Computers & Internet Tinder

[LukasTheGreat]

So the bots are back in full force. Haven't had any in months and have now had about 10 in 10 minutes this morning.

Get ****ed.

 

[Duritz]

Bots are great in the sack.

*tip - don't accidentally type "y" instead of "t" in a sentence like the above; they're next to each other on the keyboard...

 

[rippersnipper]

As legitimate as those Nigerian princes.

Those guys are pretty legit mate, got an email last week from one of them, albeit a barrister in Togo.

 

[Stratton_Gun]

"Not your typical chick. Love 4WDing, fishing, camping"

I see this a lot, and it seems you are a bit more typical than you think, love.

In other words bogan tomboy. No thanks Jeff

 

[BluesMan]

In other words bogan tomboy. No thanks Jeff

Sometimes they can be real "keen" (better than using the S word) though, so depends what you're using tinder for

 

[BotsMaster]

 

[Pea Nut]

How many are bots, and how many are bitter ex-boyfriends trying to get some cheap revenge ??

 

[magic_johnson!]

Back on the London tinder train last couple of days, aint no bots but plenty a game!

 

[Shupe]

My favourite part about the double post is that there's 20 minutes difference.

 

[HirdyLannister]

Sometimes girls do send a message first.

 

[craigos]

10 years into the future at a reception centre in suburban Ringwood, people have began to gather to witness the holy union of Ellyse and HirdyLannister. They've come from far and wide, Nonna Lannister had even made the grueling trip from Wagga Wagga where she now resides because the cold winters of Melbourne play havoc on the arthritis that has crueled her once toned body. Where the young gentleman use to admire her sensual thighs they now laugh at her attempts to walk with the creaky hips she now has to battle with on a daily basis. Looking more like a crab than a human, this is possibly her last family function before the grim reaper comes knocking.

Fast forward a few hours and the reception centre (also doubles as the Polish Migrant Tram Workers Club) had witnessed the formal part of the evening come and go. Speeches are quickly arriving and the best man is known for being a bit of a jokster, racist, homophobic and jokes about the Polish are about all that's deemed untouchable topics. The speeches start with Thommo, the best man, regaling stories of the time HirdyLannister fell asleep in a homosexual nightclub toilet only to be awaken by the touch of a hairy 40 year old Argentinian man name Ramone and onto the side splitting'nly hilarious tale of how at the age of 16 he lost his virginity to the home economics teacher who was subsequently charged and found guilty of interfering with a minor and did a stretch of 4 years in a minimum security prison farm in Swan Hill.

At this point in time, Nonna Lannister is absolutely disgusted and coupled with Thommo's love of profanity, she is barely hanging in. A deeply religious woman, she looks inside her necklace trinket to the photo of Cardinal George Pell that has adorned her neck since she met the then Priest at a Toys R Us store opening at Chadstone Shopping Centre in '92. She begs him for the strength of 80 men, or 160 boys, whatever the Cardinal has readily available to get her through the night but what she is about to hear will be the catalyst for a doomed marriage that wont last the year out.

Thommo has spent weeks refining his speech, he knows the last joke has to be the funniest, has to be edgy and in the modern times we live in, arguably has to be shocking in its content. He looks over to the happy couple and begins with the words "lastly, as some of you wont be aware, they actually met online, not at a 90's Karaoke Night at the Manhattan Hotel that they led you to believe".

At this point, the face of Hirdy and Ellyse have gone white, they know this could be a little embarrassing but after a quick whisper of "who cares" by Hirdy to Ellyse's ear, they begin to laugh off the inevitable truth bomb about to be released. Thommo then continues on "they actually met on Tinder! Now that's hardly unusual in the ****en times we live in, even poo..., umm, even two men can be miserable like the rest of us but the funny part is their opening conversation that went a little like this. Eh, em, What r u like at licking clit? Followed by the romantically worded response from this funny c*nt here of Depends how good the bj is! Have a great night everyone and lets get onna"

Not a second went passed before a commotion at the back of the room erupted, it was Nonna Lannister, her frail body couldn't handle all this disgusting behaviour and decided it was time to leave this horrible world. The room was shocked and the ceremony could no longer go on in good taste, much to the annoyance of Thommo who had a solid 10 Beam and Cokes still left in him. Ellyse and Hirdy had both known, deep down, that it was probably never going to work but they had fooled themselves into believing that a girl from Palestine and a boy from Israel could live happily ever after. Sometimes love can't conquer all.

 

[kfc1]

10 years into the future at a reception centre in suburban Ringwood, people have began to gather to witness the holy union of Ellyse and HirdyLannister. They've come from far and wide, Nonna Lannister had even made the grueling trip from Wagga Wagga where she now resides because the cold winters of Melbourne play havoc on the arthritis that has crueled her once toned body. Where the young gentleman use to admire her sensual thighs they now laugh at her attempts to walk with the creaky hips she now has to battle with on a daily basis. Looking more like a crab than a human, this is possibly her last family function before the grim reaper comes knocking.

