Computers & Internet Tinder

[Ligma]

There are guys who have aired me just like that.

You can’t expect a full blown conversation if you are just going to say something closed ended in which 95% of the time get a straight forward answer.

 

[Jack Richards]

Its absolutely not the same as that response in a bar, its a short form of contact.

For me, any response indicates they want to continue the conversation, if they didnt, they wouldnt respond at all.

At the risk of getting the "your a soft **** lefty" thing here, women have been conditioned to either a) expect to be negged or b) bow down at a mans feet over a compliment for decades. Being able to respond with thank you is something most have had to get used to.

I find it suprising that dudes would just pack up shop when they are getting a response.

Not at all mate. Maybe I am just old fashioned. I have never used dating apps but know blokes who have. I just think both parties need to put an effort in.

 

[Perth gal]

To be fair I would.

It's the equivalent of being in a bar, walking up to an attractive women/Bloke and giving a compliment just for them to say Thank you and look away to talk to someone else. It comes off as not interested or fishing for compliments to boost an ego. You also run the risk of putting in 100% effort for nothing.

If I got a response of "Thank You. You have a lovely smile(or something added on)". I would think they are interested and keep the convo going on my end. I'm just interesred in knowing why girls/blokes think "Thank You" is a good response and what do they hope would stem from it.. maybe it's a case of "What people want?" At least make an effort and not make one person do the work.

Perth gal or any other women could you shed light on why women do it. Not singling out..

You have said a single thing, you like my profile. I have responded thanks . It’s a single thing in return. If I wasn’t interested I would not have responded or responded thanks good luck with you search. I understand that maybe other females have responded thanks and then the conversation ends but honestly to give up because you don’t like the comment is pathetic. Stop judging and just go with it. So you try once and then just give up .

 

[Perth gal]

Its absolutely not the same as that response in a bar, its a short form of contact.

For me, any response indicates they want to continue the conversation, if they didnt, they wouldnt respond at all.

At the risk of getting the "your a soft **** lefty" thing here, women have been conditioned to either a) expect to be negged or b) bow down at a mans feet over a compliment for decades. Being able to respond with thank you is something most have had to get used to.

I find it suprising that dudes would just pack up shop when they are getting a response.

They do.

 

[revo333]

I find it suprising that dudes would just pack up shop when they are getting a response.

I will pack up shop if I have a conversation on Tinder and it's me asking all the questions and all I'm getting back are 'thanks, 'good', 'ok'.

 

[Perth gal]

Multiple questions ending in one word answers is a bit different to I like your profile pic and thanks, isn’t it..?

 

[phantom13]

Not at all mate. Maybe I am just old fashioned. I have never used dating apps but know blokes who have. I just think both parties need to put an effort in.

She has, shes replied. Its not like "i like your profile" or "you have beautiful eyes" is some deep profound comment.

I will pack up shop if I have a conversation on Tinder and it's me asking all the questions and all I'm getting back are 'thanks, 'good', 'ok'.

But thats not whats happened here, its the first interaction and shes responded. If it continues in that one word answer thing then fair enough but thats not whats being described.

 

[revo333]

Not at all mate. Maybe I am just old fashioned. I have never used dating apps but know blokes who have. I just think both parties need to put an effort in.

In my experience someone that responds with more than a 'thanks' has usually been fun and worth talking to.

 

[revo333]

But thats not whats happened here, its the first interaction and shes responded. If it continues in that one word answer thing then fair enough but thats not whats being described.

Yes, and that's the way it usually goes so that's why a guy might pack it up straight away after the first response.

 

[Perth gal]

In my experience someone that responds with more than a 'thanks' has usually been fun and worth talking to.

Cool . I just filter out the men who give up too easily .

 

[phantom13]

Yes, and that's the way it usually goes so that's why a guy might pack it up straight away after the first response.

So all women are the same? You do you man but if youre just gonna dive out because women arent throwing themselves at you for your "nice profile" thats on you not them.

 

[Perth gal]

Also some women are a little shyer than others.
Because of my background I’m wary of new people ie strangers . This is me in general. It takes time before people prove themselves to me and I trust them .

 

[Billy ray]

i was conscious of providing one word responses or closed answers, so if i was keen i would always do a follow up post/reply asking a question just to keep it flowing

 

[revo333]

So all women are the same? You do you man but if youre just gonna dive out because women arent throwing themselves at you for your "nice profile" thats on you not them.

thanks.

 

[phantom13]

thanks.

If you wanna ignore me thats fair but there is a literal woman saying "I often respond to the first message with 'Thanks' and im interested"...

