical contact really quickly. Does not mean that she doesn’t like you.

 

[Perth gal]

Seen old mate influencer twice since that Tuesday night date.

Sunday we went for brunch which turned into a walk then back to hers to hang out on her balcony. 5 hours total I think.

Last night she came to mine for dinner, sealed the deal and all and she didn't leave until 1am or so. Pretty tired today. Seeing her again Saturday night.

It's progressing extremely quick, very unexpected from both of us. Considering I just got out of a 4 year relo, certainly didn't plan for this, but just going to roll with it.

Now I have guilt for the other girls on this rotating roster I've developed over the past few months.

Does she know you’re sleeping with other girls?

 

[chunkylover53]

Does she know you’re sleeping with other girls?

Yes, as I'm aware she's been dating other guys.

First date was only a week ago.

 

[Big Bryza]

Seen old mate influencer twice since that Tuesday night date.

Sunday we went for brunch which turned into a walk then back to hers to hang out on her balcony. 5 hours total I think.

Last night she came to mine for dinner, sealed the deal and all and she didn't leave until 1am or so. Pretty tired today. Seeing her again Saturday night.

It's progressing extremely quick, very unexpected from both of us. Considering I just got out of a 4 year relo, certainly didn't plan for this, but just going to roll with it.

Now I have guilt for the other girls on this rotating roster I've developed over the past few months.

Up ya go son, killing it.

Embrace and enjoy the single life. You'll know when you find something good and that's when you hang on to her.

 

[phantom13]

Had two stayers from my initial post-lockdown run of dates a fortnight ago.

Last night was confusing. Throughout they were very keen, throwing out ideas for the next date, even suggesting Friday night. They mentioned having deleted the app we matched on. We go back to mine, do the thing. Fifteen minutes after leaving they text (nicely) saying they don't think a relationship can be balanced with the rest of their life right now. Mixed messages! Was I a dud root? Disappointing.

Tonight is the other one. Also very keen, pushing for both second and third dates. We've had good times and I'm pretty down. But there still hasn't been even a kiss. I don't think I'm someone who needs things to be fast etc, but think if there's been no kiss after three dates I'm beginning to wonder where this is going. Anyway, maybe tonight's the night, or maybe I need to get back to searching.

Have you tried to kiss her?

 

[Over The Post]

She said this is her BDSM equipment she then pulled out a leather pouch (kinda like a knife holder chefs have). Unties it and there are ******* scalpels in it, gets one and gives herself a half mastectomy literally cuts the top half of her boob in a semi circle. Gives me the knife dripping with bloody I leg it back to the car and home.

Yaaaaahhhh. Nek minnut cops kick your door down while she's sobbing to a policewoman and handing them the knife with your prints on it. No thanks.

I have found that I am quite incapable of hurting a partner. Nothing wrong with a bit of gentle biting or arse slapping. One demanded anal hard, rough and dry. Right then and there. Umm OK if you're sure. She started crying out and it wasn't from pleasure. Instawilt from me, not interested in continuing thanks. Totally against all my instincts.

Tinder matched a chick who wanted to be my slave, thought "hmm am I cut out to be the dom?" and dropped her like a hot spud when I realised we had mutual facebook friends. So the dom question remains unanswered.

 

[akkaps]

Quick vent about a girl I matched with on Hinge about 2hrs ago. She likes my pic of me smoking shisha, and we start chatting about movies.
She then diverts the convo about how her cousin is really desperate on these apps and he push to get socials so quickly and one night stands, etc. We that it’s a bad look and the negative impact it has on Indian guys and the stereotype behind. I agree, talk maturely about the situation and appreciate the maturity in the convo. She says that she matched with someone yesterday that wanted to meet for a date today. Saying that it was too early to meet up and that if needed time. I realize the guy is a friend of mine that she is referring to, and she give me his name.
Then the convo goes on and she commends me for my honesty and that I’m using the apps to date rather than meaningless sex. At the end, she’s like “ I’m going to unmatch you”. And im like WHAT A ****EN HYPOCRITE. She tries to apologise but still. No wonder guys are quick to get girls numbers or socials or dates, because you wanna ****en ghost at a ****en drop of a ****en hat. What a ****en bitch. You are part of the ****en problem. Don’t act high and ****ing mighty about it. ****en bitch

 

[RU_]

Quick vent about a girl I matched with on Hinge about 2hrs ago. She likes my pic of me smoking shisha, and we start chatting about movies.
She then diverts the convo about how her cousin is really desperate on these apps and he push to get socials so quickly and one night stands, etc. We that it’s a bad look and the negative impact it has on Indian guys and the stereotype behind. I agree, talk maturely about the situation and appreciate the maturity in the convo. She says that she matched with someone yesterday that wanted to meet for a date today. Saying that it was too early to meet up and that if needed time. I realize the guy is a friend of mine that she is referring to, and she give me his name.
Then the convo goes on and she commends me for my honesty and that I’m using the apps to date rather than meaningless sex. At the end, she’s like “ I’m going to unmatch you”. And im like WHAT A fu**EN HYPOCRITE. She tries to apologise but still. No wonder guys are quick to get girls numbers or socials or dates, because you wanna fu**en ghost at a fu**en drop of a fu**en hat. What a fu**en b*tch. You are part of the fu**en problem. Don’t act high and ******* mighty about it. fu**en b*tch

I’m not following this 100% I don’t think.. why did she unmatch you?

 

[akkaps]

I’m not following this 100% I don’t think.. why did she unmatch you?

Because she felt like it. I told her don’t lead people on if you are going to unmatch them

 

[Perth gal]

So you dodged a bullet.