Fast forward a few hours and the reception centre (also doubles as the Polish Migrant Tram Workers Club) had witnessed the formal part of the evening come and go. Speeches are quickly arriving and the best man is known for being a bit of a jokster, racist, homophobic and jokes about the Polish are about all that's deemed untouchable topics. The speeches start with Thommo, the best man, regaling stories of the time HirdyLannister fell asleep in a homosexual nightclub toilet only to be awaken by the touch of a hairy 40 year old Argentinian man name Ramone and onto the side splitting'nly hilarious tale of how at the age of 16 he lost his virginity to the home economics teacher who was subsequently charged and found guilty of interfering with a minor and did a stretch of 4 years in a minimum security prison farm in Swan Hill.

At this point in time, Nonna Lannister is absolutely disgusted and coupled with Thommo's love of profanity, she is barely hanging in. A deeply religious woman, she looks inside her necklace trinket to the photo of Cardinal George Pell that has adorned her neck since she met the then Priest at a Toys R Us store opening at Chadstone Shopping Centre in '92. She begs him for the strength of 80 men, or 160 boys, whatever the Cardinal has readily available to get her through the night but what she is about to hear will be the catalyst for a doomed marriage that wont last the year out.

Thommo has spent weeks refining his speech, he knows the last joke has to be the funniest, has to be edgy and in the modern times we live in, arguably has to be shocking in its content. He looks over to the happy couple and begins with the words "lastly, as some of you wont be aware, they actually met online, not at a 90's Karaoke Night at the Manhattan Hotel that they led you to believe".

At this point, the face of Hirdy and Ellyse have gone white, they know this could be a little embarrassing but after a quick whisper of "who cares" by Hirdy to Ellyse's ear, they begin to laugh off the inevitable truth bomb about to be released. Thommo then continues on "they actually met on Tinder! Now that's hardly unusual in the ****en times we live in, even poo..., umm, even two men can be miserable like the rest of us but the funny part is their opening conversation that went a little like this. Eh, em, What r u like at licking clit? Followed by the romantically worded response from this funny c*nt here of Depends how good the bj is! Have a great night everyone and lets get onna"

Not a second went passed before a commotion at the back of the room erupted, it was Nonna Lannister, her frail body couldn't handle all this disgusting behaviour and decided it was time to leave this horrible world. The room was shocked and the ceremony could no longer go on in good taste, much to the annoyance of Thommo who had a solid 10 Beam and Cokes still left in him. Ellyse and Hirdy had both known, deep down, that it was probably never going to work but they had fooled themselves into believing that a girl from Palestine and a boy from Israel could live happily ever after. Sometimes love can't conquer all.

10/10 would fap again

 

[magic_johnson!]

My favourite part about the double post is that there's 20 minutes difference.

What double post..?

Just went on my first tinderdate, really wasn't feeling a saturday night in so went on the prowl. Going into it, I thought she'd be okay, but you know, really just wanted to go get some beers with someone and have a bit of a confidence boost.

Turns out, she was muchhh better than her photos/I had thought. Had a little bit of iranian in her, studied law at cambridge, very confident/assertive, the usual traits of someone who wouldn't go for me... Not quite the confidence boost I was after, however ill just say that im sitting here at 3:30am very happy.

 

[Duritz]

What double post..?

Just went on my first tinderdate, really wasn't feeling a saturday night in so went on the prowl. Going into it, I thought she'd be okay, but you know, really just wanted to go get some beers with someone and have a bit of a confidence boost.

Turns out, she was muchhh better than her photos/I had thought. Had a little bit of iranian in her, studied law at cambridge, very confident/assertive, the usual traits of someone who wouldn't go for me... Not quite the confidence boost I was after, however ill just say that im sitting here at 3:30am very happy.

Did you pork her?

 

[GWBogan]

Anyone else having technical difficulties with Tinder?

 

[BluesMan]

Anyone else having technical difficulties with Tinder?

Is that your excuse for not getting any matches?

 

[Jack Richards]

Did you pork her?

Do Iranians eat pork?

 

[Duritz]

Do Iranians eat pork?

Daily, nightly and ever so rightly.

 

[Illinois Nazi]

Had a little bit of iranian in her,

I didn't know you were Iranian.

 

[magic_johnson!]

I didn't know you were Iranian.

She'd have much more than a little bit if I were Iranian

 

[Duritz]

It's like the Indians. They love to eat their beef they just don't like to swallow it.

 

[GWBogan]

Is that your excuse for not getting any matches?

Shut up, D/H!

 

[sojthebest]

Anyone see any celebrities on Tinder? Closest I've come is Bernard Tomic's sister who I just swiped right on

 

[toxic]

Anyone see any celebrities on Tinder? Closest I've come is Bernard Tomic's sister who I just swiped right on

Isnt Tomics sister 17?

Edit: just turned 18

 

[Kyptastic]

Anyone see any celebrities on Tinder? Closest I've come is Bernard Tomic's sister who I just swiped right on

Went out with an actress from Tinder who'd been on a few episodes of Offspring among other shows. Ended up doing a trivia competition, fun night. Never saw her again.

Currently chatting with a former Bachelor contestant (2014 series) - if you consider that a celebrity.