 

[revo333]

If you wanna ignore me thats fair but there is a literal woman saying "I often respond to the first message with 'Thanks' and im interested"...

Yeah it's on me and not them and I've been on the other side of the fence as well.

 

[phantom13]

Yeah it's on me and not them and I've been on the other side of the fence as well.

Sorry mate, im not having a go at you. Appreciate that youve been on the end of it.

I think im just suprised. With the amount of complete non replies i imagine people get on this i would have thought youd have a crack at any response.

 

[Poetic Justice]

If I hark back to my old days (many moons ago) - getting the 'thanks' back without any further follow up it was just as frustrating as a non response.

Is it too much to ask for a "thanks, how's your day?" or something to that effect?

And in the case of Perth gal - I don't mean to sound rude in saying this but are you older than the average dating app punter? If so, I think the way that introductions and conversations would unfold on these mediums would be vastly different to the 18-25yo bracket.

 

[Perth gal]

This has been a very interesting conversation.
It’s just clarified a lot for me.

 

[Perth gal]

If I hark back to my old days (many moons ago) - getting the 'thanks' back without any further follow up it was just as frustrating as a non response.

Is it too much to ask for a "thanks, how's your day?" or something to that effect?

And in the case of Perth gal - I don't mean to sound rude in saying this but are you older than the average dating app punter? If so, I think the way that introductions and conversations would unfold on these mediums would be vastly different to the 18-25yo bracket.

I dont mean to be rude but in this case they haven’t asked about my day either. They’ve said they like my profile. I’ve responded.

Not sure what age has to do with it either.

 

[Sketi]

Ok I didn’t know that was the wrong thing to do. I do this. If someone has complimented me on my profile I will respond thank you. This means I am interested in keeping the conversation going . Otherwise I would have said nothing. I have said this and got no reply. Why do men give up so quickly?

I genuinely didn’t know this was a crap thing to do.

If I put some thought into a conversation opener on Tinder and I get a one word answer in return, to me that signifies that the conversation is going to be fairly hard work and a bit of a one way street. So I might not bother from that point.

Just saying "thanks" is basically the equivalent of giving a thumbs up or heart react. You don't have to write a novel, but if you don't give the other party something to riff on it puts the onus on them to keep coming up with things out of thin air. Conversations don't really work well that way.

That said, just complimenting someones appearance is a pretty crap conversation starter, so maybe a "thanks" is often all it deserves. Both parties in this hypothetical conversation could do better lol. Play stupid games and get stupid prizes.

 

[Perth gal]

Sorry mate, im not having a go at you. Appreciate that youve been on the end of it.

I think im just suprised. With the amount of complete non replies i imagine people get on this i would have thought youd have a crack at any response.

Men think women are incredibly fussy . I think men are.

 

[phantom13]

If I put some thought into a conversation opener on Tinder and I get a one word answer in return, to me that signifies that the conversation is going to be fairly hard work and a bit of a one way street. So I might not bother from that point.

Just saying "thanks" is basically the equivalent of giving a thumbs up or heart react. You don't have to write a novel, but if you don't give the other party something to riff on it puts the onus on them to keep coming up with things out of thin air. Conversations don't really work well that way.

That said, just complimenting someones appearance is a pretty crap conversation starter, so maybe a "thanks" is often all it deserves. Both parties in this hypothetical conversation could do better lol. Play stupid games and get stupid prizes.

The situation described is quite literally a "Thanks" to a generic compliment.

 

[Poetic Justice]

I dont mean to be rude but in this case they haven’t asked about my day either. They’ve said they like my profile. I’ve responded.

Not sure what age has to do with it either.

Really?

I might be out of touch but I would have thought it would be a different experience with older age groups... but I also might be wrong

Is it too much to ask for a "thanks, how's your day?" or something to that effect?

I'd also have to clarify that, yeah, if the intro was simply "I like your profile" then it doesn't really warrant a great response but the whole flow of that three introductions comes across as so monotone its not funny. There's a lack of tone, no ice breaking, it's awkward

 

[Perth gal]

If I put some thought into a conversation opener on Tinder and I get a one word answer in return, to me that signifies that the conversation is going to be fairly hard work and a bit of a one way street. So I might not bother from that point.

Just saying "thanks" is basically the equivalent of giving a thumbs up or heart react. You don't have to write a novel, but if you don't give the other party something to riff on it puts the onus on them to keep coming up with things out of thin air. Conversations don't really work well that way.

That said, just complimenting someones appearance is a pretty crap conversation starter, so maybe a "thanks" is often all it deserves. Both parties in this hypothetical conversation could do better lol. Play stupid games and get stupid prizes.

Amen to this.