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Speck said:
So I need advice from GD.

Matched with this chick on Tinder. Face okay, body hidden. Nice to chat with so I thought I'll proceed with caution for a little while. Ended up exchanging numbers and texting a bit which was all going well.

Eventually I get her Facebook and upon looking well yeah no thanks (to put it lightly). Trouble was at this stage I was on a drunken two week bender holiday which meant in my drunken state each night the conversation got a little hot. She's now clingy as **** and does the equivalent of the famous "pls respond" if I don't reply to a text within half an hour and is insistent we meet.

I've woken up to my mistakes and started to ease back using the excuse of work for not texting much but I don't know how to let her down without making her feel terrible.

How to proceed GD?
Click to expand...

Start dating her (beauty is only skin deep), you will fall in love with her personality, move in together and start planning a holiday to the Pacific Islands (I hear Samoa is beautiful this time of year). When you return from holiday you will have realised that your looks are failing you and come to the deeply depressing realisation that this is as good as it gets. She makes a pretty good lasagne and knows where to find the male G spot, you'll discuss buying a dog and both discover that you have a love of Burmese Mountain Dogs.

You'll buy a puppy who you'll care for like a child and both of you know that the small inner city apartment is no place for such a big animal, in fact it is cruel. At this point you both decide on buying a house in the outer suburbs where the dog will be happy but you will be miserable. You wont see your friends anymore and your weekends will be taken up entertaining your partners friends who visit to talk about babies and when you'll pop the question.

After a year or two you succumb to the constant pressure and finally decide to get married, the wedding is a great success and everyone has a fantastic time listening to you both talk about the life changing experiences you had in Samoa when you sat with a local family and ate a passion fruit whilst they played the ukulele. Everytime you're intimate your mind wonders to old girlfriends, friends mothers or the lady with a bung eye that serves you the morning coffee but you punch through because you're a warrior and self loathing is nothing but a wasted emotion.

10 years pass and the only thing you look forward to in life is having a morning dump uninterrupted. By this point your prescription drug habit is out of control and coupled with the realisation of a wasted life you decide to end it all. You leave a note saying you need to discover yourself and move to Bali where you marry a 20 year old girl with questionable hygiene and count down the days until her boyfriend kills you in your sleep.
 
craigos said:
Start dating her (beauty is only skin deep), you will fall in love with her personality, move in together and start planning a holiday to the Pacific Islands (I hear Samoa is beautiful this time of year). When you return from holiday you will have realised that your looks are failing you and come to the deeply depressing realisation that this is as good as it gets. She makes a pretty good lasagne and knows where to find the male G spot, you'll discuss buying a dog and both discover that you have a love of Burmese Mountain Dogs.

You'll buy a puppy who you'll care for like a child and both of you know that the small inner city apartment is no place for such a big animal, in fact it is cruel. At this point you both decide on buying a house in the outer suburbs where the dog will be happy but you will be miserable. You wont see your friends anymore and your weekends will be taken up entertaining your partners friends who visit to talk about babies and when you'll pop the question.

After a year or two you succumb to the constant pressure and finally decide to get married, the wedding is a great success and everyone has a fantastic time listening to you both talk about the life changing experiences you had in Samoa when you sat with a local family and ate a passion fruit whilst they played the ukulele. Everytime you're intimate your mind wonders to old girlfriends, friends mothers or the lady with a bung eye that serves you the morning coffee but you punch through because you're a warrior and self loathing is nothing but a wasted emotion.

10 years pass and the only thing you look forward to in life is having a morning dump uninterrupted. By this point your prescription drug habit is out of control and coupled with the realisation of a wasted life you decide to end it all. You leave a note saying you need to discover yourself and move to Bali where you marry a 20 year old girl with questionable hygiene and count down the days until her boyfriend kills you in your sleep.
Click to expand...
You NEED to start a new career. In writing. ASAP..
 
craigos said:
Start dating her (beauty is only skin deep), you will fall in love with her personality, move in together and start planning a holiday to the Pacific Islands (I hear Samoa is beautiful this time of year). When you return from holiday you will have realised that your looks are failing you and come to the deeply depressing realisation that this is as good as it gets. She makes a pretty good lasagne and knows where to find the male G spot, you'll discuss buying a dog and both discover that you have a love of Burmese Mountain Dogs.

You'll buy a puppy who you'll care for like a child and both of you know that the small inner city apartment is no place for such a big animal, in fact it is cruel. At this point you both decide on buying a house in the outer suburbs where the dog will be happy but you will be miserable. You wont see your friends anymore and your weekends will be taken up entertaining your partners friends who visit to talk about babies and when you'll pop the question.

After a year or two you succumb to the constant pressure and finally decide to get married, the wedding is a great success and everyone has a fantastic time listening to you both talk about the life changing experiences you had in Samoa when you sat with a local family and ate a passion fruit whilst they played the ukulele. Everytime you're intimate your mind wonders to old girlfriends, friends mothers or the lady with a bung eye that serves you the morning coffee but you punch through because you're a warrior and self loathing is nothing but a wasted emotion.

