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Scotland said:
You could mount a case that women are worse when it comes to pre-judging.

A bloke flicking through pictures of girls is more than likely going to go 'yes, no, yes, no, god no, oh my god marry me, yes, no' etc. Women no doubt do it too.

Women IMO are far more likely to find a picture of a guy they do think is good looking then rule him out for some other reason based on a couple of photos or maybe some words. How many guys that aren't Silent Alarm are going to rule out a girl because they don't like her shoes?
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Personally I think guys are much less selective with girls on Tinder, its more a case of swiping right all the time and then evaluating your matches later. Whereas women are a little more selective, they like to check out all the photos and what was put in the bio etc. and then make a decision. Thats not to say there'll be guys and girls that don't conform to what i just said but from my experience thats how it is.
 
Scotland said:
Attractiveness and fun/friendliness are not mutually exclusive.
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Absolutely, and I should make the point that there's nothing wrong with going for attractive girls. I'm the same, if I'm instantly attracted to someone I will make the effort to get to know them. I just think a lot of people trick themselves into thinking that the hotter the girl they get, the happier they will be.
 

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getthefooty said:
Absolutely, and I should make the point that there's nothing wrong with going for attractive girls. I'm the same, if I'm instantly attracted to someone I will make the effort to get to know them. I just think a lot of people trick themselves into thinking that the hotter the girl they get, the happier they will be.
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I have a theory that relationships are a bit like a series of tests.

Test 1, is someone good looking enough? Different for each person obviously. It's not about an immediate definitive yes, it's about ruling out a definitive no.
Test 2, are there any obvious deal breakers? Age, height, kids, religion - whatever.
Test 3, do you like them and do they like you? I.e. do you actually work as a couple.
Test 4, are you heading in the same direction blah blah...

Big stuff out of the way first, then smaller and smaller stuff is whittled away as time progresses. Just a theory.
 
Scotland said:
I have a theory that relationships are a bit like a series of tests.

Test 1, is someone good looking enough? Different for each person obviously. It's not about an immediate definitive yes, it's about ruling out a definitive no.
Test 2, are there any obvious deal breakers? Age, height, kids, religion - whatever.
Test 3, do you like them and do they like you? I.e. do you actually work as a couple.
Test 4, are you heading in the same direction blah blah...

Big stuff out of the way first, then smaller and smaller stuff is whittled away as time progresses. Just a theory.
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I'd probably disagree on your characterisation on what is the 'big' and 'small' stuff - whether you like each other is by far the biggest for me. If you mean to say that these aren't ranked in importance, and each test must be satisfied before you can have a lasting relationship, I'd be more inclined to agree. In general though I think a lot of people have differing priorities - e.g., if you're 35+ the tests might be in reverse order.
 
Sublime said:
That is very true and i agree with that, but i've seen plenty of guys on tinder saying terrible things about quite attractive girls. Some of these guys aren't any massive prize themselves. Half the time they're more worried about what their mates would say about them being with this person, rather than their own feelings.
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This x 1 million.
 
getthefooty said:
I'd probably disagree on your characterisation on what is the 'big' and 'small' stuff - whether you like each other is by far the biggest for me. If you mean to say that these aren't ranked in importance, and each test must be satisfied before you can have a lasting relationship, I'd be more inclined to agree. In general though I think a lot of people have differing priorities - e.g., if you're 35+ the tests might be in reverse order.
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To me those tests seem to be in chronological order, rather than importance. You aren't going to know whether or not you really like or 'click' with someone for a while, so you have to go off appearances or more superficial factors first. Yeah it might seem vain or petty, but I think it's pragmatic too. Getting to know someone properly takes a lot of time and in the context of starting a relationship is a big investment in time and emotion, so having some sort of 'screening' process will make things more efficient and (ideally) more successful.
 
Dory_77 said:
To me those tests seem to be in chronological order, rather than importance. You aren't going to know whether or not you really like or 'click' with someone for a while, so you have to go off appearances or more superficial factors first. Yeah it might seem vain or petty, but I think it's pragmatic too. Getting to know someone properly takes a lot of time and in the context of starting a relationship is a big investment in time and emotion, so having some sort of 'screening' process will make things more efficient and (ideally) more successful.
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Bingo.
 
Dory_77 said:
To me those tests seem to be in chronological order, rather than importance. You aren't going to know whether or not you really like or 'click' with someone for a while, so you have to go off appearances or more superficial factors first. Yeah it might seem vain or petty, but I think it's pragmatic too. Getting to know someone properly takes a lot of time and in the context of starting a relationship is a big investment in time and emotion, so having some sort of 'screening' process will make things more efficient and (ideally) more successful.
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Yeah, I figured he meant that. It doesn't necessarily hold though. I think there are definitely times where you would dismiss someone initially based on looks and then as you get to know them their personality sucks you in and you are more attracted to them as a result. I think these probably end up being the strongest relationships as well.
 
Scotland said:
I have a theory that relationships are a bit like a series of tests.

Test 1, is someone good looking enough? Different for each person obviously. It's not about an immediate definitive yes, it's about ruling out a definitive no.
Test 2, are there any obvious deal breakers? Age, height, kids, religion - whatever.
Test 3, do you like them and do they like you? I.e. do you actually work as a couple.
Test 4, are you heading in the same direction blah blah...

Big stuff out of the way first, then smaller and smaller stuff is whittled away as time progresses. Just a theory.
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I don't think people use Tinder to find a relationship to be honest.
 

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Dazb86 said:
How old are the people you talk to?
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I know plenty of uni students who shacked up with someone pretty early or saw people fairly regularly on Tinder. One of my mates, I have no idea how he does it, but he'll rack up about four keen girls a week and about half of them always look heavy on the girlfriend vibes.
 
Dazb86 said:
It might be a factor in why they are using Tinder for relationships. I've never heard of it and know plenty of people that use it.
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Well you can't really make broad sweeping statments then. Alone in here there would be a number of posts referencing people meeting their gfs on tinder.
 

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Maybe I should have read the whole thread.

In my group of friends it's basically just used to find no strings attached sex. Can't really think of a time someone has seen a girl regularly afterwards.
 
Dazb86 said:
Maybe I should have read the whole thread.

In my group of friends it's basically just used to find no strings attached sex. Can't really think of a time someone has seen a girl regularly afterwards.
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So were none of your mates any good that they got no repeat business?
Or were none of the girls any good so didnt get another shot at the title?
 
toxic said:
So were none of your mates any good that they got no repeat business?
Or were none of the girls any good so didnt get another shot at the title?
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I think they are being pretty straightforward about why they are using tinder. They don't really take the girls out or anything. Just invite them over for a drink. It's all pretty short lived. From memory nothing has lasted longer than a month with the odd ongoing random fling.

From the sounds of things we've got it all wrong.
 
Dazb86 said:
Maybe I should have read the whole thread.

In my group of friends it's basically just used to find no strings attached sex. Can't really think of a time someone has seen a girl regularly afterwards.
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I have, for 7 months actually :D

But yes, I can see that's a rarity. Even in my case, I met ~7 girls and only saw one more than a couple of times.
 
Dazb86 said:
I think they are being pretty straightforward about why they are using tinder. They don't really take the girls out or anything. Just invite them over for a drink. It's all pretty short lived. From memory nothing has lasted longer than a month with the odd ongoing random fling.

From the sounds of things we've got it all wrong.
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Whilst I'm sure you're mates are fine, that's very unsafe from a girl's point of view. Should always meet in a public place the first time.
 
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