 

[akkaps]

Yeah it’s just infuriating, cause she’s part of the problem she was trying to preach against

 

[phantom13]

“ I’m going to unmatch you”. And im like WHAT A fu**EN HYPOCRITE. She tries to apologise but still. No wonder guys are quick to get girls numbers or socials or dates, because you wanna fu**en ghost at a fu**en drop of a fu**en hat. What a fu**en b*tch. You are part of the fu**en problem. Don’t act high and ******* mighty about it. fu**en b*tch

… I can’t imagine why she’d not want to meet up with you…

 

[Sketi]

Broke up with my partner after 4 years together (amicably) about 2.5 months ago now, not really a big believer in waiting around so got on the apps and got myself back out there pretty quick. It's been busy, everyone is craving some sort of connection. Was on Bumble, had some success on there but seems much more for people looking for something serious, so I've been on Tinder and Feeld.

Lockdown has really streamlined the whole dating process.

Date 1: Walk around Albert Park or the Tan
Date 2: Dinner at someones house (if date 1 goes well).

Given the curfew it's highly likely sleepovers occur as well (yes I've been having multiple bubble buddies during lockdown, I want to get laid, sue me). No $150 cocktail bills, no stressful 'um ah do you want to come back to mine' situation. Can show off some cooking skills and enjoy a night in together.

Voice memos have been a game changer for me. Get off the apps and into WhatsApp or any other platform that allows voice memos as quick as you can. It's less intrusive than a phone call yet accomplishes far more than never-ending texting convos that mostly lead nowhere. My thought process is that if somebody is confronted by, or can't reciprocate a voice memo, then they have no intention of meeting up.

For all the horror stories people have, i haven't really had any. The worst I guess was a recent walk, we both struggled for conversation by about the 4km mark. The next day I thought I better message her and thank her for the walk but tell her I'm not interested, but i was already unmatched.

This is all pretty solid. I like the voice memo idea.

My only minor critique would be the last part: no need to send a rejection text if there is no follow up on the other end. Just do a mutual fade.

 

[Sketi]

To celebrate being out of lockdown I went on a date a day for five days in a row this week. A successful exercise all in all, even if I was pretty drained by the last couple. I've appreciated I should follow my instinct more - I was keen for three and decided to give the other two a chance, and in the end am going on second dates with the three I was already keen on (one locked in, the other two are just negotiating a time at the moment). A root out of one, ending a far-too-long drought, and make out sessions with the other two, it was a good week and nice to be back to dating, yeah!

Bro I don't know how you had the energy for 5 different people 5 days in a row, not surprised you were drained by the end. Good effort.

 

[faible]

This is all pretty solid. I like the voice memo idea.

My only minor critique would be the last part: no need to send a rejection text if there is no follow up on the other end. Just do a mutual fade.

I don't mind it really, if he ran in to them in the street in future they'd remember him as the guy that at least didn't fade / ghost after a date. You never know what the other person is thinking of the interaction. Better to be clear, they might have thought it went OK and be waiting around to hear from him.

 

[chunkylover53]

This is all pretty solid. I like the voice memo idea.

My only minor critique would be the last part: no need to send a rejection text if there is no follow up on the other end. Just do a mutual fade.

Each to their own. My view is if they've made the effort for the date, a follow up message is polite and costs nothing so is fine to send - whether there's chemistry or not.

Apparently Hinge has updated to allow voice memos now, might have to finally get on it.

Problem is all my photos are either travel photos from 2-3 years ago or with my ex-partner the past 4 years. Not that I look that different, but still.

 

[Sketi]

I don't mind it really, if he ran in to them in the street in future they'd remember him as the guy that at least didn't fade / ghost after a date. You never know what the other person is thinking of the interaction. Better to be clear, they might have thought it went OK and be waiting around to hear from him.

Yeah I can see that too, probably varies case by case. I went for walk recently where it was just so clear that we were too different and there was so obviously nothing there that it didn't really feel necessary. I don't feel like it counts as ghosting if there is no actual message or request to respond to.

The moment I knew there was definitely no hope for us:

Her: "my dream job is to get into boarder security. I just want bust people for drugs."

I blurt out: "what! but I love drugs!?"

 

[akkaps]

… I can’t imagine why she’d not want to meet up with you…

I just felt like testing out the swear filter to be honest

 

[chunkylover53]

Yeah I can see that too, probably varies case by case. I went for walk recently where it was just so clear that we were too different and there was so obviously nothing there that it didn't really feel necessary. I don't feel like it counts as ghosting if there is no actual message or request to respond to.

The moment I knew there was definitely no hope for us:

Her: "my dream job is to get into boarder security. I just want bust people for drugs."

I blurt out: "what! but I love drugs!?"

There's nothing ****ing worse than finding out they're a prude about gear.

On the other hand, there's nothing better when you both realize you love to get on it. A giant social barrier is broken down.

 

[Sketi]

There's nothing ******* worse than finding out they're a prude about gear.

On the other hand, there's nothing better when you both realize you love to get on it. A giant social barrier is broken down.

Get on Hinge man. Voice prompts and there is an option to show/filter recreational drug use preferences lol. Sounds like you've already got a bit going on though.

 

[craigos]

Yeah I can see that too, probably varies case by case. I went for walk recently where it was just so clear that we were too different and there was so obviously nothing there that it didn't really feel necessary. I don't feel like it counts as ghosting if there is no actual message or request to respond to.

The moment I knew there was definitely no hope for us:

Her: "my dream job is to get into boarder security. I just want bust people for drugs."

I blurt out: "what! but I love drugs!?"

Should have roleplayed by jamming a few pills up your butt and then seeing if she could find them.