10 years pass and the only thing you look forward to in life is having a morning dump uninterrupted. By this point your prescription drug habit is out of control and coupled with the realisation of a wasted life you decide to end it all. You leave a note saying you need to discover yourself and move to Bali where you marry a 20 year old girl with questionable hygiene and count down the days until her boyfriend kills you in your sleep.
Click to expand...


Best.Post.Ever
 

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Speck said:
So I need advice from GD.

Matched with this chick on Tinder. Face okay, body hidden. Nice to chat with so I thought I'll proceed with caution for a little while. Ended up exchanging numbers and texting a bit which was all going well.

Eventually I get her Facebook and upon looking well yeah no thanks (to put it lightly). Trouble was at this stage I was on a drunken two week bender holiday which meant in my drunken state each night the conversation got a little hot. She's now clingy as **** and does the equivalent of the famous "pls respond" if I don't reply to a text within half an hour and is insistent we meet.

I've woken up to my mistakes and started to ease back using the excuse of work for not texting much but I don't know how to let her down without making her feel terrible.

How to proceed GD?
Click to expand...

Lisa: What do you say to a boy to let him know you're not interested?

Marge Simpson: Well, honey, I...

Homer: Let me handle this, Marge. I've heard them all: "I like you as a friend," "I think we should see other people," "I no speak English"...

Lisa: I get the idea.

Homer: "I'm married to the sea," "I don't want to kill you but I will"...

Marge Simpson: Honey! Lisa, I'd tell this boy that you're very flattered, but you're just not ready for this kind of thing.

Lisa: Thanks, Mom.

Homer: And if that doesn't work, six simple words: "I'm not gay, but I'll learn."
 
Speck said:
So I need advice from GD.

Matched with this chick on Tinder. Face okay, body hidden. Nice to chat with so I thought I'll proceed with caution for a little while. Ended up exchanging numbers and texting a bit which was all going well.

Eventually I get her Facebook and upon looking well yeah no thanks (to put it lightly). Trouble was at this stage I was on a drunken two week bender holiday which meant in my drunken state each night the conversation got a little hot. She's now clingy as **** and does the equivalent of the famous "pls respond" if I don't reply to a text within half an hour and is insistent we meet.

I've woken up to my mistakes and started to ease back using the excuse of work for not texting much but I don't know how to let her down without making her feel terrible.

How to proceed GD?
Click to expand...

If you've never met her then just stop replying to her messages. She'll get the hint eventually.
 
I've got a few new matches in the last day or so and not one has replied
 
rippersnipper said:
I've got a few new matches in the last day or so and not one has replied
Click to expand...

It's a game of numbers.

Swipe right on 500 girls, maybe one in 20 will swipe right back.

Initiate conversation with 25 matched girls, maybe 10 will respond.

Of 10 conversations, maybe 3 will be interesting. Of those 3 maybe 1 will go anywhere.

Etc.

The numbers are all made up but you get the picture.
 
Richo is God said:
Matched with a girl who went to the college I follow in the college football, sent her a couple messages asking about the win in the playoffs and never got a reply And this was 2 weeks ago
Click to expand...

You should draw up plays in MS Paint and send them to her and ask if she can forward them on to the coach
 

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Looks like the lads matching this girl are using a classic name pun :D
73d38f6d89d21b0a1f4416a1d172607b.jpg



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craigos said:
Start dating her (beauty is only skin deep), you will fall in love with her personality, move in together and start planning a holiday to the Pacific Islands (I hear Samoa is beautiful this time of year). When you return from holiday you will have realised that your looks are failing you and come to the deeply depressing realisation that this is as good as it gets. She makes a pretty good lasagne and knows where to find the male G spot, you'll discuss buying a dog and both discover that you have a love of Burmese Mountain Dogs.

You'll buy a puppy who you'll care for like a child and both of you know that the small inner city apartment is no place for such a big animal, in fact it is cruel. At this point you both decide on buying a house in the outer suburbs where the dog will be happy but you will be miserable. You wont see your friends anymore and your weekends will be taken up entertaining your partners friends who visit to talk about babies and when you'll pop the question.

After a year or two you succumb to the constant pressure and finally decide to get married, the wedding is a great success and everyone has a fantastic time listening to you both talk about the life changing experiences you had in Samoa when you sat with a local family and ate a passion fruit whilst they played the ukulele. Everytime you're intimate your mind wonders to old girlfriends, friends mothers or the lady with a bung eye that serves you the morning coffee but you punch through because you're a warrior and self loathing is nothing but a wasted emotion.

10 years pass and the only thing you look forward to in life is having a morning dump uninterrupted. By this point your prescription drug habit is out of control and coupled with the realisation of a wasted life you decide to end it all. You leave a note saying you need to discover yourself and move to Bali where you marry a 20 year old girl with questionable hygiene and count down the days until her boyfriend kills you in your sleep.
Click to expand...

Double keeper qualities.
 
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